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Sir Penguin
02-08-2005, 00:08:28
The Great Ninja Master Ri-Yu gazed out of his cloistered window. His eyes traveled up the forest path, past the distant battlefield, and towards the stars glittering in the sky. The stars gazed back at him. He thought to himself, We must have peace. I feel it.

Ri-Yu swiftly turned, and started pacing silently. “Bah!” he said to himself out loud, and continued in his own mind: The Pirates will never make peace, even if we surrender. It is not in their nature. He deftly dodged around the broom that he used to sweep his floor, and stopped, startled. His mind traveled back to a time, long ago, when, in a fit of emotion, he had challenged his master to a duel. Ri-Yu had been unarmed, and would have been defeated quickly had a broom similar to his own not been within arm's reach. His master had disarmed him, of course, but nonetheless had been impressed at the young Ninja's ingenuity. The older Ri-Yu ruminated, Is it in a broom's nature to be used as a weapon? When put to such a use, is its essential nature as a broom corrupted? No! It can still be used to sweep, even in the midst of battle! Perhaps the Pirate Grand Captain, Bloody Boots, could become an instrument of truce while retaining his Pirate nature. An idea began to form in Ri-Yu's subconscious.

The next day, the Pirate and Ninja armies went to the great battlefield, where they engaged once again in combat. The battlefield was the only clear area in the region. It was surrounded on three sides by forest, and on the other by a great cliff that dropped to a rocky valley below. It was a few miles from the coast, where Bloody Boots' base was anchored, and the Ninjas also had their headquarters the same distance away, but on the opposite side.

Master Ri-Yu fought hard, but he killed few Pirates, using lethal attacks only when necessary for his own defense or the defense of his fellow Ninjas. He noticed that the Pirates were even more savage and fierce than usual. Ri-Yu spent a moment considering why this might be before he was forced to dodge a Pirate's biting rapier and engage the enemy in battle once again. As usual, it was a long fight. By the end of the day, many combatants, both Pirate and Ninja, had been killed or injured. The armies took up their casualties and returned to their bases.

After the evening meal, Ri-Yu gathered his closest, most trusted advisers and companions: Wei of the Iron Dragon Claw, Chin-Yun of the Wind Hand, and Xi-Chow of the Spirit Force. He served them tea and cakes. Their expressions were unreadable through the full-facial Ninja masks. When they were all finished, Ri-Yu stood up and said, “Tonight you will help me, or kill me. I have read in the stars... we must make peace with the Pirates.” He waited. Wei reached for his dagger, but Xi-Chow stopped him with a gaze. She said, “I have had the same feeling. And if I am not mistaken, so have you and Chin-Yun.” Ri-Yu could see that, indeed, they all had secretly concluded the same. He relaxed.

“I believe that the Dread Pirate Bloody Boots may be able to convince his men to stop fighting. Tomorrow we must meet with him before the armies collide.” “That... would be risky,” ruminated Chin-Yun, speaking for the first time that evening. Ri-Yu replied, “Yes, we must take risks if we are to stop this war before it is too late.” “Very well,” Chin-Yun said, “I will stand with you when you meet with Bloody Boots. “And I,” said Xi-Chow quietly. “Mmm...” Wei mumbled affirmingly.

The four Ninja Masters rose early the next morning and partook in a quick meal and jog around the Ninja encampment. They gathered the Ninja army and departed for the battlefield. The Ninjas and Pirates arrived simultaneously, a skill that came easily to both armies after many years of practise. Ri-Yu and his three generals strode up to a point between the two armies, a clear invitation to the Pirate leaders to do the same. The Ninja army stood silent in stoic discipline, though Ri-Yu knew they must be restless and confused by their leaders' actions. Moments after the four stopped, a delegation of Pirates broke off from the main army and sauntered towards them. Bloody Boots was not among them.

“Where is your Grand Captain, Bloody Boots?” asked Ri-Yu. “Bloody Boots be Gran' Cap'n no longer, Ninja dog. I be in charrrrrge now. I be Cap'n Jack Daniels, and ye'll be tryin' no' of yer Ninja tricks on me, ye heaaaar?” Ri-Yu, outwardly unphased but disturbed inside, continued, “We must negotiate a truce between the Ninjas and Pirates. A great doom approaches us, and even were it not so, we fight for no reason, for no goal. We fight because we fought yesterday. Surely this is no way to live?” “Phaugh, foul Ninja coward! There will be no peace between Ninja and Pirate, ever, while Bloody Boots is a prisoner on my ship and I am in charge of the Pirate army!” With that, Captain Daniels drew his weapon, and the battle began. Ri-Yu called the Ninja battle cry, “Hai-ya!” and lead his Ninja into what promised to be a bloody carnage. Over the course of the battle, a new plan began to present itself to Ri-Yu.

* * *

Before the sun rose the next morning, Ri-Yu gathered his compatriots, gusted out of the Ninja headquarters, and breezed towards where the Pirate ships were anchored. The four located Captain Daniels' ship, incapacitated a party of nearby guards, hid their unconscious bodies, stole their boat, and slipped over the placid water towards the great ship. As soon as they came alongside, Chin-Yun motioned for silence. He whispered, “The Captain is about early. Listen closely. The wind says, all of the Pirates are awake. For what purpose?” Wei replied, “For an attack.” Ri-Yu thought, indecisive for the first time since his idea for peace had first come to him. He let out a silent breath, and said, “Xi-Chow, only you can return to our brothers in time to rally them to arms. Go, we will have to do without your enchantments.” And Xi-Chow gestured, and was carried away by what remained of the moonlight.

The three remaining Ninja Masters waited until Chin-Yun heard the splashing of Pirate dinghies leaving for shore. Several minutes later, they climbed to the deck of the Pirate ship and set out to find Bloody Boots. Two decks up, near the forecastle, they spotted him swabbing the deck, guarded by three young pirates.

The three Ninja split up and began stalking up on one Pirate each. Ri-Yu approached his target silently. As he reached the Pirate, a wave hit the boat, and all three Ninjas were knocked off their feet. The pirates heard the commotion, and drew their rapiers. Ri-Yu rolled to his feet and crouched, dagger drawn. The pirate lunged, and Ri-Yu quickly dodged out of the way of the well-placed stab. The Ninja Master tensed, and, yelling, “Hai-ya!” threw his dagger at the Pirate, but his target deflected the blade with a precise stroke of his rapier. Ri-Yu thought to himself, This one would make a good Ninja. He drew his sai, and crouched, waiting for the Pirate's attack.

The Pirate grinned a moonlit grin and charged straight at Ri-Yu. Suddenly, Ri-Yu sensed a presence behind him, and, with no time to react any other way, dropped to the deck. He heard a blade sing where his neck had just been, and a gasp of surprise from the Pirate that had been charging him. He looked up to see Wei's katana embedded in the Pirate's chest. Ri-Yu looked backwards at his fellow Master, whose eyes were slightly crinkled in what must have been a rare smile behind the Ninja mask. Wei nodded, and Ri-Yu returned the gesture.

The former Grand Captain, Bloody Boots, had backed unarmed against the forecastle gunwale and was glaring at the Ninjas fiercely. “Ah, so ye come ta murder the old man, have ye? Killin' moi men every day not enough for ye? Have ta sneak on barrrrrd a poorly defended ship ta finally kill an unarrrrmed Poirate?”

The three lowered their weapons. “No,” said Ri-Yu soberly, “We have come to discuss something with you. My fellow Masters and I have come to an agreement: there must be peace between the Ninjas and the Pirates.”

“Peace? Phaugh! Ninja and Poirate have fought each other fer hundreds of yarrrrrs! Tharrrrr be no stoppin' it, arrr.”

“But there must be. We fight because we fought, and we fought because we fought before, and we fought before because we fought before that. There is no sense in it. There is no reason. There is only the killing, and the baseless hatred that is ingrained in all young Ninjas, and must also be ingrained in all young Pirates.”

Bloody Boots looked long into Ri-Yu's eyes, relaxed and said, “Aye, ye may be roight at that, matey. I have felt the long war straining as it's ne'er strained bafore, aye. And... something else.” Bloody Boots straightened his back and laughed, “Har-har! I will fetch a weapon, and we must take to land! The verm'nous dog Daniels has me best blade, and he'll be usin' it soon enough. Arrrrrr!”

The three Ninjas waited for Bloody Boots to arm himself, and then the four were off to shore to try and avert another death-filled day of fighting. They made their way quickly towards the Ninja headquarters, but when they burst out of the forest surrounding the great battlefield, they saw their two armies arrayed against each other, each about to engage the opposite. Bloody Boots strode angrily up to his former lieutenant, Captain Daniels, while Ri-Yu and the other Ninjas swept around the Pirate army and rejoined their own. Ri-Yu nodded at Xi-Chow, whose eyes smiled the confirmation that the Ninja in Ri-Yu's army were prepared not to attack until Ri-Yu ordered it.

Sir Penguin
02-08-2005, 00:09:10
Meanwhile in the Pirate ranks, Bloody Boots was waging an angry verbal battle with Captain Daniels. The elder Pirate growled, “We cannae foight no more, Jack, it weakens the mighty Pirate army loike nothin' else!”

“Nae, old man, ye can't change history! Ourrrrrr fathers were killed by the filthy Ninja, we haff ta do the same, for them!”

“Yar father was a fool, buoy. He said the same, and I was foolish too, I listened ta him! Gain your senses, Jack, it's not roight!”

“HOW DARE YOU, YOU... YOU... LANDLUBBER!” A great gasp echoed through the Pirate army. Captain Daniels drew the Grand Captain's blade from his belt. The two Captains' eyes met, and there was an unspoken understanding that that the winner of this battle would determine the future of all Pirates. Captain Daniels took the first lunge, stabbing straight at his former ally. Bloody Boots deflected the strong blow, not without some effort. He ran his blade up that of Captain Daniels', kicked the man in the shin, and stepped forward, dragging his blade over his opponent's balance arm. “Arrrrrr!” cried Captain Daniels. He turned around, eyes blazing, and began a fierce flurry of attacks against Bloody Boots. The elder Pirate began gasping for breath under the weight of the ferocious advance. Finally, he threw himself at Captain Daniels, pushing the usurper back and away. The two circled each other, until just as Captain Daniels was about to attack, a great rumbling shook the earth and distracted him. Bloody Boots, his great experience keeping him from looking away, took advantage of his enemy's momentary loss of focus, and plunged his sword right through Captain Daniels' chest. “Har-harrrrr!” cried Bloody Boots in savage victory. He slit Captain Daniels' throat and crushed it under his foot until the neck snapped. The earth shook again, and Bloody Boots regained his composure. He grabbed his old sword from the corpse's clenched hand.

Ri-Yu loped up to Bloody Boots, and said quickly, “Something is happening, Grand Captain.” “Wait,” replied Bloody Boots. He turned, and called, “Moighty Poirates, I reclaim my roightful name of Grand Cap'n Bloody Boots! Have I your supparrrrt, Poirates?” A great chorus of, “AAARRRRRRRRRR!” rose up from the crowd facing him. The Grand Captain turned and said, “Then we face this togetharrrrr, as allies!”

The two leaders turned towards the source of the earthquakes, the valley that bordered the battlefield. Before their eyes, a great horde of killer Zombies began clambering slowly over the lip of the cliff. Ri-Yu and Bloody Boots glanced at each other, and turned to charge at the new threat. Ri-Yu yelled out, “Hai-Yaaaaa!”, a call echoed by his army, but Bloody Boots placed a hand on the Ninja's shoulder. Both armies waited silently as the Zombies shambled towards them. Bloody Boots looked at Ri-Yu in his bared eyes, turned towards the Zombies, and a battle cry tore from his throat, “Hai-Yaaarrrrrrrrrr!!!” Ri-Yu's voice joined that of Bloody Boots, and soon both armies were thundering, “Hai-Yaaaarrrrrrrr!” The two great Generals raced towards the Zombie threat, and were quickly followed into battle by the newly allied Pirates and Ninjas.

jsorense
02-08-2005, 00:12:38
Film, Fiction and Writing forum! :rolleyes:
:o Never mind.:o

Lurker the Second
02-08-2005, 13:39:59
Those words be lies, I tell ya. No pirate ever killed a ninja.

Funko
02-08-2005, 14:07:11
I stopped reading when the ninja master contemplated surrender.

No way you can suspend disbelief with such preposterous nonsense...

Japher
02-08-2005, 14:36:38
Ninjas and Pirates? The Ninja should be a Pirate!! On his mother's side twice removed.

Venom
02-08-2005, 18:31:50
So very much wrong with this story.

Qaj the Fuzzy Love Worm
02-08-2005, 18:42:44
I didn't see any mention of robots. Why are there no robots?

Sir Penguin
03-08-2005, 03:36:45
Originally posted by Funko
I stopped reading when the ninja master contemplated surrender.

No way you can suspend disbelief with such preposterous nonsense...
He wasn't contemplating surrender! Do you think I would stoop so low? A ninja would never surrender.

There aren't any robots because I wrote it for inclusion in a Neverwinter Nights module. However, I could replace the zombies with a golem army. That would be pretty badass.
Originally posted by Venom
So very much wrong with this story.
You mean besides the plot holes and cliche dialogue?

SP

Funko
03-08-2005, 09:36:15
"The Pirates will never make peace, even if we surrender."

That sounds like he's considered that surrender is an option. Shocking. :(

Qaj the Fuzzy Love Worm
03-08-2005, 14:56:29
Originally posted by Sir Penguin
I could replace the zombies with a golem army. That would be pretty badass.

That would be acceptable.

Japher
03-08-2005, 16:05:51
or Robots with lasars!

Lurker the Second
03-08-2005, 18:04:01
He still had pirates killing ninjas.

Japher
03-08-2005, 18:21:16
That's a 4 star book. To get 4.5 stars he needs robots.

To get 5 stars you need nekkid chicks... pirates, ninjas, robots are all arbitrary at that point.

Sir Penguin
04-08-2005, 04:57:15
Originally posted by Funko
"The Pirates will never make peace, even if we surrender."

That sounds like he's considered that surrender is an option. Shocking. :(
Shit, I totally didn't notice that! Thank you!

It should read, "The Pirates will never make peace, and we cannot surrender."

I think I'm going to go with the combined might of zombies AND robots. The robots also have lasers, but the story ends before they can use them. It doesn't matter though, since ninjas and pirates have good reflexes and can dodge out of the way of the laser beams.

SP

Sir Penguin
04-08-2005, 04:57:45
No nudity, remember, this is a children's book.

SP

Funko
04-08-2005, 09:03:35
Originally posted by Sir Penguin
Shit, I totally didn't notice that! Thank you!

It should read, "The Pirates will never make peace, and we cannot surrender."

I think I'm going to go with the combined might of zombies AND robots. The robots also have lasers, but the story ends before they can use them. It doesn't matter though, since ninjas and pirates have good reflexes and can dodge out of the way of the laser beams.

SP

OK. *phew*

King_Ghidra
04-08-2005, 09:27:46
Originally posted by Sir Penguin
There aren't any robots because I wrote it for inclusion in a Neverwinter Nights module.
SP


:lol: :lol: :lol:

Lurker the Second
04-08-2005, 14:00:29
Plus there was no wailing.

Venom
04-08-2005, 15:08:25
SP needs an editor.

King_Ghidra
04-08-2005, 15:30:08
and a therapist

and a procotlogist i expect

Venom
04-08-2005, 15:38:26
I thought there was photo evidence of you taking care of his proctology.

Sir Penguin
05-08-2005, 02:03:39
Wailing, that's some good material. Maybe a ninja bard can wail on his lute for atmosphere.

SP

jsorense
05-08-2005, 03:31:07
:lol: :beer: