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View Full Version : Tell me one thing


Greg W
16-06-2005, 01:45:42
In this case, something stupid that you did that could have seen you seriously injured, but that you escaped unscathed from...

In my case, when I was about 10 or 11, I was walking home from school through a park which had a cricket pitch in the middle. One of the blokes from my school rounded 4 or 5 of us up, and said that he wanted to jump over us all with his bike.

So, we all laid down on the cricket pitch, side to side, and he set up to jump over all of us. I was the stupid one that agreed to be the last person that he'd jump over.

Well, he cleared me, but only just. His tire did catch a bit of material on my shorts, though it did no real damage. But it did make me think that if he had of jumped a little shorter, I would have been an instant eunuch.

Your turn now...

Cruddy
16-06-2005, 01:56:39
While I was employed as a tech journalist, we went to a trade show in London.

Tagging along was a work experience teenager - brainless but a happy pup.

Silly fucker managed to spill his wallet onto the Tube train track.

Guess who was brave enough to jump down and rescue his plastic? Yep. Well, it was only 400,000 volts I was risking.

Met the Gormless twat a year later - he swore blind it was the boss that did it. What an ungrateful bastard!

protein
16-06-2005, 01:59:38
That's normal kid behaviour. We did that kind of stuff all the time when I was a kid. My brother used to drive his car around while I was laying on the bonnet. I think we also tried using a skateboard and rope for a kind of road ski pull thing.

I once rode on the back of a motorbike - to score some drugs - without a helmet at high speed on the pavement early in the morning after serving the driver - who I didn't know - beer all night in a pub.

I got into a stolen car driven by a drunk 14 year old kid who just ran away from a foster home. We then drove around at high speed while it slowly dawned on me what was going on.

I sat in a flat while a yardie pimp and his ho made crack cocaine on the stove and then accepted a toot on his crack pipe.

I drove someone's parent's car to a petrol station to get fags after drinking a bottle of whisky. When we drove back we went into the woods and ceremonially burned our underwear on a big bonfire.

I think those are all the most stupid and dangerous things I've ever done. Things that make me wince when I think about them anyway.

I'm really rather boring, safe and healthy nowerdays.

protein
16-06-2005, 02:07:39
oh, and I once went to try to score some cocaine from a big yardie drug dealing house after a small time rasta dealer said they might be able to help me. one of the yardie guys listened to what I had to say, went and put on a thick trench coat (oooh shit) grabbed me by the arm (ooooh fuck) and marched me across the road (oh dear god no) to the guy who sent me there and the rasta guy at the house was so scared he was shaking and stuttering. eventually i was let go after I explained how i'm a bit fucking deaf and stupid and the rasta guy said "dope" not "coke".

Cruddy
16-06-2005, 02:19:34
Protein, no doubt you were shitting youself at the time... but drug dealers rarely murder complete strangers for no reason.

It's bad for business! :D

The Norks
16-06-2005, 06:43:04
I don't understand that story protein- why did he march you over the road and why was everyone shitting themselves?


I've never really done anything dangerous I was far too much of a goody two shoes

I did once get into a field full of horses with my brother though, and he started crying and I told him to walk really slowly to the fence which he did, but when it was my turn a horse started cantering after me, so I freaked and started running, and then it started galloping and as I pelted toward the fence I saw there was no gate just some barbed wire and I had no idea how to get out, and as the horse was literally a couple of feet from my back and I was a couple of feet from the fence, I lost my footing and skidded on my back and slid under a tiny gap in the wire- pure fluke. I still think it must have been my guardian angel shoving me!

Not as exciting as frequenting crack houses though eh?

Qaj the Fuzzy Love Worm
16-06-2005, 21:34:29
Originally posted by Greg W
Your turn now...

Cool! You go find a cricket pitch, I'll get my bike.

My stupid claim to infamy is climbing a sheer cliff face 40 metres high with no safety equipment. It was covered with loose material, and I almost lost my grip near the top climbing over the lip. Looking back, that was possibly the single most cringeworthy could-have-killed-me-stone-dead moment out of my life I would probably not choose to repeat if I had my life over again.

alsieboo
16-06-2005, 22:49:36
Apparently when I was a todler we lived near a busy main road, and I used to go out on my tricycle, ride up and down the middle of the road and try to direct the traffic

mr.G
16-06-2005, 22:50:26
bad parenthood

jsorense
17-06-2005, 00:03:51
Very dangerous and very stooooopid.
Driving while way drunk.
(more than once):o :nervous:

Funko
17-06-2005, 09:03:25
I'm sure I've told all you guys the garden gate/bonfire/petrol story before - unscathed.

Beta1
17-06-2005, 09:20:13
Originally posted by protein
That's normal kid behaviour. We did that kind of stuff all the time when I was a kid. My brother used to drive his car around while I was laying on the bonnet. I think we also tried using a skateboard and rope for a kind of road ski pull thing.

I once rode on the back of a motorbike - to score some drugs - without a helmet at high speed on the pavement early in the morning after serving the driver - who I didn't know - beer all night in a pub.

I got into a stolen car driven by a drunk 14 year old kid who just ran away from a foster home. We then drove around at high speed while it slowly dawned on me what was going on.

I sat in a flat while a yardie pimp and his ho made crack cocaine on the stove and then accepted a toot on his crack pipe.

I drove someone's parent's car to a petrol station to get fags after drinking a bottle of whisky. When we drove back we went into the woods and ceremonially burned our underwear on a big bonfire.

I think those are all the most stupid and dangerous things I've ever done. Things that make me wince when I think about them anyway.

I'm really rather boring, safe and healthy nowerdays.

Amazing your still alive.

Funko
17-06-2005, 09:22:55
you're

Tizzy
17-06-2005, 09:23:02
I don't think I've ever done anything really stupid like that, I've always been a bit too sensible!

Resource Consumer
17-06-2005, 10:26:22
I climbed a tree with a chainsaw the other week.

Funko
17-06-2005, 10:29:34
How good was the tree at weilding it?

Resource Consumer
17-06-2005, 10:31:41
better than me

I had a real Doom II moment with the tree though - most cathartic

mr.G
17-06-2005, 10:32:32
:lol:

heng heng henggggggg

Funko
17-06-2005, 10:38:50
dzzzzzzzz zzz zzzz gnngggg ggnnnggg zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Nills Lagerbaak
17-06-2005, 10:44:23
I remember me and my mate Matt went searching for mushrooms through the fields of Oxfordshire once. We walked across a few fields heads down, hunched over, eyes scouring the grass for any fungal protrudences. After the third field we decided to stretch our backs and have a break.
Looking up I spotted an ancient rusted sign from the 60's saying Warning do not Enter Agricultural experiments in progress.
It was the that we saw the piles and piles of rusted barrels right by the path we'd been walking.

Provost Harrison
17-06-2005, 12:17:48
Originally posted by Resource Consumer
I climbed a tree with a chainsaw the other week.

There was a story about some bloke around here on some steps with a chainsaw and lost his balance and fell with it - plunging straight into his wife's neck :eek:

Provost Harrison
17-06-2005, 12:18:19
Myself, I had a ridiculously calm childhood, apart from a penchant at one point for manufacturing explosives...

Funko
17-06-2005, 12:19:01
Originally posted by Provost Harrison
There was a story about some bloke around here on some steps with a chainsaw and lost his balance and fell with it - plunging straight into his wife's neck :eek:

Yeah, totally beheaded her. I heard that one.

Funko
17-06-2005, 12:19:25
I think there was a cat involved too.

mr.G
17-06-2005, 12:22:36
:lol: named Duckie?

Funko
17-06-2005, 12:25:09
I was wrong, it was a dog (of course!) not a cat.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/4517527.stm

mr.G
17-06-2005, 12:28:04
she was Inuit hah, must must must

Provost Harrison
17-06-2005, 12:29:03
Yeah, that's the one, although I didn't know about the dog and the golf ball...

Lurker the Second
17-06-2005, 13:43:11
I got the bright idea to conduct a science "experiment" and boil alcohol. This experiment took place in my bedroom, on the floor. I poured the alcohol in a beaker and put it under a bunsen burner. Alcohol caught fire, I panicked and knocked the beaker over, spilling the flaming alcohol all over the floor. Holy shit, I am so glad it was a wooden floor b/c it just burned up without doing any real harm.

mr.G
17-06-2005, 14:36:20
well at least you're doing something with alcohol

Lurker the Second
17-06-2005, 14:50:07
And fire. Let's not forget fire.

Venom
17-06-2005, 14:53:06
But you did that 3 days ago.

mr.G
17-06-2005, 15:02:02
:lol: so what,
I know a man who peed his bed last januari

Venom
17-06-2005, 15:15:30
And that man was named Drekkus.

Lurker the Second
17-06-2005, 15:31:01
and mr.G knows b/c he was there.

mr.G
17-06-2005, 15:32:22
No that man was KG, who was not able to get to london b/c he had to wah his bed i reckon.

Cumber
17-06-2005, 17:19:45
Well, this wouldn't've seen ME seriously injured, but...

Once when I was about 8 I was in a room at home with one of those old locks that have keyholes you can spy through. I also had a kitchen knife and my brother was outside in the hall. I told him to look at the keyhole so his attention would be directed to my amusing antics, and then stuck the knife through. Brother had misheard me as saying look through the keyhole, but fortunately had not done so.

I freaked out for a while when I realised how that could've gone...

The Norks
17-06-2005, 17:31:28
thats horrible

Cumber
17-06-2005, 17:44:55
Yeah. Still squicks my brain when that memory comes up. I doubt my brother remembers it at all though. Funny how stuff like that works.

MOBIUS
17-06-2005, 20:36:53
I once picked a NZ gf up from her house. Her dad didn't like me (something about being a pommie waster - so no change there!) so the plan was to drive past her place tooting the horn and she would come out, but the old git was standing out on the pavement talking to a neighbour so I had to park up and go get her.

When we got back in the car it wouldn't start and I was buggered if I was going to look like a 'pommie waster' with a knackered car in front of him so I had this bright idea of hillstarting it seeing as we were on this convenient hill.

Problem was it was an automatic - which don't do hillstarts. The other problem was that it had power brakes and steering which didn't work with no ignition, as I found out hurtling out of control down a big bendy hill with the busy (for NZ) Highway 2 and the bottom!:eek:

Anyway, after wrestling with the wheel and jamming on what brakes there were we ran the kerb at the bottom of the road and stopped just short of the recycling bins...

There is more woe and stupidity to this story, but the threat to our lives had passed at that point.

MOBIUS
17-06-2005, 20:37:38
Actually I have loads of dodgy car stories (mostly in NZ), it's a wonder I'm still here today...

The Norks
17-06-2005, 21:40:30
I want the rest of the woe and stupidity!

Qaj the Fuzzy Love Worm
20-06-2005, 22:01:28
^bump

As do I!

MOBIUS
21-06-2005, 10:23:40
Eh? Oh, OK then...

So after grinding to a halt in front of the recycling bins and not having any breakdown membership (I was a waster pommie), I have this bright idea of calling a taxi and getting one that had jumper leads to jump start the car for $10.

A little while later the car is good to go and we're off!

We travel a few yards to the traffic lights at the bottom of the hill but the car is feeling a bit wonky and after passing through the lights I find out we have a flat tyre from running the kerb!

No problems I thought, I'll just change the tyre until I find the mag wheels on the very cheap 2nd hand car I bought needed a key which I wasn't given when I bought the car!!!

So, stranded on the highway at the bottom of my gf's parents with no breakdown cover and before the advent of mobile phones what can we do?

I called a taxi, which ended up being the same guy who had a chuckle over our predicament and dinged me another $40 for the trip back to Wellington!

Argh!

P.S. The cause of all this was a short circuit in the tape player which made the battery flat just by playing one tape!