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alsieboo
09-03-2005, 21:46:08
A long time ago I said I would never have any sort of relationship, other then platonic, with a father. Recently I found myself getting involved with a married man and a 3 yr old daughter. If I'm not careful, I'm going to end up with another married man, with three kids.

The first one had already cheated on his wife once before, and I know that doesn't make it alright for me to go off with him, and I did end it yesterday, but if they've made all the moves, what is the right thing to do? Stand by my original principles and steer well clear of fathers, or take each one as they come and treat the kids like extra emotional baggage?

Asher
09-03-2005, 21:49:47
1) Steer clear of fathers
2) Steer clear of married men
3) Steer clear of married fathers

alsieboo
09-03-2005, 21:51:49
ok

miester gandertak
09-03-2005, 21:53:15
just make fun with the fathers and behead the children with a rusty saw.




hey bells !!!!!!! are you normal?

Martini
09-03-2005, 21:53:52
For fucks sake, you're 16, dont get involved with someone with children.

If you want to fuck him fine, but a relationship's just stooopid.

alsieboo
09-03-2005, 21:57:38
it's not a relationship, just 'fun'.

Asher
09-03-2005, 21:59:16
slut.

Martini
09-03-2005, 22:00:34
If it's just fun, then the kids don't matter.

Sex with anyone is ok. Always. I'm a professional slut, trust me on this one.

miester gandertak
09-03-2005, 22:00:39
jep

Gary
09-03-2005, 22:01:08
100-0 ?

Don't get involved with married men who are still with their wives. If they can't play fair with their wives, who can trust them ? The risk is too high that you won't be the exception.

Beware of getting involved with married men who are separated from their wives. Even if they're sure that, that past relationship is over, it will be difficult to accept someone else's children even if you think you get on well with them. Particularly true if they get custody and you don't know what you can or have to do when discipline is needed, since you aren't related even if you are the adult. Very difficult. Needs a great deal of thought.

The younger you are the more important to give them a wide berth.

Gary
09-03-2005, 22:02:26
If it's just fun, is the wife having fun too ? Would you like to be in her position ?

Martini
09-03-2005, 22:06:07
Of course not, that's why I'd never get married ;)

alsieboo
09-03-2005, 23:22:11
if the wife wants a bit of fun, I'm not averse to being with her too :p

Greg W
09-03-2005, 23:48:06
Morals come down to each individual person, Alsie. Only you can decide if being labelled a slut will bother you, cos many people with morals label those that sleep with married men as just that. If it doesn't bother you being labelled such, don't let it bother you. If it does bother you, then don't do it. Simple really.

50 years ago I would have said that most of society would despise a single girl having an affair with a married man. Now, it's not so clear cut. It happens all the time, and is a clear indication of the morals of tody's society.

The main thing that I think you have to consider is the real results of your actions. They would be:
- you'll be hurting the mother, and probably the kids, in a very real way.
- if it's not you, it may very well be someone else. The hubby won't stop cheating just cos you won't sleep with him.
- you can't expect much from such a man. HE's proven that he's worthless by having an affair with you, ergo he will not treat you well. Sooner or later, he'll mistreat you.
- you will get a reputation, which will effect your future chances at getting a good man. Which may or may not bother you.
- you may very well end up hurting some of your friends, if they don't agree with such actions.

In the end, I really have to question the quality of a man who is married with kids and wants to have an affair with a 16 year old. He's morally bankrupt, and really can't have any true feelings for you or his wife.

protein
09-03-2005, 23:58:36
Plus, if you set such low standards for yourself at 16 your going to end up doing these sort of things throughout your life.

alsieboo
10-03-2005, 00:17:43
I thought we'd already covered that last point protein, back when I wanted to fuck some guy I met on the net in public toilets.

BigGameHunter
10-03-2005, 00:57:12
Oh, man...it's a good thing there's nothing like you around me.

I am soooooo weak.

protein
10-03-2005, 01:03:15
Yeah, I guess we did. :(

BigGameHunter
10-03-2005, 01:04:07
Uh...no we didn't!

I was talking to Alsie you secret teller!

Darkstar
10-03-2005, 07:02:34
Wow.

Humm... I'm with Greg on this. I would think you wouldn't want to mess with married men, cause one day you might be the lady on the other end of that (having someone you care about messing around on you). Then there's the whole "She decides to go ghetto on you or in some fashion make you pay" aspect. There can be a lot of hate and anger built up when a partner steps out, and the betrayed will often unleash that on "the other person". You don't want to be that person then. Of course, knowing you cannot trust the bastard has some bonuses for playing, but even that will bite you in the ass eventually... as you'll find someone you want to stay with, but he'll dump you and move on. Or cannot commit to you because he is going back to his missus. That's just to name a few of the downsides.

Er... 50 years ago, we (society) would be cautioning Alsie not to play with the guy cause he's already got kids, and she could end up with her own set. Society didn't really care if the guy stepped out... just that the ladies didn't, or were very very careful.

Asher
10-03-2005, 07:15:30
Why the fuck do you bother typing out long posts to her.

Tell her "no" and leave it at that, it's so simple.

Darkstar
10-03-2005, 07:32:33
It's not simple. There are bonuses for going out with married men. She needs the down sides... the real down sides. Just telling her "no!" won't do anything. What are we going to do? Ground her?

:mad: Alsie, no! Go to your thread, and think about what you are doing! :mad:

See? Not very effective. A little funny though.

miester gandertak
10-03-2005, 07:36:36
BELLS, no! Go to your thread, and think about what you are doing! :shoot: :shoot: :shoot: :shoot:

Asher
10-03-2005, 07:36:59
If she goes and becomes a homewrecker so she can get her loose orifices drilled, that's her business.

But I don't think anyone here should be promoting the behavior in any way.

Oh, isn't this great...the gay guy arguing about the morals of relationships and integrity.

Darkstar
10-03-2005, 07:45:29
She isn't being the homewrecker.

To be the home-wrecker, she'd have to be the gal that "seduced" a hubby that had never strayed before. And, she need to be aggravating the destruction of the marriage. She's just going along with a guy for a spot of fun. She didn't spot a married neighbor and go "yum. I'm going to introduce that man to the joys of affairs." Alsie will toss him back into the cheating pool and move on, soon enough. Or, he'll dump her for a new bird, when the fun of having someone new wears off.

JM^3
10-03-2005, 07:47:08
I think that there are lots of gay guys who have integrity and morals in their relationships

and more should (And will once society gives them more support for their relationships, by supporting gay marriage)

also, I would like to say that I am against it as well, you should be messing arround with other young and stupid people, not older and stupid people...

Jon Miller

Darkstar
10-03-2005, 07:47:52
And what's wrong with gay people having morals and integrity? Just cause you prefer your own plumbing doesn't make you an honorless curr. Gay people have relationships and have the same problems in their relationships as straights.

JM^3
10-03-2005, 07:48:25
the difference is actually the child

so if you don't think you can be involved with that, don't be involved with the man (even a bit of fun can have consequences with children...)

JOn Miller

Darkstar
10-03-2005, 07:54:00
I disagree. Once the kids understand mommy or daddy is a cheating bastard, they learn that the cheating parent has "special friends". And those special friends change. Often, once one partner starts cheating, the other does it as well. Sometimes more discretely, sometimes more openly. But cheating to get even is *very* common. If both are cheating, there's no way the kids won't know unless they are very young.

Kids will figure out how to deal with the issue in their own way. Once they realize it isn't their fault (children think everything is their fault initially), they'll get a step forward on life. For instance, they'll learn that their parents are screwed up humans, like everyone else.

JM^3
10-03-2005, 07:59:05
no

I am saying that if Alsie is in a relationship with a father, that she is going to be involved with the child

which is a big deal

I am not saying that her not being in a relationship with the father wil mean that the child will be better off, I am just saying that she will have to deal with the child

you hvaen't addressed my point at all

Jon Miller

JM^3
10-03-2005, 07:59:53
and I am also saying that even if you are trying to ahve nothing to do with the child

you will end up doing so, unless the person you are involved with has notthing to do with the child

Jon Miller

Darkstar
10-03-2005, 08:05:30
Not true.

Plenty of married parents carry on with affairs, and keep their children seperate. Traditionally, it's easier for the fathers to do so then the mothers, because fathers can get away with looking after the children less.

My girlfriend's son has a best friend that is married with kids. And he's carrying on with 2 different women. His children never get dragged into the issue, because they are always at home or with their grandparents while he's stepping out.

A married woman is more likely to have to bring a child along while she is having a bit of fun. But "the other woman" usually doesn't have to deal with the kids, unless the father is keeping the children when he mets up with his fling. Or is stupid and using them for cover while meeting her.

It's only if the fling and the cheater decide to step up their relationship does children enter into the equation. And that problem is the same problem whenever someone in a relationship has children.

JM^3
10-03-2005, 08:09:18
there are still issues

I have a freind who is in a relationship with a father

and while he doesn't even live in the same state as the mother (they aren't married), his kid still gets into their relationship (And she doesn't like that)

Jon Miller

Darkstar
10-03-2005, 08:11:20
But that is a "dating someone with kids" issue. Your friend is a greedy little bitch, and resents the kid. Common occurance. Common enough to create the "evil step-mother" archtype, throughout all human culture.

JM^3
10-03-2005, 08:17:50
yes (to the first statement)

relationship with a father is what alsie was talking about

and I said it had complications which she probably doesn't want to deal with right now

which is all true

I wasn't talking about dating a married man, or dating someone who has kids with them all the time

Jon Miller
(I disagree that it is all about her being a greedy little bitch, although I do agree that she does/did have some issues of being attention seeking (for understandable reasons, which I will not go into since I am her confidant))

JM^3
10-03-2005, 08:19:05
note that I am not at all sure that I would want to get involved with anyone who had kids, even if I would never see them, right now

and I dont' cosider myself at all greedy...

Jon Miller

Darkstar
10-03-2005, 08:23:59
Originally posted by JM^3
I disagree that it is all about her being a greedy little bitch, although I do agree that she does/did have some issues of being attention seeking (for understandable reasons, which I will not go into since I am her confidant)

:lol:
You just agreed with me. Ok. So, your lady friend isn't little. Let's see... it seems you really like her. Hey, your business, and good luck. But it doesn't sound like you are her type. You've sketched out she perfers a "daddy" so far. ;)

JM^3
10-03-2005, 08:27:00
nah, she isn't my type and I am not hers (although there was a time, before I got to know her better, that I did like her)

and I think I am in the 'gay friend' zone

Jon Miller

Darkstar
10-03-2005, 08:30:05
JM, if you date someone with kids, it's a package deal. Honestly, if you've ever dated someone that is big on their pets, you'll learn that kids are actually easier to deal with.

It's been my experience that women with kids are a lot easier to deal with then women with no kids. Something about the difference in life experiences and changed priorities. Of course, you've got to be able to deal with kids. But thems the breaks...

Darkstar
10-03-2005, 08:31:21
I thought you were just bi or just bi-curious? Did I miss a significant episode in "Being Jon Miller"?

JM^3
10-03-2005, 08:37:15
ha ha ha

not bi, bi-curious, or gay

that is why 'gay freind' is in quotes

as in I am pretty sure that I am sexless to her

which is the case (unfortunately) for most my female freinds

Jon Miller

JM^3
10-03-2005, 08:39:01
could also be called 'brother zone'

(the fact that I tend towards that zone with female freinds is not good for me)

Jon Miller

Darkstar
10-03-2005, 08:41:43
Oh, that's not how it works. Haven't you ever watched Chris Rock? A male friend to a woman is a dick under glass. In case of an emergency, break glass.

She knows you are a guy. You just aren't interesting enough to her to be a boyfriend. You can fix that. Become rich.

JM^3
10-03-2005, 08:49:22
not interested in being her boyfreind

and I am just saying what all evidence and previous experience points towards...

Kpm <o;;er

Darkstar
10-03-2005, 08:54:47
Your previous experience points? What, did you get to carry your previous experience points over?

JM^3
10-03-2005, 08:56:28
to give gist of incident (it or similiar things have happened several times)

me, female freind, other female are talking about female freinds relationship issues

guy walks into room, they stop talking, guy leaves they begin again

I ask why so, am answered because didn't want to talk in front of a man

reply that I am a man, am answered that I don't count

Jon Miller
(am thinking that I don't want to start being the sort of freind to talk to about relationships...)

Darkstar
10-03-2005, 09:00:39
That's why you can't score them, grasshopper. A sober woman won't ever get involved with a man that knows her embarassing secrets. You want a GF, you are going to have to find a new crop of girls to hang out with and get comfortable with. Otherwise, your only hope is to get them really drunk, and be the best time they've had in a long, long time. I doubt that would happen, as you can't even hit all the keys correctly on a keyboard when you are buzzing...

Greg W
10-03-2005, 12:24:31
Stop hijacking Alsie's thread, and go back to telling her what an awful mistake she is making! This minute! :p

miester gandertak
10-03-2005, 12:26:27
alsie booooooo boooooooo booooooooo.

doooo
di
doooo

zmama
10-03-2005, 12:28:06
Alsie already knows it's dangerous. Otherwise she wouldn't have posted to try to get us to stop her

miester gandertak
10-03-2005, 12:31:13
wow, that's deep.
i guess you are a mama

zmama
10-03-2005, 12:38:39
I'm a bear...a rolly-polly cuddly brown bear.

With big claws and sharp teeth

Funko
10-03-2005, 12:38:53
Originally posted by alsieboo
but if they've made all the moves, what is the right thing to do?

Originally posted by alsieboo
Stand by my original principles

miester gandertak
10-03-2005, 12:41:47
Stand by my principals

Funko
10-03-2005, 12:43:32
They are good ones.

miester gandertak's principles:

1. Have another beer, you deserve it
2. Go to the toilet, so you don't fill your pants with green smelly poop
3. doooooo
di
dooooooo

miester gandertak
10-03-2005, 12:45:35
wrong i have 6 principles
1. Have another beer, you deserve it
2. Go to the toilet, so you don't fill your pants with green smelly poop
3. Go to the toilet, so you don't fill your pants with brown smelly poop
4. doooooo
5. di
6. dooooooo

Funko
10-03-2005, 12:52:22
Sorry.

miester gandertak
10-03-2005, 12:53:01
geeft niet hoor

Funko
10-03-2005, 12:53:41
Ah.

Give no whore.

miester gandertak
10-03-2005, 12:56:22
with a steel brah and 10000 kitchen knives?



:nervous:

zmama
10-03-2005, 13:01:27
A big brown bear

with a steel brah and 10000 kitchen knives

Funko
10-03-2005, 13:02:47
neuken in der keuken op der keuken mes

miester gandertak
10-03-2005, 13:07:24
neuken in de keuken op het keuken mes.

beuken
deuken
leuke
jeuken
peuken

Funko
10-03-2005, 13:25:05
Ah, I was copying it from K_G, should have know it was het.

het is LEET speek like teh. ;)

alsieboo
10-03-2005, 16:48:51
I already said I'd broken it off with him, so you've got nothing to stop, and as I also said, it wasn't a proper relationship, it was a fling. The only emotions involved were his, I never met his kid, I never met his wife, and it was only two weeks (where we saw each other 3 times only). I am not a homewrecker.

protein
10-03-2005, 16:56:08
Did this married grown up guy meet you on the internet? You could blackmail his arse. Hey, remember me? The kid you doinked? I really need a new bike...

Asher
10-03-2005, 17:55:49
Originally posted by alsieboo
I already said I'd broken it off with him, so you've got nothing to stop, and as I also said, it wasn't a proper relationship, it was a fling. The only emotions involved were his, I never met his kid, I never met his wife, and it was only two weeks (where we saw each other 3 times only). I am not a homewrecker.
You had sexual relations with a married man three times.

What would you call that.

Venom
10-03-2005, 18:27:52
Damn. I missed all this.

paiktis22
10-03-2005, 18:54:41
Originally posted by alsieboo
A long time ago I said I would never have any sort of relationship, other then platonic, with a father. Recently I found myself getting involved with a married man and a 3 yr old daughter. If I'm not careful, I'm going to end up with another married man, with three kids.

The first one had already cheated on his wife once before, and I know that doesn't make it alright for me to go off with him, and I did end it yesterday, but if they've made all the moves, what is the right thing to do? Stand by my original principles and steer well clear of fathers, or take each one as they come and treat the kids like extra emotional baggage?

That remined me that "song" by George Michael which goes I will be your father figure etc.
Anyways my unsolicited opinion is some girls just want to go for the "grown up" man. They want it want it want it and then justify blah blah. But the base line is they simply fancy it. That was all the deep thought for tonight.

Venom
10-03-2005, 18:57:08
Older chicks hate me. Chicks my age really hate me. Younger chicks hate me.

paiktis22
10-03-2005, 18:57:53
Yes but you have the men.

Lazarus and the Gimp
10-03-2005, 19:53:20
Ah, the moral quandaries! The free-wheeling libertine in me wants to go "You go, girl!", while the father in me wants to track the bloke down and break his elbows.

sleeping_satsuma
10-03-2005, 21:18:55
allie!
do I have to come down there and slap you upside the head??!

there are so many reasons why this is wrong and will bite you in the ass (see above posts)

However- my advice is go and do it, feel like someones less important half, reap the consequences, hate yourself, and then don't do it again.

You'll realise that being second best to another woman and a brood of kids you don't care jack shit about is no fun after the initial thrill is over.

Get your self respect back and move on.

(oh and ps- use a condom- NO EXCUSES-if he's fucking you he's sure as hell fucking other girls)

(oh and PPS when you're 30 you'll realise how worrying it is that this guy wants to fuck a barely legal girl)

Immortal Wombat
10-03-2005, 21:27:27
Originally posted by sleeping_satsuma
(oh and PPS when you're 30 you'll realise how worrying it is that this guy wants to fuck a barely legal girl)
Wanting is not the worrying part. The worrying part is that he is.

Oerdin
14-03-2005, 21:04:01
Originally posted by sleeping_satsuma

(oh and PPS when you're 30 you'll realise how worrying it is that this guy wants to fuck a barely legal girl)

Amen.

Venom
14-03-2005, 22:08:07
Plenty of time for me not to be creeped out.