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View Full Version : How fucked up are the Dutch?


Oerdin
01-04-2005, 11:04:17
Look at this Dutch shitter. There is a shelf where the turd just sits stinking up the place until you flush and if you have a really long turd it might just bottom out before you finish. At least in America our turds drop into water so the smell is partially negated while the evil Dutch try to pollute the world with there nasty turd smells.

Drekkus
01-04-2005, 11:13:38
Is that typically dutch? Unfortunately I don't have one like that at home. :( It's great for inspecting your droppings before flushing.

miester gandertak
01-04-2005, 11:18:37
Yes they are awesome, you can poop the alphabet and inspect the little dot on the i.

I hate it when my turd directly falls inwater and splashes my butt.

And our turds don't stink, they smell after tullips and all.

Drekkus
01-04-2005, 11:42:33
Downside to this one is when you make a really long one, it slides sideways down your cheeks, smearing them outside the usual range.

miester gandertak
01-04-2005, 11:44:31
and that is NOT good?

Fistandantilus
01-04-2005, 11:50:55
Originally posted by miester gandertak

I hate it when my turd directly falls inwater and splashes my butt.


Ditto.

Mr. G, give these nasty americans a lesson in shitting please.

Or publish a book: "Schjjjtting, the Djutsch wajj"

miester gandertak
01-04-2005, 12:00:41
hmmmm that's a thought.

Gary
01-04-2005, 12:11:56
I dislike the fact that the bowl is always so short that the family jewels 'want' to make contact with the front :(

As for splashing, is that worse than stinking the place out with tulips ? If so, should've gone for the Earth, rather than the Water Closet.

Fistandantilus
01-04-2005, 12:27:37
Originally posted by Gary

As for splashing, is that worse than stinking the place out with tulips ?

Of course it is. The turd doesn't remain there for hours you know.. :hmm:

And there is nothing that makes you more happy than that mellifluous voice singing "doo di dooooo" when you flush a ducth wc. Try it.

miester gandertak
01-04-2005, 12:29:03
:lol: inderdeed

Gary
01-04-2005, 12:30:12
The splash doesn't remain there for hours either. I know what might linger for a while though.

miester gandertak
01-04-2005, 12:34:30
http://www.orificeworld.com/80256c4b0034d36f/0/4FA2C15414C7C36480256CB60049BD7D/$file/FlyPissoir.jpg

this one is brilliant.

Drekkus
01-04-2005, 12:52:59
That one doesn't shit very well.

Gary
01-04-2005, 13:36:59
It's ok after a curry though.

Drekkus
01-04-2005, 13:42:44
As long as you hit the fly.

Oerdin
03-04-2005, 18:11:51
That is a fly isn't it?

miester gandertak
03-04-2005, 19:56:51
jep, painted in the ceramique.
brilliant Dutch Design.

Provost Harrison
03-04-2005, 19:56:54
Wouldn't that leave shitmarks on the porcelain that you would have to scrub off every time you 'purged'?

miester gandertak
03-04-2005, 20:01:51
no

Oerdin
03-04-2005, 21:11:14
Originally posted by Gary
The splash doesn't remain there for hours either. I know what might linger for a while though.

The skid marks down the side of the bowl? The Tulip fragrance?

Drekkus
03-04-2005, 21:15:51
Originally posted by Oerdin
That is a fly isn't it? It is. it's supposed to make men aim at the fly, instead of outside the urinoir.

Fistandantilus
03-04-2005, 22:28:13
Originally posted by Drekkus
It is. it's supposed to make men aim at the fly, instead of outside the urinoir.

I see, so it's common practice to aim outside the urinor if not for the fly?

miester gandertak
03-04-2005, 22:31:23
always when we see a fly we tried to piss it on the head.
old dutch tradition

miester gandartak
03-04-2005, 23:21:30
Those sneaky Dutch.

miester gandertak
04-04-2005, 10:20:12
yep, better known as the pissing-flyhead-people.

Provost Harrison
04-04-2005, 19:47:10
Originally posted by miester gandertak
no

Ah, so Dutch turds are really greasy?

miester gandertak
04-04-2005, 19:49:46
no

Provost Harrison
04-04-2005, 19:54:15
Can you say anything other than 'no'? :p

Funko
04-04-2005, 19:55:05
Yes he can.

zmama
05-04-2005, 03:44:15
doooooo
di
dooooooooo

Qaj the Fuzzy Love Worm
05-04-2005, 04:06:57
It occurs to me that maybe the Dutch aren't fucked up, they're just backwards, in that they sit facing the back of the toilet when they take a dump.

Whatever, it's still a weird toilet.

Spartak@work
05-04-2005, 04:39:18
Russians have bogs like that too.

Oerdin
05-04-2005, 10:13:27
The Russians took after the Dutch?

miester gandertak
05-04-2005, 10:20:39
Originally posted by Qaj the Fuzzy Love Worm
It occurs to me that maybe the Dutch aren't fucked up, they're just backwards, in that they sit facing the back of the toilet when they take a dump.

Whatever, it's still a weird toilet.
facing the back of the toilet? you meant the front

MoSe
05-04-2005, 10:51:31
Originally posted by miester gandertak
Yes they are awesome, you can poop the alphabet and inspect the little dot on the i.

I hate it when my turd directly falls inwater and splashes my butt.


what a shitty thread

I admit that inspecting your dejections should be good and responsible practice, but I wonder how many actually force themselves to that, and how that is country and education dependent.
I think I found the "shelved" model in Germany, and in France too. I thought it was a Jap invention tho.

Personally, I go by perceiving consistence an texture as I extrude.
And when in shared facilities (i.e. in shared hotel roomzm...) I even flush as soon as it drops, if not even ablink earlier.

Regarding the dreaded backsplash, you might consider that:
- it's much less dreaded if you avoid to piss before and drop the turnd in your piss... :o
- it's a matter of aim: yes, you can aim with your butt too!
- it's EASILY solved by dropping a few wads of paper in the toilet BEFOREHAND.

On a final note that will surely thrill you all, since when I had to begin eating properly (vegetables, fibers and all), considering that more often than not I don't have the patience in the morning and postpone it till nature is ready with the impulse, my turds sometime hit the bottom even with the straightdown model! On the shelved ones, I'd probably end to sit on my own shit! If that's civilisation.....

Beta1
05-04-2005, 10:56:21
more detail than required there mose...

miester gandertak
05-04-2005, 10:56:26
Originally posted by MoSe

- it's EASILY solved by dropping a few wads of paper in the toilet BEFOREHAND.

wiping your ass with wet shitty paper, only stupid italians can think of that.
How in gods name can you clean your butt with paper that is already filthy, and while you wipe the paper will break because it's wet.

MoSe
05-04-2005, 10:57:24
Originally posted by Beta1
more detail than required there mose...

that was mere retaliation!

MoSe
05-04-2005, 10:59:35
mr.g, I never said you'd pick up that anti-splash paper again
only stupid dutch would think of that :p

miester gandertak
05-04-2005, 11:01:09
:lol: ow okay.

Drekkus
05-04-2005, 11:40:21
Originally posted by Oerdin
The Russians took after the Dutch? St Petersburg was modelled after Amsterdam, by dutch architects. :coolgrin:

MoSe
05-04-2005, 11:42:42
Actually, IIRC many of the fancy buildings were built by Italian architects (but then what do I know, this is 3rd hand TV art culture...)

Qaj the Fuzzy Love Worm
05-04-2005, 14:45:09
Originally posted by miester gandertak
facing the back of the toilet? you meant the front

The front of the cistern, the back of the seat.

RedFred
06-04-2005, 01:57:32
Remind me to never visit Counterglow when I am eating dinner.

Greg W
06-04-2005, 01:59:26
At least someone hasn't linked the rate my poo site yet.

Darkstar
06-04-2005, 02:13:20
Well, not in this thread.

Cruddy
06-04-2005, 02:26:46
"Continental style", we call it. I've used plenty of them with never a problem.

I guess the design is there to take a good look at your dump and make sure that it's normal.

Alternatively, it's convenient for recovering your stash from.

They do have one benefit - they are easier to clean.

Greg W
06-04-2005, 02:34:03
Cos wanting to look at your poo is a good, normal, level headed thing. :gasmaske:

Dyl Ulenspiegel
06-04-2005, 08:42:50
And you have to keep records just in case the poo inspector comes by.

Drekkus
06-04-2005, 10:53:46
Originally posted by Cruddy
"Continental style", we call it. I've used plenty of them with never a problem.

I guess the design is there to take a good look at your dump and make sure that it's normal.

Alternatively, it's convenient for recovering your stash from.

They do have one benefit - they are easier to clean. And they don't splash your arse when you take a big dump. You know, when a single drop of water jumps up and hits you right in the hole, just before it's fully closed again.

miester gandertak
06-04-2005, 10:59:17
Originally posted by miester gandertak
Yes they are awesome, you can poop the alphabet and inspect the little dot on the i.

I hate it when my turd directly falls inwater and splashes my butt.

And our turds don't stink, they smell after tullips and all. Yaaay Drekkus yaaay

MoSe
06-04-2005, 11:02:20
Oh, but that would help the cleansing!

you know, Japs even added a sprinkler for that purpose.

Re avoiding the splash, I already posted an easy solution for it, so it's a moot issue.

Drekkus
06-04-2005, 11:16:29
Like I will remember to use toiletpaper beforehand.

That's the whole thing, men and women go to the toilet in different ways. Women take a piece of toiletpaper, sit down and do their thing. Men sit down, take a dump, and then discover there isn't any toiletpaper.

Funko
06-04-2005, 11:18:58
Girls always seem organised enough not to run out.