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Japher
17-06-2005, 16:58:57
Any advice?

---

Dear Sir,

It with great pleasure that I quit, effective immediately.

That is all.

Japher

Cruddy
17-06-2005, 17:04:17
Dear XX,

This letter consitutes formal notice of my intention to cease being employed at this organisation effective XX date as per my contract.

Up yer bum.

Yours etc

Fistandantilus
17-06-2005, 17:05:51
That 'up yer bum' is pure class. :D

Gary
17-06-2005, 17:09:59
I always favour the "War & Peace" style. They may not get read in their entirety, but they help get things off your chest :D

The Norks
17-06-2005, 17:11:09
Dear Cocksmoker,

I have despised my time at XXX, and can honestly say that my colleagues have added nothing but disgust and misery to my life experience. I would also like to congatulate you, my boss, on your vast capacity for idiocy, bad decisions, and gratuitous arse licking. Every day spent here has been a day wasted, and I sincerely hope the next time I see any of you, will be the day Satan presents himself to the world in a parka and declares 'its fucking snowing down there!'

Yours with ingratitude,

*insert name here*

Tizzy
17-06-2005, 17:11:26
Dear ....

I'm outta here, so long suckers!!

Japher

Funko
17-06-2005, 17:11:42
ps. That was me you nearly caught jumping naked out of your daughter's window.

Cruddy
17-06-2005, 17:18:48
No no no no nO NO NO!

You give the formal note of resignation first.

After that, write what you like that isn't libellous/defamatory. You've just quit, but there are legal constraints about what you can put in writing and get away with.

Funko
17-06-2005, 17:19:28
Is this a serious thread? :confused:

Japher
17-06-2005, 17:20:32
mentioning Satan is a good idea

as is the "up yer bum" phrase

ps. can I get a severence package?

Cumber
17-06-2005, 17:25:49
Dear Sir,

U R A GAY TWAT

I quit.

Your respectfully,

Japher

Cruddy
17-06-2005, 17:29:26
Originally posted by Funko
Is this a serious thread? :confused:

It could turn that way if Japher gets a libel writ slapped. Why take the risk?

Japher
17-06-2005, 17:33:51
Is this a serious thread?

I think I'd be able to decipher the serious posts from the not so serious posts.

The Norks
17-06-2005, 17:35:03
mine was deadly serious :)

Japher
17-06-2005, 17:52:34
I know

mr.G
17-06-2005, 18:20:07
Hmmmmmmm my serious posts you can count on one hand.

mr.G
17-06-2005, 18:20:49
Can't you go to your boss and tell him?

mr.G
17-06-2005, 18:21:46
okay no.1

Name, Position, Organisation Name and Address (each on a separate line)

Date

Dear (line manager name - eg., Mr Smith, or first name if appropriate)

Please accept this as formal notice of my resignation from the position of (your job title and site/department/division as applicable), with effect from (normally date of the letter or receipt of letter - check your contract - if in doubt refer to date of letter).

In accordance with my contract of employment I am happy to continue to work until (date that your employment ceases according to notice period, calculated from your stated effective date of resignation).

(This part is optional:) While I believe that I am moving for good reasons, I am sorry to leave, and I thank you for your support during my time with the company, which I have found enjoyable and fulfilling.

(And if applicable:) Please let me know the arrangements for handing back equipment, company car, etc, and handing over outstanding work and responsibilities.

Yours sincerely etc.

mr.G
17-06-2005, 18:22:28
no. 2

Name, Position, Organisation Name and Address (each on a separate line)

Date

Dear (line manager name - eg., Mr Smith, or first name if appropriate)

Please accept this as formal notice of my resignation from the position of (your job title and site/department/division as applicable), with effect from (normally date of the letter or receipt of letter - check your contract - if in doubt refer to date of letter).

I realise that my contract of employment requires me to work until (date that your employment ceases according to notice period, calculated from your stated effective date of resignation), however I'd be grateful to be released earlier on (date that you actually need to leave), and will assume that this is acceptable unless you inform me to the contrary.

(This part is optional:) While I believe that I am moving for good reasons, I am sorry to leave, and I thank you for your support during my time with the company, which I have found enjoyable and fulfilling.

(And if applicable:) Please let me know the arrangements for handing back equipment, company car, etc, and handing over outstanding work and responsibilities.

Yours sincerely etc.

mr.G
17-06-2005, 18:22:54
no.3

give back you thief you

Japher
17-06-2005, 18:24:11
dooooooooooo
di
dooooooooooo

mr.G
17-06-2005, 18:24:35
no.5

Dear boss,

I'm gone
don't give a fuck


go fuckyourselfy,

Japher
(bananathief)

protein
17-06-2005, 18:26:03
Get a post it note, write this on it

Dear fuckface,

Go and fucking fuck yourself and your stupid fucking job you useless cunt.

*insert name here*

stick it backwards on your knuckles with a bit of spit and then go and punch your boss in the face.

Japher
17-06-2005, 18:30:42
I don't hate my boss like Tissy, but not bad protein

mr.G
17-06-2005, 18:47:07
Tissy?

hehehehehehehehehehehehehehe
dingding
hehehehehehe

Kory
17-06-2005, 19:15:12
My resignation letter read:

[boss] and [uberboss]:

Effective [date], I will be resigning my position at [company] to pursue other opportunities.

[signature]

Then I went around and told the co-workers I actually liked "I'm leaving this shithole" and similar sentiments.

To sum up:

Written = formal
Verbal = dis

-- Kory (Since then another half dozen people from my department have quit. I guess I started an exodus.)

No longer Trippin
17-06-2005, 19:29:52
It's not libel if it is true.

Venom
17-06-2005, 19:30:47
Then you burn the office down.

JM^3
17-06-2005, 20:02:19
you should say something like this:

Dear xxx

I regret to inform you that my assignment has moved to a different location. As such I must terminate employment with you.

Jon Miller

JM^3
17-06-2005, 20:04:23
or maybe this

Dear xxx

I am happy to inform you that (your organisation) is not under investigation. As such I will be needing to terminate my employment with you.

Sincerly

Jon Miller

Provost Harrison
17-06-2005, 22:53:05
Dear xxx.

I've wiped the server. That smouldering pile is the backup tapes.

See ya later, twat!

Rich

Cruddy
17-06-2005, 22:59:23
If you want to be pure EVIL;-

Dear XX,

This letter consitutes formal notice of my intention to cease being employed at this organisation effective XX date as per my contract.

In fact, I'm going right now. I've been having a long term affair with your spouse, and simply cannot tolerate the thought of you sleeping with them anymore.

It's you or me and there's no way you're going anywhere.

Two tips - my love in fact really loves it up the arse, and also appreciates someone with normal levels of hygeine.
Yours etc

Rothy
17-06-2005, 23:02:04
I think we are making the gross assumption that the recipient of these letters is likely to be a fuckface

Cruddy
17-06-2005, 23:08:35
How's that Rothy? I left the wording loose enough to cover male/female bosses.

Fuckface sounds a bit lame too me.

Rothy
17-06-2005, 23:11:06
Well HE started it!
not me

Oerdin
18-06-2005, 00:34:40
How about a good old fashioned "Fuck you all. I quit!" note?

Cruddy
18-06-2005, 01:30:33
Well, just so long as it's clearly dated.

I was trying to be original, but sometimes you can't beat tradition.

Funko
19-06-2005, 22:55:37
Originally posted by Cruddy
It could turn that way if Japher gets a libel writ slapped. Why take the risk?

That would turn it really funny wouldn't it? :cute: