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DevilsH@lo
19-04-2005, 19:01:29
So I'm trying to write an essay, and she has brought her parents back here without asking me first. I said to her on her own that I need some quiet tonight so I can work, so she said they would be quiet, but now they've gone out. She does my nut in.

Oerdin
19-04-2005, 19:04:30
She did what to your nuts?

DevilsH@lo
19-04-2005, 19:13:45
made them into croissants

Lurker
19-04-2005, 19:23:49
Let me get this straight. You tell her you need quiet so they go out. And somehow they're screwing up? Too quiet perhaps? (Unless going out means something different than it does here.)

Oerdin
19-04-2005, 19:26:34
SS, you seem to be very upset with this French girl. Could it be you're winding it a bit tight?

DevilsH@lo
19-04-2005, 19:28:37
Originally posted by Lurker
Let me get this straight. You tell her you need quiet so they go out. And somehow they're screwing up? Too quiet perhaps? (Unless going out means something different than it does here.)

no they've come back- I just thought it was weird that she said they were staying in and then they went out.

DevilsH@lo
19-04-2005, 19:29:41
Originally posted by Oerdin
SS, you seem to be very upset with this French girl. Could it be you're winding it a bit tight?

yeah i know- I gues its like an accummulation of all the small things that she keeps doing that has finally tipped me over the edge into madness, plus I don't feel well and I'm doing an essay.

Lurker
19-04-2005, 19:31:18
Yeah, I never could understand it when people change their minds.

DevilsH@lo
19-04-2005, 19:33:49
i think its just got to the stage where everything she does winds me up. And I feel over sensitive today.

Lurker
19-04-2005, 19:35:48
Fair enough. Personally, I think you two should go out for a few drinks one night and just try to have a good time socially.

BigGameHunter
19-04-2005, 19:37:37
Why don't you write a long detailed post about you and her having a big fight that ends in you ripping each other's clothes off and rolling around in a sweaty, naughty heap on the floor?

I really think it would be cathartic.

Lurker
19-04-2005, 19:38:19
I like BGH's idea better.

DevilsH@lo
19-04-2005, 19:45:25
Originally posted by Lurker
Fair enough. Personally, I think you two should go out for a few drinks one night and just try to have a good time socially.

get this- she's french and she doesnt drink. :hmm:

Plus she has chronic BO and can talk the hind legs off a donkey

DevilsH@lo
19-04-2005, 19:46:32
Originally posted by BigGameHunter
Why don't you write a long detailed post about you and her having a big fight that ends in you ripping each other's clothes off and rolling around in a sweaty, naughty heap on the floor?

I really think it would be cathartic.

Just no.



OK so I'm being a bit of a bitch. But I haven't had sex in about a month, so I'm excused

Oerdin
19-04-2005, 19:48:00
Originally posted by DevilsH@lo
yeah i know- I gues its like an accummulation of all the small things that she keeps doing that has finally tipped me over the edge into madness, plus I don't feel well and I'm doing an essay.

Yeah, she has been a poor renter. I hope you feel better and finish your essay.

DevilsH@lo
19-04-2005, 19:52:39
Can I have a McCuddle Oerdin?

*flutters eyelashes*

Oerdin
19-04-2005, 19:53:54
Of course come here, hon. ;)

Qaj the Fuzzy Love Worm
19-04-2005, 19:54:30
LOSER FORUM!

Oh wait, that's here.

DevilsH@lo
19-04-2005, 19:56:16
*swoon*

DevilsH@lo
19-04-2005, 20:07:53
Oi!!!


Flirting in your own profile is bad enough, doing it with mine is well out of order.

If you're not careful, you'll get non!!!!

DevilsH@lo
19-04-2005, 20:10:54
Its Ok, I have electronic back up :D

DevilsH@lo
19-04-2005, 20:17:40
I`ll rob your batteries.........

Get on with your essay miss!!!

DevilsH@lo
19-04-2005, 20:18:20
you're just jealous because Oerdin didn't give you a McCuddle!

BigGameHunter
19-04-2005, 23:17:40
If I join the Coast Guard Reserve will that be enough to ignite your weird uniform/authority titillation response?

MOBIUS
19-04-2005, 23:20:02
LODGER FORUM!!!

I am starting to get annoyed by your inability to brutally murder your lodger...:rolleyes:

DevilsH@lo
19-04-2005, 23:23:48
Originally posted by BigGameHunter
If I join the Coast Guard Reserve will that be enough to ignite your weird uniform/authority titillation response?

hell, just put on a jacket :D

BigGameHunter
19-04-2005, 23:24:16
Is that code for condom?

DevilsH@lo
19-04-2005, 23:24:41
Originally posted by MOBIUS
LODGER FORUM!!!

I am starting to get annoyed by your inability to brutally murder your lodger...:rolleyes:

I know- it shows a shocking lack of moral fibre doesnt it?

DevilsH@lo
19-04-2005, 23:27:44
Originally posted by BigGameHunter
Is that code for condom?


:hmm:

Greg W
20-04-2005, 00:51:32
Originally posted by DevilsH@lo
OK so I'm being a bit of a bitch. But I haven't had sex in about a month, so I'm excused Well, have sex with her. She'll be so confused, she'll leave. Problem solved. :beer:

DevilsH@lo
20-04-2005, 00:54:53
she looks like a potato!

protein
20-04-2005, 01:10:12
Wait? She doesn't drink?

I thought you were just being overly harsh because you resent her in your house but clearly she is a nutter.

Provost Harrison
20-04-2005, 01:10:54
Originally posted by DevilsH@lo
she looks like a potato!

Well mash her dammit!

DevilsH@lo
20-04-2005, 01:12:11
Originally posted by protein
Wait? She doesn't drink?

I thought you were just being overly harsh because you resent her in your house but clearly she is a nutter.

i wouldnt resent her if she was normal, in fact I was looking forward to having someone around.

Greg W
20-04-2005, 01:26:10
Originally posted by DevilsH@lo
she looks like a potato! Lay back and think of the Queen.

DevilsH@lo
20-04-2005, 01:30:53
lie back and think of King Edward?

Greg W
20-04-2005, 01:32:30
Well, if she uses a strap on I suppose...

DevilsH@lo
20-04-2005, 01:34:57
i wouldnt touch her with yours mate :)

Immortal Wombat
20-04-2005, 01:36:49
Just look deep into her eyes and give her a good sautéeing out.

Greg W
20-04-2005, 01:38:03
Look, if you at least come on to her, she'll either flip out and leave, or reciprocate. If the former, problem solved. If the latter, then we'll at least all get to laugh uproariously at you trying to get out of the situation. :D

Go on, you know you want to. ;)

DevilsH@lo
20-04-2005, 01:41:08
christ!!! I have to sleep tonight you know!!

Greg W
20-04-2005, 01:45:49
She could solve that problem too. ;)

:lol:

DevilsH@lo
20-04-2005, 01:46:41
I'd rather shag the hamsters- at least they are cute

Greg W
20-04-2005, 01:48:50
Ooh, now that'd make for some good videos.

:gotit: I know, arrange for her to "stumble" upon you while you're in the middle of some felching with the hamsters. I can guarantee* that'll get rid of her.


*guarantee void outside of Australia

DevilsH@lo
20-04-2005, 01:49:29
you're a sick man!!

Greg W
20-04-2005, 01:50:42
Damn straight! :beer:

I think it's a reaction to being in a good mood for the first time in ages. My brain doesn't know how to cope. ;)

DevilsH@lo
20-04-2005, 01:53:18
woo!!

keep that mood going!!

Greg W
20-04-2005, 01:57:02
What, the happy felching mood? I might get in trouble at work though when I ask the passengers to help me with one that got stuck earlier.

ARMAGEDDON!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

DevilsH@lo
20-04-2005, 01:57:51
armageddon outta here?

Greg W
20-04-2005, 02:00:21
You haven't heard the "armegeddon" radio clip?

DevilsH@lo
20-04-2005, 02:03:10
errrrr.......no

Greg W
20-04-2005, 02:04:04
When I heard it, it was on radiuo, and it was an American broadcaster attempting to read out the following:Direct from the LA Times:

"In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to retrieve the gerbil," Eric Tomaszewski told bemused doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital. Tomaszewski, and his homosexual partner Andrew "Kiki" Farnum, had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong.

"I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our gerbil, in," he explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted out 'Armageddon', my cue that he'd had enough. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he wouldn't come out again,so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him."

At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what happened next. "The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame shot out the tubing, igniting Mr Tomaszewski's hair and severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out like a cannonball."

Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract.But he kept pissing himself laughing, and calling out "Armegeddon" inbetween trying to read the story. Damn funny to hear it, but I can't seem to find a link to an MP3 or similar.

DevilsH@lo
20-04-2005, 02:07:07
LOL

but surely an urban myth?

Greg W
20-04-2005, 02:08:08
Here you go:
http://www.eddiecanuck.com/old/humor/armageddon.mp3

Fucking hilarious. :lol:

DevilsH@lo
20-04-2005, 02:11:26
:lol:

Greg W
20-04-2005, 02:23:35
I wish that club veg (a very funny Australian radio duo) still had their website up. They used to have a heap of funny radio stuff ont heir site.

Provost Harrison
20-04-2005, 09:47:24
Raggot? Are they sure the gerbils name wasn't Faggot? Would be more appropriate :D

MOBIUS
20-04-2005, 09:47:27
But what happened to the Gerbil!:mad:

Provost Harrison
20-04-2005, 09:54:07
It's just about to slingshot off Jupiter...

MOBIUS
20-04-2005, 10:09:41
Did it live?

Gerbils have feelings too!:shoot: