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Gary
04-03-2005, 12:01:34
Customer: _ _ _Worcester sauce please mate ...
Shop Keeper: _ Sorry can't, it's off the shelves, cancer scare.
Customer: _ _ _Oh right, uh Chinese Chicken Wings?
Shop Keeper: _ Ah that's the same mate, cancer scare
Customer: _ _ _Hamburger Relish?
Shop Keeper: _ Cancer scare
Customer: _ _ _Sausage and Mash?
Shop Keeper: _ Cancer scare
Customer: _ _ _Cottage Pie?
Shop Keeper: _ Aye, ...no wait, cancer scare.
Customer: _ _ _So they're all off the shelves because of a cancer scare?
Shop Keeper: _ Yup.
Customer: _ _ _Jaysus, that's mad, just give me a packet of fags then.
Shop Keeper: _ No bother. 5.25 please.

Dyl Ulenspiegel
04-03-2005, 12:05:19
??

Drekkus
04-03-2005, 12:08:43
What's that have to do with Sudan?

Gary
04-03-2005, 12:10:56
damn furrreners ! (http://newssearch.bbc.co.uk/cgi-bin/search/results.pl?scope=newsukfs&tab=news&q=sudan+1)

Funko
04-03-2005, 13:20:15
:lol:

That top joke is quality.

protein
04-03-2005, 13:24:58
Talking of Sudan, is that where the money from the tsunami gig is going now that the tsunami appeal is closed?

That was probably the most unfortunate bit of anti promotion for berkshire live aid when all the news channels said "tsunami appeal over, no more money needed!"

They could have waited til sunday at least.

Debaser
04-03-2005, 13:26:57
To be fair, they said they didn't need any more money well before BerkshireLiveAid was set up...

Funko
04-03-2005, 13:34:00
Different charities have been saying it at different times.

The DEC (Disasters Emergencies Commission) is still accepting funds. Basically what happens is when they have a specific appeal set up (like the Tsunami one) all money you contribute by law has to go to that appeal.

Where there is no specific appeal like that they can share out your money to any disaster appeal which may include the tsunami thing. Now the main appeal is the Sudan appeal.

As an alternative there is also a local Thames Valley cancer hospice which the venue owner might like us to consider contributing too, his stepdaughter died of cancer this year and she was treated there.

protein
04-03-2005, 14:09:55
Cool. Are you going to take to the stage and say "joost give us the fookin' mooney!"?

protein
04-03-2005, 14:10:34
Also, is Sting coming?

Funko
04-03-2005, 14:20:14
No, and in other good news we've persuaded Phil Collins NOT to do two performances!

protein
04-03-2005, 14:20:57
Yaaay!

I can feel it coming on your tits tonight. Oh lord!

Funko
04-03-2005, 14:25:23
Er....

:nervous:

Nills Lagerbaak
04-03-2005, 14:25:48
Surely it's

"I can feel it, coming in your hair tonight.....oh lord!"

"I've been wanking over pictures, of my dead wife....oh lord!"

protein
04-03-2005, 14:32:03
Beautiful man. I have a tear in my jap's eye.

Funko
04-03-2005, 14:35:54
That's a great lyric.

Nills Lagerbaak
04-03-2005, 14:37:01
"Stop! think twice, cos that girl has got herpes growing in her tights"

King_Ghidra
04-03-2005, 14:45:18
now i'm hearing eazy-e

Nills Lagerbaak
04-03-2005, 14:48:17
Hmm, Phil Collins songs given the E-Z treatment. It might just work.

"Coming in your hair tonight"
"You'll never find a gay, in Paradise"
"Eazy kinda love"

Provost Harrison
04-03-2005, 15:56:02
Sudan 1

...Portugal 3

:D

Gary
04-03-2005, 17:28:36
It gets better :D (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/4318419.stm)