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Lazarus and the Gimp
29-04-2005, 17:01:06
Ahahahahaha! No more work for me until the 6th of June.

I mock you dismal wage-slaves! That's right! Hear me mock!

Lurker the Second
29-04-2005, 17:11:43
This thread pisses me off so much. The only positive aspect is that it's five weeks for you to permanently maim yourself doing some fucked-up home improvement project.

Funko
29-04-2005, 17:12:17
Paternity leave?

:beer:

mr.G
29-04-2005, 17:13:23
Originally posted by Lazarus and the Gimp
I mock you dismal wage-slaves! wage-slave? :evil laugh: waahahahahaha

Lurker the Second
29-04-2005, 17:13:33
Ah, I see. Well another positive aspect has been added. No sleep for five weeks. Yaaay!

Lazarus and the Gimp
29-04-2005, 17:25:53
It's not here yet. So my mocking is still apt! Ahahahahahahaha!

Funko
29-04-2005, 17:26:22
Hope it all goes well.

Oerdin
29-04-2005, 17:38:24
Best of luck. It should make it easier on your wife having you there to help her though.

Lazarus and the Gimp
29-04-2005, 17:40:13
In theory, yes. But this is me, remember.

Dyl Ulenspiegel
29-04-2005, 17:40:45
:lol:

Oerdin
29-04-2005, 17:53:30
In America we still do things the way god intended. We leave her to deal with it and go back to work the next day.

Kitsuki
29-04-2005, 18:05:52
Originally posted by Lazarus and the Gimp
It's not here yet.

"It" - good to see the good parenting guides are smoothing the transition to parenthood already! ;)

Japher
29-04-2005, 18:07:21
Maybe he doesn't know what it is yet.

Lurker the Second
29-04-2005, 18:19:45
Yeah, it could be a turtle.

Venom
29-04-2005, 18:20:55
Europeans are a bunch of lazy fucks.

Lurker the Second
29-04-2005, 18:24:09
They should move to North Carolina.

Japher
29-04-2005, 18:24:23
I'm hoping for puppies.

Dyl Ulenspiegel
29-04-2005, 18:26:41
Originally posted by Venom
Europeans are a bunch of lazy fucks.

We laugh at you pathetic debt slaves.

Lurker the Second
29-04-2005, 18:28:42
As long as you don't point while laughing, we don't care.

Dyl Ulenspiegel
29-04-2005, 18:31:31
We laugh and point at you pathetic debt slaves.

Unless we're too lazy for that pointing business.

Lurker the Second
29-04-2005, 18:32:54
Of course you are. You just get the turks to do your pointing for you.

Gary
29-04-2005, 18:34:56
My wall needs pointing. Got the phone number of a good Turk ?

Spartak
29-04-2005, 18:42:13
Good luck Laz. I took 6 weeks off last summer for baby no 2 and was bored silly by the end of week 4.

Venom
29-04-2005, 18:46:08
Yes. We are foolish for being hard workers.

Provost Harrison
29-04-2005, 19:12:30
5 weeks? That'd be nice right now...I feel absolutely whacked currently...

Lazarus and the Gimp
29-04-2005, 19:26:15
Originally posted by Kitsuki
"It" - good to see the good parenting guides are smoothing the transition to parenthood already! ;)

Not as much as the four years of first-hand experience with the first kid did.

Lazarus and the Gimp
29-04-2005, 19:27:54
Originally posted by Spartak
Good luck Laz. I took 6 weeks off last summer for baby no 2 and was bored silly by the end of week 4.

I took 7 weeks off for the first, and loved every minute of it. Work? Pah!

Lazarus and the Gimp
29-04-2005, 19:29:07
Originally posted by Provost Harrison
5 weeks? That'd be nice right now...I feel absolutely whacked currently...

Good plan. Feeling a bit tired? Have a baby!

Provost Harrison
29-04-2005, 19:30:01
I'm lacking the correct aperture I'm afraid ;)

No, I really wouldn't fancy having a kid, looks way too much like hard work!

alsieboo
29-04-2005, 19:30:33
aww, good luck with it all Laz :) hope Laz jr 1st dorsn't get too jealous

Oerdin
29-04-2005, 20:32:00
So is your maturnity leave paid or unpaid? I believe we get unpaid leave if you ask for it but that's it. Some unions might have worked a better deal but Republicans are always saying things like this destrory jobs and all that.

BigGameHunter
29-04-2005, 20:37:04
FMLA will let you take something like 2 months off unpaid. You have a guaranteed "position" with your employer, but not your exact job, when you return.

The USA sucks in regard to work/life balance.

How do I immigrate somewhere?

Gibsie
29-04-2005, 20:38:03
Damn, another little gimp running around? He'll have an army in a few years (Especially if we keep up this paternity leave nonsense)...

Japher
29-04-2005, 20:39:31
don't worry

Laz is probably going to end up castrating himself trying to paint the little bugger's room.

RC's AE
29-04-2005, 21:12:27
"So Mr. Gimp... How exactly did you get your testicles caught in the paint roller again?"

Sir Penguin
29-04-2005, 21:25:12
Originally posted by Venom
Europeans are a bunch of lazy fucks.
My dad gets 30 weeks off per year.

SP

Lazarus and the Gimp
29-04-2005, 23:36:19
Originally posted by Oerdin
So is your maturnity leave paid or unpaid? I believe we get unpaid leave if you ask for it but that's it. Some unions might have worked a better deal but Republicans are always saying things like this destrory jobs and all that.

1 week holiday (full pay)
2 weeks paternity leave (1 week full pay, 1 week half pay)
2 weeks EU parental leave (unpaid).

Cruddy
29-04-2005, 23:53:59
Originally posted by Venom
Europeans are a bunch of lazy fucks.

Compared to Brits, yes they are. ;)

Greg W
30-04-2005, 01:20:04
Good luck with it Laz. :beer:

It's odd though, me, Laz, Funko and Tizzy all on holidays ay the same time. That's a weird menage-a-carte going on...

Lazarus and the Gimp
30-04-2005, 07:40:03
Funko spitroast!

Spartak
30-04-2005, 08:15:08
Originally posted by Lazarus and the Gimp
1 week holiday (full pay)
2 weeks paternity leave (1 week full pay, 1 week half pay)
2 weeks EU parental leave (unpaid). I got 2 weeks paid paternity leave and then took 3 weeks A/L to go with it.

OldWarrior_42
30-04-2005, 08:32:32
Good luck Laz. Hope there are no complications for you'ze.

FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act) is 12 weeks off without pay , and no lost position when you come back to work. It is Federally mandated.

And I mock you all back.... my mother in law sold her house in NY for a shitload of money and just gave my wife and I a crapload. Plus I am in the midst of about 14 weeks off from work (Yea, due to an operation on my left foot and soon to have one on the right) but I am getting fully paid from short term disability for 6 weeks (100% pay) and then for the rest I will be paid @ 75%. (When my leave switches to long term disability.)(Been out of work so far for a little over 4 weeks. At least 10 more weeks to go.:) )

HAHAHAHA. Paid to eat sleep and occasional posting. Plus buying shit. :D

DaShi
30-04-2005, 08:44:09
Good luck with all that stuff Laz.

Diss
30-04-2005, 08:46:27
Originally posted by Lazarus and the Gimp
Ahahahahaha! No more work for me until the 6th of June.

I mock you dismal wage-slaves! That's right! Hear me mock!

I recently had 5 weeks off.

All I had to do was quit my last job.

mr.G
30-04-2005, 09:04:51
Originally posted by Sir Penguin
My dad gets 30 weeks off per year.

SP huh? that's a lot, he did something with boats didn't he. So he has to make long hours and sing a lot of piratesongs

Lazarus and the Gimp
30-04-2005, 09:26:26
Originally posted by Diss
I recently had 5 weeks off.

All I had to do was quit my last job.

I mock dolescum too! Ahahahahahaha!

Sir Penguin
30-04-2005, 09:44:15
Originally posted by mr.G
huh? that's a lot, he did something with boats didn't he. So he has to make long hours and sing a lot of piratesongs
I don't think he sings many pirate songs, but he does have a pegleg and a hook for a hand, and carries a hawk around on his shoulder (we don't have parrots up here).

He gets 26 weeks off regular, plus another 4 weeks of leave (because the government negotiators futzed up the contract). The rest of the time, he works 12 hours per day, 7 days per week, and is on call for Search and Rescue for the other 12 hours per day.

SP

Provost Harrison
30-04-2005, 09:47:19
Originally posted by Greg W
...menage-a-carte...

Is that something to do with fucking menus?

Spartak
30-04-2005, 10:15:02
How the hell do you fuck a menu? Insert knob into what exactly?

Cruddy
30-04-2005, 10:17:00
Well, you could roll the menu around your knob. Or make a hole in it. Or just gently caress with it.

Have you no imagination?

Fergus & The Brazen Car
30-04-2005, 10:18:34
Originally posted by Spartak
How the hell do you fuck a menu? Insert knob into what exactly?

The anal rack of lamb.

Spartak
30-04-2005, 10:19:22
I have clearly spent less time wanking with menus than you have.

Cruddy
30-04-2005, 10:25:42
Alas no. I was once the poor idiot that had to wipe down the menus before the next sitting.

Why do you think some restaurants laminate them?

Fergus & The Brazen Car
30-04-2005, 10:25:57
Originally posted by Spartak
I have clearly spent less time wanking with menus than you have.

I remember viewing a menu at a sexclub/cinema in Amsterdam.

Quite civilized if you're paying for sex (we weren't, and didn't).

Spartak
30-04-2005, 11:08:51
Originally posted by Cruddy
Alas no. I was once the poor idiot that had to wipe down the menus before the next sitting.

Why do you think some restaurants laminate them? :hmm: :vom: :nervous:

sleeping_satsuma
02-05-2005, 02:02:50
women get good maternity in this country, but paternity leave sucks. Scandinavians seem to have the best deal on this (as with everything in life, including genes)

Lazarus and the Gimp
02-05-2005, 08:06:33
The "official" due date is today. Needless to say, there's no sign of it. Bloody slacker.

Diss
02-05-2005, 08:10:01
if my state allowed paternity leave, I'd marry some chick and knock her up so I could get some time off.

Spartak
02-05-2005, 08:33:29
never mind. it'll soon be preventing you from sleeping.

Darkstar
04-05-2005, 05:47:20
Enjoy it, Laz!

Work? That's where new dads go to sleep, isn't it?