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JM^3
19-08-2005, 07:43:44
oner ofm y frinds had a bachrloe party

I didn't get invteid to the earlier party (the prick) but I did to the end

when a stripper shjowed up at my house

she was really hot.,. it was really hot

I feel a bit asheamed..





JM

JM^3
19-08-2005, 07:45:03
not about what I did...

but anout me have been tyhat cose to a naked fril before I Was that close to a nake girld that I lvoe

I would rather hjave been that lcose toa nake girl firt with someone I love

I wish my life wad idfettner

JM

mr.G
19-08-2005, 07:49:35
and did you had a drink?

JM^3
19-08-2005, 07:54:37
lots

IO didn't do that much

just lick whipcream off the strippers tit

but I still feal guilty

JM

Oerdin
19-08-2005, 07:56:55
We need to get you a girlfriend JM.

mr.G
19-08-2005, 07:57:46
did you had fun?

JM^3
19-08-2005, 08:21:05
I liked being as close Ias I Was to the firls tit

and I thought she was hot

but I din't thnk ti was true

so yes, I had some fuine, but I regret it

porn ther eis no possibility of being physicslallyt clsoe

JM

Beta1
19-08-2005, 08:35:31
Originally posted by JM^3

I wish my life wad idfettner



I got most of it except for this bit?

idfettner almost looks dutch?

Don't worry about the stripper. Noone is judging you.

mr.G
19-08-2005, 08:35:36
no regrets

Drekkus
19-08-2005, 09:00:44
je ne regrette rien

mr.G
19-08-2005, 09:01:12
poortvliet?

Drekkus
19-08-2005, 09:02:08
Gij kabouter

Gary
19-08-2005, 09:21:22
Originally posted by Beta1
Noone is judging you. Yes they are, the stripper marked you 4 out of 10, says you must lick harder next time :)

protein
19-08-2005, 09:26:52
JM, there's actually nothing to feel guilty about. Mainly because nobody got hurt, nobody got cheated on and because you followed the natural progression of sexual behaviour. Intimacy starts off as crude drunken fumblings with people you don't care about - and then you meet someone you can explore intimacy with properly.

JM^3
19-08-2005, 09:29:54
I don't want it to.

Remember, IA m a 24 year old virgin. Partially by choice.

JM

Oerdin
19-08-2005, 09:36:18
Then stop choosing to be a virgin and get it over with. ;)

The religious baggage doesn't help in the long run.

Nills Lagerbaak
19-08-2005, 09:43:52
I think you gotta work out which is causing you more grief. The thought of not living up to your standards or not getting on with th elife you'd like....

The Norks
19-08-2005, 10:18:06
I agree with Nills.

Its perfectly normal for a straight guy to be turned on by a naked woman. You didn't do anything wrong or touch her up when she didn't want you to. Being sexual with someone you love is a totally different kettle of fish to having a normal reaction to something visual thats being dangled in front of you- in that sense its no different to porn. What's to regret? That you weren't in love with her? You're human, you don't have to be in love with someone to be turned on.

Stop beating yourself up about this stuff and go out and find a girl you like.

Nills Lagerbaak
19-08-2005, 10:40:01
Also may I add, you said it yourself you're 24 years old. That's far too young to be giving yourself the (religious?) grief thing about sex! Like Norks said it's natural! Surely there are millions of more important things to be integral and decent about!

protein
19-08-2005, 11:02:59
Just another reason why religion fucks you up.

The reality is, sex is going to be a bit awkward and crap with the first two or three people. Either she won't come, it'll hurt, you won't get it up, you'll come too quickly, won't come at all or you just won't be sexually compatible. She might really like it hard while you talk filthy to her or she might like it if you are both completely quiet while you both try to get the terrible ordeal over with quickly.

If you save yourself for someone it is going to be a terrible dissapointment. The reality of it is that you have to try before you buy. Shop around. See what you like and don't like. Learn from experts, have experiences, awkward and exciting. Shag for six hours while on drugs. Shag a stranger in a carpark. It's all normal baby. You'll find out who and what is compatible with you.

novacane
19-08-2005, 11:24:34
Regrets?


Wot? :confused:

Gary
19-08-2005, 11:41:43
Regrets ? I've had a few, but there again, too few to mention :)

I don't know, poor ol' JM^3, riddled with 'guilt complex' and you lot have a go at him.
You'll live JM^3 ;) Give yourself a bit of time to get over it.

The Norks
19-08-2005, 11:59:48
we're not having a go, we're telling him he's normal, but he does have an awfully romanticised idea about what is essentially a pretty basic survival/pleasure act.

Nills Lagerbaak
19-08-2005, 12:03:25
Yeah, I used to think a bit like JM/10, but unfortunately due to the society we live in, there are not enough like minded people to not let it end up fucking you up in the 'ed.

Looking back on it, I now think it was pointless thinking like that. Your ideal girl is gonna be just that, not cos you've saved yourself for her or vice versa.....

Greg W
19-08-2005, 12:35:34
While I can see the romanticism behind waiting for the right person, in the end, you can't really know someone until you know them sexually. So how can you love them completely unless you know them sexually? Crossing the sex line opens up an entire new world of experiences, feelings and intimacy that I don't think you can experience by abstaining.

Unless you're talking "love" in terms of anything less than complete love (which I don't think you are, going by what you're saying)?

Waiting I respect as a show of character. But I disagree with it on almost every level. To each their own though. But this is a good pointer that your body will have urges, and you're going to have to learn to deal with them, in one way or another. And alcohol will lower the boundaries that you set yourself.

I feel for you, it's a hard road you've chosen for yourself.

Gramercy Riffs
19-08-2005, 12:47:35
The day you regret something is the day a little part of you dies.


Man

Nills Lagerbaak
19-08-2005, 12:51:17
Everytime you regret licking cream off a stripper, God kills a kitten. or something like that!

Greg W
19-08-2005, 12:53:22
:lol:

protein
19-08-2005, 14:27:46
:lol:

mr.G
19-08-2005, 16:12:42
:lol:

JM^3
19-08-2005, 16:17:13
I am just a romantic, I guess. Although I know that all you say is true (or often true), I wish it were different.

I wish to be different.

Jon Miller

mr.G
19-08-2005, 16:19:53
we are glad to know a JM.

Gramercy Riffs
19-08-2005, 16:27:55
Never wish to be different.

Greg W
19-08-2005, 16:29:17
Mate, I am such a romantic that sometimes I give myself flowers.* Unfortunately age and experience teaches you that realism intrudes somewhere. If you want to keep that ideal, good luck to you. But you'll have a bit more fun if you look for something middle of the road. Don't go out and sleep with 5 women a night or anything (or if you do, video it), but maybe relax the stance a little.

Good luck however you go. :beer:


*may not be entirely true, though the sentiment is

Nills Lagerbaak
19-08-2005, 16:32:29
Seriously you don't want to be romantic. You'll spend hours strolling through the woods looking at flowers and cute animals, maybe daring every once in a while to make what might be construed as a leud suggestion or innuendo.

When you finally get down to do it, you'll only find that she is wearing a chastidy belt the key to which only her father has. Imagine your dissapointment then.

King_Ghidra
19-08-2005, 16:33:33
you can be a romantic and still enjoy the sight of a fine stripper in action

i once ate a banana out of a stripper's pussy. it hasn't impaired my ability to be romantic, but it has given me a very amusing anecdote.

Greg W
19-08-2005, 16:35:01
Must be a first - a tuna flavoured banana...

mr.G
19-08-2005, 16:35:02
is that the KG_gherkin?

JM^3
19-08-2005, 16:42:44
oh, I enjoy (and have enjoyed) looking at the stripper

and don't feel bad about that

I mean, I have looked at porn for ages... no difference there

but there is a difference between looking and doing

Jon Miller

Greg W
19-08-2005, 16:52:22
Yeah, but it's not like you gave her the one eyed mutton gun, you only licked her breast.

The Norks
19-08-2005, 17:04:25
Originally posted by King_Ghidra
you can be a romantic and still enjoy the sight of a fine stripper in action

i once ate a banana out of a stripper's pussy. it hasn't impaired my ability to be romantic, but it has given me a very amusing anecdote.

:vom:

Seriously Jon, if you want to pursue abstinence until marriage then do it, but make sure you really want that. It doesn't sound like you do or you wouldn't be so conflicted about it.

Rumour has it my Dad waited till he was married, and that was when he was 31! I think if its what you want it can make you happy, but I've always thought it was a bit pointless- sex isn't sinful or bad, its great and fun and doesn't have to be equated with love all the time.

If God made man in his own image he's probably tossing off on someone's tits right now, sparking up a Marlboro and laughing at all you abstainers ;)

Nills Lagerbaak
19-08-2005, 17:06:10
Or eating a bannana out of some angel-whore's pussy.

protein
19-08-2005, 17:07:44
Originally posted by Greg W
Yeah, but it's not like you gave her the one eyed mutton gun, you only licked her breast.
Yup. We've all licked milk off our mum's teats. It's not exactly filthy love action.

Well, I suppose it is. I don't know anymore. I'm tired.

The Norks
19-08-2005, 17:12:01
he licked her tit?

King_Ghidra
19-08-2005, 17:12:23
:lol:@protein

JM^3
19-08-2005, 17:14:32
I don't think that sex is sinful or bad

whereever do people get that idea.. (it is in general what all sorts of people say when I express my intention to wait for love)

I do think that it is linked with love (you can kill that link.. or weaken it, but it still still there)

while licking her tit is the most exciting thing I have done, it would have been a lot more exciting if I actually liked her

and I am not for sure waiting until marriage, I am definitely waiting to fall in love though

Jon Miller

Nills Lagerbaak
19-08-2005, 17:15:37
licked or liked? I don't c any difference.......

The Norks
19-08-2005, 17:19:22
well thats healthy, but dont get too hung up on it. very few people stay with the person they first love or have sex with.

protein
19-08-2005, 17:20:18
Oh god, don't wait for love!

I don't know what you think love is but it is partially based on sexual compatibility.

Greg W
19-08-2005, 17:20:59
And you'll also discover that there's degrees of being in love. Just which degree you wait for can make a big difference.

Nills Lagerbaak
19-08-2005, 17:23:41
Oh, we've forgotten the whole falling in "love" with your first shag! Very very dangerous that is.....


Now, more tea ladies?

Greg W
19-08-2005, 17:25:11
Yep, that accounted for my first marriage. :nervous:

JM^3
19-08-2005, 17:25:34
well, a number of you know my dating issues

and I agree that love is partially based on sexual compatibility, that is why I don't think that homosexuals can be happy in heterosexual relatinoships (similiarly I don't think that heterosexuals can be happy in homosexual relationships)

Jon Miller

Greg W
19-08-2005, 17:27:04
And the second... :nervous:

JM^3
19-08-2005, 17:29:22
sex strengthens emotional bonds

if you don't divorce it from this link (by engaging in sex with mates you don't love) (And as I said, even people who have engaged in a lot of sex with random people still probably have some link, it is weaker though) it can strengthen relationships with people you do love

Jon Miller

The Norks
19-08-2005, 17:36:49
Originally posted by JM^3
sex strengthens emotional bonds

if you don't divorce it from this link (by engaging in sex with mates you don't love) (And as I said, even people who have engaged in a lot of sex with random people still probably have some link, it is weaker though) it can strengthen relationships with people you do love

Jon Miller

not necessarily. A lot of people who love each other aren't sexually compatible. Marriages fall apart all the time because sex becomes a very divisive issue.

Sex isn't some wonderful soft focus love experience on a bed of marshmallowy pillows, its a sweaty, grunting mish mash of limbs and body fluids, which sometimes works and sometimes dies on its arse. I've never seen it as related to romance or love, its two (or more)people trying to flood their systems with feelgood chemicals and perhaps hoping at a biological level to get one in the back of the net. Its great if you can do it with someone you love, but if not, its great anyway.

JM^3
19-08-2005, 17:38:12
I fundamentally disagree with you on this.

Jon Miller
(and many other things)

JM^3
19-08-2005, 17:39:40
to put it otherwise

that might be the world you live in

but it isn't the one I do

and I would not want to live in that world

JM
(And I hope that I am not alone in my world)

The Norks
19-08-2005, 17:43:43
Hmm, well given that one of us has a 12 year sexual CV and one of us is theorising based on religious beliefs, I think you're going to be sorely disappointed if you expect the soft focus scenario.

JM^3
19-08-2005, 17:45:16
it is not just religious beleifs..

althuogh I do have those

it is also that I am a romantic, and an idealist

JM

The Norks
19-08-2005, 17:49:12
yes, and those are the kind of people that tend to get a sharp shock when confronted with the reality. I used to be like you are where sex is concerned, and I realised that there is no 'right' person to have sex with, its just a physical act, it takes practise and experience, and you'll encounter all sorts of mishaps, wrong people and hiccups on the way. I'm still a romantic, but like K_G, that doesn't stop me being sexual too, and I see the two as very separable, although its nice if they can be combined.

Beta1
19-08-2005, 17:57:11
just to clarify - grunting is optional.

But if anyone knows where you can get marshmallowy pillows from let me know.

I'm sick to death with the ones that go lumpy after a while.

protein
19-08-2005, 18:02:24
Yup. You might have the wrong idea about sex. Norks is right. At it's best, sex is a sweaty sticky moaning animalistic pleasure.

JM^3
19-08-2005, 18:07:56
it doesn't matter

as I said, I would sooner live in my own world, by myself

then live in the one you have described

JM
(call me delusional if you want..)

The Norks
19-08-2005, 18:23:12
I thinks its bizarre to shut yourself away from reality and pretend your own little world exists if it doesnt, but i hope you and your right hand are very happy together :D what you're saying is a bit like not wanting to ride a bike because a bike cant fly. Well it cant, but it can do wheelies and go fucking fast down hills, and you never know, you might just enjoy it!

JM^3
19-08-2005, 18:33:08
no

I am saying that I beleive that the world works the way I say it does..

JM

The Norks
19-08-2005, 18:36:48
which is how exactly?

protein
19-08-2005, 18:41:58
I don't get it.

You want to live in a world where virgin men and virgin women meet, fall in "love", get married and then randomly discover that thankfully they are good at fucking each other?

That sounds like a Victorian nightmare. I prefer the real world where people fuck, fall in love and then live together.

The Norks
19-08-2005, 18:45:14
or sometimes dont fall in love and live together.

Fistandantilus
19-08-2005, 18:49:09
Originally posted by protein
[B]... virgin men and virgin women meet, fall in "love", get married and then randomly discover that thankfully they are good at fucking each other?


Actually that's what happened to me :nervous:

Except for the married part that is :p

Oerdin
19-08-2005, 18:53:52
Originally posted by JM^3
I am just a romantic, I guess. Although I know that all you say is true (or often true), I wish it were different.

I wish to be different.

Jon Miller

Then you're wishing you weren't human. Sorry mate but that's just life. As a man, licking cream off of naked girls breasts is going to turn you on. ;)

Beta1
19-08-2005, 18:57:56
unless you're asher.

Oerdin
19-08-2005, 19:00:13
Originally posted by JM^3
I fundamentally disagree with you on this.

Jon Miller
(and many other things)

I have to say she's right. Sex often becomes a huge issue which drives a wedge between couples. Ask any marrital/relationship councilor and they'll tell you the same. Sexual compatability plays a significant role.

Beta1
19-08-2005, 19:01:30
i think there is one thing we can all agree on.

Jon, go out there and meet people.

Then do whatever the hell feels right for you.

Oerdin
19-08-2005, 19:05:37
Originally posted by JM^3

it is also that I am a romantic, and an idealist

JM

You an still be a romantic though it helps to have a dash of realism thrown in there. Look on the bright side; 9 times out of 10 it will be her laying in the wet spot. ;)

Oerdin
19-08-2005, 19:10:29
Originally posted by The Norks
or sometimes dont fall in love and live together.

But only if the sex is really good or they're in financial need. ;) :p

The Norks
19-08-2005, 19:59:02
hell, I'm a romantic, I hope I'll find a soulmate one day and get sprogged up and all that, but in the meantime I hope I'm going to have the kind of sex that will get you deported from any civilised country :D

DevilsH@lo
19-08-2005, 20:19:53
Originally posted by The Norks
or sometimes dont fall in love and live together.

^That aimed at me??

Originally posted by The Norks
hell, I'm a romantic, I hope I'll find a soulmate one day and get sprogged up and all that, but in the meantime I hope I'm going to have the kind of sex that will get you deported from any civilised country.
:eek: :hmm:

Slight change of tune on the kids front then.

The Norks
19-08-2005, 20:26:02
[QUOTE]Originally posted by DevilsH@lo
[B]^That aimed at me??

Why would it be, since we did live together? I was making the point that some people just shag and take it no further, and that its acceptable to do that.

Fistandantilus
19-08-2005, 23:44:40
Ahhhh I read that as
1) people fuck
2) don't fall in love
3) live together

I didn't get the 'not' applied to the 'and' part of the sentence too :nervous:

Oerdin
20-08-2005, 00:31:56
Originally posted by The Norks
hell, I'm a romantic, I hope I'll find a soulmate one day and get sprogged up and all that, but in the meantime I hope I'm going to have the kind of sex that will get you deported from any civilised country :D

Mean the type that happens in public where everyone can see you?

The Norks
20-08-2005, 12:35:44
Originally posted by Fistandantilus
Ahhhh I read that as
1) people fuck
2) don't fall in love
3) live together

I didn't get the 'not' applied to the 'and' part of the sentence too :nervous:

the joy of internet

The Norks
20-08-2005, 12:36:22
Originally posted by Oerdin
Mean the type that happens in public where everyone can see you?

with a donkey for added kick

Greg W
20-08-2005, 13:09:08
:hmm:

lightblue
20-08-2005, 13:15:59
From what I've seen of your postings here and on poly i think you won't find someone to live if everytime you go out you get as parlytic as you get. I've got a friend like you, total alcoholic, always gets drunk, always whines to me about not getting a gf. Then when we manage to drag him away from the booze for a few weeks he starts going out with girls and all goes well, and then the slightest thing pushes him him back into boozefest and that usually signals the end of any relationship.

Greg W
20-08-2005, 14:57:53
Yes, drinking a lot will kill a lot of your attractiveness to women.

One thing too Jon. I know it sounds like everyone is being very negative. That's not the aim. There is definately a place in the world for romance. Hell, I am a big romantic. Let me tell you a little story...

I had been going out with my ex for a few years, and we were living together, and all that that implies. Without her knowledge I arranged with her work for her to have a 4 day weekend. On the friday morning she woke up as normal to get ready to go to work. And being a friday, she was grumbling about not wanting to go to work.

So I just casually said "Well, don't". She humphed, and went in to take a shower. When she got out she noticed me not getting out of bed and started hassling me. And I just replied "Nah, you inspired me to have a day off. Tell you what, why don't we just have a long weekend."

At which point I told her that I had arranged with her work to have the time off, said there was a taxi arriving in 45 mins to take us to the airport, so she better pack quickly. Didn't explain where we were going though. ;)

Of course when I told her all she needed to pack was a bikini, shorts and a t-shirt she got very intrigued. So, took her to the airport, still not telling her where we were going, though she had some idea. She even rang work cos she couldn't believe that I had organised it. :D

Flew her to Hamilton Island (it's a tropical island in the Whitsundays) for a 4 day weekend of sloth and luxury. Took her to all the nice restaurants, went out snorkelling on the Great Barrier Reef, and vbasically gave her a great weekend.

On the last night I took her to the best restaurant on the Island, then while we walked along the beach under the moonlight, I pulled out a ring and proposed.

There is a place for Romance in this world. And sometimes, making love with someone that you love can be a lot more intense than having sex with a stranger, whatever those naysayers say. Not all the time though, it's got to be a special occasion, or a special mood. Day to day however, routine sets in, and it's just sex. Most of the time anyway.

But all I can say is that you need to experience a bit of what it means to be in a relationship before you go making huge decisions like not having sex before you love someone. Go into a relationship with that preconcieved, and you will generally be disappointed. Go in with an open mind, and don't preconcieve what's going to happen, and just go with the flow. Do what feels right at the time, don't decide now what feels right, cos you won't know until you get there.

And if you've made it through all that, you deserve a medal. :)

Summary
Chill, don't preconcieve notions about what will happen, and don't get smashed all the time. And don't give up on Romance alltogether. :)

The Norks
20-08-2005, 15:54:14
well the weekend that DH and I met was very romantic. I never usually shag someone immediately, but we just fell for each other straight away, in all ways, and we ended up spending the whole weekend together and stayed together for 2 and a half years. I don't think we'd have made things any different by waiting to sleep together. It was the right thing to do in the moment. Sex can be romantic, but it doesn't have to be, and usually its not romantic but physical, even with someone you love, which is why I say don't get hung up on it.

JM^3
20-08-2005, 17:24:09
as far as drinking goes..

I don't get drunk as often as it might appear online

a bigger problem is leaving the house, I think (video games!)

JM

JM^3
20-08-2005, 17:27:23
I am not saying that every time has to be super romantic

I am just saying that sex is not (or never has to be) just physical pleasure

whether it is emotional intamcy with a long time love, or a romantic get away, it is all something more then just pleasure

JM

The Norks
20-08-2005, 19:41:50
I think thats the voice of inexperience talking JM.

JM^3
20-08-2005, 20:02:14
I disagree

I think, and hope, that I will remain an idealist all my life

JM

The Norks
20-08-2005, 20:43:44
ok, well I believe the moon is made of cheese

JM^3
20-08-2005, 20:48:54
does that make you happier?

does that make the world better for you?

JM

JM^3
20-08-2005, 20:50:28
Is there no more room in this world for idealists? For romantics?

Jon Miller

The Norks
20-08-2005, 21:11:21
JM the thing about idealism is that it isnt realism, in fact its usually far from it, and a few people have said in this thread that your view isn't realistic for various reasons. Usually idealists are protecting themselves from reality and screwing up their lives into the bargain because they won't back down from something everyone else accepted long ago. There's nothing wrong with hoping for ideals, or something near to ideals, but you also have to accept (hopefully) that reality is often far from your ideals. But the scary and yet fun thing about reality is that its often better than ideals, because they are just 2 dimensional fantasies and reality throws things at you that you don't expect.

And yes that does make the world better for me, because I won't be constantly finding that things don't live up to my high hopes, but I will be pleasantly surprised by the great things that happen when least expected.

As we've already established, you can be both romantic and realistic.

Join us...

JM^3
20-08-2005, 21:53:48
no

having a weekend out can be romantic, I agree

but I am talking about a lifestyle, a way of viewing the world, a philosophy if you will

and ideals are not neccesarily two dimensional

the world is shaped by idealists.. realists just react to the flow

Jon Miller
(why do I have the disturbing feeling that I am Luke?)

mr.G
20-08-2005, 22:02:56
JM................................................ .......................................... come to the dark side

lightblue
20-08-2005, 22:21:35
I agree with JM. I don't have sex just for fucking's sake. I wait until I find someone I truly love, and am lucky I ahve found someone like that. That said, it was only after some unfortunate experiences that i got this way.

Greg W
21-08-2005, 03:34:41
Originally posted by JM^3
Is there no more room in this world for idealists? For romantics?

Jon Miller There is. But when you combine the two, you have to get very lucky to find what you want. Which means being lonely a lot.

It's your call dude, nobody can force anything on you. I am an idealist at heart, and a romantic. But, I also realise that the time it takes to get to know someone well enough to truly love them is not an inconsequential amount of time. Seriously, if you think you can truly, deeply love someone in less than 6 months of seeing them a couple of times a week, well, you're falling in love far too easily.

And in the end, having sex or making love with someone that you like, or have the basic stirrings of love for can show you sides of them that you won't see otherwise. It's a part of exploring a relationship that IMHO there's no reason to put off until you truly love them. It brings a whole level of intimacy and trust to the relationship.

But, IMHO, the biggest problem is your pre-conceived plan to not have sex with anyone until you love them. As I said, don't go into anything with any pre-conceived idea of what you expect. From memory you haven't actually (seriously) dated a girl, have you? So you're basing your pre-conceived notions on what, an ideal? Go out there, try dating a few girls with no notion of what's going to happen. Don't expect sex, and don't not expect sex. Just go with what feels right at the time. If you don't feel like having sex with her, then don't. But decide that then, not now.

Beta1
21-08-2005, 08:50:56
Originally posted by Greg W
Go out there, try dating a few girls with no notion of what's going to happen. Don't expect sex, and don't not expect sex. Just go with what feels right at the time. If you don't feel like having sex with her, then don't. But decide that then, not now.

^ good advice

JM^3
22-08-2005, 03:06:59
well, I can tell you what would happen if I went arround with that view point

I would have sex with the first girl who wanted to with me..

that is the point, you have to make decisions before hand, cause hormones will guide you in a single direction...

Jon Miller

Beta1
22-08-2005, 08:23:28
hormones are your friends

But more seriously, no you don't have to make decisions before hand. Assuming you have somekind of control over your actions you don't have to sleep with anybody or everybody.

Just don't start out from the position that your definately not going to.

protein
22-08-2005, 08:33:51
Originally posted by JM^3
I would have sex with the first girl who wanted to with me..

That would be a good thing. You want to learn the ropes somehow.

Do what I did, get a teenage bisexual nympho chick to teach you all the tricks you need and then try them out. You need a yoda to teach you the way of the multiple orgasm.

You need some training in how to operate a PC before you get an IT job. You don't want to have signed a 12 month contract and then realise you don't know how to open the disk drive or to discover that you prefer macs.

JM^3
22-08-2005, 08:44:57
not romantic at all

JM

Gary
22-08-2005, 09:09:09
Protein, could you send me a teenage bisexual nympho chick please ? Thanks.

Lurker the Second
22-08-2005, 13:54:53
[i]
discover that you prefer macs. [/B]

That's what happened to Asher, isn't it?

Greg W
22-08-2005, 14:08:38
Originally posted by JM^3
well, I can tell you what would happen if I went arround with that view point

I would have sex with the first girl who wanted to with me..

that is the point, you have to make decisions before hand, cause hormones will guide you in a single direction...

Jon Miller So, tell me, if you have that little faith in yourself, what makes you think that when you start dating a girl, and start liking her, that you're not going to end up in bed with her the first time she does anything to suggest she wants you?

If you have that little self control, you're going to end up sleeping with her anyway, and then feel 10x as guilty as you should, cos you were trying not to sleep with her.

Either grow some self control, or give into the inevitable. If you truly want to wait, you'll be able to stop sleeping with anyone you want.

JM^3
22-08-2005, 15:14:42
lol, now I have little self control

what I am saying is that I want to have sex, I have 14 or so years of frustrated sex drive behind me

if I do everything with an attitude of what ever happens happens, then of course I am going to have sex with a girl

and likely before I am in love with her

if you go out with the attitude of what happens, happens

what stops you from having sex with different people?

I do have faith with myself in that I have faith in me going by what I have decided, on the other hand, if I haven't decided anything, what is there to have faith in?

tell me this.. if you aren't waiting for love, why wouldn't you have sex with the first girl who comes along?

basically I don't understand your position at all Greg

Jon Miller

The Norks
22-08-2005, 15:19:19
you don't need to love everyone you sleep with. You've got 14 years of missed opportunities and fun. The world won't implode if you have casual sex, or even sex with someone you like but don't love. I wouldn't have sex with a random stranger, but I wouldn't expect to love someone until I knew them properly and sex is a big part of that.

Still, its your life and if thats your choice, then good luck :)

Greg W
22-08-2005, 15:37:28
Originally posted by JM^3
if you go out with the attitude of what happens, happens

what stops you from having sex with different people? Nothing, but then I realise that sex is just sex, and part of any normal relationship. If a nice girl wants to have sex with me, then why not, as long as we're both single and consenting?
Originally posted by JM^3
I do have faith with myself in that I have faith in me going by what I have decided, on the other hand, if I haven't decided anything, what is there to have faith in?

tell me this.. if you aren't waiting for love, why wouldn't you have sex with the first girl who comes along?

basically I don't understand your position at all Greg

Jon Miller
Being a romantic person doesn't make me incapable of having sex with someone that I don't love. Sex and romanticism aren't intrinsically linked for most people. Yes, sex with someone that you love can occasionally be far more intense than sex with someone that you like. But that's not being romantic, that's just love for you.

All I am suggesting is that you haven't dated girls yet, have you? So you don't really know what you're missing. I just don't see how you can make a decision like that with nothing to base it on? All I am trying to suggest is get out there and try things. If you get halfway through a date, and decide that it all feels wrong, then back out. I dunno, I just get the feeling you're cutting yourself off from a lot of options, and not trying to find out what's out there. Being a romantic shouldn't stop you going out there and seeing what you liek and don't like, regardless of whether you have sex or not.

JM^3
22-08-2005, 16:42:38
Originally posted by Greg W
Nothing, but then I realise that sex is just sex, and part of any normal relationship. If a nice girl wants to have sex with me, then why not, as long as we're both single and consenting?

so why tell me that I have no self control?

it is the same thing as you would do...

I do have self control, but it is the choices I make

in the vacuum of no choices, there is nothing to control...

JM

JM^3
22-08-2005, 16:46:31
Originally posted by Greg W

Being a romantic person doesn't make me incapable of having sex with someone that I don't love. Sex and romanticism aren't intrinsically linked for most people. Yes, sex with someone that you love can occasionally be far more intense than sex with someone that you like. But that's not being romantic, that's just love for you.

All I am suggesting is that you haven't dated girls yet, have you? So you don't really know what you're missing. I just don't see how you can make a decision like that with nothing to base it on? All I am trying to suggest is get out there and try things. If you get halfway through a date, and decide that it all feels wrong, then back out. I dunno, I just get the feeling you're cutting yourself off from a lot of options, and not trying to find out what's out there. Being a romantic shouldn't stop you going out there and seeing what you liek and don't like, regardless of whether you have sex or not. [/B]

I think that they are linked for most people, it is just that a lot of people have done a good job of killing it

I know plenty of people who can't help but start having feelings for people they are fucking, although they initially had no intentions of having feelings for that person

it seems to me to be blind and self-delusional to say that there is no connection

there is a reason why sex generally stays between (semi) monogamous partners.. and it isn't because of society (There have been societies that tried to kill monogamy, it always came back)

I mean, if sex is just pleasure, why not get a prostitute if you are not dating anyone?

life as a sentient is about making choices, if you just respond without thinking things through ahead of time you might as well just be an animal

Jon Miller

Beta1
22-08-2005, 16:52:09
Originally posted by JM^3


if you go out with the attitude of what happens, happens

what stops you from having sex with different people?


Knowing my girlfriend would kill me!

(just joking if she's reading this!)

:nervous:

Funko
22-08-2005, 16:55:48
It seems to me that basically what this comes down to is that Jon wants to be emotionally involved with someone before he sleeps with them.

I don't know what's wrong with that. Fair play to him. You don't need to be involved emotionally to have sex but if that's what you choose then I think that's a perfectly sensible choice to make, sex can have emotional and physical consequences so why not just do it with someone you are involved with?


And no-one knows what sex is like before they have it.

What he needs to be doing, as a few people said, is getting out there and meeting girls he can get emotionally involved with because you don't meet people stuck at home playing games all day.

Although you might meet them on a message board! :lol:

Beta1
22-08-2005, 16:57:34
But more seriously, your defining being sentient as making decisions not do to something you want to do?


tell me this.. if you aren't waiting for love, why wouldn't you have sex with the first girl who comes along?

basically I don't understand your position at all Greg


Well apart from Greg being a balding accountant from reading :p

Why shouldn't he. If he wants her and vice versa wheres the problem.

Alternatively if he doesn't want to then why should he.

If your making a point of denying your animal urges to prove your more evolved than greg, well he's and aussie - you don't need to prove it :p

but theres really no point in doing it to prove that your sentient.

Beta1
22-08-2005, 16:58:17
Originally posted by Funko


Although you might meet them on a message board! :lol:


Well that would be a good way of stopping him sleeping with her first.

Funko
22-08-2005, 16:58:43
He could type her off.

JM^3
22-08-2005, 17:04:07
Originally posted by Beta1
But more seriously, your defining being sentient as making decisions not do to something you want to do?



Well apart from Greg being a balding accountant from reading :p

Why shouldn't he. If he wants her and vice versa wheres the problem.

Alternatively if he doesn't want to then why should he.

If your making a point of denying your animal urges to prove your more evolved than greg, well he's and aussie - you don't need to prove it :p

but theres really no point in doing it to prove that your sentient.

no, I am saying that being sentient is making decisions before hand, in anything you do... (instead of just being tossed about by your hormones and what have you)

and that was my point, he was saying that I must think myself as having no self control because of my beleif that if I just went arround without making a decision before hand my decision would be made for itself, but he (and anyone else) would do the same

now I don't make decisions before hand about everything, and I change my mind at times

and I make mistakes (which I knew better, and decided against)

but still, I try to have control over my life

Jon Miller

Greg W
23-08-2005, 02:52:20
I don't think you'r egetting me at all Jon.

If I made a decision to not sleep with girls, and yet went out and dated them, then I wouldn't sleep with them. Thus, self control. But I sure would at least get out there and try and date them. Cos you aren't going to start having feelings for a girl until you get out there and try.

As for Funko, I don't think he quite got it right. Either that or you didn't explain it well. Do you want to have some feelings for a gilr that you have sex with, or do you want to be in love with her? There's a big difference. If the former, then I have no problems with that decision.

Heck, I don't go out screwing random women for the hell of it, there has to be some level of like for them, even if it's only lust. And even if a girl is hot as, if she's a nagging bitch, I'll run.

However, if you insist on being in love with them, that's an entire different ballgame, and I think the one that most of us are trying to dissuade you from. And we're not trying to be harsh on you, just trying to help you. Mainly cos you don't understand these things. How could you, you haven't dated seriously, and you haven't had sex. Yes, it's a nice dream, but it's impractical, and as most people here are trying to say, very hard to live with.

That's all.

So, if you want to like a girl before you sleep with her, good for you. If you want to be head over heels in love...well...good luck with it. It's a very difficult road you have chosen for yourself.

And the crap about making decisions beforehand and sentient. Sorry, but that's just sophistry. If I truly gave in to my hormones, I wouldn't have gone 17 years without ever having cheated on a girl, and there have been opportunities. There's a balance that can be reached, and your mind can overcome your body's urges.

Gary
23-08-2005, 07:50:34
The trouble with 'love' is that everyone seems to have a different inadequate definition for the word.

A fellow that distinguishes between good feelings for a girl and love eh ? Best of luck.

IMO those good feelings are one constituent part of love. As is lust for that matter, at least for the blend of love concerned with choosing a sexually attractive partner, but perhaps less important in the blend that goes to describe what you feel for your granny :).

The Norks
23-08-2005, 08:42:34
As Howard Jones sagely asked, 'what is looooooooooove anyway? Can anybody love anybody anyway?'

Gary
23-08-2005, 08:45:16
Wasn't that role played by Renée Zellweger ?

Nills Lagerbaak
23-08-2005, 09:06:41
Norks, as the mighty foreigner once sang....

"I wanna know what love iiiiiiiiissssss!! I want you to show me!"

Beta1
23-08-2005, 09:17:42
Norks and Nills sitting in a tree K.I.S.S.I.N.G!

:p

protein
23-08-2005, 10:48:53
As Haddaway once put:

"What is love? Baby don't hurt me. Don't hurt me. No more."

protein
23-08-2005, 10:49:41
As Tina Turner brilliantly put:

"What's love got to do, got to do with it"

mr.G
23-08-2005, 11:00:17
and Mick Jagger once put it:

"hello can i have a sandwich pleezzzz"

protein
23-08-2005, 11:02:55
As the Murdurdolls once poignantly put:

"Let's fuck! (Oh, he's bad).
Let's fuck! (Oh, yes I want it).
Let's fuck! (Oh, yeah).
Let's fuck! (Ohhhhh)

Let's fuck you fucking whore.
Let's fuck you fucking whore.
Let's fuck and fuck and fuck and fuck and fuck and fuck some more!

Let's fuck!
Let's fuck!
Let's fuck!
Let's fuck!

Let's fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!

I wanna' fuck!"

Nills Lagerbaak
23-08-2005, 11:08:32
As Easy-E once said. !It's about fucking this bitch and that bitch! But not the bitch with the seven day itch"

mr.G
23-08-2005, 11:18:21
Originally posted by protein
As the Murdurdolls once poignantly put:

"Let's fuck! (Oh, he's bad).
Let's fuck! (Oh, yes I want it).
Let's fuck! (Oh, yeah).
Let's fuck! (Ohhhhh)

Let's fuck you fucking whore.
Let's fuck you fucking whore.
Let's fuck and fuck and fuck and fuck and fuck and fuck some more!

Let's fuck!
Let's fuck!
Let's fuck!
Let's fuck!

Let's fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!

I wanna' fuck!"

wow, how romantic.
I'm gonna use this lyric on a first date someday

Gary
23-08-2005, 11:21:09
You sing on a first date ! :eek:

mr.G
23-08-2005, 11:24:33
jesjes i am a romantic

Nills Lagerbaak
23-08-2005, 11:25:12
#Not only that, but I hear he plays the pink oboe on the first date too....

Drekkus
23-08-2005, 12:05:37
Play the pink oboe?

mr.G
23-08-2005, 12:13:51
http://www.monkeychops.karoo.net/b3ta/pics/pinkoboe.jpg

Nills Lagerbaak
23-08-2005, 12:18:57
:lol: That's great. And nun more appropriate!

protein
23-08-2005, 12:34:37
I bet that band are tight.

Provost Harrison
23-08-2005, 12:46:18
:lol:

Drekkus
23-08-2005, 12:50:41
Is it a blowjob reference?

KrazyHorse
23-08-2005, 13:04:22
:lol:

Nills Lagerbaak
23-08-2005, 13:11:55
:lol: :lol:

MDA
23-08-2005, 13:32:00
Just when I thought there was not hope for this thread. :lol:

Drekkus
23-08-2005, 13:37:03
Is it?

mr.G
23-08-2005, 13:38:24
always keep the faith......

can't wait for the summer clothes / winter clothes change

mr.G
23-08-2005, 13:39:23
Originally posted by Drekkus
Is it? jesjes

Drekkus
23-08-2005, 13:43:56
So Nills is gay?

mr.G
23-08-2005, 13:44:50
D'oh

Nills and Funko sitting in a bar k.i.s.s.i.n.g.

Gary
23-08-2005, 14:12:07
If in doubt, Google supplies (http://www.sex-lexis.com/Sex-Dictionary/pink%20oboe)

King_Ghidra
23-08-2005, 14:20:34
oh yeah, that looks reeeeeal work-safe

Gary
23-08-2005, 17:05:55
It's just a dictionary :D