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Qaj the Fuzzy Love Worm
04-04-2005, 17:49:07
Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services.

The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000. Accidental deaths caused by physicians per year are 120,000. Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171.


The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000. Yes, that is 80 million. The number of accidental gun deaths per year, all age groups, is 1,500. The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is 0.0000188.

Statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners. Remember, "Guns don't kill people, doctors do."

Fact: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR.

Please alert your friends to this alarming threat. We must ban doctors before this gets completely out of hand. Out of concern for the public at large, I have withheld the statistics on lawyers for fear the shock would cause people to panic and seek medical attention.

paiktis22
04-04-2005, 17:50:11
Imagine a doctor with a gun

Japher
04-04-2005, 17:51:13
Larry the Cable Guy: Blaming gun fer killin people is like blaming pencils for misspelled werds.

protein
04-04-2005, 17:56:50
Blaming landmines for mutilating children is like blaming pencils for bad spelling.

miester gandertak
04-04-2005, 18:05:20
yaaaaaaay bad pencil bad pencil

paiktis22
04-04-2005, 18:09:04
that's why they invented word processors

Oerdin
04-04-2005, 18:10:09
Pencils don't kill people; word processors kill people (or at least their souls).

Lazarus and the Gimp
04-04-2005, 19:37:40
Have you got similar figures for deliberate killings and non-beneficial injuries inflicted by doctors and gun owners?

Japher
04-04-2005, 20:10:14
Physicians aren't surgeons...

Funko
04-04-2005, 20:19:44
Around 21,000,000 people in the US who've eaten bread die every year...

Japher
04-04-2005, 20:20:27
That's why I'm on the low carb diet

Chris
04-04-2005, 20:36:59
Damn doctors, think of the children!

Qaj the Fuzzy Love Worm
04-04-2005, 21:58:02
Someone should implement a 7 day cooling off period for seeing a doctor.

Darkstar
05-04-2005, 07:14:28
Cars kill more people in the US then guns. We should ban all cars!

Funko
05-04-2005, 09:09:59
Cars and doctors have no other uses other than killing either.

King_Ghidra
05-04-2005, 11:11:23
are there really 120000 accidental deaths every year caused by doctors?! that seems rather amazingly high

Funko
05-04-2005, 11:22:12
It does doesn't it.

Dyl Ulenspiegel
05-04-2005, 12:46:50
That number includes people being shot and run over by physicians.

miester gandertak
05-04-2005, 12:47:35
Originally posted by Dyl Ulenspiegel
That number includes people being shot and run over by physicians. :lol:

Nav
05-04-2005, 13:39:49
Originally posted by King_Ghidra
are there really 120000 accidental deaths every year caused by doctors?! that seems rather amazingly high Don't you watch ER?

Nav
05-04-2005, 14:14:11
oh and maybe we should also compare pre-meditated doctor deaths to pre-meditated gun deaths. ;)

Funko
05-04-2005, 14:16:37
Perhaps we should take industrial grinders to our noses.

Lurker
05-04-2005, 14:20:24
2.4 million people die annually in the U.S. from misdiagnosed appendicitis. FACT!

Funko
05-04-2005, 14:22:42
:lol:

In the UK it's about 100. ;)

Dyl Ulenspiegel
05-04-2005, 14:23:24
2.4 million people die annually in the U.S. from "natural causes". Someone sue god.

Funko
05-04-2005, 14:24:38
26.7 children in the US are abducted by aliens every year.

Nav
05-04-2005, 14:26:42
Poor parents who lost .7 of their child due to a mis-aligned transport beam, sloppy aliens.

zmama
05-04-2005, 14:48:58
Time for a probe

Darkstar
05-04-2005, 19:22:45
Actually, we could seriously cut back on auto-related deaths by eliminating the number one cause... trees. If we cut down every tree in the US, we'd prevent close to half of those deaths (or just injuries). The most common auto death in the US is a car goes off the road (for whatever reason) and hits a tree. I doubt they'll let us cut down the trees though. ;)

Supposedly, if we just didn't let people drive until they were a) 21 for women, and b) 23 for men, we'd cut down on auto accidents by about 1/3. But the insurance companies would never go for that, as it would cut off such a good portion of their revenue from youthful drivers. We could also cut down our auto accidents by not allowing anyone over the age of 50 of driving, but those people actually vote, so that would never pass.

Lots of things we could do, but won't. It's just inconvenient.

Lurker
05-04-2005, 19:31:24
Originally posted by Funko
:lol:

In the UK it's about 100. ;)

Once again, we're better.

Japher
05-04-2005, 20:07:01
It ain't like it's golf... the higher the better!

Darkstar
05-04-2005, 20:13:10
Well, every early death does help preserve the US's Social Insecurity program. So long as it isn't an illegal immigrant, oops! Pardon me, an undocumented worker.