View Full Version : Sudan 1

04-03-2005, 12:01:34
Customer: _ _ _Worcester sauce please mate ...
Shop Keeper: _ Sorry can't, it's off the shelves, cancer scare.
Customer: _ _ _Oh right, uh Chinese Chicken Wings?
Shop Keeper: _ Ah that's the same mate, cancer scare
Customer: _ _ _Hamburger Relish?
Shop Keeper: _ Cancer scare
Customer: _ _ _Sausage and Mash?
Shop Keeper: _ Cancer scare
Customer: _ _ _Cottage Pie?
Shop Keeper: _ Aye, ...no wait, cancer scare.
Customer: _ _ _So they're all off the shelves because of a cancer scare?
Shop Keeper: _ Yup.
Customer: _ _ _Jaysus, that's mad, just give me a packet of fags then.
Shop Keeper: _ No bother. 5.25 please.

Dyl Ulenspiegel
04-03-2005, 12:05:19

04-03-2005, 12:08:43
What's that have to do with Sudan?

04-03-2005, 12:10:56
damn furrreners ! (http://newssearch.bbc.co.uk/cgi-bin/search/results.pl?scope=newsukfs&tab=news&q=sudan+1)

04-03-2005, 13:20:15

That top joke is quality.

04-03-2005, 13:24:58
Talking of Sudan, is that where the money from the tsunami gig is going now that the tsunami appeal is closed?

That was probably the most unfortunate bit of anti promotion for berkshire live aid when all the news channels said "tsunami appeal over, no more money needed!"

They could have waited til sunday at least.

04-03-2005, 13:26:57
To be fair, they said they didn't need any more money well before BerkshireLiveAid was set up...

04-03-2005, 13:34:00
Different charities have been saying it at different times.

The DEC (Disasters Emergencies Commission) is still accepting funds. Basically what happens is when they have a specific appeal set up (like the Tsunami one) all money you contribute by law has to go to that appeal.

Where there is no specific appeal like that they can share out your money to any disaster appeal which may include the tsunami thing. Now the main appeal is the Sudan appeal.

As an alternative there is also a local Thames Valley cancer hospice which the venue owner might like us to consider contributing too, his stepdaughter died of cancer this year and she was treated there.

04-03-2005, 14:09:55
Cool. Are you going to take to the stage and say "joost give us the fookin' mooney!"?

04-03-2005, 14:10:34
Also, is Sting coming?

04-03-2005, 14:20:14
No, and in other good news we've persuaded Phil Collins NOT to do two performances!

04-03-2005, 14:20:57

I can feel it coming on your tits tonight. Oh lord!

04-03-2005, 14:25:23


Nills Lagerbaak
04-03-2005, 14:25:48
Surely it's

"I can feel it, coming in your hair tonight.....oh lord!"

"I've been wanking over pictures, of my dead wife....oh lord!"

04-03-2005, 14:32:03
Beautiful man. I have a tear in my jap's eye.

04-03-2005, 14:35:54
That's a great lyric.

Nills Lagerbaak
04-03-2005, 14:37:01
"Stop! think twice, cos that girl has got herpes growing in her tights"

04-03-2005, 14:45:18
now i'm hearing eazy-e

Nills Lagerbaak
04-03-2005, 14:48:17
Hmm, Phil Collins songs given the E-Z treatment. It might just work.

"Coming in your hair tonight"
"You'll never find a gay, in Paradise"
"Eazy kinda love"

Provost Harrison
04-03-2005, 15:56:02
Sudan 1

...Portugal 3


04-03-2005, 17:28:36
It gets better :D (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/4318419.stm)