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Kitsuki
08-09-2005, 10:03:26
... to use a dating website...?

Last night I caused a huge row in my house by saying it was. Something about me calling everyone on there sad and desperate, and my female housemate then saying she thought they were great etc etc...

So, distract me from the fact I am in for yet more grief when I get back home by giving me your opinion. I'm right, aren't I?

Funko
08-09-2005, 10:07:55
I think these days they are becoming more and more mainstream/normal.

So your view is probably a bit out of date. :)

King_Ghidra
08-09-2005, 10:10:32
no i don't think it is sad, kitsuki.

i could well understand someone wanting to use one to help kick off the chance to meet someone at least a little like-minded.

one of the most frustrating things about being single is that the major chance to meet or pull a member of the opposite sex is probably out on the piss somewhere

this means you are need a) mates to go out with, b) to be drunk yourself, c) to find someone who will also probably be drunk who seems to like you

this is a bit of a lottery and i'm sure we've al been there on friday evening with the bravado of 'i'm going to find myself a woman tonight' and it all ends in a lonely drunken mess

not to mention lots of people aren't interested in the pubbing and clubbing scene

now of course the other option is to meet someone through some other social activity or work or somehing like that, but lots of people might not have that dynamic open to them (and as i look around my office filled with fat geeks it is easy to understand)

so basically what i am getting at is that i could well understand someone trying another avenue and i say good luck to them

Kitsuki
08-09-2005, 10:11:41
Probably is, but I found it more funny to have my view on that...

We ended up trawling through loads of the sites on laptops; and there are heaps of single mothers, (that *may* just be because we were looking at Swindon - highest teenage pregnancy rate in the UK!) unemployed people, and people with rather awful photos... I think I said there were 2 out of about 100 profiles I would have actually even considered going on a date with a person.

I suppose it suits for peeps without the confident to talk to people in bars and IRL.

Funko
08-09-2005, 10:12:15
What K_G said is what I meant but I am lazier. :)

Kitsuki
08-09-2005, 10:13:59
As a bit of an addendum to that, the person who used them in my house *is* really attractive, out-going and has a decent graduate job and gets plenty of attention in real life. I couldn't understand the grief of using a dating website.

Can certainly relate to getting myself in a drunken mess KG, but its all about persistence...

protein
08-09-2005, 10:14:12
I believe myspace is the cool way to meet people nowerdays.

Kitsuki
08-09-2005, 10:15:06
Urgh, cant stand that site... Was referring more to the traditional fee-based dating sites anyhoo.

Funko
08-09-2005, 10:15:22
Yeah, MySpace has a dating part of it built in.

Funko
08-09-2005, 10:16:04
There are lots of free ones, why would you pay?

mr.G
08-09-2005, 10:19:00
the other ones are more serious (meant the ones you have to pay for) so more CG

Nills Lagerbaak
08-09-2005, 10:19:10
Hmm, but internet websites restrict you to the saddest type of loser - those who use computers :D

I seriously think speed dating is the way forward, it's great fun...that or jive dancing - smooth.

Kitsuki
08-09-2005, 10:20:13
Well, this is what the girl in question swore by, and the whole thing kicked off when I said something like, "Isn't it full of sad, sleazy, desperate men."

I have no doubt at any rate that is true, even if it's not sad to use one of the websites. :)

Kitsuki
08-09-2005, 10:21:52
Originally posted by Nills Lagerbaak
Hmm, but internet websites restrict you to the saddest type of loser - those who use computers :D

I seriously think speed dating is the way forward, it's great fun...that or jive dancing - smooth.

I have been speed dating, and that was a giggle. Nothing came of it, other than one date, but it was fun nonetheless.

I think it also overcomes the points about meeting unsuitable drunk girls like KG pointed out rightly before.

Crucially though, you are meeting people face to face - how can you really tell if you have a spark with someone over the internet...

Oh, salsa classes are a great avenue too...

Tizzy
08-09-2005, 10:22:40
Originally posted by Kitsuki
"Isn't it full of sad, sleazy, desperate men."


Just like in a pub or anywhere else, you just avoid them and find the good ones :)

mr.G
08-09-2005, 10:23:31
and after a while go live together with a sad, sleazy, desperate man?

protein
08-09-2005, 10:23:34
Odd, I think speed dating is terribly sad.

mr.G
08-09-2005, 10:24:00
yaaay and slow dating is ONE big frustration

Nills Lagerbaak
08-09-2005, 10:24:55
Oh yeah Salsa is another very effective avenue! Live music gigs can be good too, but you run the risk of meeting fan girls, who frankly are boring!

Tennis club lead to a few incidents too....

Kitsuki
08-09-2005, 10:27:38
Originally posted by protein
Odd, I think speed dating is terribly sad.

But you are doing that in a social situation, with drinks, and you go with friends. Tis a giggle.

On a dating website my poor housemate probably ends up in email conversations with dirty old/young men...

*Shrug*

Kitsuki
08-09-2005, 10:29:45
Though, one of my mates in Swindon once wrote this on a message board I post on -

My friend met someone after a speed dating evening and at the end of the evening she (quite innocently) went back to his house round the corner from McKenzie's purely to call a cab. Whilst waiting for the cab, he made a request: "I've been fighting this all evening but do you mind if I..."
I think the most pleasant way I can say this is "pleasure myself" which he then promptly proceeded to do. To completion. On his sofa. While she looked in the other direction.

How nasty is that. But she did also have a couple of fun evenings out with other people as well on the back of it!!

Drekkus
08-09-2005, 10:36:07
Originally posted by Kitsuki
Probably is, but I found it more funny to have my view on that...

We ended up trawling through loads of the sites on laptops; and there are heaps of single mothers, (that *may* just be because we were looking at Swindon - highest teenage pregnancy rate in the UK!) unemployed people, and people with rather awful photos... I think I said there were 2 out of about 100 profiles I would have actually even considered going on a date with a person.

I suppose it suits for peeps without the confident to talk to people in bars and IRL. What KG said. If you go out in the streets, or the pub, chance that you will find someone you want to date are probably as high.

King_Ghidra
08-09-2005, 10:36:09
Originally posted by Kitsuki

We ended up trawling through loads of the sites on laptops; and there are heaps of single mothers,

i think single mums (and dads) are a good example of a demographic who have a really sucky time on the conventional dating scene

in the first case they can't generally just fob their kid(s) off on someone and go out and get pissed

and secondly, anyone they do meet has to overcome the barrier of becoming a surrogate parent to their child(ren)

i would think a dating website is a good place to get that kind of thing out in the open and weed out the people who would otherwise end up walking away

Nills Lagerbaak
08-09-2005, 10:37:01
Originally posted by protein
Odd, I think speed dating is terribly sad.

why's that? It has to be the most pressure free-way of dating and the situation breaks peoples' inhibitions down a bit.

Kitsuki
08-09-2005, 10:38:21
Yeah, I do accept that.

I suppose its more in the case of my housemate; who as I said before, is attractive, confident, has a good graduate job and plenty of people to go out with.

In those circumstances is it a bit odd...?

Perhaps I am being a bit harsh about this; at any rate I have already emailed said housemate to apologise profusely!

Funko
08-09-2005, 10:38:40
Originally posted by Kitsuki
But you are doing that in a social situation, with drinks, and you go with friends. Tis a giggle.

On a dating website my poor housemate probably ends up in email conversations with dirty old/young men...

*Shrug*

You think her judgement is worse on the internet than in real life for some reason?

Kitsuki
08-09-2005, 10:41:38
No, but I think your information and judgement can't be full about someone unless you are talking to them in real life... That and its easy to lie; I could be Tanya, the 6foot blonde stunner on one of those sites in no time at all...

I imagine when I meet some of you chaps on Sat some/all of you may be radically different to how you are on here; I think its the same thing with dating.

Nills Lagerbaak
08-09-2005, 10:45:01
Originally posted by Kitsuki
Yeah, I do accept that.

I suppose its more in the case of my housemate; who as I said before, is attractive, confident, has a good graduate job and plenty of people to go out with.

In those circumstances is it a bit odd...?

Perhaps I am being a bit harsh about this; at any rate I have already emailed said housemate to apologise profusely!


Don't think her circustances have anything to do with it. It just means she'll be exposed to more intellignet, atractive graduates...

Last time I checked out the speed dating in bristol it was fully of sexy intelligent young student types who were tired of the rugby playing, beer swilling peers they were exposed too.....

Funko
08-09-2005, 10:45:41
Some of my friends once told some girls in a club that they were pilots.

People can lie on the internet and you lose visual body language cues but people are also a lot more open and frank on the internet - maybe in writing in general - than they are in real life so you get to know them a lot faster.

The Norks
08-09-2005, 10:49:12
The internet is a great way to meet people. Why is internet dating any sadder than a CG meeting? Why is it any sadder than meeting someone in a pub or a sports club? Its just another avenue for meeting like minded people. I've used a particular dating site loads and its always been good clean (free) fun.

If you mean are the intentions of the people who use dating sites sad, well how is it any sadder than going out on the pull, or going to a party hoping to meet someone? I don't meet guys through work, I don't belong to any hobby or sports clubs and most of my friends are paired off so its quite a logical thing to do I think, and more and more people find themselves in fractured situations where meeting people is tough. I've also found its a good way to assess people a little bit before you meet them, like old fashioned courtship, you can talk to them and find out if you have anything in common and to get to know them (and yes you can have a spark), you can talk to them on the phone if you're comfortable with that, then meet and so on. That may not be everyone's cup of tea, but it works for me and lots of other people. I think its probably safer and more reliable than picking someone up in a club and staggering back to theirs drunk. Its more deliberately intentioned but that shouldn't make it sadder than do anything else with a purpose in mind.

I've never done speed dating but I think it would be fun. Like anything else, you can use and abuse dating sites depending on your motives, but basically they are just a hub of communication like any other site, and there are many different types of people with all kinds of reasons for being there. You do get weirdos and nutters, but you get them everywhere in life, you just have to take the rough with the smooth and be sensible.

Summary: Internet dating is a good way to source fresh meat. :D

Kitsuki
08-09-2005, 10:51:11
Haha, ok I feel converted on this one. Internet dating is not sad and in pennance I shall make my housemate dinner (note this pennance wasn't optional, she's told me I am...)

mr.G
08-09-2005, 10:51:14
:rolleyes: female darkstar

Kitsuki
08-09-2005, 10:51:57
Lol, quality x-post...

mr.G
08-09-2005, 10:52:47
:lol:

The Norks
08-09-2005, 10:55:04
Originally posted by Kitsuki
No, but I think your information and judgement can't be full about someone unless you are talking to them in real life... That and its easy to lie; I could be Tanya, the 6foot blonde stunner on one of those sites in no time at all...

I imagine when I meet some of you chaps on Sat some/all of you may be radically different to how you are on here; I think its the same thing with dating.

Internet dating is just an introduction to a person who you may be compatible with. Of course you have to meet someone irl to really know them and assess them. Thats just common sense.

DH and I met online, and we talked online for about two weeks, then chatted on the phone a few times, then we met up irl (following the usual safety rules ie meet in a public place blah blah). The internet for us was just a way to initially say 'do I think I could get on with this person and would i like to meet them?'.

I have met a few people who've said they loved someone they knew only online, and I think they're kidding themselves or fantasists, but each to their own.

Funko
08-09-2005, 10:55:14
Originally posted by Kitsuki
Haha, ok I feel converted on this one. Internet dating is not sad and in pennance I shall make my housemate dinner (note this pennance wasn't optional, she's told me I am...)

:lol:

Kitsuki
08-09-2005, 10:58:15
Im trying to decide whether or not I get creative and get the last laugh, but I feel guilty so I'll make something safe and good like stir fry or sushi.

The Norks
08-09-2005, 10:58:53
Originally posted by mr.G
:rolleyes: female darkstar

I'm passionate!

The Norks
08-09-2005, 10:59:24
Originally posted by Kitsuki
Im trying to decide whether or not I get creative and get the last laugh, but I feel guilty so I'll make something safe and good like stir fry or sushi.

make sausage en croute :D

mr.G
08-09-2005, 11:00:08
and you gave a summary :applausse:

DaShi
08-09-2005, 11:07:56
Originally posted by The Norks
The internet is a great way to meet people. Why is internet dating any sadder than a CG meeting?

To be fair, there's not much sadder than a cg meet.

Funko
08-09-2005, 11:09:44
You might think that if you'd never been to an Apolyton meet...

mr.G
08-09-2005, 11:26:30
no mrG at a Apolyton meet so Dashi "the great" is right

Drekkus
08-09-2005, 12:20:24
On the other hand, there is a downside to internet dating, as I heard from a female collegue of mine: A lot of men use internet dating as a giant pool of sex adventures, while women want to find a mate. For some guys it's so easy to date another woman every week, have sex, and hop on to the other. They reckon, why have a stable relationship. So there's a bit of an imbalance there. :D

mr.G
08-09-2005, 12:24:22
*as I heard from a female collegue of mine* afraid the wife is lurking on CG?

Drekkus
08-09-2005, 12:29:40
:lol: no, that's an actual collegue of mine, the one with the breastcancer.

King_Ghidra
08-09-2005, 12:30:01
:lol:

well if the chicks keep their legs shut for a date or two they will find out whether the guy is that type or not

Drekkus
08-09-2005, 12:34:56
That's just a case of being a bit more tenacious before going through the exact same procedure. :D

mr.G
08-09-2005, 12:52:58
Originally posted by Drekkus
:lol: no, that's an actual collegue of mine, the one with the breastcancer. [sick joke mode on] the ones with breastcancer are normally a sure thing at the first date [ sick joke mode off]

Drekkus
08-09-2005, 13:09:59
I don't she dateworthy at the moment, with the chemotherapy and all.

mr.G
08-09-2005, 13:11:10
oops

Greg W
08-09-2005, 13:11:49
Hey, for a bloke that hasn't tried to pick up a girl for 13 years, it's not a bad way to get past the initial stages of testing compatibility. Again, most of my mates are paired up now, they don't go out regularly to places where you'd be likely to pick up, it's all adulty type dinners and stuff now.

Realistically, it's just the next stage in the evolution of dating, as is speed dating. Not that I think that has reached Aus.

King_Ghidra
08-09-2005, 13:17:44
Originally posted by mr.G
[sick joke mode on] the ones with breastcancer are normally a sure thing at the first date [ sick joke mode off]

:lol:

King_Ghidra
08-09-2005, 13:18:17
Originally posted by Greg W
Realistically, it's just the next stage in the evolution of dating, as is speed dating. Not that I think that has reached Aus.

that would be where you don't shear the sheep first

Kitsuki
08-09-2005, 13:32:12
:lol:

The Norks
08-09-2005, 13:34:31
Originally posted by Drekkus
On the other hand, there is a downside to internet dating, as I heard from a female collegue of mine: A lot of men use internet dating as a giant pool of sex adventures, while women want to find a mate. For some guys it's so easy to date another woman every week, have sex, and hop on to the other. They reckon, why have a stable relationship. So there's a bit of an imbalance there. :D

lets examine that statement again, minus the word 'internet':

On the other hand, there is a downside to dating, as I heard from a female collegue of mine: A lot of men use dating as a giant pool of sex adventures, while women want to find a mate. For some guys it's so easy to date another woman every week, have sex, and hop on to the other. They reckon, why have a stable relationship. So there's a bit of an imbalance there. :D

wouldja look at that! :D

Seriously, I can't believe we're even discussing this- almost everyone I know has done some form of internet meeting/dating now, even my mum. I didn't think anyone had an issue with it now.

mr.G
08-09-2005, 13:35:38
yaaaaaaay men!!!!! tsssssk tsssssk

Drekkus
08-09-2005, 13:44:56
Originally posted by The Norks
wouldja look at that! :D

Seriously, I can't believe we're even discussing this- almost everyone I know has done some form of internet meeting/dating now, even my mum. I didn't think anyone had an issue with it now. I'm not saying internet dating is wrong, I completely agree with KG's view on this. I'm just saying that for guys this is a endless pool of sex adventures, whereas the pub or other places (even combined) is more limited.

mr.G
08-09-2005, 13:47:04
the pub or other places = everywhere
everywhere vs. the internets

hmmmmmm

King_Ghidra
08-09-2005, 13:53:19
x-fear! :shoot:

The Norks
08-09-2005, 14:02:25
women can (and do) use it for the same purposes you know, most people make their intentions clear on their profiles.

Provoked Harrison
08-09-2005, 14:05:34
really really

Greg W
08-09-2005, 14:23:22
Originally posted by King_Ghidra
that would be where you don't shear the sheep first Mate, it's the Kiwis that don't shear their sheep (with anyone). ;)

The Norks
08-09-2005, 15:17:14
:lol:

funniest thing Greg has ever said :D

Drekkus
08-09-2005, 23:23:53
Originally posted by Greg W
Mate, it's the Kiwis that don't shear their sheep (with anyone). ;) :lol:

LoD
09-09-2005, 00:48:58
:lol: @ Greg

Originally posted by The Norks
women can (and do) use it for the same purposes you know, most people make their intentions clear on their profiles.

And that's a thing - you don't get to see someone's profile in a public venue. I think that's what Drekkus had in mind - it's much easier and effective to find someone with an "OMG I'M SO WET FUCK ME FUCK ME!" profile on a dating service than to try to pick up a lady in a pub/club. The only risk in online dating being, naturally, that the profile lists the girls name is fake, and she's really called Bubba.

Provost Harrison
09-09-2005, 01:00:10
Oh the irony - talking on an online bulletin board with your online friends about how sad online dating is :lol:

Koshko
09-09-2005, 01:55:40
Dating sites? Not sad.
Pimping it on forums? Only sad until you actually hook up with someone.
Pimping it on myspace? Always sad.
Sex Sites? Really Sad ... Not that you care when you're fucking someone.

The Norks
09-09-2005, 08:48:09
Originally posted by LoD
:lol: @ Greg



And that's a thing - you don't get to see someone's profile in a public venue. I think that's what Drekkus had in mind - it's much easier and effective to find someone with an "OMG I'M SO WET FUCK ME FUCK ME!" profile on a dating service than to try to pick up a lady in a pub/club. The only risk in online dating being, naturally, that the profile lists the girls name is fake, and she's really called Bubba.

I don't know, I think its pretty obvious in clubs who the easy bets are, and in either situation, once you've made contact you still aren't guaranteed anything.

LoD
09-09-2005, 10:10:01
For you (and for me ;) ) maybe - but for the socially deficient guys who just want to get laid, I don't think so.

Funko
09-09-2005, 10:24:18
Originally posted by The Norks
I don't know, I think its pretty obvious in clubs who the easy bets are, and in either situation, once you've made contact you still aren't guaranteed anything.

Is it? :nervous:

Nills Lagerbaak
09-09-2005, 10:51:18
Seconded. I have no club skillz.

Lurker the Seconder
09-09-2005, 10:54:35
dammit too late

alsieboo
09-09-2005, 15:07:55
There's an article in this weeks 'New Woman' about online dating, they think it's a fabulous thing, and even report groups of women who stay in on a friday night, get some wine in and look through all these sites finding prospective parteners that way. Now that is sad.

King_Ghidra
09-09-2005, 15:33:02
sadder than going to a club and taking some doofus home and then regretting it?

i'll take the new woman option, at least there's some thought going on there, not a drunken stumble into the arms of a bald accountant from reading

Greg W
09-09-2005, 16:17:51
So internet dating is the new black...

fp
09-09-2005, 16:19:41
Does that mean that dating blacks is the new internet?

Greg W
09-09-2005, 16:20:58
:clueless:

Greg W
09-09-2005, 16:21:39
Hmm. After 5 bourbons, I am impressed that I can manage to type that properly. :beer:

Greg W
09-09-2005, 16:22:22
Mind you, I typed that properly too. Maybe I need to more drink. :beer: :beer: :beer:

Lazarus and the Gimp
09-09-2005, 16:47:59
Internet dating, in all its forms, is a godsend to people who aren't terribly confident in social situations, but are nice people who have no trouble expressing themselves in more relaxed settings. I know several people who really bloomed after they tried it.

The Norks
09-09-2005, 16:54:20
its not just for wallflowers though, you get every kind of person on there.

King_Ghidra
09-09-2005, 17:05:11
yes, teams of millionaire nymphomaniac supermodels in my experience

Lazarus and the Gimp
09-09-2005, 17:11:30
I have no experience of it. I started going out with Ms Gimp before I'd heard of the internet.

The Norks
09-09-2005, 18:15:04
I did actually go on a date with a millionaire I met on tinternet. He was an arrogant twat but his car was like the batmobile lol. Also an underwear model, and a guy who should have been a model (his identical twin was) because he was so HOT. Oh and a rather nice rugby player. People have all sorts of reasons, then again I use somewhere thats affiliated to a chat site so its not as date oriented as others. A lot I know just go there to chat and then they occasionally meet people, some are there literally to pull, some are trying to find people to fulfil fetishes, some are just bored, some are married and hoping to cheat, etc etc.

I think its a bit of a misconception that you must be shy to go on a website. I'm pretty damn far from shy, I just did it because a mate recommended it (also far from shy), I got curious, then I got sucked in and realised what a good way it is to filter out tossers, and at great speed check out loads more men than you could thru other means. I just don't seem to meet men thru work or friends very often and I'm not sure I want to date work colleagues anyway. I've also met up with some of the girls from the site and there are huge groups who meet up to go on the piss together, rather like here ;) its not for everyone tho.

Lazarus and the Gimp
09-09-2005, 19:17:42
It's a latex site, isn't it?

JM^3
09-09-2005, 19:38:22
I tried it once.. had nothing..

I think that I do even worse online then in RL

JM

Chris
09-09-2005, 19:43:31
If you meet over the net, does that mean you only get cybersex?

The Norks
09-09-2005, 19:46:59
Originally posted by Lazarus and the Gimp
It's a latex site, isn't it?

yes, I'm wearing my Catwoman outfit right now :D

Kitsuki
09-09-2005, 20:44:47
Originally posted by King_Ghidra


i'll take the new woman option, at least there's some thought going on there, not a drunken stumble into the arms of a bald accountant from reading

How often to you have a fumble with bald accountants...?