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The Norks
12-10-2005, 00:08:51
One of my beloved (5) hammies has lost his top teeth and has for the second time got food stuck in the gap, meaning he cant open his mouth properly to eat or drink. Ultimately he will keep doing this. It cost 35 squid last time to correct this oversight on his part- should I risk trying to fix him myself, Laz style, or should I trudge back to the vets? Again.

Cruddy
12-10-2005, 00:47:32
You're asking US?

Predictions; Venom will suggest you kill and eat it.

JM3 will say see the vet.

Funko will post a witticism about giving your hamster head.

Nobody else will have a clue. Well, Laz probably will - but why should he post? He's already told you how to sort it.

Personally... nah, not fair to poke fun at other people's pets.

Considered a little milk & alcohol to calm him down before you clean his teeth out?

BigGameHunter
12-10-2005, 01:38:59
Wire his jaw and equip his cage with a tiny blender, cup and straw.

Gary
12-10-2005, 03:47:29
Do you own a vacuum cleaner ?

notyoueither
12-10-2005, 03:59:04
Sounds like a good excuse for power tools!

JM^3
12-10-2005, 05:06:28
Originally posted by Cruddy
You're asking US?

Predictions; Venom will suggest you kill and eat it.

JM3 will say see the vet.

Funko will post a witticism about giving your hamster head.

Nobody else will have a clue. Well, Laz probably will - but why should he post? He's already told you how to sort it.

Personally... nah, not fair to poke fun at other people's pets.

Considered a little milk & alcohol to calm him down before you clean his teeth out?

how did you know?

JM

Koshko
12-10-2005, 05:38:04
Did the hamster even cost that much?

DaShi
12-10-2005, 07:06:17
Give it an IV.

mr.G
12-10-2005, 07:28:14
send it to Richard Gere

Oerdin
12-10-2005, 08:21:53
Originally posted by The Norks
One of my beloved (5) hammies has lost his top teeth and has for the second time got food stuck in the gap, meaning he cant open his mouth properly to eat or drink. Ultimately he will keep doing this. It cost 35 squid last time to correct this oversight on his part- should I risk trying to fix him myself, Laz style, or should I trudge back to the vets? Again.

Do it yourself and if the bugger dies you can buy 7 more to replace him.

Oerdin
12-10-2005, 08:22:41
Originally posted by mr.G
send it to Richard Gere

I'm sure he would "love it".

Funko
12-10-2005, 09:29:34
Originally posted by Cruddy
Funko will post a witticism about giving your hamster head.

Nah...

Actually I wasn't going to post anything.

But definitely get him a straw if you mend him.

Kitsuki
12-10-2005, 09:51:24
Take it to the vet - then stick it on pet insurance, so *next* time, some other bastard can pay for it... :D

Funko
12-10-2005, 09:53:30
You can't generally get pet insurance for stuff like ham(P)sters.

Nills Lagerbaak
12-10-2005, 10:14:57
They really are a retarded little pet. I say replace his teeth with two iron nails. :p

Funko
12-10-2005, 11:13:20
Sabre Toothed Hamster

DaShi
12-10-2005, 11:17:55
I beginning to think that the thread title is a chilling vision of things to come.

Funko
12-10-2005, 11:19:45
Can you give it mechanical legs as well?

Tizzy
12-10-2005, 11:21:30
And then send it to Elgin to teach a Russian call Flick a lesson?

Funko
12-10-2005, 11:22:49
Beware, it's called Flick 'cause of it's ability with a knife.

Funko
12-10-2005, 11:23:14
Turning hamsters into fighting cyborgs isn't considered cruel is it?

Tizzy
12-10-2005, 11:27:03
Nah, it's fine

The Norks
12-10-2005, 19:18:53
Thankyou all for your advice..I'm going to flip him upside down and try and get him with tweezers. If that fails, vets it is. I might dose him up with some Bach Rescue Remedy first, but I'm a bit worried about getting hamsters drunk...they get rowdy.

Unfortunately hammies don't get insurance because they jump off anything with an edge, die if you so much as look at them wrong, and can mate successfully 20 minutes after giving birth. The insurance companies would go bust within weeks!

mr.G
12-10-2005, 19:21:08
try to hold him under water for two hours, all problems will be solved

Kitsuki
12-10-2005, 20:31:17
He'll have no problems eating once he's stopped kicking, jes jes.

Provost Harrison
12-10-2005, 21:28:06
Why would you need to rescue Bach? He's been dead for centuries...

I would suggest eating it but you just don't get much meat of one of the things...you'd need quite a few hamsters to make a tasty meal so polish off some of the other sicker ones whilst you are at it ;)

Greg W
12-10-2005, 21:43:04
A hamster with falsies. Can't possibly think of a use for that. :cute:

The Norks
13-10-2005, 20:51:18
you're all going to HELL :D

Greg W
13-10-2005, 21:44:47
I live in hell. What with the heat, all the rain, the convicts everywhere...

Provost Harrison
13-10-2005, 21:57:11
That heat and hot rock is very good for barbequing hamster...

Venom
13-10-2005, 22:14:36
Buy a leaf blower and shoot the hamster out of the tube.

Beta1
13-10-2005, 22:43:32
LOL hamster bazooka.

Get one of those glass tubes that you store dry spaghetti in, spray a load of hair spray in the bottom and ram the hamster down it. Then stand the tube on the hob, turn on and wait for the hair spray to ignite.

I saw clarkson do this on TV with a potato instead of a hamster. It hit the ceiling of a big hanger style TV studio. Think how far you could fire a hamster...

Provost Harrison
13-10-2005, 23:11:42
:lol:

Cruddy
14-10-2005, 00:35:58
Originally posted by JM^3
how did you know?

JM

Because some people are more predictable than others.

* Cruddy lights one of his farts

See what I mean?

JM^3
14-10-2005, 01:49:52
I don't think I am so predictable

JM

Greg W
14-10-2005, 02:40:56
Originally posted by Beta1
LOL hamster bazooka.A hamstooka!

HelloKitty
14-10-2005, 02:50:12
How you can save a vet bill with a rodent.

I recommend Cervical dislocation.

Hold him by his little hind quarters and place a metal rod (screwdriver works nice) across the back of his neck up against his skull.

Pull.

Now you have a rodent ready for use (well, Asher won't want him anymore though) with no toxins and only a tiny bit of damage to the nervous system!

If you need the spine or cord intact put him in a glass jar with a candle. Light the candle and seal the lid.

If thats too slow pour in some gasoline.

The Norks
14-10-2005, 18:51:30
oh oh looks like he's cured himself- he appears to have got his teeths back, but I think they're loose. Its so tiny in there it could be anything. I'll give him a couple of days. Little freak.

I do have an ongoing fantasy about getting all my hamsters to eat/stuff Paxo in their cheeks, then putting them all on a skewer and roasting them. How I love them.

MDA
14-10-2005, 19:16:50
Originally posted by Tizzy
Nah, it's fine

yeah, learn 2 play

MDA
14-10-2005, 19:21:06
I guess we have a third faction for our RTS chimpcopter game now, call Blizzard.

Venom
14-10-2005, 19:23:19
Originally posted by Beta1
LOL hamster bazooka.

Get one of those glass tubes that you store dry spaghetti in, spray a load of hair spray in the bottom and ram the hamster down it. Then stand the tube on the hob, turn on and wait for the hair spray to ignite.

I saw clarkson do this on TV with a potato instead of a hamster. It hit the ceiling of a big hanger style TV studio. Think how far you could fire a hamster...

The old potato gun. I've seen many in my day.

My friend's dad made a flaming tennis ball shooter back in the day. It was awesome.

MDA
14-10-2005, 19:26:47
Beta1, I predict you will be the greatest sciences teacher ever.

Cruddy
14-10-2005, 23:16:30
Originally posted by JM^3
I don't think I am so predictable

JM

Hey, it's not an absolute thing. More relative.

Of course, publishing the prediction screws it up for the devious, but not the honest.

To be honest, my prediction's for Funko and Venom were rather shallow... but you, being a sensible, logical guy were easy.