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protein
03-08-2005, 16:16:51
* Eating a picnic in a motorway layby when you are only yards from a place of natural beauty

* Watching sport

* Eating pork pies

* Drinking as much weak piss lager as possible in the shortest possible time and then beating someone up

protein
03-08-2005, 16:17:34
* Creating television programmes like Dad's Army and Songs of Praise

protein
03-08-2005, 16:18:10
* Playing cricket badly

* Gardening while listening to radio 4

Venom
03-08-2005, 16:19:15
Pompous stuck up asshole

Venom
03-08-2005, 16:19:44
Evil person in movie

novacane
03-08-2005, 16:20:30
Seeing drunken scoundrels throw kebabs at solicitors windows while their girlfriends moon at taxi drivers?

Funko
03-08-2005, 16:21:07
* Surreal comedy

* Apologising for someone else bumping into you, sorry

* People in coats sitting on deck chairs on stoney beaches in the rain eating ice creams

Venom
03-08-2005, 16:22:20
Monty Python people

Funko
03-08-2005, 16:22:25
* Finding out who can eat the hottest curry

The Norks
03-08-2005, 16:23:37
tea

Funko
03-08-2005, 16:24:53
* arguing about how to say scones

novacane
03-08-2005, 16:25:31
Sunburn?

I have never seen anyone of another nationality with sunburn. Never. Tan-lines - yes. Sunburn (red burning skin) - No

And that noise British people make when they move while sunburned. "ooh ah ooh ah". No other nation behaves like that.

Guynemer
03-08-2005, 16:27:50
* hanging on in quiet desperation

Nills Lagerbaak
03-08-2005, 16:29:47
* Shitpop
* Inventing fake Indian dishes
* Royalty (obsession with)
* Binge drinking
* STDs

novacane
03-08-2005, 16:29:51
Originally posted by Funko
* Apologising for someone else bumping into you, sorry


Thats one thing I refuse to do. I sometimes say "its OK" even if it WAS my fault and BEFORE they have apologised. Its a completely natural reaction. I absolve myself of blame involuntarily, probably make someone feel a bit bad and moreso, very confused as to why they apologised to me.

Nills Lagerbaak
03-08-2005, 16:30:32
*Fat girls with midriffs and thongs out

Funko
03-08-2005, 16:30:37
In New Zealand Nav bumped into someone and said "sorry" she said "You must be English".

novacane
03-08-2005, 16:30:57
Originally posted by Nills Lagerbaak
*Fat girls with midriffs and thongs out :lol:

Funko
03-08-2005, 16:31:07
:lol:

novacane
03-08-2005, 16:32:40
Being charged 1.75 to get your own money from an ATM

maroule
03-08-2005, 16:33:44
scantly dressed teenage girls queing up outside clubs at sub zeo temperature

Frustrated girls easy to pick up while gangs of guys get pissed together and mutter darkly about foreigners being sissies

but also the openness to allow London to be one of the coolest place on the planet

Tizzy
03-08-2005, 16:34:02
* Queueing

Nills Lagerbaak
03-08-2005, 16:34:26
Being charged 1.75 to get your own money from and ATM more than once

Scabrous Birdseed
03-08-2005, 16:34:59
Chavs

Sexual submissiveness

20-year-old girls with Winnie the Pooh plush toys who drink Snakebite and Black

novacane
03-08-2005, 16:37:30
Originally posted by Nills Lagerbaak
Being charged 1.75 to get your own money from and ATM more than once

Why did they have to put them in pubs :bash:

protein
03-08-2005, 16:37:48
* sausages, baked beans and oven chips for "tea"

Funko
03-08-2005, 16:38:46
Mmmm...

We saw Floyd do an awesome spanish style sausage and beans thing on Saturday kitchen. Made it - LOVELY!

King_Ghidra
03-08-2005, 16:39:02
Originally posted by Scabrous Birdseed
Sexual submissiveness


no still means no sicko

novacane
03-08-2005, 16:39:17
snobbery

Drekkus
03-08-2005, 16:39:21
* Clinging to traditions

Scabrous Birdseed
03-08-2005, 16:40:48
I was thinking more along the lines of Tory MPs in stockings and suspenders being whipped by fat dominatrixes.

Gramercy Riffs
03-08-2005, 16:44:00
Having sex on the village green with the vicars wife and two daughters, whilst drinking tea.

novacane
03-08-2005, 16:44:52
Yeah that was fun

Nills Lagerbaak
03-08-2005, 16:45:03
Originally posted by Gramercy Riffs
Having sex on the village green with the vicars wife and two daughters, whilst drinking tea. fully clothed

Nills Lagerbaak
03-08-2005, 16:45:46
*Pets, unnatural obsession with

maroule
03-08-2005, 16:51:48
*Wars (won), unnatural obsession with

Gramercy Riffs
03-08-2005, 16:52:10
Sid James cackling at smutty humour

protein
03-08-2005, 16:52:28
* Cold triangles of Mccains pizza at parties

* calling people "chap"

Nills Lagerbaak
03-08-2005, 17:03:45
* Aporling behavier abrowd

*Shocking grammer and diction

Gramercy Riffs
03-08-2005, 17:11:38
Talking in slow English to people who clearly dont speak a word, in the vain hope they'll understand.

Wishing you'd bothered to learn other languages.

Immortal Wombat
03-08-2005, 17:26:24
* Complaining about the weather

Fistandantilus
03-08-2005, 17:50:15
Originally posted by Tizzy
* Queueing

:D

Japher
03-08-2005, 17:55:09
*Royalty, Crickey, and other things more drab than baseball

*Jamie Oliver saying the word "Naked"

*Pals, because we hate the French too!

Qaj the Fuzzy Love Worm
03-08-2005, 17:59:34
* Tea
* Bland food
* Bad cricket
* Skin so white it glows in the dark
* Good manners even when confronted with rudeness
* Bad cricket
* Idiot politicians
* Anti-Continentalism
* Bad cricket
* Terrible weather
* Missing syllables

Japher
03-08-2005, 18:11:41
*Wicans, Druids, and Raylians

JM^3
03-08-2005, 18:43:08
things that can be said about americans or australians or kiwis or canadians should be not included

JM

Scabrous Birdseed
03-08-2005, 18:43:54
Multiculturalism

Hussars

Curries

Agas

Crispy Aromatic Duck

People from Leeds blowing up underground trains

Japher
03-08-2005, 18:44:32
*balding accountants from Redding

fp
03-08-2005, 18:46:06
* Ale
* Pasties
* Pies

(sigh)... I wish I was going to the beer festival.

Japher
03-08-2005, 18:49:55
*wife-beaters, speedos, black knee-highs, and sandles

fp
03-08-2005, 18:53:02
* football (referring to soccer as)
* football (obsession with)
* football (hooligans associated with)
* football (losing to the Germans at)
* football (small boys, down the park, jumpers for goalposts, rush keepers, next goal wins)

Japher
03-08-2005, 18:56:52
*http://www.mugshots.net/hugh_grant/hugh_grant.jpg

Lazarus and the Gimp
03-08-2005, 19:02:05
* Drizzle
* Those months on end where there's no actual weather. Just a sort of pale grey limbo.
* White dog poo on pavements

Provost Harrison
03-08-2005, 19:39:48
You just don't see white dog poo anymore though. Who was it who was on about that? It's true though!

Immortal Wombat
03-08-2005, 19:51:41
Peter Kay probably. He talks about all kinds of shit.

Provost Harrison
03-08-2005, 19:53:54
Yeah, I was thinking Peter Kay...

Caligastia
03-08-2005, 19:58:41
Snaps of royals on the loo.

Deacon
04-08-2005, 02:46:25
When I think of British history, I think of hopeless military/strategic jams that actually ended with victory. I think of reconciliation between former enemies. I think of the challenges of the Industrial Revolution. I think of how Napoleon dismissed the Brits by referring to them as a "nation of shopkeepers." I think of the kind of democratic openness that puts prevailing attitudes under the microscope.

The old joke is that you become friends with the British by fighting them. I wouldn't go that far, but to this American there seems to be a combination of aggressiveness and inclusiveness that defines Britishness.

I'd say that George Washington was the greatest "dual citizen" in American history. We all know the myth of how he confessed to chopping down the cherry tree. Very British, if you ask me. Transgress, confess, and be forgiven. :)

Chris
04-08-2005, 03:49:02
Actors to play Romans in old movies.

fp
04-08-2005, 06:54:05
Originally posted by Deacon

The old joke is that you become friends with the British by fighting them.

Ah, so that's what the French and Germans have been up to for all these centuries. It's the national equivalent of the 10 year old boy who pulls the pig-tails of the little girl next door?

KrazyHorse
04-08-2005, 07:07:09
*Not being able to speak their own language

*Silly obsession with Imperial past

*Bloody-mindedness

Nav
04-08-2005, 07:57:56
Originally posted by Tizzy
* Queueing Definately when I did camp america I had to use the word 'lineup', they had no idea what to do when I said queue...

Funko
04-08-2005, 09:17:29
Camp America always makes me laugh. :lol:

King_Ghidra
04-08-2005, 09:26:23
Originally posted by fp
Ah, so that's what the French and Germans have been up to for all these centuries. It's the national equivalent of the 10 year old boy who pulls the pig-tails of the little girl next door?

:lol: quality

Oerdin
04-08-2005, 14:11:35
Originally posted by Nav
Definately when I did camp america I had to use the word 'lineup', they had no idea what to do when I said queue...

We simply call it a "line" or "getting in line".

Kitsuki
04-08-2005, 14:27:07
* Being the only country to turn an entire continent into a prison colony....

protein
04-08-2005, 14:30:05
So, based on all these, do we still expect people to want to conform to "Britishness" or do we expect them to be allowed to have their own equally valid and interesting cultures while still integrating?

novacane
04-08-2005, 14:42:29
The first one.

No, the second one.

Phew, that was almost very un-PC of me.

Kitsuki
04-08-2005, 14:49:50
Originally posted by protein
So, based on all these, do we still expect people to want to conform to "Britishness" or do we expect them to be allowed to have their own equally valid and interesting cultures while still integrating?

Thats what I, and Davis, argued all along...!

Kitsuki
04-08-2005, 14:50:11
The latter, that is.

Fergus & The Brazen Car
04-08-2005, 14:54:01
Originally posted by Kitsuki
* Being the only country to turn an entire continent into a prison colony....

Except they didn't.


South Australia was a freely settled colony.


Being British- not giving a flying fuck what misconceptions foreign johnnies have about you, so long as they have some interesting new foodstuffs to eat.

Drinking tea from China out of delft cups stretched out on a Persian rug, nibbling Turkish delight and listening to Sheila Chandra sing a Scottish folk tune on the Japanese hi fi. .

Complaining about the hot weather in summer and lamenting painful chilblains in winter.

Shopping at IKEA for futon covers and stopping off for lamb pasanda, pilau rice, raita and chutnies and rasmalai at the Ambala on the way home.

novacane
04-08-2005, 14:56:23
I thought this thread was to poke fun at ourselves/The British. Didn't realise we'd have a lesson on tolerence at the end of it.

ANY person with a degree of intelligence knows the latter is the best and only way forward.

........unless nobody integrates at all. I blame globalisation for ALL war. If it wasn't so easy to move around, then cultures would not be so able to clash. Blame the transport system. Man.

:cute:

Funko
04-08-2005, 15:02:12
Yeah, there was no war back when people just walked around or had horses.

Fergus & The Brazen Car
04-08-2005, 15:12:12
Originally posted by Funko
Yeah, there was no war back when people just walked around or had horses.


You've never heard of the Long Distance Staring War between the Irish Celts and the Dorset Inuits ?


Or the famous Legless Lepers of Luxor versus The Enigmatic Elephantiasis Stricken Esie Engagement ?


Not to mention the War of the Buttocks, the Stationary Empire, and the Annihiliation of the Immobile Impis by the Akond of Swat.


Man, in those old B.C. and A.D. times, folks be illin' fo' real, horse or no horse, legs or no legs.

novacane
04-08-2005, 15:39:57
Was the horse not a form of transport then?

What I am saying is that if everybody stayed perfectly still all the time, they wouldn't be able to fight.

protein
04-08-2005, 15:50:18
I can't work out if that's increadibly wise or increadibly stupid.

novacane
04-08-2005, 16:09:33
Both?

But, alas, its a pipedream. A bit like integration, tolerance and world peace.........

Immortal Wombat
04-08-2005, 16:14:15
At least, not once they'd run out of rocks within arms reach.

protein
04-08-2005, 16:30:58
and until they train nearby animals to do their bidding.

Oerdin
04-08-2005, 16:34:21
Originally posted by Immortal Wombat
At least, not once they'd run out of rocks within arms reach.

Ahh, but there in is the beauty. You just wait and someone will throw more at you. ;)

Immortal Wombat
04-08-2005, 16:42:09
Not if everyone has run out.

Drekkus
04-08-2005, 17:04:14
Where do all the rocks go?

novacane
04-08-2005, 17:07:43
This was during the Erosion Age.

Immortal Wombat
04-08-2005, 17:31:44
The rocks end up in the sea, or in between the people standing still. Forming little circles around people, like bubbles of armsreach distances.

It would be quite beatifiul, I imagine.

protein
04-08-2005, 17:43:49
I love the way counterglow threads turn out sometimes.

Japher
04-08-2005, 17:44:44
then why don't you marry it!?

hmmm, that one doesn't really work there.

Drekkus
04-08-2005, 17:45:46
Originally posted by Immortal Wombat
The rocks end up in the sea, or in between the people standing still. Forming little circles around people, like bubbles of armsreach distances.

It would be quite beatifiul, I imagine. I can see the matrix style runaround camera action already.

Lazarus and the Gimp
04-08-2005, 18:31:05
* To agree that racism is a bad thing, yet still find time to slag off gypsies.

Vincent
04-08-2005, 22:52:04
* gay

mr.G
04-08-2005, 22:53:15
* crayon

Deacon
05-08-2005, 08:51:46
Originally posted by protein
So, based on all these, do we still expect people to want to conform to "Britishness" or do we expect them to be allowed to have their own equally valid and interesting cultures while still integrating?

I think most cultures can and should change. Some of the burden will fall on the host, but most should fall on the immigrant.

Some accomodation by the host is a good thing, but to be welcome in Britain, one should be expected to become somewhat British. No talk of insurrection, mass murder, separate laws, or repaying ill deeds done long ago.

If I was a tourist travelling to another country, I'd be expected to follow that country's laws, even if they might seem extreme on a matter. My government may or may not be able to help me if I got into trouble. If I can't follow the law, then I should go somewhere else. For that reason, I'm more likely to visit the UK than some place where having 5 o'clock shadow or looking cross-eyed is against the law.

I don't believe that all cultures will fit well with each other. When a match-up turns into a all-encompassing question of who's right or who's better, then interaction becomes difficult and/or hostile.

If comparison must be done, it should be done piecemeal and objectively. Promote winning things, replace losing things.

Those are my rambling thoughts.