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View Full Version : Why my managers hate me- parts 17-24


Lazarus and the Gimp
04-03-2005, 17:32:45
Today I have-

Had a blazing telephone row with HR, culminating with me threatening the departmental manager with the Data Protection Act.

Reported the new bonus scheme to the union on the grounds that it's possibly illegal (and definitely immoral).

Reported the divisional management to MORI for attempting to pass off skewed survey results as genuine. I'm hoping I'll get the head of the Customer Services Director for that one. I like to aim high.

Told the IT project manager that he can stick his new "Supersearch" system up his arse because it's a useless little birdie-fart in an ocean of shit.


I'm feeling goooooood.

protein
04-03-2005, 17:36:08
Well, when you're fired you can come and paint my bathroom. I'll give you a tenner.

Spartak
04-03-2005, 17:36:26
I thought you were the union rep at your office. Did you report the bonus system to yourself?

Lazarus and the Gimp
04-03-2005, 17:37:57
I'm not a rep any more- gave it up at the last elections. Some other bugger can take a turn.

Spartak
04-03-2005, 17:39:47
yeah and they really hate it when you do that and then bring them issues to deal with. Its our Branch's AGM net week and I know if I raise any issues for them to deal with the Chair (my best mate) is going to make some sarky comment about DIY!

Venom
04-03-2005, 17:57:29
You've got to watch IT people. They're evil.

The Shaker
04-03-2005, 19:35:44
the beardier , the more uniony in our place.

The Shaker
04-03-2005, 19:36:05
i'm not allowed in :(

Spartak
04-03-2005, 19:47:57
Into what? Work or the Union?

Venom
04-03-2005, 19:58:49
The beard club.

Spartak
04-03-2005, 20:04:01
well I can't help that bei9ng abeardy myself.

Asher
04-03-2005, 20:11:18
Professionals are unionized out there?

Spartak
04-03-2005, 20:16:36
Note everywhere but union membership runs at about 30% in the civil service and around 98% in the UK Immigration Service. When I cared enough to work it out, there were 2 non-union members in my office of 200+ people (85% of which were in my union). :D

Dunno what the finance sector is like but I think that Laz may be able to comment.

What about the met office Shakey?

Provost Harrison
04-03-2005, 20:26:33
Originally posted by Asher
Professionals are unionized out there?

Turning them into ions is not a nice thing to do! :D

Provost Harrison
04-03-2005, 20:27:34
I am going to have to assess the level of unionisation in my place now I am becoming permanent and see what the general concensus is...

Spartak
04-03-2005, 20:27:40
it does tend to make people more volatile.

Asher
04-03-2005, 20:30:39
When the Walmart workers in Quebec unionized, they closed down that store. ;)

Spartak
04-03-2005, 20:43:33
And McDonalds do the same every time as well.

Lazarus and the Gimp
04-03-2005, 22:49:39
We don't live in reactionary corporate dictatorships here. Union membership probably runs at about 50% or so in the finance sector, and there is a singular lack of barbarians at the gate.

Spartak
04-03-2005, 23:28:06
That's significantly better than the overall Civil Service rate and we are facing 104,000 job cuts, loss of the righnt to retire at 60, attacks on our pension, attempts to do away with our terms and conditions introduction of draconion discipline codes and removal of rigfhts of representation. You'd think with all that going on their might be more interest in unions.

Dyl Ulenspiegel
05-03-2005, 15:10:25
In our union, one fat corrupt moronic idiot has just been replaced by another fat corrupt moronic idiot. Her husband.

There is no other union in this country that sucks so much rotten pig shit.

C@H
05-03-2005, 18:07:46
What's a union in this context?

zmama
05-03-2005, 18:13:28
Dictionary.com

Main Entry: labor union
Function: noun
: a labor organization usually consisting of workers of the same trade that is formed for the purpose of advancing its members' interests (as through collective bargaining) in respect to wages, benefits, and working conditions

C@H
05-03-2005, 18:34:29
Ah.. THIS kind. A bunch of useless functionaries.

LoD
05-03-2005, 18:34:55
Originally posted by Dyl Ulenspiegel

There is no other union in this country that sucks so much rotten pig shit.

What about the ÍH?

The Shaker
06-03-2005, 11:22:11
Originally posted by Spartak
Note everywhere but union membership runs at about 30% in the civil service and around 98% in the UK Immigration Service. When I cared enough to work it out, there were 2 non-union members in my office of 200+ people (85% of which were in my union). :D

Dunno what the finance sector is like but I think that Laz may be able to comment.

What about the met office Shakey?

I think the outstations run at 99% membership while HQ is at 60%. Though things have been rising recently due to new CE, terrible financial prospects and the unmentioned, but whispered threats of redundancies. Plus fights between the board members and the general low morale of the staff.

Then again i also think our union are pretty toothless.

Spartak
06-03-2005, 15:30:47
Which one do you have? I would have thought most of your peiople were specialists or senior grades so Prospect and the FDA would predominate. Or have I got it wrong and you are stuck with PCS as well?

Dyl Ulenspiegel
06-03-2005, 19:37:10
Originally posted by LoD
What about the ÍH?

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Lazarus and the Gimp
07-03-2005, 17:35:50
Ho ho. Got an e-mail from the General Secretary of the union today. Revenge will be mine.

Spartak
07-03-2005, 17:37:01
what did he say?

Lazarus and the Gimp
07-03-2005, 17:43:37
"I'm looking into it".

I should clarify that the revenge is on the management, not him.

Spartak
07-03-2005, 18:47:51
Sounds a bit non-commital to me. Are you sure he is taking you seriously?

BigGameHunter
07-03-2005, 19:08:19
My enemie's enemy is my friend.

The Shaker
07-03-2005, 19:17:49
Originally posted by Spartak
Which one do you have? I would have thought most of your peiople were specialists or senior grades so Prospect and the FDA would predominate. Or have I got it wrong and you are stuck with PCS as well?

Prospect.
The only one.
There used to be another a while back but it vanished.

Lazarus and the Gimp
07-03-2005, 20:10:45
Originally posted by Spartak
Sounds a bit non-commital to me. Are you sure he is taking you seriously?

I think he will. It's an issue that would be a major publicity coup for them.

Put briefly, the executives in my area have set the key performance measures that will decide what bonuses all customer service staff get this year. I was checking them out, and saw that one of them was that in the next staff opinion survey, there should be a 70%+ approval rating for line managers.

In other words, if anyone gives their line manager a low approval rating, they would be helping to blow everyone's bonus. Unbelieveable, isn't it?

BigGameHunter
07-03-2005, 20:17:22
Sounds like a nice fail-safe.

Next, determine where the "bonus money" is being actually funneled and trot out all their high priced whores, yachts and beach cottages in the public press!

Japher
07-03-2005, 20:31:26
that's why I hate corporate hierarchy; your damned if you do and damned if you don't

Spartak
07-03-2005, 20:31:26
Originally posted by Lazarus and the Gimp
I think he will. It's an issue that would be a major publicity coup for them.

Put briefly, the executives in my area have set the key performance measures that will decide what bonuses all customer service staff get this year. I was checking them out, and saw that one of them was that in the next staff opinion survey, there should be a 70%+ approval rating for line managers.

In other words, if anyone gives their line manager a low approval rating, they would be helping to blow everyone's bonus. Unbelieveable, isn't it? Yep. Guarantees good bonuses for the bosses though. THier staff love them!

Staff in my office are being punished for complaining about not being managed by being made to spend more time with their line managers. Rather a fitting response but its pleasure I'd rather forgo.

Chris
08-03-2005, 17:59:27
Laz is the Legman of the business world.

Lazarus and the Gimp
08-03-2005, 19:54:53
Actually I've always been a breast man.

Chris
09-03-2005, 03:33:33
You still have the Legman diaries?

That was a classic.