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View Full Version : The "Squares and Bread" ranking of civilisation


Scabrous Birdseed
02-08-2005, 13:36:08
I've got a new theory.

A country's level of civilisation can be measured by (a) how good the bread is and (b) how good the squares are.

A civilised country should have a comprehensive, national culture of baking with unique, flavourful, fresh and affordable bread. Barbarians cheaply imitate other cultures' bread, it's expensive, dull and they don't value freshness.

Additionally, a civilised country should have bustling squares with cafés, market stalls, benches old people sit on gossipping, ice-cream vendors, correctly positioned trees etc. Barbarian squares are merely traffic islands that cars and pedestrians soullessly rush through.

I propose to create an index of squareness and one of breadness and plot them off against each other. I expect a good correlation!

Gary
02-08-2005, 13:38:41
I think you're just chosing the criteria so your home country comes out top.

Sveden, home of the square.

Scabrous Birdseed
02-08-2005, 13:40:09
Actually, no. Sweden has bloody awful squares, and pretty middling bread. Finland supercedes it in both categories.

Funko
02-08-2005, 13:41:02
How much did the French pay you to invent a scale that puts them higher than us?

Gary
02-08-2005, 13:43:10
Aye, high points for frivolity and frittering away the day rather than getting on with stuff. :)

Zopperoni
02-08-2005, 13:43:20
Originally posted by Scabrous Birdseed
Finland supercedes it in both categories.
And this did not make you suspicious of your own theory? :hmm:

Scabrous Birdseed
02-08-2005, 13:43:30
Oh come on. All of continental europe is more civilised than you. Or us.

Scabrous Birdseed
02-08-2005, 13:45:01
Actually, I was in Finland when the theory hit me. "Man", I though, "This bread/these squares is/are great. It must be a very civilised country."

Funko
02-08-2005, 13:51:56
Originally posted by Scabrous Birdseed
Oh come on. All of continental europe is more civilised than you. Or us.

That is true. Everytime I come back from Europe I think how civilised it is. :(

Gary
02-08-2005, 14:26:46
Stuck to the tourist parts did you ?

Funko
02-08-2005, 14:29:04
Mostly!

Japher
02-08-2005, 14:30:04
Did you go to the concentration camps?

Funko
02-08-2005, 14:31:53
Blah

Drekkus
02-08-2005, 14:46:34
I think Italian bread and squares are better.

Venom
02-08-2005, 14:59:12
What a retarded measuring system.

King_Ghidra
02-08-2005, 15:03:44
no way is some fucking greaseball wop more civilised than me

Venom
02-08-2005, 15:08:14
It's all about driving. Road quality, number or roads, and quality of drivers determines civilization.

King_Ghidra
02-08-2005, 15:09:19
that isn't going to help italy's case

Venom
02-08-2005, 15:10:32
Precisely.

Japher
02-08-2005, 15:21:33
It's all about the number of Baseball Teams the country has... That, and McDonalds.

Funko
02-08-2005, 15:23:13
It's inversely proportional to that.

King_Ghidra
02-08-2005, 15:24:51
there goes cuba's chances

Funko
02-08-2005, 15:26:04
I thought he was good in Jerry Maguire too

Drekkus
02-08-2005, 15:46:18
Originally posted by Venom
It's all about driving. Road quality, number or roads, and quality of drivers determines civilization. Road quality in the US sucks. Now I know why the speed limits are so low, you have to be carefull with all the holes in the road. France has the best roads, the Peage lets you drive 180 km/h at night, with no more than 100 meters of front vision from your head lights.

Funko
02-08-2005, 15:51:30
That is true.

You can't really get away from the fact that France would be the most civilised place in the world if only it wasn't for all the Frenchmen

Japher
02-08-2005, 15:52:43
True, so true...

Funko
02-08-2005, 15:58:36
So:

Good bread
Good squares
Good roads
Few Frenchmen

Venom
02-08-2005, 16:04:16
Originally posted by Drekkus
Road quality in the US sucks. Now I know why the speed limits are so low, you have to be carefull with all the holes in the road. France has the best roads, the Peage lets you drive 180 km/h at night, with no more than 100 meters of front vision from your head lights.

But while we have some bad roads, we have so many of them. Our quantity makes up for our lack of quality.

Drekkus
02-08-2005, 16:08:54
I dare to bet that the ratio of roads to total country surface is one of the highest in the Netherlands.

Venom
02-08-2005, 16:24:28
You lose road points because of all the crazy ass bikers hanging around.

Qaj the Fuzzy Love Worm
02-08-2005, 16:43:23
Originally posted by Scabrous Birdseed
Actually, I was in Finland when the theory hit me. "Man", I though, "This bread/these squares is/are great. It must be a very civilised country."

I'm quite frightened that you actually use slashes in your internal though processes.

Drekkus
02-08-2005, 16:44:47
You get bonuspoints for hitting those.

Lazarus and the Gimp
02-08-2005, 17:46:24
Originally posted by Scabrous Birdseed
Oh come on. All of continental europe is more civilised than you. Or us.

Ever sampled the bread and/or municipal squares of Poland?

Japher
02-08-2005, 18:03:49
San Francisco has good bread...

MoSe
02-08-2005, 18:05:00
Venom, you're saying that more bad roads is better than few bad roads... something sounds wrong in it.

as you know, I've driven a bit across Europe, and I wouldn't say Italy's highways are that bad. I'd have hard times to pick which are the best. BTW Drekkus, I easily drive 160 at deep night, on the italian highways I know! :p
Anyway I'd say that the Swiss have at least the best road works ;)

In any case, talking of quality, considering that foreign drivers hardly can hope to survive driving in Rome or Naples, this must mean that local drivers are better skilled :P

About bread:
I was indeed thinking that despite I enjoy tasting as many variant as I can of foreign foods, I could hardly find abroad the same qualityand variety of italian bread. I said to myself, that's because it's in your habits, thus I'm pleased and even a bit surprised by Drek's endorsement :)
French only have the overrated baguette, and then rather than giving you good bread they'd "let you eat brioches!" ;)
I fancy the german vollkorn black bread, but that's personal taste, and they also can boast all those spiced breads.

About squares...
of course there are cute ones in Holland, Belgium (Bruges!) and Germany. Italian ones are often so shabby...
French must be overall the best ones.
Although I remember some lovely ones in Granada & Sevilla...

paiktis22
02-08-2005, 18:25:17
Originally posted by MoSe
BTW Drekkus, I easily drive 160 at deep night, on the italian highways I know! :p


so that deranged driver who was stuck on my tail at 150 km/hour on the left lane near angona was wearing red trousers. aha.

Venom
02-08-2005, 18:29:27
I'm saying have roads is better than not having roads. Even if they may be in not great shape.

Vincent
02-08-2005, 18:33:36
take me hooooome

paiktis22
02-08-2005, 18:39:06
most fucked up road i have ever seen was in northern fyromulandia (still yugoslavia at the time). it was so going upwards that a relic of WW2 volkswagen van that was in front of us stopped and started going backwards (to our great discomfort). the road was also uneven full of holes and there was a chasm at the right, very very near the road. actually right next to the asphalt. it was as bad as some tiny roads in some islands with the chasm right next to the road and the bus merily riding 5 cm next to it.

Immortal Wombat
02-08-2005, 18:48:41
Originally posted by Vincent
take me hooooome
West Virginia?

Lazarus and the Gimp
02-08-2005, 21:29:43
This is all nonsense anyway. The true measure of civilisation is how many retail outlets it has per square kilometre that sell Cornish Pasties.

Provost Harrison
02-08-2005, 21:32:28
Surely London would probably win that one? ;)

fp
02-08-2005, 23:00:00
On that scale, it could well be Truro.

Resource Consumer
03-08-2005, 12:58:10
Originally posted by Gary
Aye, high points for frivolity and frittering away the day rather than getting on with stuff. :)

But French bread is round and long - not square

Drekkus
03-08-2005, 13:04:18
Originally posted by paiktis22
most fucked up road i have ever seen was in northern fyromulandia (still yugoslavia at the time). it was so going upwards that a relic of WW2 volkswagen van that was in front of us stopped and started going backwards (to our great discomfort). the road was also uneven full of holes and there was a chasm at the right, very very near the road. actually right next to the asphalt. it was as bad as some tiny roads in some islands with the chasm right next to the road and the bus merily riding 5 cm next to it. You should try driving in Ghana. :D

Oh, and MoSe is absolutely right about the squares in Spain. Granada has some fantastic smaller squares, where old people play petanque under the trees.

Gary
03-08-2005, 13:09:57
Originally posted by Resource Consumer
But French bread is round and long - not square Not after I've packed it ;)

Fistandantilus
03-08-2005, 13:18:31
Originally posted by MoSe
In any case, talking of quality, considering that foreign drivers hardly can hope to survive driving in Rome or Naples, this must mean that local drivers are better skilled :P


I've been in Rome once, I survived only because I caught a taxi, and 'skilled' is the last word I'd associate with local drivers (the taxi driver not being an exception, but he adapted to the environment I guess)