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Tizzy
17-02-2005, 14:27:46
Useful advice! (http://www.nationallampoon.com/nl/03_voices/loveletters/loveletters.asp)

MDA
17-02-2005, 14:29:08
Be sure to frame the letter by gluing cotton balls around the border. Chicks DIG cotton balls.

Venom
17-02-2005, 14:32:58
What need could I ever have for that kind of advice?

The Bursar
17-02-2005, 14:47:18
You could send a series of anonymous letters to another sad loser and then when they were feeling utterly happy and loved you could meet them in person and crush their hopes and their spirit?

Venom
17-02-2005, 14:48:20
Damn. That's a good idea.

Funkodrom
17-02-2005, 14:49:39
And don't forget the post scripts:

A good post script when addressing a single parent, for instance, would be "I have your child locked in my basement and s/he won't be getting any food until you sleep with me." For the married, "I have your spouse locked in my basement and they'll lose a pint of blood for every hour that transpires before you sleep with me" is acceptable

sleeping_satsuma
17-02-2005, 14:51:37
"One thing you have to determine is whether you're writing a love letter to a man or a woman"

:lol:

If you don't know that BEFORE you decide to write the letter, something is seriously wrong in your love life.

Venom
17-02-2005, 14:53:23
Originally posted by Funkodrom
For the married, "I have your spouse locked in my basement and they'll lose a pint of blood for every hour that transpires before you sleep with me" is acceptable

For many married folks, they'd enjoy their spouse being tortured.

sleeping_satsuma
17-02-2005, 15:03:11
Originally posted by Funkodrom
And don't forget the post scripts:

A good post script when addressing a single parent, for instance, would be "I have your child locked in my basement and s/he won't be getting any food until you sleep with me." For the married, "I have your spouse locked in my basement and they'll lose a pint of blood for every hour that transpires before you sleep with me" is acceptable

I'm seeing your dark side today

Funkodrom
17-02-2005, 15:07:17
I copied and pasted from that link. :lol: