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View Full Version : Tom Cruise squirted!


The Norks
20-06-2005, 17:23:48
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/film/4107922.stm

A stunt that went horribly wrong and cringey. The Cruiser is a bit scary if you ask me.

Funko
20-06-2005, 17:26:03
:lol:

What's funny about it is his reaction.

Spartak
20-06-2005, 17:29:58
C4 have apparantly apologised.

Apparantly some oaf filled it with water instead of acid.

Doh!

The Norks
20-06-2005, 17:32:05
Originally posted by Funko
:lol:

What's funny about it is his reaction.

it gave me chills, he has that dead eyed look.

I think its funny that they thought they'd get away with it. Its clearly a hugely stupid thing to do, especially to someone like him who is so up his own ass

Chris
20-06-2005, 17:35:08
Commedy dousings of celebs?

Seems kind of stupid, but it might be amusing.

The Norks
20-06-2005, 17:38:55
technically its assault, in the uk anyways

Provost Harrison
20-06-2005, 17:41:18
So this is where my hard earned dosh that goes in council tax to support the Met is going - fucking questioning people who squirt a bit of water in some vertically-challenged cunt celebrity's face :rolleyes:

Chris
20-06-2005, 17:42:08
Its assault here also, its actully really stupid.

Provost Harrison
20-06-2005, 17:43:03
Mind you, they should be grateful it wasn't John Prescott, they'd have all been beaten up :lol:

Dyl Ulenspiegel
20-06-2005, 17:51:42
Originally posted by Chris
Its assault here also

Whiny Pinko Pussies.

Chris
20-06-2005, 17:53:23
We even let dopey Austrians be governors around this country.

protein
20-06-2005, 18:00:09
It was really not very funny at all. I'd have been really pissed off. I'm impressed that he didn't swear or kick off in any way and then went on to do a load more autographs. I'd have been furious.

Debaser
20-06-2005, 18:07:39
Yeah, I was quite impressed by his reaction too. Don't see what was funny or scary about it at all. I like the way the guy that did the squirting just kind of mumbled like a guilty schoolboy when Tom Cruise asked him why he did it.

Dyl Ulenspiegel
20-06-2005, 18:25:51
Originally posted by Chris
We even let dopey Austrians be governors around this country.

Well, that happens here, too.

Venom
20-06-2005, 18:56:51
Tom Cruise and his alien overlords will devour your soul.

The Norks
20-06-2005, 19:22:48
i say he's scary. They should have got Dennis Pennis to do it not some goon who stands there waiting for a lecture.

fp
20-06-2005, 19:36:32
I'm with protein and debaser on this one. It's was a stupid prank and not funny in any way.

It also goes to show what a load of cack gets on TV these days. Randomly squirting people with water pistols and laughing when they get mad is not big or clever or funny. Isn't this basically what all those happy slapper kids are demonised for in the Daily Mail? If they started working for Channel 4 they'd get paid to be total arseholes!

fp
20-06-2005, 19:39:04
Originally posted by Dyl Ulenspiegel
Well, that happens here, too.

:lol:

Funko
20-06-2005, 19:41:21
Yeah, the prank was rubbish but Cruise was hillarious. Just treated him like a little naughty schoolkid.

The Norks
20-06-2005, 19:43:59
wait fp- i think you could sell that idea to Channel 4!!

Venom
20-06-2005, 19:53:55
Originally posted by Funko
Yeah, the prank was rubbish but Cruise was hillarious. Just treated him like a little naughty schoolkid.

Shades of the old Cruise. I'd have thought new Crazy Cruise would have jumped up and down on his face.

The Norks
20-06-2005, 19:56:24
i liked the way he held on to his hands while telling him off

Funko
20-06-2005, 20:00:34
Originally posted by fp
I'm with protein and debaser on this one. It's was a stupid prank and not funny in any way.

It also goes to show what a load of cack gets on TV these days. Randomly squirting people with water pistols and laughing when they get mad is not big or clever or funny. Isn't this basically what all those happy slapper kids are demonised for in the Daily Mail? If they started working for Channel 4 they'd get paid to be total arseholes!

That is a channel 4 series already, I've seen it!

Cruddy
20-06-2005, 20:26:53
Originally posted by The Norks
technically its assault, in the uk anyways

Just goes to show what utter bollocks UK law is.

The Norks
20-06-2005, 20:51:04
its not bollocks, of course its assault- you cant just allow people to throw stuff in each others faces in the street. Where do you draw the line? Its very shocking to be the victim of an assault, no matter whether it leaves you with physical damage or not.

Funko
20-06-2005, 20:53:53
Agreed. Even threatening behaviour can be assault.

The Norks
20-06-2005, 20:57:14
yep, and is it funny to squirt a pensioner with water? or a child? hm...

its also assault when a car splashes you with water from the road, unfortunately they usually go so fast you cant get the plate

Funko
20-06-2005, 20:58:53
:lol:

Tizzy
20-06-2005, 20:59:42
And you're also too busy swearing/shaking off water to think of that

Cruddy
20-06-2005, 21:08:56
Originally posted by The Norks
its not bollocks, of course its assault- you cant just allow people to throw stuff in each others faces in the street. Where do you draw the line? Its very shocking to be the victim of an assault, no matter whether it leaves you with physical damage or not.

Ooh, cold water in the face - INSTANTLY LETHAL.

Funko
20-06-2005, 21:09:36
Presumeably that's why it's assault, not murder.

Cruddy
20-06-2005, 21:10:07
Originally posted by Funko
Agreed. Even threatening behaviour can be assault.

Words don't leave bruises.

I always thought threatening behaviour was stupid. If you're goint to hit someone, do it.

Don't let 'em know about it beforehand.

Funko
20-06-2005, 21:11:33
If it's on children and even just does as little as leaves bruises it's ABH. (actual bodily harm for non UK readers)

Tizzy
20-06-2005, 21:11:42
Maybe not visible bruises.

Cruddy
20-06-2005, 21:15:23
Originally posted by Funko
If it's on children and even just does as little as leaves bruises it's ABH. (actual bodily harm for non UK readers)

Ah, so that's why corporal punishment got banned. Because it hurts people.

In case you've never noticed, pain can be a wonderful social conditioner.

And as for squirting children or indeed hitting them - depends how far they go.

Didn't you say the law was about boundaries? Well, I'm pissed off with people always jumping my boundaries and not getting hit about it.

I always show restraint. I haven't permanently crippled or killed anyone.

YET.

Funko
20-06-2005, 21:17:38
What does "jumping my boundaries" mean?

Cruddy
20-06-2005, 21:19:46
Either;-

a) Getting on my tits repeatedly with no thought that I might actually strike out.

b) Treating me with such utter contempt, again with no thought that I might actually strike out.

EDIT: Anyway, remember when Prescott got an egg thrown at him.

Right jab straight back. Bam. No charges.

fp
20-06-2005, 21:42:38
note: Cruddy thinks it should be legal to hit children if they annoy you.

Provost Harrison
20-06-2005, 21:44:53
Sounds like a good idea to me :)

fp
20-06-2005, 21:45:43
*punches Rich in the face*

fp
20-06-2005, 21:46:05
damn! forgot my mobile....

Provost Harrison
20-06-2005, 21:47:57
Now that's not very nice...

The Norks
20-06-2005, 21:51:53
Originally posted by Cruddy
Words don't leave bruises.

I always thought threatening behaviour was stupid. If you're goint to hit someone, do it.

Don't let 'em know about it beforehand.

words do leave psychological damage tho.

If someone approached my nan in the street and threw water at her or threatened her, I doubt if she would just jauntily walk away feeling unharmed.

Provost Harrison
20-06-2005, 21:57:18
What if it was done in the name of family entertainment though? ;)

The Norks
20-06-2005, 22:10:21
lol

Cruddy
20-06-2005, 22:19:43
Originally posted by fp
note: Cruddy thinks it should be legal to hit children if they annoy you.

Originally posted by Cruddy
And as for squirting children or indeed hitting them - depends how far they go.

fp, how did you read that in? I said it depends how far they go?

Any punk who pulls a knife/hurls a brick can expect it inserted up their rectum at the very least.

If they actually hit me with it, I'm not so lenient.

Funnily enough, haven't had a problem with the local kids for a few years. I wonder why?

Cruddy
20-06-2005, 22:21:17
Originally posted by The Norks
words do leave psychological damage tho.

If someone approached my nan in the street and threw water at her or threatened her, I doubt if she would just jauntily walk away feeling unharmed.

I think you may be on the right track there - the law is there to protect the vulnerable.

As I am not so vulnerable I should clearly not expect the law to protect me, so I'll just have to bloody well do it myself.

KrazyHorse@home
20-06-2005, 22:54:48
I'm impressed by Cruise's reaction. He came out on top on that one.

The Norks
21-06-2005, 05:25:23
why are all the men 'impressed'? He looks like he barely restrained himself from ripping off the guys head and sucking his soul out through his gullet. Just another glimpse into the private psychosis that is the Cruiser.

Cumber
21-06-2005, 05:57:04
Maybe because he did restrain himself then?

Spartak
21-06-2005, 07:04:39
Am I alone in thinking it was funny?

Funko
21-06-2005, 09:19:17
Originally posted by The Norks
why are all the men 'impressed'? He looks like he barely restrained himself from ripping off the guys head and sucking his soul out through his gullet. Just another glimpse into the private psychosis that is the Cruiser.

I just thought his reaction was funny.

He should have run off to try and find a hose or a big bucket of water to get the guy back and started a massive red carpet water fight. That would have been impressive. :D

MOBIUS
21-06-2005, 10:36:35
I particularly liked the way he actually smiles when he gets squirted...:D

I think it was all an act - he just acted menacing, which was obviously very effective if The Norks thought he was scary.

Funko
21-06-2005, 10:50:44
He's never acted in his life, why would he start now?

The Norks
21-06-2005, 16:22:05
are you dissing the Cruiser?

YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!

protein
21-06-2005, 16:24:21
Originally posted by Funko
He should have run off to try and find a hose or a big bucket of water to get the guy back and started a massive red carpet water fight. That would have been impressive. :D
I believe it's quite hard to run in high heels.

The Norks
21-06-2005, 16:26:07
:lol: Cubans

protein
21-06-2005, 16:28:51
http://www.ukresistance.co.uk/ukr/pics/tompodiumbig.jpg

KrazyHorse@home
21-06-2005, 16:32:02
Originally posted by The Norks
why are all the men 'impressed'? He looks like he barely restrained himself from ripping off the guys head and sucking his soul out through his gullet.

Because I might've gone ahead and done it.

Probably not, but I would have been pissed.

The Norks
21-06-2005, 17:45:49
he's a closet psycho

I fear for Katie 'dull as a turd' Holmes

BigGameHunter
21-06-2005, 21:46:11
Closet psycho?
Come on, the guy is a closet fag for sure. All his exe's have been extremely tight lipped (pun intended) about their relationship(s) with him? Why do you think that is? Because they are handsomely paid beards, that's why, and Katie Holmes is going to put up with some weird shit for awhile and then they'll divorce. Aren't his kids adopted? Don't you think it odd that when someone points a phallic shaped object at his mouth and squirts fluid from it his first reaction is to hold the guy's hands?
Come on people...think!

Have you seen his first wife's (Mimi Rogers) tits? Would any hetero man divorce that? I think not.

The prosecution rests.

Venom
21-06-2005, 21:52:22
He's queer for sure.

The Norks
21-06-2005, 21:52:27
yeeeeeees...

a well reasoned argument

:nervous:

BigGameHunter
21-06-2005, 22:01:46
The witness for the prosecution:

http://www.perfect10bbw.com/4.jpg

The Norks
21-06-2005, 22:08:03
the red cross?

BigGameHunter
21-06-2005, 22:22:48
eh? Works for me....
Try ooopsshit!

Now that's a woman!!!

And if someone in her undies is porn, fuck off and I'm sorry. :)

Venom
21-06-2005, 22:22:59
It's LONG be HEAVILY rumored from all kinds of sources that he's gay. He's sued gay porn stars into silence in the past.

BigGameHunter
21-06-2005, 22:26:35
I just puts me giant cock in their mouths. Shuts 'em up good!

The Norks
21-06-2005, 22:34:13
bgh i dont know what you think you're linking to, but I just got pages of 'nude celebs'

MOBIUS
21-06-2005, 22:41:57
Originally posted by protein
http://www.ukresistance.co.uk/ukr/pics/tompodiumbig.jpg

Why does EVERYBODY mix up their definitions of "discrete"!?!?!?!?!?:clueless: :clueless: :clueless:

Hmmm, perhaps my outburst was a little indiscreet, but it really gets my goat...:cute:

BigGameHunter
21-06-2005, 22:44:09
Hmmm...ok...tame and should work I hope..
http://www.deansplanet.com/images/celebs/broads/bra-sizes/mimi.jpg

MOBIUS
21-06-2005, 22:46:35
How very discreet of you BGH...:p

The Norks
21-06-2005, 23:07:43
is that Pierce Brosnan's wife?

MOBIUS
21-06-2005, 23:31:11
I thought BGH's sig was very apt after that pic...:D

Debaser
22-06-2005, 11:57:03
Stolen from Popbitch, but I thought it was funny...

http://www.jinxedmedia.com/tomcruise.gif

Funko
22-06-2005, 11:59:32
:lol:

mr.G
22-06-2005, 12:05:23
:lol:

fp
22-06-2005, 12:22:30
:lol:

Venom
22-06-2005, 13:05:35
Now that's pretty funny.

Debaser
23-06-2005, 12:36:17
Much better hi-res version complete with sound here: http://movies.collegehumor.com/media/movies/tom_cruise_kills_oprah.mov