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View Full Version : Is it possible to love more than one person at a time?


alsieboo
28-03-2005, 00:09:18
As you may or may not know, Thales/Whaleboy/Ben and I are in love, but I'm seeing someone else as well, Jasen, and there's a spark there. Before any of you say I'm cheating on him, I'm not, we know where the lines lay in our relationship, and I'm well within them. But can you love two people at once?

JM^3
28-03-2005, 00:12:28
well...

I think that you can't have love growing for two people at once...

so if one person is going up, the other is going down

but I have little practical experience

Jon Miller

alsieboo
28-03-2005, 00:13:56
meh, maybe I'm just imagining it anyway. the Jasen thing that is.

Oerdin
28-03-2005, 02:40:58
You're such a complicated young girl, Alsie.

Greg W
28-03-2005, 02:48:00
You can, for sure. With any luck you love your parents close to as much as your b/f. It's a different type, but it's still love. Realistically there's no reason to set a limit on the number of people that you love. It's just how you act on that love that defines it for most people.

HelloKitty
28-03-2005, 02:56:47
3 holes, breasts, 2 hands, feet, if you go DVDADO you could "love" at least 10 people at a time.

self biased
28-03-2005, 03:05:35
seven hundred eighty-three and a half qweegles.

Lazarus and the Gimp
28-03-2005, 07:39:39
Originally posted by alsieboo
But can you love two people at once?

Yes. However it's usually not a recipe for happiness.

KrazyHorse@home
28-03-2005, 08:18:49
Yes, but I'm a jealous son of a bitch, so nobody had better be loving anybody else on me...

miester gandertak
28-03-2005, 09:01:56
:bounce: :bounce:

alsieboo
28-03-2005, 09:10:40
I am but a simple creature Oerdin.

notyoueither
28-03-2005, 10:00:07
Originally posted by Lazarus and the Gimp
Yes. However it's usually not a recipe for happiness.

He sometimes has a clue, Alsie. You should think about it.

Greg W
28-03-2005, 10:10:10
The question perhaps should be could you handle being singularly in love with one person, who was in love with you, and someone else.

Basically reverse the situation, and think if you'd appreciate it. And I don't mean look at it superficially. Look at it emotionally, what it would mean to you, them, and anyone else involved. Think of the best that could happen, the worst that could happen, and ask yourself if you'd appreciate it happening to you.

Martini
28-03-2005, 11:02:07
I don't think it's possible to be in love with one person, let alone 2.

Deluded and fuzzy, yeah, but not in love.

I am indeed a bitter and cynical young lady.

Greg W
28-03-2005, 11:06:18
So young to be so bitter and cynical. Chin up, there are some good men out there.

Martini
28-03-2005, 11:09:54
Oh, I know, there are plenty of decent blokes who I would happily spend time with - but 'love' is just a load of bollocks people say they feel because its a nice delusion from real life.

I have thought I was in love a few times in the past, then realised i didnt even particularly like the people in question.

True love is brilliant, but its often a word thrown around far too casually by people who are, quite frankly, kidding themselves.

JM^3
28-03-2005, 11:13:53
I haven't found true love

but I think it has to grow on you...

also, often times you think you don't love someone, and than you think about it somemore and you do (I am not talking about 'true love' here, I am talking about loving your parents and other people in you rlive)

Jon Miller
(I haven't found love of the romantic/whatever that type is type, but I do know that I love my family, and that I love my freinds)

sleeping_satsuma
28-03-2005, 13:09:35
I lived with a girl at Uni who had two boyfs, and it went hideously wrong...

Allie you can feel whatever you want. What you have to consider is how other people will view it and whether you have the energy to deal with that. Some people, I believe, live in polygamous situations, but I doubt if they're public about it.

Of course some men do it quite famously- a few Muslims and Mormons, that weird guy who owns all the lions with his 'wifelets'...but they are seen as eccentric at best and cruel at worst. It will always be worse for a woman in that situation,as its still less acceptable for women to sleep around or commit adultery. We're meant to be caring, faithful types you see.

I think for most people its boils down to hassle and explanations they would rather live without (not least from the first partner), so those that do feel strongly about two people probably just cave in and go with one or the other. Usually the first on the scene I suspect. As JM says there's probably one who's always favoured more- remember three's a crowd.


I would say don't bother unless all the parties involved can handle it emotionally and financially, and physically, and you are ready for the grief you'll get.

Venom
28-03-2005, 14:16:40
I stalk many people at the same time, so sure, why not.

fp
28-03-2005, 16:08:18
Originally posted by sleeping_satsuma
We're meant to be caring, faithful types you see.


It's astonishing that this stereotype persists when it is becoming increasingly apparent that so few of you are either caring or faithful.

Lazarus and the Gimp
28-03-2005, 16:20:46
Incidentally, isn't it about time you got Ben posting here again?

If only to erase memories of the lamest leaving ever. "Oh dear- I've come over all peculiar so I'm going to have to post exclusively at Poly from now on".

alsieboo
28-03-2005, 16:34:02
I'll tell him to pop by more often, but he doesn't really post at more than one place at a time.

Saw Jasen today, and I think it's just a long term fling. Everytime we see each other it's basically only for sex. Slightly disconcerting that he keeps giving me things though.

Lurker
28-03-2005, 16:35:02
Originally posted by fp
It's astonishing that this stereotype persists when it is becoming increasingly apparent that so few of you are either caring or faithful.

Bah, I care. Just not always about the right things.

Lazarus and the Gimp
28-03-2005, 16:35:38
As long as it ain't herpes or warts....

alsieboo
28-03-2005, 16:36:35
Not yet, not yet

Lazarus and the Gimp
28-03-2005, 16:36:46
X-post of the day!

alsieboo
28-03-2005, 16:38:34
Congratulations Laz :p

Lurker
28-03-2005, 16:40:06
:lol:

The only communicable disease I have right now is a god damn cold.

alsieboo
28-03-2005, 16:40:45
Get hayfever like a normal person

Lurker
28-03-2005, 16:42:07
Got that too, but it's a bit early in the season still.

alsieboo
28-03-2005, 16:44:31
Early don't mean shit.

miester gandertak
28-03-2005, 17:27:18
no, poop on the other hand.....

alsieboo
28-03-2005, 21:23:01
Shit. Guy number three has just told me he loves me and he can't handle other people touching me. shit shit shit shit shit. Maybe it's just a drunken ramble, or someone nicked his phone. shit shit shit.

Martini
28-03-2005, 22:37:17
Originally posted by fp
It's astonishing that this stereotype persists when it is becoming increasingly apparent that so few of you are either caring or faithful.

Fuck you.

Im faithful to those I care about.

Greg W
29-03-2005, 00:11:02
Heck, men are the stereotypical adulterers. Each person is different though, and in the end, we all have to live with ourselves. Society as a whole is becoming far less moral than it used to be. Either that, or it's just thrust a lot more into the spotlight.

In the end Boo, doesn't matter how many guys say shit like that. Some guys'll say it cos they really care, some cos they want to sleep with you, some just for some attention. Say to them something like "If you really love me, let me deal with my current relationship, and then if and when that ends, I'll think about seeing you."

Puts em in a quandry you see. You're telling them that if they keep interfering, they really don't love you. May not always work, but it may help.

Funko
29-03-2005, 08:41:17
Originally posted by Greg W
Heck, men are the stereotypical adulterers.

Yeah, and stereotypically women don't really like sex and men are the horny ones. :lol:

Anyway, men and women are pretty much just as unfaithful as each other - plenty of work done on the evolutionary benefits of cheating for women (those for men, having as many offspring by as many women as possible have always been obvious).

Oerdin
29-03-2005, 09:11:09
Originally posted by sleeping_satsuma
I lived with a girl at Uni who had two boyfs, and it went hideously wrong...

It normally does.

Funko
29-03-2005, 09:17:53
Did their balls touch?

miester gandertak
29-03-2005, 09:22:27
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: carambole

Thales
29-03-2005, 09:50:30
Someone called? :p

But yeh without wanting to go into details I'm totally cool with everything, as long as Allie's happy that's the most important thing... "infidelity" was never an issue with me.

Good to be back! I got like 15 minutes of dial-up time every day since I moved house so I can't come on so much :(

Mwah!!

Drekkus
29-03-2005, 09:53:30
Originally posted by Funko
Did their balls touch? :lol: :lol:

Gary
29-03-2005, 10:29:26
Of course it's possible as most guys will tell you from experience. But if you're a gal you'll find lots of excuses why it isn't love after all, because that ruins the romantic 'one to one' ideal.

alsieboo
29-03-2005, 12:29:58
Originally posted by Thales
Someone called? :p

But yeh without wanting to go into details I'm totally cool with everything, as long as Allie's happy that's the most important thing... "infidelity" was never an issue with me.

Good to be back! I got like 15 minutes of dial-up time every day since I moved house so I can't come on so much :(

Mwah!!

shite, that means I missed you! I just emailed you about that lol, and some other stuff :p

thing is with guy3, he gets to sleep with me anyway, so saying that is kinda moot. Meh. He was drunk anyway. I'm still holding out for it being one of his friends instead, and him not actually meaning it lol.

JM^3
29-03-2005, 12:33:49
you must get a lot

JM

alsieboo
29-03-2005, 12:34:38
Not as much as I'd like

JM^3
29-03-2005, 12:40:43
I think that is probably one thing that is true for most people

JM

Venom
29-03-2005, 13:19:35
Originally posted by Funko
Did their balls touch?

Now that's some funny shit.

PosterBoy
29-03-2005, 17:03:30
Originally posted by Thales
Someone called? :p

But yeh without wanting to go into details I'm totally cool with everything, as long as Allie's happy that's the most important thing... "infidelity" was never an issue with me.

Good to be back! I got like 15 minutes of dial-up time every day since I moved house so I can't come on so much :(

Mwah!!

dude, get yourself down to Blastchamber @ Soundhaus on a Saturday night and find someone better. Infedelity may not be an issue with you but damn, find some self respect.

Nothing personal Allie

Lazarus and the Gimp
29-03-2005, 17:07:17
Could be a reciprocal thing, PB.

paiktis22
29-03-2005, 17:27:21
what was that line in that almodovar film?

Provost Harrison
29-03-2005, 17:43:28
Originally posted by alsieboo
meh, maybe I'm just imagining it anyway. the Jasen thing that is.

You can't love anyone with a name like that! It's bad enough, let alone being spelt like that!

sleeping_satsuma
29-03-2005, 18:24:16
Originally posted by paiktis22
what was that line in that almodovar film?

"Allie's a slut and she'll be knocked up before you can say 'jiminy'"?
:D

sleeping_satsuma
29-03-2005, 18:26:58
Originally posted by fp
It's astonishing that this stereotype persists when it is becoming increasingly apparent that so few of you are either caring or faithful.

:lol:

twat

paiktis22
29-03-2005, 18:29:00
Originally posted by sleeping_satsuma
"Allie's a slut and she'll be knocked up before you can say 'jiminy'"?
:D

No!

Anyway it was about whaleboy. Forget it. :)

MDA
29-03-2005, 18:30:14
Originally posted by Funko
Did their balls touch?

I've nearly choked to death on my lunch, and tears are still streaming down my face.:lol:

Its the best thing that's happened all day. :beer:

sleeping_satsuma
29-03-2005, 18:41:01
Originally posted by MDA
I've nearly choked to death on my lunch, and tears are still streaming down my face.:lol:

Its the best thing that's happened all day. :beer:

yeah and now I have a repulsive mental image to cope with- imagine a pizza faced garden rake and a nu-metal wanker simultaneously having at a beached whale with a facial hair problem and a minge thats been busier than Michael Jackson and Jonathan King at a Cub Scouts convention :bash:

Lazarus and the Gimp
29-03-2005, 18:44:04
There's nothing more likely to turn me off the idea of DP than the thought of someone else's scrotum gently rubbing against my own.

MDA
29-03-2005, 18:48:36
Gently, or otherwise. Bad.

S_S: Thanks, now I have to go purge the rest of my lunch. Sicko! :)

Provost Harrison
29-03-2005, 18:49:01
Seriously though, Jasen...that is a chav name and then some :D

alsieboo
29-03-2005, 19:12:24
Ben and I are both allowed to see whoever the fuck we want, whenever the fuck we want. Thank you *so* much for that comment PB, but I don't think he should be taking advice from someone who still fancies Avril.

He's not a chav though, more goth/grunger than anything.

Lazarus and the Gimp
29-03-2005, 19:15:14
Didn't realise you were into Goths, Alsie. It's reassuring to see good taste being displayed.

alsieboo
29-03-2005, 19:16:53
I'm into anyone who expresses interest, I thought you'd worked that out by now. Goths are just more likely to be into s&m than chavs are

Lazarus and the Gimp
29-03-2005, 19:20:24
So are you dom or sub?

alsieboo
29-03-2005, 19:22:53
sub, mainly, I want to be dom, but lack confidence

Lazarus and the Gimp
29-03-2005, 19:24:27
That'll come with time.

alsieboo
29-03-2005, 19:27:06
I doubt it, they'll probably find me dead when I'm 20 as a result of some kinky sex game gone wrong. Fucking ametuers :P

Martini
29-03-2005, 19:49:49
Easy solution - stop fucking amatuers ;)

alsieboo
29-03-2005, 19:56:08
give me someone with experience and I'll take your advice :P

Martini
29-03-2005, 19:59:32
I charge for the services of my highly trained minions, I refuse to give them away.......

alsieboo
29-03-2005, 20:02:59
I'm sure we could come to some sort of arrangement..

Lazarus and the Gimp
29-03-2005, 20:05:47
I think I'm about to see some sort of time-share deal on Martini's gimps.

alsieboo
29-03-2005, 20:32:53
If only

Oerdin
29-03-2005, 20:47:04
Originally posted by alsieboo
I'm into anyone who expresses interest,

That's not very healthy. I'm sorry to say my dear but that sounds suspiciously like low self esteem so you may want to quietly ask yourself if that is the case. In any event make sure you use rubbers other wise you could end up like poor MRT with herpes all over your privates and ass crack.

TV4Fun
29-03-2005, 20:47:36
Originally posted by alsieboo
I'm into anyone who expresses interest. Yeah right.

alsieboo
29-03-2005, 20:58:56
Originally posted by Oerdin
That's not very healthy. I'm sorry to say my dear but that sounds suspiciously like low self esteem so you may want to quietly ask yourself if that is the case. In any event make sure you use rubbers other wise you could end up like poor MRT with herpes all over your privates and ass crack.

Low self esteem? Me? Never! It's better than it was in any case :p

Joel, in the UK, within reason. I turn down very few people, ask Christoph.

TV4Fun
29-03-2005, 21:00:10
Ah ok. I've gotta find someone like you who lives over here then.

Thales
29-03-2005, 21:11:01
Ah this brings back memories ;)


Goths are just more likely to be into s&m than chavs are


Prada just deserves punishment!

alsieboo
29-03-2005, 21:17:34
Doesn't it just!

Spec
29-03-2005, 21:18:16
I thought Whaleboy was gay.

alsieboo
29-03-2005, 21:19:24
bi

Thales
29-03-2005, 21:19:42
Originally posted by PosterBoy
dude, get yourself down to Blastchamber @ Soundhaus on a Saturday night and find someone better.


My, your google skills are good! What it wont tell you is that blastchamber hasn't been good for over a year now, if I wanted to spend an evening with 12 year olds on speed I'd have bought the Marilyn Manson back catalogue by now. Gone are the days of threesomes in the moshpit (no pun intended). :(

Spec
29-03-2005, 21:22:09
Originally posted by alsieboo
bi

Really? Ok.

That's a sure thing then. Your in for a real serious relationship alsie.

Japher
29-03-2005, 21:33:28
bi is probably the best thing to be... larger playing field, better odds.

Like they say in Idaho, however, "the odds are good, but the goods are odd"

alsieboo
29-03-2005, 21:37:45
the world is our oyster :p

sleeping_satsuma
29-03-2005, 23:10:30
the world is your bearded clam

sleeping_satsuma
29-03-2005, 23:13:30
Originally posted by Oerdin
That's not very healthy. I'm sorry to say my dear but that sounds suspiciously like low self esteem so you may want to quietly ask yourself if that is the case. In any event make sure you use rubbers other wise you could end up like poor MRT with herpes all over your privates and ass crack.

I'm with Oerdin on this..... you need a good psych and a good scrub down with Dettol and some steel wool.







*thinks*
I wish I'd known Oerdin's name was Joel before I created my Oerdin shrine......... :cry:

sleeping_satsuma
29-03-2005, 23:15:43
oh! duh! TV4Fun is Joel.......

which leads me to ask- what is Oerdin's real name?

Oerdin
29-03-2005, 23:26:28
Originally posted by sleeping_satsuma
[B
*thinks*
I wish I'd known Oerdin's name was Joel before I created my Oerdin shrine......... :cry: [/B]

It's John actually. ;)

sleeping_satsuma
29-03-2005, 23:50:29
ah I like that name. My lovely Grandad was called John. :)

HelloKitty
29-03-2005, 23:52:13
I call my toilet John!

sleeping_satsuma
29-03-2005, 23:53:32
she has to lower the tone!

Greg W
29-03-2005, 23:57:21
Yeah, a john is slang for a toilet down under too.

LoD
30-03-2005, 00:02:28
I'm with Oerdrin and s_s on this one... although I wouldn't be so decisive on whether its low self esteem or raging hormones that's driving you currently.
Regardless, I know a couple of girls who kept that kind of "pace" for a long time... needless to say, they were not really happy with it.

Immoral Wombat
30-03-2005, 00:27:36
Originally posted by alsieboo
I'm into anyone who expresses interest, I thought you'd worked that out by now. Goths are just more likely to be into s&m than chavs are

Just say the word and I'm there baby - graowrr!:D

sleeping_satsuma
30-03-2005, 01:06:42
Originally posted by Greg W
Yeah, a john is slang for a toilet down under too.

dunny not good enough for ya?

In Britain one does not refer to the place, one simply says 'i am going to spend a penny' or 'I'm going to the powder room' etc. British people do not have bodily functions you see. Except K_G :)

Greg W
30-03-2005, 01:15:20
God, there's a heap of things to call it here. One of my faves has to be "Going to drain the main vein". ;)

But a toilet could be a loo, a dunny, a crapper, a shithouse, a john, an outhouse, the toot (a ladies' saying).

Or if you're spewing, you can drive the porcelain bus. How ironic. :rolleyes:

sleeping_satsuma
30-03-2005, 01:16:54
visiting ralph?

Greg W
30-03-2005, 01:21:29
Yeah, saying hello to Ralph. Having a chunder, a chuck, a spew. An awful lot of them too...

sleeping_satsuma
30-03-2005, 01:25:22
all this australian manly talk is making me HOT baby!

:lol:

Greg W
30-03-2005, 01:40:58
Hmm, so Aussie talk about toilets and spewing makes you hot? :hmm:

BigGameHunter
30-03-2005, 08:43:34
No offense, but Australian and American linguistics (slang, whatever) are strikingly similar.

Alsie, Alsie, Alsie...I'm worried about you a bit...lots of creepy bugs out there these days.

Anywho, to answer the question:

Eros - Love at first sight, based on physical attributes and is mostly physical arousal;
Storge - loving affection that develops over time, is primarily affection and commitment;
Ludos - a rover and collector of loves, very pluralistic.

Secondary love styles: Mania - intense preoccupation with the loved one, intensly jealous and possessive, in need of constant reassurance of partner's love. Projects desired qualities on partner.
Pragma - looking for a compatible partner;
Agape - Selfless, caring without self interest.


Lots of different love out there...they left out Platonic I think...so good luck. Your brand I would term either "the wild abandon of youth" or "nymphomania". I'm not sensing a lot in the way of non-physical love, personally.

Oerdin
30-03-2005, 08:56:01
Originally posted by sleeping_satsuma
ah I like that name. My lovely Grandad was called John. :)

Mine too. And my father, and my great grandfather. I'm actually the fourth so I guess my family lacks creativity when it comes to names. ;)

MDA
30-03-2005, 12:43:48
Are we picking names for alsie's baby or her genital wart? I'm too lazy to go back and read page 2.

Venom
30-03-2005, 13:16:56
:lol:

alsieboo
30-03-2005, 14:19:32
:o well excuse me MDA!

BGH, I'm not a nymph, sorry. Wild abandon of youth is more likely :p

I'll stick to just screwing Jasen and loving Ben, much easier :)

Drekkus
30-03-2005, 14:25:11
How come I have the feeling Ben will be feeling screwed here.

alsieboo
30-03-2005, 14:29:41
:hmm:

Drekkus
30-03-2005, 14:37:05
j/k, i didn't read the thread so I have no clue of who is what to who.

MDA
30-03-2005, 14:37:31
Originally posted by alsieboo
:o well excuse me MDA!


You posted your relationship/sex life on the internet and didn't expect to get trolled? :p

alsieboo
30-03-2005, 14:39:50
I may be blonde..

Venom
30-03-2005, 14:42:50
Plus it was funny. And you know he really didn't read the other page.

alsieboo
30-03-2005, 14:47:23
Didn't expect him too!

Venom
30-03-2005, 15:21:07
Also, he rarely ever says anything funny. Or even anything worthwhile.

MDA
30-03-2005, 16:33:37
Nothing anyone else finds funny or worthwhile. I only post to entertain myself.

PosterBoy
30-03-2005, 18:04:31
Originally posted by Thales
My, your google skills are good! What it wont tell you is that blastchamber hasn't been good for over a year now, if I wanted to spend an evening with 12 year olds on speed I'd have bought the Marilyn Manson back catalogue by now. Gone are the days of threesomes in the moshpit (no pun intended). :(

Nope I'm not that far from you and sometimes go there after The Racehorse

PosterBoy
30-03-2005, 18:12:24
or if I got pregnant how many possible fathers are there?

sleeping_satsuma
30-03-2005, 18:29:30
Originally posted by alsieboo
:o well excuse me MDA!

BGH, I'm not a nymph, sorry. Wild abandon of youth is more likely :p

I'll stick to just screwing Jasen and loving Ben, much easier :)

just watch out Allie, not all diseases are prevented via a condom, and not all pregnancies either. I think your general rule of thumb should be 'if I accidentally got pregged up with this guy, how would I feel?'. Thats usually pretty telling. :)

BigGameHunter
30-03-2005, 19:58:01
Plus you might find yourself on Montel Williams just trying to figure out who the father is.
That would be embarrassing.

Venom
30-03-2005, 20:35:04
That's all Montel does shows about now.

BigGameHunter
31-03-2005, 01:51:50
Good work if you can get it.

Thales
31-03-2005, 13:11:33
Nope I'm not that far from you and sometimes go there after The Racehorse


The Racehorse, ugh... inside it looks like a cross between Antiques Roadshow and the gents at Wormwood Scrubs. I usually alternate between Revolutions, Fat Cats and Baroque. The cultured bohemian that I am, drinking other people's vodka. The gay bars around here have gone totally downhill :(.


How come I have the feeling Ben will be feeling screwed here.


Like I said, everything's cool. As long as Allie's happy with everything - we're too far apart at the moment for a de facto relationship. And someone said I have no self-respect... most of any self respect I do have comes from Allie.

Lazarus and the Gimp
31-03-2005, 17:08:06
Originally posted by Thales
And someone said I have no self-respect... most of any self respect I do have comes from Allie.

How's your head these days?

Thales
31-03-2005, 20:03:39
Better ;)