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View Full Version : Ask HelloKitty for advice thread.


HelloKitty
24-04-2005, 09:22:16
Go on. Ask.

Greg W
24-04-2005, 09:34:53
What's a good way to pick up girls? It's been, like, 13 years, and I forget. :confused:

HelloKitty
24-04-2005, 09:41:18
Originally posted by Greg W
What's a good way to pick up girls? It's been, like, 13 years, and I forget. :confused:

Buy them a t-shirt in exchange for a webcam shot of them in a bra. Then once you know their name and address start talking to them and treating them like adults. Once you have groomed them and you think they are ready invite them to meet you, be a perfect gentleman and when they have too much to drink let them sleep at your place but you on the couch.

Whiel at your place tell her how sad and lonely you are blah blah blah and if the rophynol is working she will probably be pretty easy to hug.

Make sure you take lots of blackmail pictures and BANG! You ahve your very own teen gone wild slave/girlfriend.

Oh, also make sure you publicly warn other people about the legal risks of pictures of 16 year old girls. That will throw off the suspicion!

HelloKitty
24-04-2005, 09:42:32
Oh, and don't forget the anal. Underaged drunk drugged girls love anal.

Greg W
24-04-2005, 09:43:32
:hmm:

HelloKitty
24-04-2005, 09:47:01
Originally posted by Greg W
:hmm:

Oh, I see by your reaction that you don't work as a contractor for NASA.

My advice doesn't really apply then.

JM^3
24-04-2005, 09:54:25
How do you get over not being able to think in pressure situations.

Jon Miller
(can't think when I am talking to the guy who I would like to be my advisor)

mr.G
24-04-2005, 09:56:28
drink 1-2 whiskeys.
not bottles

Greg W
24-04-2005, 09:57:47
Yes, build an alcohol dependance, so that you can never do anything confidently without having a few drinks beforehand. :beer:

HelloKitty
24-04-2005, 10:01:00
Originally posted by JM^3
How do you get over not being able to think in pressure situations.

Jon Miller
(can't think when I am talking to the guy who I would like to be my advisor)

Remember he is probably like every other person in the world, a stupid fucking cunt who deserves your scorn.

Takes the pressure right off.

mr.G
24-04-2005, 10:01:02
see, even mate Greg thinks it is great

HelloKitty
24-04-2005, 10:01:55
Ok I am going to distract the retards posting answers in my thread with a pic of why the Sims 2 is a great game.

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y164/acolkitty/snapshot.jpg

JM^3
24-04-2005, 10:04:17
What would you do about a roomate who freaked out while drunk and tried to punch out one of your other roomates.

Jon Miller
(but you really like the guy normally)
(I know that, but I just can't seem to think..)

Greg W
24-04-2005, 10:06:19
Originally posted by HelloKitty
Ok I am going to distract the retards posting answers in my thread...Hey, I thought my advice was very HK-like.

mr.G
24-04-2005, 10:06:40
Originally posted by HelloKitty
Ok I am going to distract the retards posting answers in my thread with a pic of why the Sims 2 is a great game.

http://www.solisearch.net/ims/pic.php?u=9878PrSXJ&i=56858 (http://www.solisearch.net/ims/pic.php?u=9878PrSXJ&i=56858) the bed next to the stove............. must be architectual heaven.

HelloKitty
24-04-2005, 10:09:42
Originally posted by JM^3
What would you do about a roomate who freaked out while drunk and tried to punch out one of your other roomates.

Jon Miller
(but you really like the guy normally)
(I know that, but I just can't seem to think..)

Get really drunk, take some PCP and freak out on his ass and see how he likes it.

Greg W
24-04-2005, 10:21:20
Where's a good place for a 36 Necro to solo in EQ? :nervous:

HelloKitty
24-04-2005, 10:30:46
Originally posted by Greg W
Where's a good place for a 36 Necro to solo in EQ? :nervous:

Having not played in a year I may be completely off now.

Didn't they add "hot spots" where exp is boosted in those zones?

How do the creatures in DSP con to you. I seem to remember you could get to lvl 42 or so starting ont he zelniaks on the NL side and eventually moving up to the tribal guys at the ME and Greig's zone points.

If you set up in the right place and know what you are doing fear kiting should be pretty easy. I soloed there with my twink mage then got bored and logged a 65 druid account from the guild to give me POWA.

LOY may be ok, but it came out too late for me to have any characters low enough to do the beaches/towns etc. Lots of undead ont eh beach int he first zone.

Greg W
24-04-2005, 10:41:12
Heh, I haven't played in 2.5 years. Dragged it out again, and playing my Necro rather than my 65 Paladin. Bit of fun again.

HelloKitty
24-04-2005, 10:42:18
You know with SOE all access you can get SWG/PS/EQ and EQ2 all for 22 a month?

Greg W
24-04-2005, 11:01:37
Zelniaks near the DSP zoneline con dark blue. The couple I have seen anyway.

And yeah, I knew that thanks. :)

protein
24-04-2005, 11:03:35
Should buys some guns and go on a crazy rampage through the streets?

HelloKitty
24-04-2005, 11:05:40
Originally posted by protein
Should buys some guns and go on a crazy rampage through the streets?

No, a long range rifle, careful rooftop selection, a few shots every few weeks, and quickly fading away is much better at instigating terror.

Kitsuki
24-04-2005, 11:12:58
Originally posted by Greg W
What's a good way to pick up girls?

Grab them by the ankles and hoist 'em up.

Cruddy
24-04-2005, 11:23:18
Hellokitty, I am a complete fuckwit with the attention span of a gnat and the reactions of a sloth.

What should I do about it?

HelloKitty
24-04-2005, 12:06:16
Originally posted by Cruddy
Hellokitty, I am a complete fuckwit with the attention span of a gnat and the reactions of a sloth.

What should I do about it?

I recommend attaching binder clips to your balls and penis every morning and leaving them on throughour the day. This will help you focus on one task at a time and prevent your mind from wandering.

I also recommend inserting things into your pee hole. Start small and gradually work your way up. In time you will be able to let a man fuck you while facing you!

Cruddy
24-04-2005, 14:23:47
Hellokitty, I now have a tube of superglue stuck in my peehole. How can I remove it?

Greg W
24-04-2005, 14:29:52
I'd suggest a hacksaw.

Cruddy
24-04-2005, 16:25:06
It took some effort, but it worked... now I have a hacksaw stuck to my right hand and half a grapefruit stuck to my left nipple.

I was experimenting with the grapefruit up the peehole, realised it was too big and cut it in half - it was still too big, hence the superglue.

Any suggestions?

JM^3
24-04-2005, 17:40:42
One roomate, who makes the house hold 6 (actually 9 normally with all SO present) which is illegal (only allowed 5 nonrelated..) has a cat (which we are not allowed in our lease) which is annoying everyone because it is in heat everyother week

now we said her catr was fine initally when she moved in, but all my housemates are getting annoyed

advice?

JM
(I am fre4inds with all of tyhem, but the rest aren't freinds with her)

alsieboo
24-04-2005, 17:48:35
What do you do when a friend of yours is constantly letting you down. You make plans to meet, and then it doesn't happen. He doesn't even cancel at the last minute, oh no, you have to get hold of him to ask what's going on, only to be told it's not happening.

HelloKitty
25-04-2005, 00:47:26
Originally posted by Cruddy
Hellokitty, I now have a tube of superglue stuck in my peehole. How can I remove it?

Here is a thread witha link to a guide on how to fix that sort of problem.

http://www.counterglow.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=25943

HelloKitty
25-04-2005, 00:48:53
Originally posted by JM^3
One roomate, who makes the house hold 6 (actually 9 normally with all SO present) which is illegal (only allowed 5 nonrelated..) has a cat (which we are not allowed in our lease) which is annoying everyone because it is in heat everyother week

now we said her catr was fine initally when she moved in, but all my housemates are getting annoyed

advice?

JM
(I am fre4inds with all of tyhem, but the rest aren't freinds with her)

Lett eh cat out when no one is looking and it is in heat so it can get its kitty groove on.

Repeat until it doesn't go into heat for alittle while.

HelloKitty
25-04-2005, 00:49:29
Originally posted by alsieboo
What do you do when a friend of yours is constantly letting you down. You make plans to meet, and then it doesn't happen. He doesn't even cancel at the last minute, oh no, you have to get hold of him to ask what's going on, only to be told it's not happening.

Stop being friends with or dating guys.

JM^3
25-04-2005, 00:51:38
the cat is real stupid

when it has gotten outside in the past, it freezes and doesn't move

Jon Miller

JM^3
25-04-2005, 00:52:11
Where do you get your sigs from?

K<
(I thought at one time it was webcomics..)

HelloKitty
25-04-2005, 00:53:50
Originally posted by JM^3
Where do you get your sigs from?

K<
(I thought at one time it was webcomics..)

I wrote the current one from scratch for Darkstar and Cruddy.

Some are from webcomics.

JM^3
25-04-2005, 00:56:01
I also have the feeling that your idea will mean lots of killing kittens

Jon Miller

HelloKitty
25-04-2005, 00:58:54
Originally posted by JM^3
I also have the feeling that your idea will mean lots of killing kittens

Jon Miller

Think of it as a good excuse.

http://216.127.81.92/200/godkills.jpg

BigGameHunter
25-04-2005, 01:44:37
What good is a title with added pressure but no power to make peer slackers perform their job duties?

HelloKitty
25-04-2005, 03:15:27
Originally posted by BigGameHunter
What good is a title with added pressure but no power to make peer slackers perform their job duties?

Titles make retards happy.

Koshko
25-04-2005, 05:36:31
How can I improve my chances of finding love?

HelloKitty
25-04-2005, 06:06:33
Originally posted by Koshko
How can I improve my chances of finding love?

Send Asher a PM with your home address.

Cruddy
25-04-2005, 06:08:08
Originally posted by HelloKitty
I wrote the current one from scratch for Darkstar and Cruddy.
[

Yaay! Infamy at last!

alsieboo
25-04-2005, 18:12:34
Originally posted by HelloKitty
Stop being friends with or dating guys.

become a lesbian?

Kitsuki
25-04-2005, 18:32:09
Nah, women are far worse....

alsieboo
25-04-2005, 18:33:11
tell me about it, worst break ups I had were with issy and rosie

MDA
25-04-2005, 19:46:55
Originally posted by BigGameHunter
What good is a title with added pressure but no power to make peer slackers perform their job duties?

Assistant manager?

Lazarus and the Gimp
25-04-2005, 19:52:06
Why do libertarians make me want to kill things?

Gibsie
25-04-2005, 20:31:41
Serious question: my ex has completely fucked up her life. Should I feel jubilant, sympathetic, or just try and be apathetic? At the moment I'm veering on "sympathetic", which just feels wrong.

Provost Harrison
25-04-2005, 20:51:17
Glib

Venom
25-04-2005, 21:49:56
Should I start working out and lose 200 pounds so I can become lithe and strong and take over the world and grind all you pathetic pieces of shit beneath my studly bootheel?

Venom
25-04-2005, 21:54:05
Or should I be lazy and attempt to eat 2 large pizzas for dinner tonight?

Provost Harrison
25-04-2005, 22:03:12
Lose 200lb?! That's a lot to lose...I am overweight by a bit but if I lost that much weight there would be literally nothing left of me :D

Venom
25-04-2005, 22:04:47
You drunk eskimos never have time to eat with all the passing out on streets you have to do.

JM^3
25-04-2005, 22:07:57
you are only goingt o eat two large pizzas?

you must be being lazy

JM

Venom
25-04-2005, 22:09:27
That's just dinner. Then we have after dinner and dessert.

HelloKitty
25-04-2005, 22:10:55
Originally posted by Lazarus and the Gimp
Why do libertarians make me want to kill things?

Because you have severe mental problems. You should do the world a favor and shoot yourself in the face to let the demons out.

HelloKitty
25-04-2005, 22:12:44
Originally posted by Gibsie
Serious question: my ex has completely fucked up her life. Should I feel jubilant, sympathetic, or just try and be apathetic? At the moment I'm veering on "sympathetic", which just feels wrong.

Sympathetic to other people doesn't fit at all. You are obviously some kind of asshole and shouls feel jubilant about other people's misfortune.

Prozac or Citalopram are a good place to start.

HelloKitty
25-04-2005, 22:18:33
Originally posted by Venom
Should I start working out and lose 200 pounds so I can become lithe and strong and take over the world and grind all you pathetic pieces of shit beneath my studly bootheel?

Own goal. You are a lazy fuck and will never take over more than a bag of cheez-its and the little kids that wander into your yard.

Venom
25-04-2005, 22:20:51
I sure do own the fuck out of those little bastards though.

Gibsie
27-04-2005, 16:22:46
Originally posted by HelloKitty
Prozac or Citalopram are a good place to start.

Do you know any good herbal "natural" alternatives?

Cruddy
27-04-2005, 16:24:05
I've been walking around for sodding DAYS with a hacksaw and half a melon glued to me.

Hellokitty, your advice is absolute bollocks.

HelloKitty
27-04-2005, 17:25:31
Originally posted by Gibsie
Do you know any good herbal "natural" alternatives?

Cook a pot of rice, take it outside and let it sit open for a couple days. Make sure it stays wet. Eat it. Your problems will be over.

HelloKitty
27-04-2005, 17:26:08
Originally posted by Cruddy
I've been walking around for sodding DAYS with a hacksaw and half a melon glued to me.

Hellokitty, your advice is absolute bollocks.

Who said you should follow the advice?

Cruddy
27-04-2005, 18:34:56
Originally posted by HelloKitty
Who said you should follow the advice?

YOU DID, MAN HATER!!!!!!!!!!!

Greg W
28-04-2005, 01:09:48
What should I do in my 3 weeks off, HK?

The Norks
28-04-2005, 01:35:37
Hellokitty:

I think I have a female stalker who is obsessed with my arse- what should I do?

HelloKitty
28-04-2005, 02:03:21
Originally posted by Greg W
What should I do in my 3 weeks off, HK?

Do what I did with my nearly 3 weeks alone.

But guys would probably not be able to keep up that pace...

HelloKitty
28-04-2005, 02:04:54
Originally posted by The Norks
Hellokitty:

I think I have a female stalker who is obsessed with my arse- what should I do?

Admit to everyone you love it up the ass, or lie and tell them you love it up the ass. Either way it will sum up a great couple threads, then your stalker can move on to the next person.

Don't be like Qweeg who left when we lavished attention on his politics and huge cock.

Greg W
28-04-2005, 02:06:09
Hmm. And what do I do between those times?

HelloKitty
28-04-2005, 02:07:33
Post about sex here and browse porn.

Or you can come play SWG with Jon Miller and I.

The Combat revamp goes live in negative 7 minutes (servers are loading).

Greg W
28-04-2005, 02:11:22
What, so post about something I haven't had in months, let alone weeks? Maybe I should just develop a similar fetish with AH's arse, and post about that all day long. Oops, too late, I already am. ;)

Nah, I beta'd SWG, and just wasn't really impressed with it. Playing EQ again is a bit of fun, got my Necro to 39 with barely even trying.

HelloKitty
28-04-2005, 02:16:45
Thats what the revamp is, it is a complete change of the game. They completely scrapped the HAM system, all the way skills build on each other, redid all of combat, etc.

The game still looks like SWG and has the same proffessions, but it is more of a SWG/WoW hybrid now.

And since WoW is just EQ dumbed down with a new skin, you may enjoy it.

I think they still ahve 7 day free trials if you download.

HelloKitty
28-04-2005, 02:17:38
Oh and as for the post, talk about your dreams, let us know how creepy you are.

Maybe write some fan fic and post it!

Greg W
28-04-2005, 02:20:43
Nah, all my dreams recently have just been about kissing. Girls that is. No sex, no norks, just kissing. I think I need help. :clueless:

HelloKitty
28-04-2005, 02:21:35
Dreams as in fantasies.

Like wanting to have a woman stamp on your balls like they were cockroaches.

Greg W
28-04-2005, 02:23:53
:eek:

Don't really have any fantasies. I'm just a boring old fashioned romantic kinda guy.

Greg W
28-04-2005, 02:24:23
Although, having said that, women in uniform is a bit of a turn on. :D

HelloKitty
28-04-2005, 02:26:27
Originally posted by Greg W
Although, having said that, women in uniform is a bit of a turn on. :D

There is the start of your story!

Not turn safesearch off and hit google for some inspiration!

Greg W
28-04-2005, 02:27:40
After three weeks I'd be a farmer for sure.

HelloKitty
28-04-2005, 02:29:14
Want a link to a hacking site for free porn?

Greg W
28-04-2005, 02:30:33
http://www.cute.isgreat.tv/image/FMH_2003_no14/FMH_2003_no14_29.jpg
:love:

Greg W
28-04-2005, 02:31:12
Originally posted by HelloKitty
Want a link to a hacking site for free porn? Nah, that's fine, thanks. :D

HelloKitty
28-04-2005, 02:35:39
Originally posted by Greg W
http://www.cute.isgreat.tv/image/FMH_2003_no14/FMH_2003_no14_29.jpg
:love:

Hmm, very symbolic.

Looks liek someone may want a girl who owns one of these.

http://www.kittenstoyroom.com/gfx/products/harnesses/strapon/harness1234.jpg

Greg W
28-04-2005, 02:37:13
:lol: You're a freak, HK. :lol:

HelloKitty
28-04-2005, 02:41:32
OH! Write a story about how AH and Devil's sex life.

I suggest it starts where they are now, with anal sex and ends with cuckolding!

Greg W
28-04-2005, 02:47:41
See above post. :D