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Tizzy
10-08-2005, 13:50:10
In a poll of 2000 people by DIY accessory firm 3M, almost two thirds of women said that a man's attitude to home improvement reflected their approach to sex.

http://newsvote.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4134074.stm

Drekkus
10-08-2005, 13:52:18
They wank more if they DIY a lot?

Funko
10-08-2005, 13:58:16
Shit, my attitude to DIY is - pay a workman to do it! :eek:

JM^3
10-08-2005, 13:59:05
yeah, I have my freinds do it

JM

MoSe
10-08-2005, 14:02:30
you pay someone else yourself :)

King_Ghidra
10-08-2005, 14:12:01
i'm a lover, not a builder

Drekkus
10-08-2005, 14:12:24
Originally posted by Funko
Shit, my attitude to DIY is - pay a workman to do it! :eek: Mine is - I'll do it later, and when I do I suck.

Tizzy
10-08-2005, 14:13:26
:lol:

Funko
10-08-2005, 14:17:28
:lol:

Japher
10-08-2005, 14:17:29
I'll do it, but I usually get hurt and it almost always costs more than it should.

MoSe
10-08-2005, 14:20:30
Originally posted by King_Ghidra
i'm a lover, not a builder
you prefer to love yourself up rather than to build yourself up

Funko
10-08-2005, 14:24:23
Lazarus and the Gimp uses any tool no matter how unsuitable it might be for the job and causes widespread damage to his house.

Venom
10-08-2005, 14:33:32
DIY labor is what God made Mexicans for.

Gary
10-08-2005, 14:53:56
Accidents happen at all work places, it's not just DIY specific. Of course, untrained / learning folk are bound to be more at risk especially since you can't control the type of fool that has a bash, literally.

(Mind you, in my experience it's when you start to bash things, having tried everything else and failed to shift it, that something actually works !)

Anyway girlies, I'm in the midst of ripping out and redoing 2 kitchens at the moment, one of the houses having a complete 're-do' gradually. :D

Cruddy
10-08-2005, 17:49:31
Strange - I've heard most men's attitude to sex is the same as their attitude to hoovering.

They plug in, wiggle about for a few minutes, then collapse on the sofa.

Gary
10-08-2005, 17:57:24
But the wife's just happy that they tried :)

The Norks
10-08-2005, 18:33:11
hmm....I might post an advert in the newspaper:

Handyman wanted-must like to take his time & do things thoroughly, seeking to satisfy at all times. Big hammer, lots of powertools and ability to work all day an advantage.

Cruddy
10-08-2005, 18:41:28
Also tongue length longer than 4 inches?

EDIT: I always thought dolphins would make ideal lovers. They're friendly, intelligent, love the taste of tuna and breathe through the top of their heads.

Immortal Wombat
10-08-2005, 19:40:09
... and have foot long penises shaped like corkscrews, which when they ejaculate are likely to rupture several internal organs.

mr.G
10-08-2005, 20:41:53
Originally posted by Cruddy
Also tongue length longer than 4 inches?

EDIT: I always thought dolphins would make ideal lovers. They're friendly, intelligent, love the taste of tuna and breathe through the top of their heads. :lol:

MOBIUS
10-08-2005, 20:44:34
I'm very good at DIY, but I'm not very adventurous - shelves, painting and putting together IKEA furniture is about my limit...:cute:

Alexander's Horse
10-08-2005, 23:00:02
I start DIY jobs and let Mrs Horse finish them.

BigGameHunter
10-08-2005, 23:12:15
I'm always willing to have a go at it, but it's usually shoddy work.

Provost Harrison
11-08-2005, 00:07:52
Originally posted by MOBIUS
I'm very good at DIY, but I'm not very adventurous - shelves, painting and putting together IKEA furniture is about my limit...:cute:

I am a dab hand at DIY but due to the fact I rent my place, I don't get to do any :D

The Norks
11-08-2005, 01:00:52
Originally posted by Cruddy
Also tongue length longer than 4 inches?

EDIT: I always thought dolphins would make ideal lovers. They're friendly, intelligent, love the taste of tuna and breathe through the top of their heads.

seriously- if your girlfriend smells of tuna, you want to send her down the VD clinic

Cruddy
11-08-2005, 01:51:24
It's OK Norks, I haven't got any taste buds anyway.

Diss
11-08-2005, 05:45:21
you can improve your home?

I live in a trailer, so that's not really true. It cannot be improved any more than it already is.

In any case, my dad was a finish carpenter. It's safe to say I know my way around tools (I worked with my dad many times). I just don't care for that sort of work.

King_Ghidra
11-08-2005, 09:01:41
Originally posted by Cruddy
It's OK Norks, I haven't got any taste buds anyway.

or a girlfriend

MoSe
11-08-2005, 09:54:09
Originally posted by Diss
I live in a trailer, so that's not really true. It cannot be improved any more than it already is.

Isn't there a "Pimp my Trailer" MTV show?

Diss
11-08-2005, 22:54:39
I wouldn't know. I haven't watched MTV in years.

Ever since they cancelled beavis and butthead. Those bastards!

Oerdin
11-08-2005, 23:09:11
There was a time from about 1992 to 1995 when there was no show better then Beavis and Butthead. - FACT!

Provost Harrison
11-08-2005, 23:10:58
Originally posted by Diss
you can improve your home?

I live in a trailer, so that's not really true. It cannot be improved any more than it already is.

In any case, my dad was a finish carpenter. It's safe to say I know my way around tools (I worked with my dad many times). I just don't care for that sort of work.

Aha, you've finally admitted you are trailer trash :p

And what part of Finland is your dad from?

Diss
11-08-2005, 23:22:04
actually it's not a trailer, but a manufactured home. It doesn't sit on wheels. And it's a double wide.

And really, as cheaply as they are building homes in the city where I live, living in a manufactured home isn't so bad. There are so many class action lawsuits filed for construction defects in my town. Most of them for windows that leak. We live in the 21st century, and they still can't build a home where the windows don't leak. And it doesn't even rain that hard or often where I live.

Provost Harrison
11-08-2005, 23:24:03
A trailer that doesn't even have wheels? So you have all the disadvantages and stigma of being in a trailer but none of the mobility :p

Funko
12-08-2005, 09:34:46
Double wide trailer = fat trailer trash?

Drekkus
12-08-2005, 11:20:02
Originally posted by Diss
actually it's not a trailer, but a manufactured home. It doesn't sit on wheels. And it's a double wide.

And really, as cheaply as they are building homes in the city where I live, living in a manufactured home isn't so bad. There are so many class action lawsuits filed for construction defects in my town. Most of them for windows that leak. We live in the 21st century, and they still can't build a home where the windows don't leak. And it doesn't even rain that hard or often where I live. I must say that when visiting relatives of my wife in California, we stayed in a 'mobile' home. The recently moved their dairy farm and were still building their new home, so they had a temporary home, also double wide. It was bigger then my appartment, which is more than 100 m2. I wouldn't have known it was a mobile home if they hadn't told me.

Provost Harrison
12-08-2005, 11:22:50
So Drekkus is descended from trailer trash. It all becomes clear :D

Drekkus
12-08-2005, 12:02:10
:rolleyes:

Funko
12-08-2005, 12:03:50
I would have thought that as a biochemist you'd need to know enough biology to realise that "wifes relatives" aren't people you are descended from

Provost Harrison
12-08-2005, 12:07:48
Quiet you :p

Funko
12-08-2005, 12:13:30
Unless you are from West Virginia of course...

Nills Lagerbaak
12-08-2005, 12:19:30
I remember my first DIY experience: Plumbing a toilet - I had to plug up the water pipe, but I plugged up the dirt pipe by mistake.

Funko
12-08-2005, 12:21:31
:lol:

Funko
12-08-2005, 12:21:52
I'm laughing at the concept of the "dirt pipe" as much as the innuendo.

Nills Lagerbaak
12-08-2005, 12:23:29
I know! I almost fell of the ladder when Tim told me what it was.

Funko
12-08-2005, 12:24:50
You plugged Tom's dirt pipe?

mr.G
12-08-2005, 12:27:13
Originally posted by Provost Harrison
So Drekkus is descended from trailer trash. It all becomes clear :D an gij? rare iglo bewoner, meej oew gekkige dikke homp vleeez in oew bakkes :p

Venom
12-08-2005, 13:24:08
Mobile homes can be nice.

Gary
12-08-2005, 13:31:11
How can anyone mistake a massive diameter soil pipe for a small diameter copper water supply ? :confused:

Gary
12-08-2005, 14:02:04
While on the subject of DIY I narrowly missed messing up a DIY job lunchtime.

A few days back I needed to move the kitchen sink away from the wall in order to remove wallpaper/tiles and make good the plaster etc.. And the only way to do that was to turn off the water and drain the system.

Well these jobs are never as straightforward as you assume they will be, but eventually I got the sink unit away from the wall, and then turned the water back on. Initially all seemed well as both hot cylinder and cold tank filled up.

In fact I had problems with both hot and cold not getting to the taps, and yesterday I thought I'd sorted both out. I'd managed to find out how to vent and pressurise the hot, and I'd used a hosepipe from the kitchen sink to the bathroom basin to blow out any possible air traps in the cold.

All seemed fine, I was finally getting water from both taps. Except later I discovered that hot water from the hot cylinder wasn't getting through ! The cylinder seemed to be getting hot (the pipes to and from it were anyway) but the water would run lukewarm for a bit, and then run cool again.

Weird !

Anyway I decided lunchtime to do the same thing to the hot and I did yesterday to solve the problem with the cold. Clutching at straws as the symptoms are different, but I'd run out of ideas so 'any port in a storm'.

Got the hose, connect it up, turned on the cold in the kitchen, checked it wasn't going all over the bathroom (that hose fitting is crap !) and satisfied all was well wandered back downstairs to let it run for a while.

I got into watching the TV and at some point I decided I had to get back to work. I was within seconds of closing the front door when I suddenly realised that the hose was still pumping cold water up through the bathroom hot tap ! Shit !

Turned it all off, looked out the back, and sure enough, not only had the cylinder overflowed and pushed the water back into the cold tank (I think that's supposed to happen) the cold tank was busy pouring out the overflow all over the flat roof. (I'm sure those little stones used to be evenly distributed over the whole roof. :confused: )

Ah well, all's well that ends well. Just have to see if it's cured the problem this evening. Of course if anyone with plumbing expertise has another suggestion as to why a hot cylinder fails to deliver hot water, I'd be pleased to hear it.

(Gawd that turned out to be a longer post than I anticipated.)

Funko
12-08-2005, 14:14:45
You have a very odd sex life.

self biased
12-08-2005, 17:48:05
lazarus in 3... 2... 1...

Lazarus and the Gimp
12-08-2005, 19:06:24
My stance? Avoid it for as long as possible, then do it in a really angry way with lots of screamed obscenities. Gaffer tape is always used. Leave it for someone else to mop up the floor afterwards while I'm attempting to staunch the bleeding.

Japher
12-08-2005, 19:07:36
as expected

Gary
12-08-2005, 19:49:50
Yay ! Hot water ! :D

Cruddy
12-08-2005, 20:26:42
Originally posted by Provost Harrison
Aha, you've finally admitted you are trailer trash

And what part of Finland is your dad from?

I liked you more when you where just a punk with a biotech degree.

Originally posted by King_Girder
or a girlfriend

As usual, an inaccurate post from KG.

I'm 37 dude. Do the maths on how much loneliness YOU can take.

Lazarus and the Gimp
13-08-2005, 11:01:52
Originally posted by Diss
It's safe to say I know my way around tools (I worked with my dad many times). I just don't care for that sort of work.

In a thread about sexual innuendos around DIY, Diss is God.

Diss
13-08-2005, 21:15:19
:lol:

actually I didn't notice that at first. I feel like Tobias on Arrested Development (you'd have to watch the show to understand that)

Gary
15-08-2005, 09:18:07
Laz's Web Site ? (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4145572.stm)

My brother-in-law Colin decided to plumb in an outside tap to make watering the garden easier. He used a DIY outside tap kit (the type that you fix to an existing water pipe which punctures the pipe allowing the water to flow through the tap when in use - simple!). After completing the task he stood back to admire his handy work and turned on the tap, unfortunately he had chosen the wrong pipe and instead of watering his plants he "gassed" them instead!!!!

Funko
15-08-2005, 09:18:59
Originally posted by Diss
:lol:

actually I didn't notice that at first. I feel like Tobias on Arrested Development (you'd have to watch the show to understand that)

And even when he finds out he's still making them...