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MOBIUS
21-06-2005, 11:32:47
Inspired by potentially losing another poster to marriage...

Well I am going to put myself firmly in the anti camp...

Firstly there's the huge waste of money incurred getting married in the 1st place - thousands and thousands of pounds *poof* on one day...:rolleyes: At least Drekkus appears to have been clever here by getting married in Las Vegas.

Basically the major reasons as far as I can tell is no more sex - except to procreate:eek:

And no more counterglow! Or at least posting as often as having marital sex...:(

I mean, what do people do all day if they're not having sex and posting on CG?:p

So, what are the pros of marriage?

HelloKitty
21-06-2005, 11:37:08
YES!

And I promise that as long as I live in most of the US I will NOT get married!!!

The Norks
21-06-2005, 11:39:01
there are none. you don't even get tax breaks anymore.

MOBIUS
21-06-2005, 11:40:26
Can't even fiddle your tax?

BAN IT I SAY!:shoot:

MDA
21-06-2005, 11:46:19
There are tax penalties in a lot of cases here. Combined incomes can bump you to the next tax bracket.

Tizzy
21-06-2005, 13:50:49
In spite of my experiences, I'm not anti-marriage.

Funko
21-06-2005, 13:52:24
It should be banned if it stops people posting!

But no, not really banned, that would ruin all those great parties I get to go to .

mr.G
21-06-2005, 13:52:44
drekkus always posts when he is at "work" so nothing changes really

Tizzy
21-06-2005, 14:02:06
A friend of mine reckons if marriage was banned before the age of 30, it would dramatically cut the divorce rate. She may have a point.

MDA
21-06-2005, 14:20:20
My best friend's father tried to forbid him marriage until after he was 30. Then he pleaded instead, and that didn't work either. He got married when he was 25, and that's not exactly young.

So far, so good. :beer:

mr.G
21-06-2005, 14:23:43
marriage carriage.

my post makes no sense at all, woooohoooo feels great tho.

MDA
21-06-2005, 14:24:29
doooo
di
doooo

mr.G
21-06-2005, 14:25:24
:bounce:
di
:bounce:

protein
21-06-2005, 14:31:18
I don't see the point in it unless you are religious.

Greg W
21-06-2005, 14:33:30
What's the point in saying I love you over and over again then?

Spartak
21-06-2005, 14:39:12
YOu used to get extra allowances abroad if you were married but these days the Foreign Office will pay them to anyine as long as you certify you are in a long term relationship.

Funko
21-06-2005, 14:41:05
In the UK the legal situation with kids is still a bit complicated if you aren't married. Dad doesn't automatically get custody if the mother dies etc.

Not a problem but you need to make sure you get all the legal stuff very carefully worked out.

Qaj the Fuzzy Love Worm
21-06-2005, 15:11:49
Originally posted by HelloKitty
YES!

And I promise that as long as I live in most of the US I will NOT get married!!!

Are you trying to tell us you're fatter than Venom now?

Gary
21-06-2005, 15:17:25
:lol: Can imagine spilling out around the edges

The Norks
21-06-2005, 15:57:20
actually there are benefits to being married in the forces: I've been with DH 2.5 years and we've lived together for about 1.5 years. As it stands, if he is killed in action, or in any fashion actually, I won't get a widow's pension or any sort of entitlement to his effects. It will go to his mother (unless he has specifically stipulated in his will, and lets be frank: he's just not that organised).

If we were married however, we'd be entitled to married quarters, ie a two bedroom house at a minimal rent, I'd get a widow's pension if anything happened to him, and I'd be entitled to his assets.

When we moved in together we had to work our mortgage and insurance so that it covered these eventualities because otherwise I'm unprotected in law.

This is the main reason I have never bumped him off......yet :D

Funko
21-06-2005, 16:03:16
Yeah, being married makes a lot of stuff happen automatically that you otherwise have to make your own legal provision for.

The Norks
21-06-2005, 16:10:01
our lawyer told us there is no such thing as a common law wife. Its basically popular myth. I have no more rights than a stranger when it comes to lee. However I would quite relish taking the RAF up on that, as a lot of women are now doing (some were threatened with eviction after their partners died in Iraq- wtf?? Some had kids too)

Funko
21-06-2005, 16:31:58
Yeah, it's just a phrase you need it to all be legal in posh law. :D

Anyway, what's cheaper, quick registry office ceremony in your jeans with a couple of witnesses or all the lawyer fees to get things tied up with contracts. ;)

King_Ghidra
21-06-2005, 16:41:20
Originally posted by The Norks
our lawyer told us there is no such thing as a common law wife. Its basically popular myth.

yeah exactly, and this page rather neatly sums it up:

http://www.divorce.co.uk/hottopics/articles/cohabitants.htm

Funko
21-06-2005, 16:42:27
I'm always surprised how few people know that.

King_Ghidra
21-06-2005, 16:50:52
because the education system doesn't teach you silly insignificant things like this

it teaches you about the dissolution of the fucking monastaries

Funko
21-06-2005, 16:57:27
That could well be the kind of stuff they were teaching us in PSE but how would anyone know? :D

It's a fair point though. That and how to manage your finances, pensions, how you can get fucked up on credit cards/loans etc.

Still it's the sort of thing I naively think is important enough that people would bother to research properly.

King_Ghidra
21-06-2005, 17:00:53
sure, i just think the emphasis is the wrong way round.

better to spend a little time teaching people some really important stuff that might effect their lives, and let them bother to research history (or whatever, no particular axe to grind against that subject)

The Norks
21-06-2005, 17:03:59
I agree with K_G, although it has to be said that this is supposedly what 'Citizenship' studies now cover. Personal finances and legal rights should be paramount in my view

Funko
21-06-2005, 17:06:43
Yeah, I think we basically agree. No reason you can't do a bit of both.

The Norks
21-06-2005, 17:07:17
Originally posted by Funko
That could well be the kind of stuff they were teaching us in PSE but how would anyone know? :D

It's a fair point though. That and how to manage your finances, pensions, how you can get fucked up on credit cards/loans etc.

Still it's the sort of thing I naively think is important enough that people would bother to research properly.

reseraching it properly when you're 18 and everyone is throwing credit at you, is probably no incentive. I think they need to tighten up credit laws and restrict the amount of credit allowed to certain groups of people ie unemployed, students, long term sick etc.

Also- its easy to think you've researched properly, and its very easy to get tipped over the edge by increments. I speak from bitter experience :rolleyes:

Funko
21-06-2005, 17:07:25
Originally posted by The Norks
I agree with K_G, although it has to be said that this is supposedly what 'Citizenship' studies now cover. Personal finances and legal rights should be paramount in my view

Didn't have that in our day /old man.

King_Ghidra
21-06-2005, 17:09:07
no but sounds like progress

i presume they teach them the right words to the national anthem too :lol:

The Norks
21-06-2005, 17:11:54
As much as i don't think DH and I are in a position to marry right now (not least because of conflicting religious values and the sheer expense) I would be tempted to have a whatjacallit, official partnership registered or whatever its called. For legal reasons rather than romantic.

Nills Lagerbaak
21-06-2005, 17:12:10
What goes something like this doesn't it?

"Deutschland! Deutschland! Uber alles...."

The Norks
21-06-2005, 17:16:33
Originally posted by King_Ghidra
no but sounds like progress

i presume they teach them the right words to the national anthem too :lol:

theres more info here

http://www.qca.org.uk/2974_2326.html

I think this would have served me better than 'domestic science' in which I learned to grill rather than fry, and how to operate a washing machine. Very technical!

The Norks
21-06-2005, 17:18:58
Originally posted by Nills Lagerbaak
What goes something like this doesn't it?

"Deutschland! Deutschland! Uber alles...."


no, these days, its:

America


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


by Samuel F. Smith


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My country, 'tis of Thee,
Sweet Land of Liberty
Of thee I sing;
Land where my fathers died,
Land of the pilgrims' pride,
From every mountain side
Let Freedom ring.


My native country, thee,
Land of the noble free,
Thy name I love;
I love thy rocks and rills,
Thy woods and templed hills,
My heart with rapture thrills
Like that above.


Let music swell the breeze,
And ring from all the trees
Sweet Freedom's song;
Let mortal tongues awake;
Let all that breathe partake;
Let rocks their silence break,
The sound prolong.


Our fathers' God to Thee,
Author of Liberty,
To thee we sing,
Long may our land be bright
With Freedom's holy light,
Protect us by thy might
Great God, our King.


Our glorious Land to-day,
'Neath Education's sway,
Soars upward still.
Its hills of learning fair,
Whose bounties all may share,
Behold them everywhere
On vale and hill!


Thy safeguard, Liberty,
The school shall ever be,
Our Nation's pride!
No tyrant hand shall smite,
While with encircling might
All here are taught the Right
With Truth allied.


Beneath Heaven's gracious will
The stars of progress still
Our course do sway;
In unity sublime
To broader heights we climb,
Triumphant over Time,
God speeds our way!


Grand birthright of our sires,
Our altars and our fires
Keep we still pure!
Our starry flag unfurled,
The hope of all the world,
In peace and light impearled,
God hold secure!

Funko
21-06-2005, 17:20:05
Originally posted by The Norks
reseraching it properly when you're 18 and everyone is throwing credit at you, is probably no incentive. I think they need to tighten up credit laws and restrict the amount of credit allowed to certain groups of people ie unemployed, students, long term sick etc.

Also- its easy to think you've researched properly, and its very easy to get tipped over the edge by increments. I speak from bitter experience :rolleyes:

Er... I meant that I thought the common law wife thing would be something people made sure they understood when they had children/bought a house or whatever.

And then after what K_G said I suggested some other things that people should learn about at school like personal finances, dangers of loans etc.

I dunno. I don't think we need to legislate for what debt people can get into, that's just the kind of nanny state thing I don't like. As long as people understand things it's up to them.

Funko
21-06-2005, 17:22:53
Originally posted by The Norks
theres more info here

http://www.qca.org.uk/2974_2326.html

I think this would have served me better than 'domestic science' in which I learned to grill rather than fry, and how to operate a washing machine. Very technical!

I think teaching people to cook, eat well, look after the house is a very good thing, hugely important skill. Should be down to the parents but it's not happening...

Of course the fact that most domestic science/home economics teachers make the SS look mild mannered doesn't help.

Lazarus and the Gimp
21-06-2005, 17:25:08
It's like not being married, except you have better towels and saucepans.

Funko
21-06-2005, 17:26:09
I'm going to get that just by moving in with Tizzy. - but she's been married before which explains it. :)

Nills Lagerbaak
21-06-2005, 17:26:11
Agreed! It is also so important to remember you can grill not fry things.

One day they'll teach you how to wash a grill rack till it's clean enough not to encite the SS like wrath of the HE teacher!

The Norks
21-06-2005, 17:28:00
Originally posted by Funko
Er... I meant that I thought the common law wife thing would be something people made sure they understood when they had children/bought a house or whatever.

And then after what K_G said I suggested some other things that people should learn about at school like personal finances, dangers of loans etc.

I dunno. I don't think we need to legislate for what debt people can get into, that's just the kind of nanny state thing I don't like. As long as people understand things it's up to them.

ah well- a good solicitor will automatically point the choices out to you

and...I think we should legislate, I don't think its a nanny state thing to set limits on credit. The state has a responsibility to make sure financial institutions are not behaving irresponsibly, and many people think they are (look for instance at the interest rates and penalties on some cards, or at self-certified mortgages). In fact I think the Government is moving this way, having recently tightened up mortgages.

Funko
21-06-2005, 17:28:43
Yeah, there are slightly higher priorities than having your utensils prepared in EXACTLY the correct configuration before you start...

The Norks
21-06-2005, 17:33:04
Originally posted by Funko
I think teaching people to cook, eat well, look after the house is a very good thing, hugely important skill. Should be down to the parents but it's not happening...

Of course the fact that most domestic science/home economics teachers make the SS look mild mannered doesn't help.

I learnt more from my mother than I ever learnt in Domestic Science. Teaching someone to work a washing machine is bollocks- thats what instruction manuals are for. Grill rather than fry actuallybackfired- we proved that frying had removed more fat, much to the embarassment of the teacher lol.

I can see the value if its taught in a controlled way, and taught to BOYS as well as girls, but 'in my day' Domestic science (or cooking with a spot of how to wash your husbands shirts as it should really have been known) was only taught to ladies, and the boys at equivalent schools got CDT. I know my school has since instaled a CDT suite, but it was my mother who taught me to iron, cook and clean.

Funko
21-06-2005, 17:33:13
Originally posted by The Norks
ah well- a good solicitor will automatically point the choices out to you

and...I think we should legislate, I don't think its a nanny state thing to set limits on credit. The state has a responsibility to make sure financial institutions are not behaving irresponsibly, and many people think they are (look for instance at the interest rates and penalties on some cards, or at self-certified mortgages). In fact I think the Government is moving this way, having recently tightened up mortgages.

I don't really agree with much this governent is doing though.

Oh shit, got to get my train!

The Norks
21-06-2005, 17:35:03
Originally posted by Funko
I'm going to get that just by moving in with Tizzy. - but she's been married before which explains it. :)

Lee was married before but he's about as domestic as a bobcat

The Norks
21-06-2005, 17:37:22
Originally posted by Funko
I don't really agree with much this governent is doing though.

Oh shit, got to get my train!

fair enough, but I'm interested to see why you think financial institutions should be allowed to carry on as they are. That just allows them to take advantage of the ill informed or vulnerable. There were very specific reasons why the mortgage code was brought into practise, and they were to protect the consumer.

Tizzy
21-06-2005, 18:50:50
Originally posted by Funko
I'm going to get that just by moving in with Tizzy.

I knew there was a reason behind it :hmm:

Oerdin
21-06-2005, 19:16:16
Common law marriages most certainly are real in many American states. It's a hold over from the frontier days when people would shack up and there wasn't a priest or a government office to get the details formerly wrapped up so if you lived together for a certain period of time you just legally became married. The Federal tax laws also still give tax benifets to married couples, many companies still only give benifets to formal spouses and not domestic partners, and for government employees there are a ton of benifets the single guy doesn't get but the married guy does. In the military married housing is many times better then the single soldier's or Officer's housing, they get extra pay for each dependent, they get family seporation pay, when deployed they get money for cost of living & maintaining a household while the single guy loses that, etc.

Being married will increase your net pay in the miltary by 20%-40% even though you're working the same job.

Oerdin
21-06-2005, 19:22:42
In my school only girls went to home economics while the guys went to shop class to learn how to use power tools. Bother were optional in theory but you were automatically enrolled in them unless your parents wrote the school saying not to enroll you.

A running joke with the guys was we should write to get into home econ so we'd have quality time with half the girls in school. ;) I also knew a guy who signed up for the cheerleading team; we all made fun of him but he got laid all the frigging time when the rest of us were sitting on park benches wondering where to find girls. :(

The Higgelhoff
21-06-2005, 19:23:41
After much deliberation I think Lucinda and I will be getting married abroad. Most likely in the Dominican Republic.

Marriages cost rediculous amounts and we're more concerned about moving away from the shit-hole of a street we currently reside at in Eccles.

The average wedding cost is around 16,000 but we could get married abroad with close friends and family for around 3000-4000.

Tizzy
21-06-2005, 19:29:40
Weddings don't have to be horribly expensive. Yes, they are if you go for the full church ceremony-sit down meal for everyone you've ever met-big party afterwards option, but there's loads of other ways to do it, and loads of ways to cut costs.

mr.G
21-06-2005, 19:31:25
yaaaay you can sneak out to LAS VEGAS

snotverdomme

The Higgelhoff
21-06-2005, 19:36:51
Originally posted by Tizzy
Weddings don't have to be horribly expensive. Yes, they are if you go for the full church ceremony-sit down meal for everyone you've ever met-big party afterwards option, but there's loads of other ways to do it, and loads of ways to cut costs.

A simple church wedding and small(50 people) private function can cost in excess of 5,000.

I'd loved to have been married 2 years ago but our lack of finances have stopped us :(

Oerdin
21-06-2005, 19:41:07
Some friends of mine from College got married right after we graduated and had the service in a field in the local National Forest. It was a nice area high up in the mountains with lots of grass, trees, and a stream for the kids to play in. It cost nothing and since her mother owned a catering business they got the catering free and only had to pay to rent the portable chairs, the tables, awnings, etc...

It was very nice and only got a couple thousand.

Japher
21-06-2005, 19:49:37
Friends of ours got married a couple years back and they spent $7500 for the whole reception upto 150 people. The place it was help was a deli during the week, but was in a buisness district so it had awesome gardens and lawns and on the weekends was empty. It was a very nice reception, and it was right next to a hotel, so when the time ran out on the hall we hopped over to the hotel bar and got smashed.

I don't think weddings need be expensive. I am going to my cousins this weekend, and I will be surprised if the spend over $5k on the whole deal.

mr.G
21-06-2005, 20:06:59
a friend of mine got married in VEGAS.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Oerdin
21-06-2005, 20:22:29
If you want to do an inexpensive yet highly memorable wedding then it is very hard to beat Vegas. ;)

Japher
21-06-2005, 20:24:04
My cousin got married to her second husband in Vegas, it was very nice... Of course she is on to her 3rd husband now.

Oerdin
21-06-2005, 20:24:52
DUH!

Japher
21-06-2005, 20:28:04
The third wedding was on St. Lucia. We couldn't afford to go, but I hear it was very nice.

Lazarus and the Gimp
21-06-2005, 20:53:52
Originally posted by Funko
I'm going to get that just by moving in with Tizzy. - but she's been married before which explains it. :)

Are you going to do the sort of thing you did when living with Shaker? Where you lived in the same house, yet still communicated with each other via the internet?

Lazarus and the Gimp
21-06-2005, 20:54:53
I got married at 25. Too young? Too old? Who knows.

Tizzy
21-06-2005, 21:00:21
Originally posted by Lazarus and the Gimp
Are you going to do the sort of thing you did when living with Shaker? Where you lived in the same house, yet still communicated with each other via the internet?

It's happened before, it'll probably happen again *sigh*

mr.G
21-06-2005, 21:23:31
pssssssssst

Japher
21-06-2005, 21:24:28
ohoh! MrG is leaking!!!

MDA
21-06-2005, 21:54:23
There's a hole in his dike!

MOBIUS
21-06-2005, 22:45:50
Originally posted by Oerdin
If you want to do an inexpensive yet highly memorable wedding then it is very hard to beat Vegas. ;)

Yeah, just ask BGH...;)

Greg W
22-06-2005, 00:43:00
Originally posted by Tizzy
It's happened before, it'll probably happen again *sigh* :lol:

Funko
22-06-2005, 10:10:36
Originally posted by The Norks
Lee was married before but he's about as domestic as a bobcat

The ex wife probably has all the towels and pans. :)

Funko
22-06-2005, 10:11:41
Originally posted by The Norks
fair enough, but I'm interested to see why you think financial institutions should be allowed to carry on as they are. That just allows them to take advantage of the ill informed or vulnerable. There were very specific reasons why the mortgage code was brought into practise, and they were to protect the consumer.

Yeah, sorry. I got dragged away.

My point was - I definitely think people should be informed, no argument there. They should then allowed to do what they want even if it's really stupid.

Funko
22-06-2005, 10:13:20
Originally posted by Lazarus and the Gimp
Are you going to do the sort of thing you did when living with Shaker? Where you lived in the same house, yet still communicated with each other via the internet?

:lol:

Already done that. :o

:nervous:

Greg W
22-06-2005, 14:47:29
Let me guess, one of you was "staying over" and you somehow communicated via the internet?

Funko
22-06-2005, 14:58:10
Good guess, what gave you the clue?

Both of us saying we'd done that? :cute:

Tizzy
22-06-2005, 15:07:02
Wow, Greg is the schjmart one today :rolleyes:

MDA
22-06-2005, 16:36:47
Imagine getting a "wanna cyber?" from someone in the next room. :lol:

Funko
22-06-2005, 16:37:32
Try living with The Shaker!

mr.G
22-06-2005, 16:38:06
why?

Funko
22-06-2005, 16:38:47
He makes good hot dogs.

mr.G
22-06-2005, 16:41:54
It may come strange and totally out of the blue but I am a kind of difficult to live with.

naaah

MDA
22-06-2005, 17:25:27
difficult, but never boring?