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View Full Version : I wish I had control over my penis


Diss
09-07-2005, 22:59:14
So yesterday this girl was all over me. And no it wasn't a strip club. But she kind of acted like a stripper. It was at a regular establishment. I think she may have been a prostitute. I admit, I'm dense about these things. I live in the city with the most prostitutes (in the U.S.), but I have never seen one for sure. Because it's so hot here, all women dress like sluts. It's hard to tell them apart. And I have never been propositioned by a prostitute. I'm kind of hurt by that. Do I not look like a man who needs a blowjob? I'm also hurt I've never been offered drugs either. I guess I have that look.

Don't get me wrong. I have no illusions this woman was interested in me. She was flirting with other guys as well. Some women are just like that. Very flirty. She said she was tipsy, but I was close enough to tell she had no alcohol on her breath. Maybe she was on drugs. Ectasy or something. She was very forward with me.

This is the problem. I have no control over certain parts of my anatomy. I was able to prevent any upward movement, but there was movement. She even looked down a couple of times toward my crotch region. Which kind of led me to believe she was teasing me on purpose to see if I would get hard. I have no idea. I know nothing about women, and I have no idea why they do the things they do.

Yes I know, I should think about baseball. But it's hard to think about baseball and come up with something to say to a woman. I can't do both at the same time. I normally have trouble thinking of things to say to people in conversations. I don't need to be thinking about baseball.

Diss
09-07-2005, 23:06:16
P.S. this is a true story. I'm not sure what to make of it. I'm so hideous even the more flirtatious women will not go near me. Situations like this never happen to me outside of a strip club (where all women act like that to get you to buy lap dances). She really pushed all my buttons. I hate that, I wish I had more control. She wasn't really interested in me, but I still got worked up.

Cruddy
09-07-2005, 23:14:29
Yay! Diss got horny in public! It's a start at least.

Man, it's like a dance. A woman shows interest in you - you show interest in them. Don't give a shit about what your dick is doing, if it's moving in a lifelike manner be proud of it.

Believe me, when you get older these moments get rarer.

Nothing to say? Prepare stuff in advance. It's the only way.

Even if it's just the British thing of talking about the weather, it's a start into dialogue.

And practise. Practise. Practise.

So long as you don't lose heart you'll score. You just got to spend enough time in the target zone until a woman who's hot for you is in the area.

It probably won't be the start of romance, but I don't think romance is what you're after right now.

Originally posted by Diss
I'm also hurt I've never been offered drugs either. I guess I have that look.

* Cruddy offers his spliff

I've worked with people for YEARS who had no idea I toked, and didn't want to risk asking the wrong question.

Oerdin
09-07-2005, 23:23:02
Relax man. Every guy gets a hard on when hot women screw around with them even if they're not interested. Yesterday I went down with some of my less reputable friends to Tijuana, which is over run with Mexican hookers, I have a nice girlfriend and so I was not interested but my friend was driving so I had to hang out until they were done. I assure you a foreign looking male with be pounced upon in one of those places and with all of the grabbing of cocks & rubbing of bodies those working girls do it is near impossible not to get a hard on even if you're not interested.

Like I said, I wasn't interested and I ended up spending my time at the bar waiting on my asshole friends but even if you're not interested it's difficult not to get a hard on when a pretty girl is grabbing you and saying nasty things to you.

Cruddy
09-07-2005, 23:25:11
Believe it or not a longstanding tactic in Northern Ireland - 2 slappers showing their tits and arse grab the troops attention while a bomber slips around the back.

Diss
10-07-2005, 08:29:21
*diss checks his wallet*

Diss
10-07-2005, 08:31:16
she was probably a prostitute. It's not a major prostitute place (like the Las Vegas strip or hotel bars), but it was a fairly poor neighborhood outside an air foce base. So I'd imagine they have one or two.

It's worth noting that we don't have much street walkers aside from the las vegas strip (where they blend in and the cops look the other way). But the cops crack down real hard on street walkers outside the tourist corridoor.

JM^3
10-07-2005, 09:17:27
you can commonly find prostitutes arround the comfort inn, best western, and 7-11 arround 2 am...

JM

Provost Harrison
10-07-2005, 10:20:21
I don't think we have any of those around here, alas...

Diss
10-07-2005, 10:40:30
Originally posted by JM^3
you can commonly find prostitutes arround the comfort inn, best western, and 7-11 arround 2 am...

JM

and how would you know that. :)

and you rarely find me outside at 2 in the moring. This was around 7 or 8 o clock at night.

Kitsuki
10-07-2005, 12:30:12
Mate, I'd be personally be more worried if I *didn't* get one...!

Dyl Ulenspiegel
10-07-2005, 18:11:22
Indeed. Carry your stiff little friend with pride, say "thank you" or "can I help you?" to the girl...

BigGameHunter
10-07-2005, 18:16:52
Now you have someplace to hang your hat.

Nav
10-07-2005, 18:33:28
wear tight pants.

Chris
10-07-2005, 19:38:18
Think 'Ernest Borgnine'

The Norks
10-07-2005, 20:27:53
Portnoy's Complaint forum