View Full Version : Baby Gimp

Lazarus and the Gimp
08-05-2005, 19:42:19
It was a week overdue, but at 5.30 this morning little Ellen Shona made it into the world. She weighs in at 6 pounds 15 ounces, and is doing fine. Mrs Gimp's a bit rough- it was a 27 hour labour and she ended up needing a pretty hefty blood transfusion. For a couple of appalling hours it looked a bit touch-and-go.

Thankfully she's now recovering well- while she's still in hospital, her blood pressure is back to normal and she managed to get out of bed this evening.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've been wearing these clothes since 2AM yesterday, haven't eaten in over a day, and feel emotionally shredded. I'm off to attempt a DIY vasectomy with bulldog clips and secateurs. Never again.

Dyl Ulenspiegel
08-05-2005, 19:46:47
Yaay for Ellen Shona! :beer:

All the best for Mrs Gimp.

And good look for your diy adventure.

08-05-2005, 19:47:17

Lazarus and the Gimp
08-05-2005, 19:54:51
I have been pissed on, shat on, bled on and puked on. Repeatedly, in every case. That's in addition to those astonishing new-born nappies that are filled to overflowing with green tar.

Childbirth- it's deeply overrated.

miester gandertak
08-05-2005, 20:03:38
Congrats dad+mum Gimp.
Old southern dutch tradition: a major task for the friends of Laz, to drink of the "crosseye"

08-05-2005, 20:15:00
Well done Mrs Gimp and welcome Gimplet number 2! And Laz, I have a colleague at work who just had the snip. Buy yourself some surgical briefs to support your nutsack if you are seriously off for a kitchen table vasectomy. That;s two weddings you have to pay for now with two sets of boyfriends to scare off. Poor bastard.

08-05-2005, 20:16:55
Heh, did you get the leaflet like on the simpsons saying "So, you've ruined your life"


Lazarus and the Gimp
08-05-2005, 20:17:02
I have a plan. I'll train them both to be lesbians.

08-05-2005, 20:20:02
Now that same sex partnerships are legal you'll just end paying the same amount of money and not even have the wedding photos to show for it.

How do you train someone to be a lesbian anyway?

Is Mrs Gimp and sprog at home or have they kept them in for the night?

Lazarus and the Gimp
08-05-2005, 20:23:58
They're still in hospital. I expect for a couple more days, at least.

The Mad Monk
08-05-2005, 20:32:58

08-05-2005, 20:41:48
Congratulations! I'd get all the sleep you can now... because you'll get precious little when they get home.

08-05-2005, 21:05:54
Warmest congratulations to one and all.:bounce: :beer: :bounce:

08-05-2005, 21:36:45
Congats to you and all your gimpy things.

08-05-2005, 21:39:39


08-05-2005, 21:52:40

Immortal Wombat
08-05-2005, 21:58:14
Congratulations, Laz and Mrs Laz. :beer:

Sir Penguin
08-05-2005, 22:00:29
Congratulations! I hope Mrs. Laz feels better. :beer:


Greg W
08-05-2005, 22:09:15
Congrats Mr and Mrs Gimp. :bounce: :beer: :bounce:

Great start to the girl's life. She wasn't even alive before she was very late for her first appointment. I'm telling you, it bodes badly for any prospective partners in the future. :p

Scabrous Birdseed
08-05-2005, 22:14:32
Go Ellen! Go Go Go!

08-05-2005, 22:30:41

That's the easy bit over with now. ;)

08-05-2005, 22:38:12

and I am sorry for the hard time for Mrs Gimp

Jon Miller
(would recommend seeing a doctor instead of DiY)

08-05-2005, 22:52:46
Congratulations, Laz! :beer:

Provost Harrison
08-05-2005, 23:04:02
You're a glutton for punishment aren't you? :p

08-05-2005, 23:13:38
Congratulations. :beer:

08-05-2005, 23:23:19
aww, congrats Laz, I'm sure she's a beautiful baby (takes after her mum, obviously ;)) :beer:

08-05-2005, 23:56:20
Originally posted by Lazarus and the Gimp
They're still in hospital. I expect for a couple more days, at least. Good luck to them. Enjoy the sleep while you can...

08-05-2005, 23:57:29
Soon you won't be sleeping for days ... and having sex once a month. Welcome to parenthood.

08-05-2005, 23:59:58
he is already a parent..

09-05-2005, 00:18:09
Congratulations Laz and Mrs Laz and Rhiannon! :beer: and appropriate pain killers

Welcome to the world Ellen :)

09-05-2005, 00:24:34

09-05-2005, 00:29:11


09-05-2005, 03:03:07
Congratulations, you now have TWO teenage girls to look forward to! God help you.;)

09-05-2005, 04:58:51

09-05-2005, 05:23:20

09-05-2005, 08:16:44
:beer: Cogradulations Laz. One more girl and you can be as stupid as me. :D

Lazarus and the Gimp
09-05-2005, 08:20:01
Even after ten hours sleep, I could still be outwitted by furniture.

09-05-2005, 08:27:26

09-05-2005, 09:10:06

09-05-2005, 10:11:07
Congratumalations! :beer:

09-05-2005, 11:23:49
congrats or commiserations?

Either way, best of wishes!:beer:

09-05-2005, 11:49:58
cool, grats laz, all the best to the missus and minigimp :beer:

09-05-2005, 11:55:15
Congradulations to the whole Gimp clan.

09-05-2005, 12:17:21
Congrats laz! May you have many happy, sleepless nights to come! :D


09-05-2005, 12:24:53
:beer: and what they said.

09-05-2005, 13:11:12
We're thinking about another baby at the moment. I'm a glutton for punishment!

HUGE congrats!

Fergus & The Brazen Car
09-05-2005, 13:31:04
Originally posted by Lazarus and the Gimp
I have been pissed on, shat on, bled on and puked on.

Surely your wife is house trained ?

My very best to you and your spouse, to the new arrival and her sibling.

And just think, colic, teething, toxic nappies and vaccinations all yet to come. Life is sweet......

09-05-2005, 13:35:33
You misunderstand. All that was self-inflicted during his last DIY project...

09-05-2005, 14:11:03
Originally posted by KrazyHorse@home
You misunderstand. All that was self-inflicted during his last DIY project... -FACT!

Fixed it.

Yes, X-fear!

Lurker the Second
09-05-2005, 15:39:13
Congrats Laz!

Make sure you videotape the DIY vasectomy. There's money to be made from stuff like that.

09-05-2005, 17:18:37

09-05-2005, 17:19:31
Glad to hear it Laz, look at the bright side.

When they bring boys home in a few years, they get to meet you.

09-05-2005, 17:20:59
unless she turns out to be a lesbian...

self biased
09-05-2005, 22:05:23
Originally posted by Lazarus and the Gimp
Even after ten hours sleep, I could still be outwitted by furniture.

possibly even by drekkus?

10-05-2005, 01:40:38
That's great! I'm glad it all turned out all right. I just love how the topic or incidence of anything dicey in the hospital gets evaded poorly by the present medicos. Just about killed some people when our first was having problems and they kept frantically yet casually (yes, somehow they did that) calling for the "R" nurse. Only later did I figure out "R" meant resuscitation! Hope you didn't have too much of that...sounds like the type of situation.

Anyhow...I believe we have a perfect opportunity to save ourselves much grief: arranged marriages with Prosper & Zane.
We can tell them we are hardcore pagans and that's just the way it is. They'll have to wait for Samhain to consummate and we get a dozen or so years of bliss as the great horned god will eat their livers if they break the pact before then.

Enjoy it all...you're making me want #3.

10-05-2005, 19:19:41
congratumalations Laz!!!

I hope your wife recovers soon.

And thank you for confirming my worst fears about childbirth :) I can now happily plan my future around shoes and hamsters.

10-05-2005, 20:39:38
Mrs Spartak has a very straightforward second delivery and was home within 4 hours.

The first one was terrible though...

11-05-2005, 09:59:51
Congratulations Laz & Mrs Gimp :beer:

11-05-2005, 10:41:05
Congratulations everyone. :beer:

11-05-2005, 18:22:59
My heartiest congratulations to Gimp and the Gimpettes! :beer:

*End Is Forever*
12-05-2005, 09:04:07
Just realised I'd forgotten to say congratulations. So, congratulations! :beer: