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HelloKitty
01-02-2005, 10:56:04
Just thought I would share with you the two stupid things the last 2 days in my life.

1- Addiction


As some of you may remember froma feww years back Erin needed surgury and had a mess of hormonal problems.

Well, the result was she put on a lot of weight and now is trying to take it off.

She has decided she is addicted to chocolate and has to go cold turkey. Also no chocolate int he house in any form.

Now god DAMN IT, I never gave much of a damn about chocolate until now I realize that its gone. :(

Today my lunch was a hershey bar and a coke. MMMMM


2- Sex problems.

Nothing makes you feel better than getting kicked out of the bedroom so that your partner can be alone to take care of their needs.

Guys, if you are every using a toy on your lady friend and have had a few beers, be gentle. as questionable content said, 'enthusiasm is good, cervical bruising is not".

"Can you go in the other room so I can do what I need to alone." is not something you want to hear lol.



And as I type this last sentence, I am OUT OF TEQUILA!

Drekkus
01-02-2005, 11:04:29
uhm, ok...

miester gandertak
01-02-2005, 11:06:14
thanks for sharing :bash:

miester gandertak
01-02-2005, 11:06:51
i do see a link between lack of chocolat and the sex thingy.

King_Ghidra
01-02-2005, 11:08:10
so, HK is crap in bed?

HelloKitty
01-02-2005, 11:09:11
No, no scat at all.

Rodgers
01-02-2005, 11:11:29
You could always buy a lovely chocolate dildo and get divorsed.

HelloKitty
01-02-2005, 11:13:20
Since one of her dealers sent her a box of Godiva chocolates as a gift and she gave it away rather than giving it to me I may go buy a big bottle of godiva chocolate liquer and drink it tommorrow night waving a dildo around.

Our boarder loves seeing that int he living room!

HelloKitty
01-02-2005, 11:17:55
Oh, and she is mad at me because on her 30th birthday her dad called while she was out and I told him that I got her a leather strap and 30 birthday spankings.

I get the feeling my birthday is going to be sparse this year.

Scabrous Birdseed
01-02-2005, 11:34:41
Originally posted by HelloKitty
"Can you go in the other room so I can do what I need to alone." is not something you want to hear lol.

Hmm... There should be certain-- areas that you could touch to facilitate the joint, er, doing. Works for me.

Provost Harrison
01-02-2005, 15:41:33
Don't just stand by her, help her dammit ;)

alsieboo
01-02-2005, 15:43:59
I feel your pain HK.

MDA
01-02-2005, 15:45:29
Is it cervical pain?

Tizzy
01-02-2005, 15:46:01
There seems to me to be something odd in Scabby giving Kitty sex advice....

Funkodrom
01-02-2005, 15:47:26
:lol:

Venom
01-02-2005, 16:11:33
This thread is bizarre. And I like it.

Now if everyone could leave, I have some business to take care of.

Venom
01-02-2005, 16:24:55
Ok. I'm done. You can come back.

miester gandertak
01-02-2005, 16:29:26
link please

MDA
01-02-2005, 18:19:11
Cleanup in aisle one!

Lazarus and the Gimp
01-02-2005, 18:23:36
Kitty needs to adopt male methods. Like wearing a strap-on to bed, and attempting to get Erin in the mood by repeatedly prodding her in the back with it.

Asher
01-02-2005, 18:29:32
sounds fun.

KrazyHorse@home
01-02-2005, 18:40:58
For 2. just apologise and go down on her.

Asher
01-02-2005, 19:21:47
Consider pouring chocolate syrup on her body and licking it off.

Venom
01-02-2005, 19:28:24
Note on above: Do not microwave choclate syrup before pouring.

Colon
01-02-2005, 19:30:43
Hey Asher, can't you post like 10 times in a row? I want to see what sort of psychotic effect a page filled with moving Southpark characters has.

zmama
01-02-2005, 19:33:38
He and Moby should do an avatar performance art piece

sleeping_satsuma
01-02-2005, 20:41:18
I'm really confused- is HK a man or a woman, and is he/she gay or straight and who is Erin?? Are they Limey or Yank?

Lazarus and the Gimp
01-02-2005, 20:45:15
HK is all woman, all gay, and all over Erin.

Venom
01-02-2005, 20:47:39
All of those things.

Colon
01-02-2005, 20:47:47
And a yank. Good subject to chat about over during tea.

MDA
01-02-2005, 20:48:38
Originally posted by sleeping_satsuma
I'm really confused- is HK a man or a woman, and is he/she gay or straight and who is Erin?? Are they Limey or Yank?

Yes.

Venom
01-02-2005, 20:50:16
Quarduple x-post! Nice.

Darkstar
01-02-2005, 20:53:16
Originally posted by sleeping_satsuma
I'm really confused- is HK a man or a woman, and is he/she gay or straight and who is Erin?? Are they Limey or Yank?

HK says she's a yankie lesbian who has been in a committed relationship with Erin for some time.

Venom
01-02-2005, 20:56:14
And there goes Killjoy.

Darkstar
01-02-2005, 21:05:29
Hey, this is the forum of Keith! Some people here didn't even think Sleeper was AH when she said so! ;)

If you had been a touch slower posting, we could have had a 5 X.

Venom
01-02-2005, 21:07:51
I'm sorry, I can't set my posting speed level to geriatric.

Darkstar
01-02-2005, 21:09:48
It will happen naturally. No worries.

Venom
01-02-2005, 21:26:41
You won't be able to tell any difference in my posts. My fingers have always been faster than my brain.

Darkstar
01-02-2005, 21:27:53
Then, you'll turn into Jon Mllrei?

Venom
01-02-2005, 21:33:40
I'll always be intentionally funny.

Darkstar
01-02-2005, 21:39:07
So you are admitting you are an AE of Funko? I thought you were my more intelligent and classy AE! :cry:

Venom
01-02-2005, 21:42:21
I can be everyone's AE. I'm a forum bot. Everyone here is me, and I am everyone.

Darkstar
01-02-2005, 21:43:37
Hey! KEITH ISN'T A FORUM BOT! :mad:

Venom
01-02-2005, 21:45:48
He sure isn't real.

Darkstar
01-02-2005, 21:51:56
Don't blasphemize like that! He might delete your account!

Colon
01-02-2005, 21:52:59
Worst tit-for-tat ever.

Darkstar
01-02-2005, 21:56:12
:bounce: :bounce:


Better?

Venom
01-02-2005, 21:56:24
No way. I've been involved in worse.

Darkstar
01-02-2005, 21:58:36
It's obvious that Colon just wanted more norks, isn't it? A lesbian talking about her sex problems and addiction. Think about it. Should be a high tit-for-twat factor if this was, say, the Playboy or Hustler forum. Instead, it's CG, where all things devolve into accusations of ...

Colon
01-02-2005, 22:16:32
I'm obsessed about norks, you're obsessed about Keith. To each his own.

Darkstar
01-02-2005, 23:51:24
I'm not obsessed about Keith. I'm obsessed with Keith! Get it right! :mad:

Colon
01-02-2005, 23:58:15
Kommaneuker!

HelloKitty
02-02-2005, 04:11:02
Originally posted by sleeping_satsuma
I'm really confused- is HK a man or a woman, and is he/she gay or straight and who is Erin?? Are they Limey or Yank?

How many 100-0 did you earn in this thread?