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Asher
14-07-2005, 23:59:53
This thread exists for the CG community (especially Jon Miller) to get together and provide wanking advice for DevilsH@lo, as he'll now be joining your ranks as a regular.

JM^3
15-07-2005, 00:27:44
I would recommend closing the door before you begin

and turning down the lights..

you might think that soft music will help, but really it is just creepy

also make sure that you have set off enough, time, at least several hours, it is no fun to hurry a wank

also, prepare any aids you need before hand, it is terribly annoying to go in search of one in the middle...

Jon Miller

Provost Harrison
15-07-2005, 00:28:43
Don't go too gentle...and use lube if circumcised...that is all...

Kitsuki
15-07-2005, 00:45:25
My advice would be to ask Asher - he has lots of experience of playing with willies.

Provost Harrison
15-07-2005, 00:46:49
He will even give you a 'demonstration' ;)

Oerdin
15-07-2005, 00:51:03
Lube is your friend.

Provost Harrison
15-07-2005, 00:52:12
Correction: my best friend :p

Asher
15-07-2005, 00:55:38
Originally posted by Provost Harrison
He will even give you a 'demonstration' ;)
I would give Kitsuki a demonstration, but no one else here. ;)

Provost Harrison
15-07-2005, 00:58:34
You're such a cruel tease :( (;))

Asher
15-07-2005, 00:59:21
I wouldn't no what to do with someone circumcized like yourself.

I would probably end up crying out of pity.

Provost Harrison
15-07-2005, 01:00:15
You don't know what you're missing

(speaking completely hypothetically of course ;))

Asher
15-07-2005, 01:02:12
I don't think I'm missing anything big.

JM^3
15-07-2005, 02:02:14
well, that shows that I am no good at making things funny when I am trying to be funny

JM

Greg W
15-07-2005, 02:17:25
I think the best hint for someone in the armed forces is:

Drop the soap!

fp
15-07-2005, 07:11:10
Originally posted by JM^3
well, that shows that I am no good at making things funny when I am trying to be funny

JM

I thought it was funny. :D

Diss
15-07-2005, 07:53:35
you are supposed to use lube?

Gary
15-07-2005, 09:04:26
I don't believe there's a rule book from God :)

But "Deep Heat" works well.

Diss
15-07-2005, 09:10:53
I had to figure it out the hard way.

get it? :) I kill me.

MoSe
15-07-2005, 09:18:51
Originally posted by JM^3
I would recommend closing the door before you begin

and turning down the lights..

you might think that soft music will help, but really it is just creepy



closing the door... someone might instead find excitement in the risk of someone breaking in on him in the middle of his action....

(not my case, honest...
well...
I once did it, hoping my vacation housemate would forget knocking on the door when she'd come in my room to call me for dinner and get faced with the ongoing deed, to no avail... I felt pervertly thrilled atm, but morally ashamed later :cute: )

anyway
closing the door, dimming the light, soft music... beware to not falling asleep before completion! ;)

MoSe
15-07-2005, 10:00:33
talking of advices, I'm curious....
we were drunkenly discussing this yesterday....

what are your feelings about "standing wanking"?
I was amazed to know that someone considers it hopeless, desperate, squallid...
I did it standing only on rare occasions, but... when the "need" arises, you have to make do... :cute: , say.... once in a train loo :o for instance...

hmmm.... maybe I should've dedicated a standalone thread to this topic, I already have the title in mind: "ONE HAND STAND" :D

Funko
15-07-2005, 10:02:39
:lol:

Kitsuki
15-07-2005, 10:23:37
:lol:

Provost Harrison
15-07-2005, 10:29:47
You did it standing in a train loo? :eek: I don't know about you, but in all the train loos I've ever been in the last thing I have fancied is having a quick five knuckle shuffle...

Provost Harrison
15-07-2005, 10:30:50
Originally posted by JM^3
also, prepare any aids you need before hand

Don't be hard on yourself Jon, I thought this line was (probably unintentionally) quite amusing...

Funko
15-07-2005, 10:42:00
Sometimes the only way there is space for is standing...

MoSe
15-07-2005, 10:48:15
Originally posted by Provost Harrison
You did it standing in a train loo? :eek: I don't know about you, but in all the train loos I've ever been in the last thing I have fancied is having a quick five knuckle shuffle...

let's just say I was "overwhelmed by environmental provocation"....

Provost Harrison
15-07-2005, 10:48:57
Hehe

Diss
15-07-2005, 10:53:04
let's put it this way. I can't "finish" when standing. either with a woman or by myself.

I have to be either sitting down or laying down. Or on my knees. No I'm not gay, I'm talking about titty fucking. the girl I was with was afraid I'd hit her face though, so we put a washcloth under her chin.

Provost Harrison
15-07-2005, 10:54:36
She was afraid of hitting her in the face? Just slap her about a few times with it :lol:

I can imagine a washcloth on her face would have been quite a turnoff. You should have pointed out the virtues of jiz facepacks :D

MoSe
15-07-2005, 10:59:27
lol, like a baby's bib, they smear food everywhere except in their mouth... :lol:


oh, and kneeling deserves a whole chapter altogether...
...underwater in a shallow sandy seashore, going with the rythm of the waves... no, wait, that wasn't wanking...

mr.G
15-07-2005, 11:03:32
Mose, you are odd

Funko
15-07-2005, 11:05:16
Is he the oddest CGer?

mr.G
15-07-2005, 11:06:22
at the least the oddest italian wanker from milan.

Funko
15-07-2005, 11:06:45
What about Fistandantilus, maybe he can compete for that title.

Provost Harrison
15-07-2005, 11:07:13
The Italian (Hand) Job?

mr.G
15-07-2005, 11:07:24
is he from milan also?

Funko
15-07-2005, 11:07:45
I think so, well he supports Inter so probably.

mr.G
15-07-2005, 11:10:55
still i guess he is the verliezer in that contest

Provost Harrison
15-07-2005, 11:11:38
A self gratification society even?

MoSe
15-07-2005, 11:59:37
Originally posted by Funko
I think so, well he supports Inter so probably.
no, he's a southerner, from the wrong side of the big river ;)
Not far from Milan actually

MoSe
15-07-2005, 12:01:40
Originally posted by Provost Harrison
Don't be hard on yourself

I have absolutely nothing to comment there

Provost Harrison
15-07-2005, 12:06:11
:lol:

fp
15-07-2005, 12:37:08
Thread of the week!

Fistandantilus
15-07-2005, 12:37:25
Originally posted by Funko
I think so, well he supports Inter so probably.

I'm not from Milan, about 70 km away... damn MoSe always wins :(

fp
15-07-2005, 12:38:20
nm :o

Funko
15-07-2005, 12:38:24
Like his team! :cute:

Fistandantilus
15-07-2005, 12:40:26
Not this year :D

Greg W
15-07-2005, 12:48:04
The weirdest way to wank has to be in front of your partner. When they ask you to, cos they want to watch you.

Hmm, possibly TMI there... :nervous:

fp
15-07-2005, 12:50:02
Definitely TMI. That's par for the course in this thread though.

I'm amused by the fact that Diss was on his kness tit-fucking a girl who nevertheless considered herself too much of a lady to take a load in the face. "Just give me a pearl necklace, honey, I ain't a slag"

Kitsuki
15-07-2005, 12:53:35
Asher has offered to toss me off.

I feel so sick.

Greg W
15-07-2005, 12:56:32
You didn't realise Asher was a tosser?

Kitsuki
15-07-2005, 13:17:51
:lol:

Funko
15-07-2005, 13:23:29
Toss you off what?

Kitsuki
15-07-2005, 13:27:33
:rolleyes:

Venom
15-07-2005, 13:38:57
This thread is disturbing.

Kitsuki
15-07-2005, 13:43:10
I agree!

MoSe
15-07-2005, 13:46:40
Mucho mas!

Venom
15-07-2005, 13:48:04
Shut it, He Who Wanks While Standing.

There, that's your Indian name.

Kitsuki
15-07-2005, 13:48:29
:lol:

MoSe
15-07-2005, 13:48:43
Originally posted by Greg W
When they ask you to, cos they want to watch you.

a scientific approach
you get to learn so much that way

BTW, would that be first hand or second hand experience???

Funko
15-07-2005, 13:49:00
Venom is Stains While Wanking

fp
15-07-2005, 13:49:23
Originally posted by Venom

There, that's your Indian name.

That's not very politically correct. They should properly be called "Eskimos"

MoSe
15-07-2005, 13:51:18
Originally posted by Venom
Shut it, He Who Wanks While Standing.

There, that's your Indian name.

What was in english the white-indian girl name in Dancing With Wolves?

"Standing With Fist"??? :eek: :lol:


that could becoume our standing joke...

Funko
15-07-2005, 13:51:50
I'm Shagging With Sheep

MoSe
15-07-2005, 13:53:40
Kicking With Tizzy

Funko
15-07-2005, 13:54:07
Nah, Mr.G is Kicked By Tizzy.

DevilsH@lo
15-07-2005, 14:30:32
Originally posted by Asher
This thread exists for the CG community (especially Jon Miller) to get together and provide wanking advice for DevilsH@lo, as he'll now be joining your ranks as a regular.

Well thanks for the concern Asher, but i'm quite disturbed that you are worried about my sex life.

As for tips, im already a fully subscribed "MEMBER" of this site.

http://www.masturbation-techniques.net/ <- definately not work safe, if you should click on any links which i hadnt but thought i should check!

So i think i have it covered, or even in hand so to speak.

Asher
15-07-2005, 15:21:27
Poor guy. :(

We're here for you buddy!

Koyaanisqatsi
15-07-2005, 15:23:58
Maybe you are--some of us are less interested in his masturbation.

Venom
15-07-2005, 15:27:28
I follow only one guide in life....Wank till it hurts.

DevilsH@lo
15-07-2005, 15:30:50
I didn't quote Venom here
Honest................Now please move down the bus.

Or in asher's case..........till he tells you to stop!

Venom
15-07-2005, 15:36:55
x-fear :shoot:

DevilsH@lo
15-07-2005, 15:40:15
Ahhhhhhhh, so that's what it means.

Venom
15-07-2005, 16:02:38
I'm a teacher.

Greg W
15-07-2005, 16:03:35
:hmm:

Kitsuki
15-07-2005, 20:45:22
Someone made that site...? Sad bastard.

Diss
15-07-2005, 22:23:07
Originally posted by fp
Definitely TMI. That's par for the course in this thread though.

I'm amused by the fact that Diss was on his kness tit-fucking a girl who nevertheless considered herself too much of a lady to take a load in the face. "Just give me a pearl necklace, honey, I ain't a slag"

if you were a woman, would you want it in the face? I wouldn't. It's unpleasant getting things on your face.

Not all women want to be treated like porn stars. (unfortunately :))

Venom
15-07-2005, 22:26:43
I gotta say, if you're receiving a titty fucking you're already in porn star country. Or at the very least, working your way through customs.

KrazyHorse@home
15-07-2005, 22:31:25
The girls I've been with don't seem to mind a face full of jizz.

Lazarus and the Gimp
15-07-2005, 22:36:39
Is that why you shaved the beard off? Was it getting a bit matted?

KrazyHorse@home
15-07-2005, 22:38:23
I can't say no to a good snowball...

fp
16-07-2005, 09:27:47
Originally posted by Venom
I gotta say, if you're receiving a titty fucking you're already in porn star country. Or at the very least, working your way through customs.

My point exactly. Saying "Titty-fucking is ok, but a facial is just too slutty" seems to be drawing the line in a rather arbitrary place. But I guess no means no, you gotta respect the ladies, even if you do have your cock between their tits.

JM^3
16-07-2005, 13:52:58
I can't see how titty fucking is worse then oral?

both seem to me to be foreplay for the guy..

JM

Greg W
16-07-2005, 14:11:08
It's not normal day to day foreplay...

Cruddy
16-07-2005, 14:26:16
Originally posted by Asher
I wouldn't no what to do with someone circumcized like yourself.

I would probably end up crying out of pity.

I thought you were going to get snipped yourself? Seem to recall advising it was painful but rewarding.

Provost Harrison
16-07-2005, 18:04:04
Have you also tried 'bagpiping' Diss?

Diss
16-07-2005, 19:47:43
never heard of bagpiping

let's see if I can look it up.

edit: I think not

re-edit: Okay I found two different definitions. I think the first one might be wrong. It mentioned something about a thumb up your ass. The second one mentioned armpits. I have to admit that's a new one. Not one I've thought of before. I wouldn't discount it directly, but something I seriously doubt I'll do. I would never mention this to a normal woman. She'd probably laugh her ass off. I suppose I could do this with a prostitute, but I really don't do prostitutes anymore.

Lazarus and the Gimp
16-07-2005, 20:19:17
It's armpit love, and I personally have never seen the point of it.

Provost Harrison
16-07-2005, 21:12:27
Originally posted by Diss
never heard of bagpiping

let's see if I can look it up.

edit: I think not

re-edit: Okay I found two different definitions. I think the first one might be wrong. It mentioned something about a thumb up your ass. The second one mentioned armpits. I have to admit that's a new one. Not one I've thought of before. I wouldn't discount it directly, but something I seriously doubt I'll do. I would never mention this to a normal woman. She'd probably laugh her ass off. I suppose I could do this with a prostitute, but I really don't do prostitutes anymore.

...keep digging Diss ;)

Diss
16-07-2005, 23:02:42
Originally posted by Lazarus and the Gimp
It's armpit love, and I personally have never seen the point of it.

what's the point of any sex?

how does it matter how you get off? as long as you get off.

JM^3
16-07-2005, 23:06:28
a decent ammount of erotica has an emphasis on the armpits

often in the same erotica, there is emphasis on hairy pubic region, and strong smells..

JM

Provost Harrison
16-07-2005, 23:07:12
Well I'm winning on the hairy pubic regions and strong smells ;)

fp
17-07-2005, 09:10:23
:vom: