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View Full Version : How many George Bushes does it take...


Cruddy
27-10-2005, 23:19:35
to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to start the job, and another to screw it up 10 years later.

MOBIUS
28-10-2005, 09:23:29
Is that the best joke you could find?:rolleyes:

Funko
28-10-2005, 09:24:47
I made this one up myself...

How many roadies does it take to change a lightbulb...


ONE TWO, ONE TWO, ONE TWO TWO TWO, ONE TWO

MOBIUS
28-10-2005, 09:26:06
:D

That was actually very funny...

Funko
28-10-2005, 09:26:21
How many Ramones does it take to change a lightbulb?

one two three four!

MOBIUS
28-10-2005, 09:27:12
I didn't mean that as encouragement...;)

Funko
28-10-2005, 09:28:32
I didn't see your post. :)

Tizzy
28-10-2005, 09:38:24
When Glowworm and I went to our first gig years ago during the changeover it seemed all the roadies were up the lighting rig fiddling with things.
Our joke for ages afterwards was "how many roadies does it take to change a lightbulb?" but we never even thought of having a punchline :D

Nills Lagerbaak
28-10-2005, 09:55:29
Originally posted by Funko
I made this one up myself...

How many roadies does it take to change a lightbulb...


ONE TWO, ONE TWO, ONE TWO TWO TWO, ONE TWO

Errm, shouldn't that be sound men? Otherwise I don't get it.

Funko
28-10-2005, 10:39:51
Roadies stand at the mic talking, the soundguy is at the desk adjusting the sound.

Nills Lagerbaak
28-10-2005, 10:46:06
Bolocks. The person speaking in to the mic is hearing the one stage sound the guy at the desk is hearing the front of house. That's why soundmen should always work in pairs.

Roadies should never be allowed to spoeak into the mic, their rough voices would break it.

Funko
28-10-2005, 10:48:08
No, it isn't bollocks. You are wrong.

Roadies set up the onstage instruments, amps, etc, and do the line checks (if you are in a band big enough to have roadies to do line checks) and this includes strumming the guitars, bashing the drums and shouting one two into the mics.

Nills Lagerbaak
28-10-2005, 10:51:41
No you are wrong. Ultimately it'll be the soundmen who shout 1, 2, into the mics. The roadies might do it for a laugh, but it will be a sound man doing it to test the sound of the monitors.

Funko
28-10-2005, 10:55:57
No, you are wrong!

Sound guys are the guys working the mixing desk. Any chimp can shout into a mic. Plus each instrument tends to have their own roadie (guitar tech, bass tech, drum tech etc.) who will be doing the line check and can hear the monitor mix if that's required. Most big gigs the sound guy will know the monitor mix required 'cause it's the same rig every gig and the same band.

The only time you'll see a soundguy anywhere near a stage is in some low budget operation like a local gig where they don't have anyone to do all that shit for them.

Where's protein when you need him?

Nills Lagerbaak
28-10-2005, 10:59:04
You are wrong. Firstly how many sound engineering courses have you been on?

I have it on very high authority that a complete check of the sound on-stage will involve one soundman speaking into the mic to check the on-stage sound, while he is doing this the other guy mixes the front of house sound. He then walks over and adjusts the monitors. How do you expect a roadie to test the monitors?!

Funko
28-10-2005, 11:05:13
Roadies have ears don't they?

Why would the monitor levels need adjusting onstage not at the desk?

Iron Maiden (and do tours get any bigger?) have one soundman, Doug Hall, the rest of the crew are stage crew, techs etc.

At a local gig you might get a team of two 'soundmen' like Laurel and Hardy but even then Wolfie handles onstage (he's stage crew) and little Wolfie is the soundman who runs the desk.

Sound guys are relatively expensive, you wouldn't have two, or waste one of them on talking into a mic and listening to monitors.

Funko
28-10-2005, 11:06:18
very high authority = God told you?

MOBIUS
28-10-2005, 11:07:19
George Bush told him

Nills Lagerbaak
28-10-2005, 11:09:37
Originally posted by Funko
Roadies have ears don't they?

Why would the monitor levels need adjusting onstage not at the desk?

Iron Maiden (and do tours get any bigger?) have one soundman, Doug Hall, the rest of the crew are stage crew, techs etc.

At a local gig you might get a team of two 'soundmen' like Laurel and Hardy but even then Wolfie handles onstage (he's stage crew) and little Wolfie is the soundman who runs the desk.

Sound guys are relatively expensive, you wouldn't have two, or waste one of them on talking into a mic and listening to monitors.

I'm sorry but I don't know what tin-pot sound men you know that would take the roadie's word for what a good on-stage mix is, when it could be their jobs that are on the line.

Good authority means the guys who are based in that huge venue specifically designed for a gospel choir. That day where Morning Runner were our mixing guinea pigs. That was fun!

Funko
28-10-2005, 11:13:30
I guess if you are defining "the roadie who stands on stage and shouts one two into the mic" as a soundman, you are right.

But I wouldn't.

Nills Lagerbaak
28-10-2005, 11:17:37
No. The sound man shouts one-two then make adjustments based on what he has heard on stage.

How can the sound man know what the sound is like on stage unless he has stood up there and said one-two himslef?!

Funko
28-10-2005, 11:18:53
Gets feedback from the roadies who are the techs for the band and basically take the place of the band in line checks...

if there's a full soundcheck then the band should give feedback on the monitors.

Funko
28-10-2005, 11:19:55
You reckon the soundguy marches back and forth from the desk to the stage at Earls Court to see what the monitors sound like?

Nills Lagerbaak
28-10-2005, 11:25:45
Errm, yes. At the beginning of the set-up. I repeat "No soundman in a professional capacity will allow a gig to happen without having stood on stage and tested the on stage sound himself"

The band give feedback on the on stage sound of course, but there has to be something there initially and that is when the sound men are involved and the bulk of the 1-2 ing takes place.

Funko
28-10-2005, 11:29:11
"No soundman in a professional capacity will allow a gig to happen without having stood on stage and tested the on stage sound himself"

Yeah, right.

Nills Lagerbaak
28-10-2005, 11:30:01
"How many sound engineering courses have you been on?"

Funko
28-10-2005, 11:35:28
The only thing I can think you might be talking about is when the PA is actually set up for the first time, rather than soundcheck type line checks. To make sure all the monitors are working. Even then I think you'd get a technician to stand on stage and give you feedback whilst you switched each monitor channel on and off.

It's absolutely worthless the soundguy deciding what the monitor mix should be.

Nills Lagerbaak
28-10-2005, 11:37:33
You have your opinions fine. I spoke to very decent soundmen mixing some stadium size bands and they said it was their job to ensure the sound on stage was perfect, and they would not let someone else jepadize their job.

Funko
28-10-2005, 11:38:05
Fair enough.

Funko
28-10-2005, 11:40:34
I guess I might be coloured by the environment I'm used to where the sound guy is paid by the promoter not the band and basically doesn't give a shit what the onstage sound is like.

And every gig I've ever been to where the line-checks on change overs have always been done by the roadies. Maybe the sound guys did the checks you are talking about before the gigs, but you never see one get onstage between bands, and the roadies always check the mics etc then as well.

So the joke still works.

Japher
28-10-2005, 13:14:25
this is lame

Funko
28-10-2005, 13:16:11
FAX YOU!

Japher
28-10-2005, 13:20:15
no

MOBIUS
28-10-2005, 13:30:34
Wow, never thought a joke about lightbulbs would prove to be so controversial...;)

Funko
28-10-2005, 13:32:22
That's just the problem... you never thought did you!!

Venom
28-10-2005, 13:37:16
This thread probably would have been better with some insane european Bush bashing.

MOBIUS
28-10-2005, 13:53:11
Originally posted by Funko
That's just the problem... you never thought did you!!

I think we've already confirmed that that isn't one of my strong points...:D

maroule
28-10-2005, 14:01:33
Originally posted by Venom
This thread probably would have been better with some insane european Bush bashing.


somebody called?

Venom
28-10-2005, 14:04:44
I didn't say cock sucking French monkey humper.

Funko
28-10-2005, 14:05:52
Yeah, you just did! :confused:

mr.G
28-10-2005, 14:07:06
Originally posted by Venom
cock sucking French monkey humper. see

maroule
28-10-2005, 14:07:21
I don't suck cocks anymore, bird flu

Venom
28-10-2005, 14:09:28
Originally posted by Funko
Yeah, you just did! :confused:

I did then, but not before then, and I was clearly talking about before then, then.

Nills Lagerbaak
28-10-2005, 14:12:08
Originally posted by Funko
I guess I might be coloured by the environment I'm used to where the sound guy is paid by the promoter not the band and basically doesn't give a shit what the onstage sound is like.

And every gig I've ever been to where the line-checks on change overs have always been done by the roadies. Maybe the sound guys did the checks you are talking about before the gigs, but you never see one get onstage between bands, and the roadies always check the mics etc then as well.

So the joke still works.

Yeah, I think that's the difference. A sound man paid by the venue is going to take an almost obsessive interest in the sound on the stage. If the stage sound is crap bands won't use the venue = he won't get paid. If he works for the band then he'll have been chosen because of the sound that he creates on the stage. Either way it's his baby.

Yeah as I said the majority of sound checking will be done well in advance and only "tweaked" when the bands are playing. At this point the roadie may say 1,2 etc.

Still it was a shit joke.

And Bush is an imperialistic, simpleton who should be shot.

There, is everyone happy?

Colon
28-10-2005, 14:18:57
No. Funko and Mobius are confusing me.

MOBIUS
28-10-2005, 14:24:52
SOAP!

King_Ghidra
28-10-2005, 14:36:56
titwank!

Tizzy
28-10-2005, 14:40:17
Oh God, it's gone all word association

Resource Consumer
28-10-2005, 15:58:24
Do all sound men and roadies have keys hung on their belt? Seems like it.