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Greg W
21-06-2005, 01:45:27
With a new girlfriend who's an England supporter, and loves putting shit on me when they beat us, I need some ammo to throw back at her. Plus it's just fun putting shit on the Poms. ;)

So, help me Obi Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope... :D

1) England had a war with France which lasted 100 years and they still couldn't beat them. Germany managed the feat in 43 days.

2) 37 years between World Cups. And they needed different sports to manage the feat.

Greg W
21-06-2005, 01:53:45
3) It's apparently foggy 200 days per year. :lol:

Koshko
21-06-2005, 03:57:15
http://www.godlessmotherfucker.com/rants/england.html

Koshko
21-06-2005, 04:01:46
4) They had pointless extra vowels in words. It's humor not humour dammit!

5) There are appearently 5 dentists in the entire country.

jsorense
21-06-2005, 04:30:03
6) through 60)
Royals :rolleyes:

The Norks
21-06-2005, 05:19:02
I've never understood why people from foreign countries think London is foggy. I think it dates from Industrial times when whole cities would be shrouded in smoke and people would die of asphyxiation.

And there are only about 5 NHS dentists left- the rest are private dentists and they will be happy to charge you a fortune toi prove their existence :)

I'm not helping am I? :D

HelloKitty
21-06-2005, 07:02:09
61- All the ladies are taken thanks to this man.

http://www.digikitten.com/playhousev2/files/mrchuffy/HelloDave.jpg

Oerdin
21-06-2005, 08:10:48
Chavs X 101

Funko
21-06-2005, 09:25:30
Australians are such good losers. :lol:

Shining1
21-06-2005, 10:22:22
Take away Aussie sporting prowess and you have Crocodile Dundee and the two Matrix sequels. =)

Funko
21-06-2005, 10:23:54
My Aussie cowie sent me this:

From the Sydney morning herald sports forum

Please read no further if you are easily offended.

Gulp. i thought this was suppose to be friendly rivalry:

"The English mentality craves both domination and humiliation. When the English win they assume they are 'natural rulers'. But this sets them up to lose because they can't imagine or deal with effective opposition to their sense of natural authority. They continue to be self indulgent in defeat, losing significantly and taking pleasure in the public hiding. This is the weakness in the social character of the English which rendered them helpless in two world wars and will bring about their defeat in this test series. "

:lol:

you suxor.

MOBIUS
21-06-2005, 10:31:06
So this gf, is she English then?

Funko
21-06-2005, 10:50:18
Maybe she's just a Glory Hunter. :cute:

HelloKitty
21-06-2005, 11:02:09
A glory holer?

The Norks
21-06-2005, 11:34:17
how exactly were we rendered helpless in two world wars???

all this aussie talk reminds me of my fave joke:

An Englishman an Australian and a South African
are in a London bar one night having a beer.
All of a sudden the South African downs his beer, throws his glass in the air, pulls out a gun and shoots the glass to pieces and says "In Sath Efrika our glasses are so cheap that we don't need to drink from the same one twice".
The Aussie, obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the glass to pieces and says "Well mate in 'straaaaaaaailia we have so much sand to make the glasses that we don't need to drink out of the same glass twice either".
The Englishman, cool as a cucumber, picks up his beer and drinks it, throws the glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the South African and the Australian and says, "In London we have so many bloody South Africans and Australians that we don't need to drink with the same one twice". :D

HelloKitty
21-06-2005, 11:36:22
Originally posted by The Norks
how exactly were we rendered helpless in two world wars???

all this aussie talk reminds me of my fave joke:

An Englishman an Australian and a South African
are in a London bar one night having a beer.
All of a sudden the South African downs his beer, throws his glass in the air, pulls out a gun and shoots the glass to pieces and says "In Sath Efrika our glasses are so cheap that we don't need to drink from the same one twice".
The Aussie, obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the glass to pieces and says "Well mate in 'straaaaaaaailia we have so much sand to make the glasses that we don't need to drink out of the same glass twice either".
The Englishman, cool as a cucumber, picks up his beer and drinks it, throws the glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the South African and the Australian and says, "In London we have so many bloody South Africans and Australians that we don't need to drink with the same one twice". :D

Englishmen don't have guns. He must have been an American actor practicing his accent for a major motion picture since you don't have any good actors.

The Norks
21-06-2005, 11:39:42
or a farmer

Funko
21-06-2005, 11:42:14
Originally posted by HelloKitty
Englishmen don't have guns. He must have been an American actor practicing his accent for a major motion picture since you don't have any good actors.

Good actors is the one thing we do have. Film stars we don't have many of, but actors? Millions.

MOBIUS
21-06-2005, 11:43:16
Maybe the Englishman clubbed the Saffer and the Aussie to death with an actor?

Funko
21-06-2005, 11:44:50
He could have shot an actor too, no need to drink with the same one twice and they are all out of work so can't buy a round anyway.

HelloKitty
21-06-2005, 11:45:26
Originally posted by Funko
Good actors is the one thing we do have. Film stars we don't have many of, but actors? Millions.

I would agree with you except I used to watch Doctor Who reruns.

:)

MOBIUS
21-06-2005, 11:46:50
That was all the good actors taking the piss and hamming it up...:)

The Norks
21-06-2005, 11:51:20
Originally posted by Funko
Good actors is the one thing we do have. Film stars we don't have many of, but actors? Millions.

how do you define the two?

HelloKitty
21-06-2005, 11:54:00
Originally posted by The Norks
how do you define the two?

His current crush on Jack Davenport defines a good actor, his bitterness that his childhood crush Rowen Atkinson ruined his career by becoming a movie star defines the other.

Funko
21-06-2005, 11:55:26
Originally posted by The Norks
how do you define the two?

I would say that Film Stars can get famous by good looks and Charisma but actors have to act.

They aren't mutually exclusive obviously.

HelloKitty
21-06-2005, 11:56:17
Oh funko....

http://shatterhand007.com/Number11Archives/Photos2003/NUMBER11JackDavenport.jpg

Funko
21-06-2005, 12:08:04
I hate that guy, he was just so annoying in This Life.

The Norks
21-06-2005, 12:12:10
I second that. He's a smug twat and has the acting capacity of balsa wood

fp
21-06-2005, 12:27:55
I agree he can't act but I like him anyway. This Life was an awesome show.

The Norks
21-06-2005, 12:44:58
it was but none of the characters were likeable, they were all smug, inadequate, or sexually incontinent

Funko
21-06-2005, 12:48:07
Except Egg. He was great.

King_Ghidra
21-06-2005, 13:57:31
we don't seem to have 101 yet...

Funko
21-06-2005, 13:58:56
We skipped up to it really fast. See Kitty and Oerdin's posts.

Cruddy
21-06-2005, 14:01:45
Best argument against the UK? About 300,000 people leave every year to go and live somewhere else.

One day I'll be one of them.

Funko
21-06-2005, 14:05:06
It seems like every year 300,000 bloody Australians come over here to replace them though.

Greg W
21-06-2005, 14:39:08
Originally posted by The Norks
I've never understood why people from foreign countries think London is foggy.Funko knows that I mean. ;)

Originally posted by Mobius
So this gf, is she English then?Actually I can't even own goal that one, cos the answer ain't the obvious one. Her parents are both English, and migrated here before they ahd kids. So she and her brothers have been brought up with parents who support England, so she does too.

That's her excuse anyways.

Spartak
21-06-2005, 14:40:18
:hmm: Well it means at least one of you will be happy at the end of every cricket match this summer.

Greg W
21-06-2005, 14:40:19
Originally posted by Shining1
Take away Aussie sporting prowess and you have Crocodile Dundee and the two Matrix sequels. =) Don't forget Mission Impossible 2. ;)

Greg W
21-06-2005, 14:41:25
Originally posted by Spartak
:hmm: Well it means at least one of you will be happy at the end of every cricket match this summer. Yeah. With any luck I'll be comforting her a lot. Though not on current form...

The Norks
21-06-2005, 16:03:18
Originally posted by Funko
Except Egg. He was great.

I'd put him in the inadequate category. Even more so when he resurfaced in the even more irritating Teachers.

I quite like Daniella Nardini, she was a bitch. I loved it when someone threw a drink in her face and she said (without missing a beat) you should have told me you were going to do that, I'd have opened my mouth :lol:

I also liked Milly finally showing some balls and slapping that tart in the last episode when Warren came back.

Actually Warren was cool, but then I likes a Welshie :D

Funko
21-06-2005, 16:04:12
I meant the character not the actor, he ditched being a lawyer to do something he enjoyed instead. That ruled.

The Norks
21-06-2005, 16:05:38
Originally posted by Greg W
Yeah. With any luck I'll be comforting her a lot. Though not on current form...

so Greg-

the two questions on everybody's lips-

1) is she now officially your girlfriend?
2) have you made the marsupial with two backs yet?


:D

The Norks
21-06-2005, 16:07:18
Originally posted by Funko
I meant the character not the actor, he ditched being a lawyer to do something he enjoyed instead. That ruled.

Its just a shame about everything else he did and said.

Funko
21-06-2005, 16:29:24
Originally posted by The Norks
so Greg-

the two questions on everybody's lips-

1) is she now officially your girlfriend?
2) have you made the marsupial with two backs yet?


:D

Something must be going on if he needs 101 reasons why she should suck.

Japher
21-06-2005, 16:31:09
Maybe she started sucking

mr.G
21-06-2005, 18:16:00
slikt ze?

The Norks
21-06-2005, 18:24:17
slikkert

Japher
21-06-2005, 18:41:16
taste the rainbow

Greg W
22-06-2005, 00:50:05
Originally posted by The Norks
so Greg-

the two questions on everybody's lips-

1) is she now officially your girlfriend?
2) have you made the marsupial with two backs yet?


:D 1) There's official paperwork for that these days? I have been out of the game too long. :confused:

2) A gentleman wouldn't answer such questions. Which is no excuse for me, I know, but you can remain guessing nonetheless. Specially as you never get on MSN, you slacker. :p

But, having said all that, I think you could call us boyfriend/girlfriend now. Which is really hard to get used to. I'm so used to referring to my wife, referring to my girlfriend is going to be difficult to get used to. Just got to remember not to call her my wife, nor introduce her to others as my wife. :nervous:

Koshko
22-06-2005, 05:07:14
# whatever ...
That wacky accent.

Funko
22-06-2005, 10:09:20
"Just got to remember not to call her my wife, nor introduce her to others as my wife."

:lol:

A few of my uni friends tended to refer to their girlfriends as "the wife" and now they are all married.... one of them said the other day "it's crazy, sometimes I call her 'the wife' and then realise she actually is!! :eek: "

Which made me laugh. :lol:

Venom
22-06-2005, 13:09:55
English actors....Hugh Grant and ummm.....well Ewan MacGregor, except he's not English so how about that other guy. You know...yeah. Him.

Funko
22-06-2005, 13:43:15
Professor X and Magneto...

Venom
22-06-2005, 13:59:47
Hmmmm. Patrick Stewart is good, but the gay guy can, and certainly will, go eat a dick.

Funko
22-06-2005, 14:21:59
That's Sir gay guy to you.

Venom
22-06-2005, 14:40:52
You Englishers and your penchant for knighting gay guys.

Funko
22-06-2005, 14:54:46
We're all gay don't forget.

:rolleyes:

MOBIUS
23-06-2005, 20:42:40
...and twats...

This is a pretty pathetic 101 reasons thread considering we haven't even got to 101 posts yet...:rolleyes:

The Norks
23-06-2005, 21:03:47
isnt that because England is naturally superior to Australia? :cute:

Provost Harrison
23-06-2005, 22:46:04
Naturally :cute:

Greg W
24-06-2005, 01:22:12
The fact most of you are Poms wouldn't have anything to do with that? :cute:

Tizzy
24-06-2005, 01:27:28
Of course not :cute:

(And I'm not even a Pom!)

Greg W
24-06-2005, 01:31:02
You're a Pom by association and conquest.

The Norks
24-06-2005, 02:02:12
and you're a convict by birthright, we don't hold it against you tho :D

No longer Trippin
24-06-2005, 02:07:00
So what the hell does that make us in the States?

The Norks
24-06-2005, 02:19:20
revolting puritans


you can't blame me for these views- blame history :cute:

No longer Trippin
24-06-2005, 02:26:43
Well if you've seen Venom, you got the revolting part right.

The Norks
24-06-2005, 02:36:38
:lol:

Funko
24-06-2005, 11:32:02
Originally posted by The Norks
and you're a convict by birthright, we don't hold it against you tho :D

Yes we do!

Greg W
24-06-2005, 17:18:45
Originally posted by The Norks
and you're a convict by birthright, we don't hold it against you tho :D Get into a sailor's outfit, and you can hold anything you want against me. ;)

Oerdin
24-06-2005, 17:42:52
U R ALL GAY TWATS!!!!

Shining1
25-06-2005, 12:42:40
Not sure of the exact number, but I think I saw 8 or so reasons England sucks in the Lions game tonight... =)

Greg W
26-06-2005, 01:40:48
:lol:

The Norks
26-06-2005, 20:35:36
Originally posted by Greg W
Get into a sailor's outfit, and you can hold anything you want against me. ;)

don't come the raw prawn with me :D

Greg W
27-06-2005, 00:52:48
Look, we've been there done that, let's not start again. :p