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King_Ghidra
14-06-2005, 16:28:11
I went to M&S yesterday to buy myself some dinner.

I bought:

some pork and leek sausages
some ready-made mashed potato (lazy i know but it was monday and all that)

at the till, the middle-aged lady said:

'i know what you're having for tea, bangers and mash!'

:lol:

No shit, beatch! I wonder what other meals she concocts from the one or two items people buy...

'Oh curry and rice, i bet you're having a curry and some rice for dinner!'

Cruddy
14-06-2005, 16:29:06
I'd have said "Actually they're for a sex game I like to play with my pet gorilla".

Tizzy
14-06-2005, 16:29:43
The guy in Sainsburys last week commented on the nice curry I'd be having for tea as I was buying naan breads :D

Debaser
14-06-2005, 16:32:16
I bought a bag of Haribo Sour Mix from ASDA the other day. At the checkout the middle-aged lady informed me that I shouldn't buy them because they were bad for my teeth. I looked at my feet and mumbled something about living on the edge.

Drekkus
14-06-2005, 16:32:21
You eat mashed potatoes with your tea??

Lurker the Second
14-06-2005, 16:32:35
Do they ever comment on your melons?

Drekkus
14-06-2005, 16:34:13
No, not much.

Gramercy Riffs
14-06-2005, 16:48:18
When I first started my present job, I was given training by a really annoying old woman (who taught me how to do everything badly), who said the following:

"Do you smoke Dan?"

"Yes"

"Thought so, I saw you having a cigarette outside earlier"

Cruddy
14-06-2005, 16:51:04
Well, if you'd have said "No" she'd have had you pegged as a lying bastard.

Gramercy Riffs
14-06-2005, 16:55:32
:lol:

True, although she found that out not long after, when I was asked what she had taught me by the boss.

Venom
14-06-2005, 17:04:29
No one talks to me. People fear me.

Cruddy
14-06-2005, 17:05:53
Well, if you go around cracking jokes then it's easier to break the ice.

If you're a brooding, morose type then people are inhibited from disturbing you.

Tizzy
14-06-2005, 17:10:07
Not true, I'm always morose at work and people always bug me regardless

Lurker the Second
14-06-2005, 17:10:47
Damn, I've now had my second double x-post in two days.

Cruddy
14-06-2005, 17:11:11
Yes, but you aren't seen as a possible cannabilistic ogre, are you?

Something Venom and I have in common, I suspect.

Tizzy
14-06-2005, 17:11:51
Not cannabilistic no, although I might well bite their heads off.

Venom
14-06-2005, 17:19:28
So you're saying I shouldn't leer at people with my cold, lifeless eyes.

Cruddy
14-06-2005, 17:39:11
Non-blinking eyes? Sign of a predator.

Predators have much more difficulty finding a mate.

So blink. Don't overdo it but don't be afraid to do it.

Funko
15-06-2005, 09:05:17
But lions have entire prides of female mates...

Oerdin
15-06-2005, 09:09:06
Originally posted by Venom
No one talks to me. People fear me.

Don't they at least plead for their lives once in a while? That's talking isn't it?

Oerdin
15-06-2005, 09:09:36
Originally posted by Funko
But lions have entire prides of female mates...

They must be hen pecked.

King_Ghidra
15-06-2005, 09:21:37
Originally posted by Gramercy Riffs
When I first started my present job, I was given training by a really annoying old woman (who taught me how to do everything badly), who said the following:

"Do you smoke Dan?"

"Yes"

"Thought so, I saw you having a cigarette outside earlier"

:lol: