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Funko
30-09-2005, 12:10:32
Rock School 9:30pm, channel 4.

In a week packed with good new shows, Rock School is one of the funniest and most endearing. Gene Simmons, frontman with the staggeringly grotesque rock group Kiss, fetches up at Christ's Hospital, a boarding school in West Sussex, to teach a class of 13-to 14-year-olds how to be "rock gods". The twist is that Simmons has six weeks to turn them into a band proficient enough (if that word can be applied here) to support Motorhead. The kids in the school's adapted Tudor uniform, which rather makes them look like tiny medieval witch hunters, are charming and delightful. Simmons, who looks like a giant bluebottle, gets his class stomping before he auditions his group for a lead singer. He's surprisingly perceptive and you suspect that his reasons for making an unusual choice are quite touching and have nothing to do with any actual ability.

novacane
30-09-2005, 12:42:36
I thought this looked really bad............

Funko
30-09-2005, 12:53:39
:eek:

Gramercy Riffs
30-09-2005, 13:37:07
Is that the press release?

fp
30-09-2005, 13:39:33
Originally posted by novacane
I thought this looked really bad............

Snap

Funko
30-09-2005, 13:39:47
It's from the radio times.

Funko
03-10-2005, 09:23:02
Well, it was awesome. :beer:

novacane
03-10-2005, 09:47:32
Yeah, better than expected. I especially laughed at the girl who kept jumping out of her skin everytime Simmons raised his voice.

We also noticed an underlying sexual tension in the classroom. With his reputation, those poor girls aren't safe.

Funko
03-10-2005, 09:50:01
:lol:

Yes. There was that one girl who, after they'd watched the history of KISS video, was getting rather too excited about the amount of women he'd slept with!

Nills Lagerbaak
03-10-2005, 10:44:22
I think "Emperor" might be a little bit autistic.

Anyhow, I hope their firsty song is a dragon slaying epic written in Elvish.

King_Ghidra
03-10-2005, 10:48:05
i felt a bit sorry for emperor, he is clearly a bit of an outcast at the school

when the deputy head arrived it was so depressing, she epitomised everything i hate about the school system

Nills Lagerbaak
03-10-2005, 10:49:41
Yeah, I felt sorry for emperor. Just goes to show you can have a class full of stuck up twats who are as good as bullying as any inner-city school.
I know what you mean about that stuffy teacher too.

Funko
03-10-2005, 10:53:51
Emeror rules. But yes, I felt a bit sorry for him too.

"maybe they'll ask me to sit at their tables at lunch not just to make fun of me..." etc. :(

Good choice for lead singer, even though he can't sing. He rocks the hardest. I mean how could you have a lead singer who chose as his rock name "Rods". If you want to stay that unoriginal then "The Rod" would be a lot more rock (I'm not even going to mention Bagpuss...). I liked the faint smile of pride on Gene Simmons face when Emporer came up with his name.

And I agree about the deputy head...

Funko
03-10-2005, 10:54:18
Plus he speaks Elvish, clearly an advantage in a metal singer.

Tizzy
03-10-2005, 10:58:56
Originally posted by Funko
Bagpuss...

That is still making me laugh and yet cringe at the same time.

Funko
03-10-2005, 11:00:47
Even if you really like Bagpuss, he was the least rock character in Bagpuss.

protein
03-10-2005, 11:01:03
He's not autistic, just a geek. Possibly borderline aspergers. Notice how he's the only one that likes metal. :lol:

Funko
03-10-2005, 11:04:16
Huh?

At the start of the show he said he didn't like rock music only classical music and "love songs". But being picked as the singer really gave him a confidence boost and by the end he was really getting into it. I think because he thought he could belong to the group through the music more than some musical epiphany (although I'm sure that'll come if he keeps being exposed to great stuff...)

protein
03-10-2005, 11:09:56
Sorry, i thought we were talking about the little ginger kid who did a long piece to camera of him rocking out and miming to metal.

Funko
03-10-2005, 11:10:15
As to Nills' point. He's just a bit different. Why would he be autistic just because he speaks Elvish? It's obvious from what little we've seen he's not emotionally stunted. And why should he have to pretend to like all the crap other teenagers like just to fit in?

I reckon this show will be the best thing that has happened to him for ages. As Mr Simmons said, "weren't we all [rockstars] the odd kids who were picked on at school... "

:beer:

Funko
03-10-2005, 11:11:28
Originally posted by protein
Sorry, i thought we were talking about the little ginger kid who did a long piece to camera of him rocking out and miming to metal.

Yes, at the end of the show, after being picked as the singer. The same kid, at the beginning of the show, said he didn't like rock music. Just seemed like you were saying only the weird kid liked metal as if it was some kind of negative thing.

Funko
03-10-2005, 11:13:14
and it was only KISS, they're hardly metal. They're a 'manufactured' pop band with distorted guitars and make-up. ;)

Nills Lagerbaak
03-10-2005, 11:34:07
I only said he was autistic as a joke! Still it does sound like he has some emotional problems (probably exacerbated by his horrible classmates).

Bagpus is a fat lazy cat, possibly the least rock thing ever. Even moomin-mama would be more rock and roll than bagpus!

Funko
03-10-2005, 11:38:25
:lol:

Maybe Bagpuss is really stoned?

Nills Lagerbaak
03-10-2005, 11:42:58
That would be good. I think she should change her name to Slagpuss or Slackpussy.

fp
03-10-2005, 12:01:43
Originally posted by Nills Lagerbaak
Slackpussy.

aka Courtney Love

BigGameHunter
03-10-2005, 13:56:44
So...kids are pretty vicious in school over there, eh?
Sounds like more of an institutionalized cruelty than here, where it is socio-economic.

Funko
03-10-2005, 14:09:49
I think kids are just as vicious everywhere.

Funko
03-10-2005, 14:10:12
No matter what social status/economics or whatever.

Venom
03-10-2005, 14:33:01
Being violent, at least, is inherent to everyone. Everyone little kid I've ever seen has to be taught not to hit. Not taught to hit.

Immortal Wombat
03-10-2005, 20:42:01
I played rugby against Christ's Hospital. Bunch of twats.

Drekkus
03-10-2005, 22:20:58
Brave boy you are, IW, beating up hospitalised kids.

Immortal Wombat
03-10-2005, 22:29:12
Served 'em right for looking at me funny.

Lazarus and the Gimp
06-10-2005, 19:26:40
Originally posted by BigGameHunter
So...kids are pretty vicious in school over there, eh?
Sounds like more of an institutionalized cruelty than here, where it is socio-economic.

In my experience it was more "Let's kick the shit out of the only Goth in the village!".

I realise I'm in danger of coming across as a "Little Britain" character here....

Scabrous Birdseed
06-10-2005, 21:19:34
That sort of "I wanna stand out as much from my dull, brutal rural surroundings as possible" type of attitude occurs again and again in Swedish music history, from Swing to Twee-pop. Read an interview with any musician or fan and he/she's liable to have come from the arse end of nowhere where they stood out from everyone else and were punished for it.

Is it the same in Britain? I get the impression it's more urban there generally.

Lazarus and the Gimp
06-10-2005, 22:42:52
You'd be surprised. There's a lot of rural expanses dotted with small villages and market towns.

Scabrous Birdseed
07-10-2005, 09:50:38
Name ten influential british musicians to have come from small towns or villages.

MattHiggs
07-10-2005, 10:41:15
Paul Weller

MattHiggs
07-10-2005, 10:44:11
Elton John

novacane
07-10-2005, 11:48:01
Kate Bush

In general though, artists are assigned to their nearest large town (which more people will have heard of).

Nills Lagerbaak
07-10-2005, 12:29:17
Simply put - towns have a greater density of people, hence a greater likelihood of producing a decent songwriter.

Lazarus and the Gimp
07-10-2005, 17:28:08
Polly Harvey
Julian Cope

Lazarus and the Gimp
07-10-2005, 17:33:04
Brian Eno

Lazarus and the Gimp
07-10-2005, 17:34:29
John Cale

Lazarus and the Gimp
07-10-2005, 17:36:03
Billy Mackenzie

Lazarus and the Gimp
07-10-2005, 17:44:52
Annie Lennox

Lazarus and the Gimp
07-10-2005, 17:50:06
And Joe Meek.

Scabrous Birdseed
07-10-2005, 17:55:30
Took you a while to think of 'em, eh? ;)

Have you got locations for each? I might use this for my course in some respect.

MattHiggs
07-10-2005, 19:42:09
Elton John: Pinner, Middlesex
Paul Weller: Nr. Woking

Fergus & The Brazen Car
08-10-2005, 10:10:37
Originally posted by Scabrous Birdseed
Took you a while to think of 'em, eh? ;)




It's not really the first thing you think of when you consider modern music.

Let's face it, Joy Division/New Order are thought of as a Manchester band, possibly because the Salford/Macclesfield Axis sounds somewhat less than hip...


Bowie, for instance, makes much of being born in Brixton, but rather less of moving at an early age to the rather untrendy staid Bromley- where, surprisingly, a goodly proportion of the early Punk scene also hailed from.

Bryan Ferry comes from Washington in Tyne and Wear- in fact, you'll occasionally find that performers born in exotic locales or gritty inner city areas are middle of the road artists- like Cliff Richard.

My favourite ex-manager used to go to school with Brian Eno in Suffolk- and said he used to break the 'cool' rules even then, talking to fellow pupils younger than him, which was considered gravely unhip by the Sixth Form in crowd.