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MattHiggs
07-10-2005, 11:03:25
Q. What goes "pieces of seven, pieces of seven..."?
A. Parity error

Funko
07-10-2005, 11:03:58
I didn't get it for a few seconds but...


:lol:

MattHiggs
07-10-2005, 11:07:30
A programmer had been missing from work for over a week when finally someone noticed and called the cops.

They went round to his flat and broke the door down. They found him dead in the still running shower with an empty bottle of shampoo next to his body. Apparently he'd been washing his hair.

The instructions on the bottle said:

* Wet hair
* Apply shampoo
* Wait 2 minutes
* Rinse
* Repeat

MattHiggs
07-10-2005, 11:20:06
This one will impress the music nerds too:

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/noises.php

Gary
07-10-2005, 11:27:12
:D Think I'll leave the sound link until I get home.

Nills Lagerbaak
07-10-2005, 11:32:45
Originally posted by MattHiggs
Q. What goes "pieces of seven, pieces of seven..."?
A. Parity error


That is ingenius, but I would have spelt it "Paroty error". Perhaps.

Drekkus
07-10-2005, 11:34:44
i didn't get any of those

mr.G
07-10-2005, 11:35:52
yaaay me too
kinda feels good doesn't it

Nills Lagerbaak
07-10-2005, 11:56:51
Q: What is non-orientable and lives in the ocean?
A: Mbius Dick...

Funko
07-10-2005, 11:58:47
Oh god, I must not read this thread.







secret :lol:

MattHiggs
07-10-2005, 12:06:48
For Funko and Jno Mllir

Two Hydrogen atoms are sitting at the bar. One says to the other, "I think I've lost an electron."
"Are you sure?" asks the second.

Says the first...

"I'm positive..."

Tizzy
07-10-2005, 12:08:01
*shakes head*

Provost Harrison
07-10-2005, 12:16:48
Now for the only biochemistry joke I know:

Q. How much does a biochemist pay for a unit of energy?
A: 80p

:lol:

(I've probably fucked up that joke royally).

Funko
07-10-2005, 12:18:18
Isn't it:

A guy goes into a bar and asks for a pint of Adenosine tri-phosphate and the barman says that'll be 80p?

Funko
07-10-2005, 12:18:44
I don't even know what Adenosine tri-phosphate is but I'm pretty sure that's the joke.

Funko
07-10-2005, 12:19:21
A policeman stops Heisenburg on the motorway and says "Excuse me sir, do you know how fast you were going?" "No officer, but I know where I am."

Provost Harrison
07-10-2005, 12:21:29
:lol:

Yeah Funko, that is probably the better way of telling it ;)

Gary
07-10-2005, 12:21:39
Originally posted by Funko
I don't even know what Adenosine tri-phosphate is but I'm pretty sure that's the joke. Neither do I, (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adenosine_triphosphate)but it may work both ways (if you say it out loud of course).

Funko
07-10-2005, 12:22:04
What does Einstein call a spade? A potential well.

Why did the cat fall off the roof? It lost it's μ.

Funko
07-10-2005, 12:22:33
Originally posted by Provost Harrison
:lol:

Yeah Funko, that is probably the better way of telling it ;)

Is adrenosine triphosphate related to energy then?

Provost Harrison
07-10-2005, 12:22:42
Oh dear...

Provost Harrison
07-10-2005, 12:23:29
(the hydrolysis of adenosine triphosphate to adenosine diphosphate is often coupled to other reactions to drive them forwards due to it's very large change in free energy, so yes ;))

Gary
07-10-2005, 12:23:37
Not at 80p a pint

Provost Harrison
07-10-2005, 12:25:36
You wouldn't get piss for that nowadays ;)

Mr. Bas
07-10-2005, 13:01:22
Damn, Funko stole my Heisenberg joke. :cry:

Funko
07-10-2005, 13:01:48
That's the only funny physics joke. But it's MY joke. :p

Drekkus
07-10-2005, 13:13:15
Still don't get them

Greg W
07-10-2005, 13:13:18
Q) How do you know that the driver driving toward you is a physicist?

A) He has a red sticker on his bumper, saying: "If this sticker is blue, you are driving too fast."

Drekkus
07-10-2005, 13:21:41
nope

Provost Harrison
07-10-2005, 13:24:27
Good for you Drekkus, you don't know what horrors you have been spared ;)

Greg W
07-10-2005, 13:26:59
Oh, he's been spared amny many horrors by that line of thought. :p

MDA
07-10-2005, 13:39:36
lost its

:lol:

MDA
07-10-2005, 13:40:20
umm, that character changed...

Tizzy
07-10-2005, 13:41:28
I don't know any nerdy jokes. Yay for me!

Funko
07-10-2005, 13:43:23
You just go out with one. HA HA!

mr.G
07-10-2005, 13:43:27
you know a nedrdy joker......shame on you

Gary
07-10-2005, 13:46:24
Originally posted by MDA
umm, that character changed... Probably didn't choose the right font

Funko
07-10-2005, 13:49:13
Originally posted by MDA
lost its

:lol:

Lost it's mu... Greek letter mu commonly used as the symbol for the coefficcient of friction.

Gary
07-10-2005, 13:59:30
Phding your own joke ? :eek:

Funko
07-10-2005, 13:59:59
It's such a bad joke it doesn't really matter.

Venom
07-10-2005, 14:01:01
I understand some, but don't understand many others. I think that makes me the saddest of all.

Drekkus
07-10-2005, 14:25:37
Originally posted by Funko
It's such a bad joke it doesn't really matter. Sort of antimatters then!!!

:bouncmsk:

\o/

Funko
07-10-2005, 14:30:38
:nervous:

Drekkus
07-10-2005, 15:21:19
what? it's the best joke here!

MoSe
07-10-2005, 15:59:47
Originally posted by Funko
Lost it's mu... Greek letter mu commonly used as the symbol for the coefficcient of friction.

pardon me but I require a PHd...

the joke in english is reinforced by the fact the it's a cat and it lost its "mew"?

Funko
07-10-2005, 16:01:15
Yes...

Chris
07-10-2005, 16:04:46
Geeks.

Nills Lagerbaak
07-10-2005, 16:09:33
Greeks?

I bought a fancy Omega watch, took it on holiday to Spain and someone stole it. Oh well Adios Omega.

Chris
07-10-2005, 16:11:20
You should be shot for that.

Tizzy
07-10-2005, 16:15:40
Originally posted by Drekkus
what? it's the best joke here!

He's right.

(That's it, my life is now over, I can't sink any lower)

Gary
07-10-2005, 16:19:23
Oh gawd, I agree with Chris

Sir Penguin
07-10-2005, 16:27:43
Matt's first two were excellent.

SP

MoSe
07-10-2005, 16:27:53
Originally posted by Nills Lagerbaak
Oh well Adios Omega.

is that a joke????

MoSe
07-10-2005, 16:28:42
...:gotit:


*GROAN*

forget it, I'll have shot myself before you can reply

Funko
07-10-2005, 16:39:23
Originally posted by Nills Lagerbaak
Greeks?

I bought a fancy Omega watch, took it on holiday to Spain and someone stole it. Oh well Adios Omega.

:lol:

King_Ghidra
07-10-2005, 16:42:52
Originally posted by MoSe
is that a joke????

definitely not

Vincent
07-10-2005, 20:05:29
You couid marry Mr_G

mr.G
08-10-2005, 20:21:07
could I? Ay Ay

Scabrous Birdseed
09-10-2005, 10:08:03
A philosophy professor gets caught by a security guard smoking his pipe in a no-smoking area.

"I'm sorry sir, I can't possibly let you smoke in here. Imagine what it'd be like if everyone did, the air would be totally clogged up."

The professor, somewhat blustered, answers:

"Bah! Who do you think you are, Kant?"

.

Um. I guess it works better when you actually tell it.

MattHiggs
25-11-2005, 11:04:07
A guy walks into a bar, the bartender says 'Welcome to the Entropy Bar, may I take your order?

Funko
25-11-2005, 11:07:49
Oh god...

That one took me a little while to get.

:nervous:

Funko
25-11-2005, 11:08:12
The bar at the Met Office in Bracknell was called the Iso Bar.

mr.G
25-11-2005, 11:14:04
Originally posted by MattHiggs
A guy walks into a bar, the bartender says 'Welcome to the Entropy Bar, may I take your order? pleezz explain for the Dutchies

MoSe
25-11-2005, 11:15:33
Originally posted by Funko
the Iso Bar. In france they would be selling "bire pression"

Funko
25-11-2005, 11:16:16
Entropy is a scientific measure of disorder or randomness...

So "taking your order" is a pun on "increasing disorder" or increasing entropy.

Even if you get it I'm not sure it's funny.

mr.G
25-11-2005, 11:17:50
geek humor!!!!!!

MoSe
25-11-2005, 11:18:36
It's very funny.
In Milan I used to go a lot to an "Entropy pub"
Never crossed my mind :lol:
although in italian "prendere l'ordine" would be a weird way to say it

MoSe
25-11-2005, 11:19:09
Originally posted by mr.G
geek humor!!!!!!
yeah, that's the thread for it

Sir Penguin
25-11-2005, 19:55:54
Entropy bar! :lol::lol::lol:

SP

alsieboo
25-11-2005, 23:50:45
yeah. I think I'm too much of a chav for this thread

Walrus Feeder
26-11-2005, 11:41:31
Try this joke I heard the other day...

A mother and young daughter are walking in the park when they spot a couple having sex behind a bush.

Daughter asks, "Mummy, what are they doing?"
Mother replies, "Oh, er , they are just making cakes"

Later on they visit the zoo and two monkeys are at it in the enclosure and again...

Daughter asks "Mummy, what are they doing?"
Mother replies, "They are just making cakes"

On the way home...

Daughter says, "Mummy, were you and Daddy making cakes in the lounge yesterday"
Mother "Oh, er, what gives you that idea?"
Daughter "Well I licked the icing of the sofa."
:p :vom:

Walrus Feeder
26-11-2005, 12:00:20
Another joke - (could be the same family I suppose!)

After having a shower, a mother is drying herself off when her young daughter suddenly comes into the bathroom, sees her naked and looks at her pubic hair.

Daughter asks, "Mummy, what's that?"

Mother replies, "Oh, it's just my sponge"

Daughter then asks, "Mummy, does Mrs Taylor next door have a sponge too?

Mother replies, "I imagine so dear, but why are you asking?"

Daughter replies, "Well yesterday I saw Daddy washing his face with it"

shagnasty
26-11-2005, 13:15:33
Originally posted by alsieboo
yeah. I think I'm too much of a chav for this thread

Ha, I knew it. Prepare for pissy flagons. :D