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fp
18-05-2005, 18:25:14
COULD the Home Secretary explain to me how biometric checks on iris patterns
and fingerprints are going to help keep tabs on Abu Hamsa? Les Barnsley,
Barnsley

'ONE pound a week will supply water for an entire village in Tanzania', says
Oxfam. So how come United Utilities charge me twenty pounds a month for my
three bedroom semi? The fleecing bastards. Tracey Cusick, Cumbria

They say "you can't judge a book by its cover". What nonsense. The last
edition of "High School Anal Fuckers" that I bought featured a young lady stuffing a
big one up her bomb-bay on the front page, and this turned out to be an
excellent indication of the contents. Mark Roberts

The recent suicide of Harold Shipman has thrown up some interesting
questions. For a start, does Shipman killing himself increase his official tally
by one, or does it count as an own goal? Where does this final score
place our national champ in the world league table? Magnus, Sheffield

I was shocked to hear Home Secretary David Blunkett say that Britain's
prison population has been ballooning for the past ten years. My God, has
the world gone mad? Those people are there to be punished, not to be given
'thrill of a lifetime' experiences that most law abiding citizens can only
dream of. Mrs Close, Headingley

The government says that there are nearly 50,000 people with HIV in Britain,
a third of whom do not even know that they have it. Is it just me, or is it
a bit harsh that the government know and haven't told the poor sods? John
Campbell, e-mail

With reference to that series "Manhunt" where ex-Special Forces soldiers try
to hunt down Andy McNab. Why don't the producers include a couple of Iraqis
in the hunting team? They found the twat quickly enough the last time he
played hide and seek with them. Shuggie, Email

It's all very well Meg Ryan getting her kit off for her new film, but why
wasn't she doing it twenty years ago before her puppies hit the pan? Alan
Pick, Kingston-upon-Toast

Hats off to the witty burglars who stole my entire CD collection with the
exception of "There is Nothing Left to Lose" by the Foo Fighters. I hope
that when sentencing, the judge takes into account their splendid sense of
humour. Chris Scaife, Jesmond

fp
18-05-2005, 18:25:44
One of those e-mail forward thingies I got. Only this one is actually quite funny in places.

Cruddy
18-05-2005, 18:28:13
Originally posted by fp
The government says that there are nearly 50,000 people with HIV in Britain,
a third of whom do not even know that they have it. Is it just me, or is it
a bit harsh that the government know and haven't told the poor sods? John
Campbell, e-mail

With reference to that series "Manhunt" where ex-Special Forces soldiers try
to hunt down Andy McNab. Why don't the producers include a couple of Iraqis
in the hunting team? They found the twat quickly enough the last time he
played hide and seek with them. Shuggie, Email



:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Those 2 had me crying for laughing.

Gary
18-05-2005, 18:34:58
Sure reads like Viz letters to me

Funko
19-05-2005, 09:07:05
Does indeed sound like Viz letters.

Greg W
19-05-2005, 09:08:31
I thought this was all going to be about:
Dear The Management,
You suck!
k thx bye.

Funko
19-05-2005, 09:09:14
Funny ones though. :)

MoSe
19-05-2005, 09:14:08
I'd love to balloon too!

fp
19-05-2005, 13:59:33
Originally posted by Funko
Does indeed sound like Viz letters.

The forward I got claimed that they were. I just changed the thread title so as not to confuse non-UK posters.

Greg W
19-05-2005, 14:01:49
I know we used to get Viz in Australia.