View Full Version : Lungstein: choose me an ending

Immortal Wombat
04-10-2005, 01:26:49
I stole this idea for a film, but I can't decide which ending to use.

A gritty rural drama set in a farming community in Yorkshirish in the 1860s.

A new businessman has arrived in the village of Backodale, selling little packets of white powder as vitamin supplement, cure-all and aphrodisiac. Unbeknownst to the villagers, Professor Fatso is in fact peddling crack cocaine, and the villagers are rapidly becoming addicted. After some weeks of a steady supply, Fatso begins to raise his prices, and the villagers in desperation begin to sell their possessions, double cross their friends and let the elderly folk starve rather than do without. Only the village doctor is suspicious, and having had no crack for himself, is not addicted, and begins to investigate.

As the village is on the point of collapse, the doctor powerless to stop the inevitable breakdown of society, a stranger arrives in the village. He is Lungstein, and rides into the village on his camel, smoking an elegant tobacco pipe (as a counterpoint to the villagers' rough hewn crackpipes), with a broad cowboy hat and a wry lopsided smile. The villagers in their desperation for money attempt to mug Lungstein, but he fights them off with his rapier. Alas, he in injured in the struggle, but luckily the doctor soon arrives and takes him to the surgery to rest.

When Lungstein is recovered and fed, the doctor attempts to explain the situation, but it appears that Lungstein already knows what is going on- he demands to speak to Prof. Fatso. The doctor takes him to where the professor is living, but when he gets there Fatso has bouncers on the door. They block Lungstein's entrance, and he is forced to disable them, possibly by means of camel. He enters, but Fatso has fled via the rear of the building, into the main street. Lungstein follows him out, but the villagers have congregated to protect Fatso, the sole providor of crack.

Alternative ending #1 - Traditional British Happy Ending
Lungstein persuades the villagers that they have become slaves to Fatso's whims, and that the only way to break from his thrall is to help him take Fatso into the hands of the Law. They are eventually persuaded, and Lungstein rides off into the sunset with Fatso tied to the back of the camel.

Alternative ending #2 - Modern, Depressing Everybody-Dies Ending
Fatso draws his rapier and charges Lungstein, but is cut down/shot by Lungstein's superior skill. The village go mad as they realise they have no more crack, and attack Lungstein, eventually killing him, and then each other as the addiction drives them insane.

Alternative ending #3 - Post-Modern Morally Ambivalent Ending
Lungstein persuades the village that he can supply crack at a lower price (or even for free), and the villagers hail him as a hero, kick Fatso out of the village and enjoy a massive crack-laden party of epic proportions.

Lurker the Second
04-10-2005, 19:29:25
I vote for a Ninja showing up and wailing on all their asses. Big time.