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walruskkkch
29-03-2002, 17:59:45
Original Story


'And it came to pass that Saint Victor was taken from this place
to another place. Where he was lain to rest himself amongst sheets
of muslin and velvet.
And there stroked was he by maidens of the Orient.
For sixteen days and nights stroked they him, yea verily and
caressed him.
His hair, ruffled they. And their fingers rubbethed they in oil
of olives, and ranneth them across all parts of his body for as much
as to soothe him.
And the soles of his feet licked they. And the upper parts of
his thigh did they anoint with the balm of forbidden trees.
And with the teeth of their mouths, nibbled they the pointed
bits at the top of his ears. Yea verily, and did their tongues
thereof make themselves acquainted with his most secret places.
For fifteen days and nights did Victor withstand these maidens,
until he cried out, saying:
'This...is fantastic! Oh...this is *terrific!!*'
And the Lord did hear the cry of Victor. And verily came He down
and slew the maidens. And caused their cottonwool bugs to blow away,
and their Kleenex to be laid waste utterly.
And Victor, in his anguish, cried out that the Lord was a rotten
bastard.
So the Lord sent an angel to comfort Victor for the weekend.
And entered they together the jaccuzzi.'

Here endeth the lesson.







Your Story

'And it came to pass that Saint Venom was taken from this place
to another place. Where he was lain to rest himself amongst Thrushes
of muslin and velvet.
And there stroked was he by Game Gods of Reading.
For sixteen days and nights stroked they him, yea verily and
caressed him.
His hair, ruffled they. And their fingers rubbethed they in oil
of Nordic Eclairs, and ranneth them across all parts of his body for as much
as to soothe him.
And the soles of his feet licked they. And the upper parts of
his thigh did they anoint with the balm of forbidden droppings.
And with the teeth of their mouths, nibbled they the pointed
bits at the top of his Hyperthalmus. Yea verily, and did their tongues
thereof make themselves acquainted with his most secret nose.
For fifteen days and nights did Venom withstand these Game Gods,
until he cried out, saying:
'This...is droopy! Oh...this is *sporty!!*'
And the Lord did hear the cry of Venom. And verily came He down
and slew the Game Gods. And caused their cottonwool bugs to blow away,
and their Kleenex to be laid waste utterly.
And Venom, in his anguish, cried out that the Lord was a shagadelic
bastard.
So the Lord sent MikeH to comfort Venom for the weekend.
And entered they together the jaccuzzi.'

Here endeth the lesson.

Venom
29-03-2002, 18:02:03
It's funny because it's true.

walruskkkch
29-03-2002, 18:05:26
Ahhh, the Game God's of Reading...

Venom
29-03-2002, 18:06:31
At least the Lord smote them.

walruskkkch
29-03-2002, 18:12:45
Smotin's too good for 'em.

Venom
29-03-2002, 18:14:37
He smote them with bugs.

walruskkkch
29-03-2002, 18:21:43
A plague of enchantments.

Venom
29-03-2002, 18:23:35
You don't mean "enhancements" do you?

walruskkkch
29-03-2002, 18:29:41
own goal. :D

Venom
29-03-2002, 18:37:21
Damn you!

walruskkkch
29-03-2002, 18:39:56
Oh puhleeze. It's a long standing, running joke is it not?

Venom
29-03-2002, 18:41:42
Own goal.

walruskkkch
29-03-2002, 18:43:31
See!

Venom
29-03-2002, 18:44:41
Maybe I do.

Maybe I don't.

walruskkkch
29-03-2002, 18:47:51
A schoedingers Venom.

Venom
29-03-2002, 18:49:54
What did you call me? I'll kill you for that!

walruskkkch
29-03-2002, 18:53:30
Or maybe not.

Venom
29-03-2002, 18:56:19
Yeah. That's what I thought.

walruskkkch
29-03-2002, 19:00:08
:hmm:

Venom
29-03-2002, 19:00:45
Indeed.

milan
29-03-2002, 20:01:08
jeezus, you two sound like a husband and wife!

walruskkkch
29-03-2002, 20:04:09
He always leaves the toilet seat down.

Venom
29-03-2002, 20:04:54
And then I put Saran Wrap over it.

milan
29-03-2002, 20:09:12
have you ever thought about counseling?(sp?)

walruskkkch
29-03-2002, 20:13:47
Listening to people bitch all day? No thank you.

Venom
29-03-2002, 20:16:57
I've got enough problems of my own I don't need to hear anyone elses.

milan
29-03-2002, 20:25:22
yesss...but how about trying to share these problems with someone venom? it might help.