View Full Version : Compendium of typical boss "tactics"

02-02-2005, 17:03:40
Entry number one -

Take file away from me with an air of "I will look after this as you arent important enough to deal with such matters". Do fuck all with file for 6 months. Get shouted at by client for doing nothing. Come and see me acting annoyed and asking "so what has been happening on the XYZ file?"


02-02-2005, 17:05:20
I'm lucky my boss never does stuff like that.

Stuff like that pisses me off and makes me argue.

02-02-2005, 17:08:05
It's annoying but I did feel smug passing it back to him a few days later saying my note of [date just before he took it away] tells you exactly what needs to be done on this file. He obviously felt a bit of a twat

02-02-2005, 17:17:39
So he should. Did you do it publically so he was humiliated and you were the triumphant soon to be unemployed office hero?

self biased
02-02-2005, 17:20:51
number two:

Blame those who were not present for any errors in the shift, and when questioned why the employee has to hear about this seeing as the employee was not there, respond with: "i'm just telling you so that you know."

02-02-2005, 17:26:57
Originally posted by Funkodrom
So he should. Did you do it publically so he was humiliated and you were the triumphant soon to be unemployed office hero?

No :(

I just handed it back with a post-it note on the relevent bit :o

02-02-2005, 17:30:53

02-02-2005, 17:33:36
Originally posted by Funkodrom
So he should. Did you do it publically so he was humiliated and you were the triumphant soon to be unemployed office hero? :lol:

Always do everything by email, so you have everything on record, and you can cover your arse. Especially is the others don't. I almost got nailed once when a company claimed I had verbally promised an assignment to them. Luckily I could produce an email where I said that under no circumstance our contacts meant they had the assigment already.

02-02-2005, 17:33:42
I'm saving up for a real big all action resignation :)

Assuming I have another job/career/country to go to.

02-02-2005, 17:35:24
Whats even more annoying is that they made me bloody partner here last year and I *still* get this sort of shit from him :rolleyes:

02-02-2005, 17:41:59
my boss does this

Him: "Japher, here's a new project. Make this your priority."
Me: "Ok"

time passes

Him: "How's that project I gave you?"
Me: "Good, I'm almost done."
Him: "What about that other project?"
Me: "Still the same. I haven't been able to work on it since this was made priority."
Him: "Oh, ok. We need that project done now, so switch priorities."
Me: "Ok"

Time passes

Him: "How is that project"
Me: "Almost done"
Him: "What about that other one"
Me: "still the same"
Him: "Why is nothing getting done?"

damn! I think I'd rather just post.

Lazarus and the Gimp
02-02-2005, 17:45:11
I'm just awed that Rodgers has a boss who takes work off him. That's against the rules of nature, surely?

02-02-2005, 17:47:50
Good point... Roger should just become more inept so that he doesn't have to do anything... Kind of like that old guy that every office has, that drinks coffee, hands out skittles, and roams the halls all day. The one that no one knows how long he has worked there, what his job title is, what he does, or even if he should be doing anything at all.

02-02-2005, 17:48:20
Heh - he takes it off me to make himself feel more efficient or something. Fuck knows. He should just put the files on a very very slow conveyor belt that starts in his office and ends in mine.

02-02-2005, 18:02:26
my boss does this:

' I have three projects for you, as well as the ones you're already doing'

Me- 'Excellent, they look really interesting- I really want to do them, but I can't because I'm covering the administration- can we get an administrator?'

Him- 'ahhh well we can get half a person, temporarily for three days a week'

Me- 'well we have more admin than that'

Him- 'ohhh but the big boss has put on a headcount freeze'

Me- 'I can't do both jobs at once'

Him 'well just do what you can'

6 months later....

Him 'whats gone wrong between us?' (thats a direct quote)

Me 'WTF??'

Him 'I feel like you aren't listening to me- what about all these projects?'

Me 'Yeah remember the admin? I still cant do both jobs at once'

Him 'Oh well just do what you can'

etc etc etc

does my fucking head in. I wouldnt mind but its a global company, its not like we cant afford the support.

02-02-2005, 18:03:05
"The next person to screw up is in big trouble"

After observing a coworker not catch a bit of flak for forgetting to put in an order before we ran out of cheese, I relaxed.
I got raked over the coals for letting labor costs run too high on my shift a few days later. Quit the next week.
"What did you do with my foo?" I've done nothing with it. Haven't seen it around, either. "I gave it to you to file/proofread/mail, etc."
No, you most certainly did not. I am not responsible for your failure to meet whatever obligation it is that's got you sweating bullets. Find another scapegoat.
One of my favorites is the email I got nine months after leaving grad school asking me what brand of CD-R drive I had installed in the labs computer three years ago. It was an HP. I would not normally remember this, but we had this odd conversation where I wanted to get something good, but cheaper, and he insisted I buy the HP because he said liked their customer service people.

I think he had just replaced this computer and was probably cannibalizing it for his kids comp at home and didn't know what drivers to get (his kids have an old Win98 comp, because he's got a slightly learning disabled son that's a bit hard on his toys).

02-02-2005, 18:06:32
I've been having trouble with this one project. So I asked for help and the boss was all "what do you want me to do about it?"

What the hell!?

So, I shelfed it... 6months ago

I got slammed for it last week.

Still, if my job requires some one else to do their job, and I lean on them as hard as I can and still nothing happens I shouldn't be held accountable... especially when you ask for help, and nothing happens.

02-02-2005, 18:16:10
Usually the best tactics to use against bosses is to try and stay out of range of their attacks and memorise their pattern. They usually have a weak spot that flashes red when you hit it. That tells you that you're causing some damage. Wait for the boss to open his mouth, jump over the fireball and attack. If you time it right you should be able to get off two shots before the second fireball appears, but have your finger ready on the jump button because you'll need fast reflexes to avoid it. If you're still having problems then reload and try shooting through the cracked wall on the previous floor so you can get into the secret room with several 1UP's in it.

Provost Harrison
02-02-2005, 18:42:16
Originally posted by Beta1
I'm saving up for a real big all action resignation :)

Assuming I have another job/career/country to go to.

Not a resignation, but I had a very acrimonious split from Novartis after a short period. If only I'd have had a tape recorder for some of the stuff, I'd have had them up for harrassment like a shot.

miester gandertak
02-02-2005, 18:54:40
if if, if is burned turf.

if ifs and ans were pots and pans (there would be no use for turf)

02-02-2005, 19:12:11

miester gandertak
02-02-2005, 19:13:51
no laughing in that one, my dingding is being kicked. one of the shakerpics

02-02-2005, 19:14:33

Looks funny to me :)

02-02-2005, 19:34:18
Not strictly a boss tactic but they're known to use it as well.

Someone starts raking you over the coals in an e-mail CC'd to half the company over something you've supposedly done wrong. You begin to smash the argument with your saved up proof (as mentioned above) and suddenly the big dog isn't in such a hurry to CC 17 other people on the message. So I feel inclined to add those people to the the following messages just so they don't feel like they're missing the climax and resolution of the story.

02-02-2005, 19:39:00
CCing is fun

02-02-2005, 19:51:01
BCC'ing is even more fun.

02-02-2005, 20:44:58
Write folksy topical rock songs.
Retun regularly to New Jersey
Wear working class cloths, especially faded jeans.

02-02-2005, 20:47:21

02-02-2005, 20:48:15
Be fair. That's worth two HARR's and a knee slap. ;)

02-02-2005, 20:51:32
I'm tired