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Funkodrom
27-01-2005, 15:18:55
I have recently learnt a new technique. I can ask you two simple questions and immediately find out at least one of your incarnations in a past life.


1. Cheese or the colour purple?
2. Name something blue.

Post your answers and I'll tell you who you were. The scientists amongst you should see if you can work out the secret.

Immortal Wombat
27-01-2005, 15:25:12
Purple
The sky

Drekkus
27-01-2005, 15:26:12
1. Coffee, or double esspresso to be exact
2. Shade

Funkodrom
27-01-2005, 15:30:02
Immortal Wombat -

You were a smalltime prostitute in the late 18th century. You were eventually hanged in 1887 for stealing from a gentleman, a charge you denied, but didn't have the necessary clout to get the verdict changed to transportation. Possibly the gentleman pulled strings!

Drekkus:

This is your first time in human form but you were a very successful mouse at one point.

Venom
27-01-2005, 15:31:46
1. Cheese
2. my fleece pullover

protein
27-01-2005, 15:33:07
I thought everyone was either a Roman Centurian or a Native American warrior.

Drekkus
27-01-2005, 15:35:15
Clickerdeclick!

Funkodrom
27-01-2005, 15:35:53
Wow, a duet of genuinely famous people.

Venom

Obvious one really, you were Japan's first Emperor Jimmu

protein

You were Antisthenes famous Greek. One of the Cynics, a friend of Diogenes.

Venom
27-01-2005, 15:37:37
WORSHIP ME! BITCHES-SAN!

alsieboo
27-01-2005, 15:38:59
Purple
Water

Funkodrom
27-01-2005, 15:40:23
There's another japan connection too. You were also Pat Morita's early career (not Pat Morita, just his career) up until the aptly named - I Wonder Who's Killing Her Now which was known as Kill My Wife Please in the US.

Tizzy
27-01-2005, 15:40:40
Purple
My guitar keyring

paiktis22
27-01-2005, 15:41:03
Purple
Sky
(I hope it's free)

Venom
27-01-2005, 15:41:03
BTW, my friends call me Kamu-Yamato. So you can call me Emperor Jimmu.

Drekkus
27-01-2005, 15:42:24
Originally posted by Venom
WORSHIP ME! BITCHES-SAN! :lol: :lol:

Drekkus
27-01-2005, 15:43:23
I hope I was a wheel mouse, not one of those ballmouses you have to use your thumb with.

MDA
27-01-2005, 15:45:02
cheese sky

Beta1
27-01-2005, 15:45:07
1:Purple.
2:light around 450nm in wavelength

Funkodrom
27-01-2005, 15:47:38
alsieboo

You were a medieval cobbler who pioneered a new method of stitching bells onto jester shoes bringing pleasure to thousands of courtiers.

Tizzy

You were an egyptian scribe, sadly put to death for graffitiing pharoe's palace. D'oh.

paiktis22

You were a sailor in the early 19th century. Somewhat ironically you were on the boat that transported the Elgin Marbles to England in 1816

Drekkus
27-01-2005, 15:48:50
Who's Elgin?

paiktis22
27-01-2005, 15:49:20
and naturally I'm still broke...

Funkodrom
27-01-2005, 15:50:27
MDA

You were amongst the first Native Americans to die of smallpox!

Beta1

You have actually been a very talented castrato singer and a eunuch in a harem in your time! OUCH!

Beta1
27-01-2005, 15:53:54
:lol:

Funkodrom
27-01-2005, 15:54:36
It's good that you can laugh (in such a high pitched voice) about it.

Venom
27-01-2005, 15:54:38
You ball-less bastard.

MDA
27-01-2005, 15:56:20
I demand a double share of reparations!

Drekkus
27-01-2005, 15:57:18
you broken?

zmama
27-01-2005, 15:58:53
Cheese
me

paiktis22
27-01-2005, 15:59:18
ooooh... so poetic

Funkodrom
27-01-2005, 15:59:21
Unfortunately the stupid courts have ruled this flawless scientific technique inadmissable.

It's not my fault Judge Grant was a gutless coward of a centurion who was hated by his men as much as by the boys he loved.

Maybe I shouldn't have told him things hadn't changed much with his karma in 2000 years. Oh well.

Funkodrom
27-01-2005, 16:01:39
zmama

As humans settled down to farm more than hunt and gather you emerged from the barter trade as an early concept of money.

MOBIUS
27-01-2005, 16:03:33
Cheese

My Gloves

Funkodrom
27-01-2005, 16:05:27
MOBIUS

You're my wife now, Dave.

MOBIUS
27-01-2005, 16:05:35
Originally posted by Funkodrom
Immortal Wombat -

You were a smalltime prostitute in the late 18th century. You were eventually hanged in 1887 for stealing from a gentleman, a charge you denied, but didn't have the necessary clout to get the verdict changed to transportation. Possibly the gentleman pulled strings!

Anyone else notice that IW was an incredibly elderly prostitute when he was hanged?:cute:

MOBIUS
27-01-2005, 16:06:37
Originally posted by Funkodrom
MOBIUS

You're my wife now, Dave.

Well slap me silly and call me flossie!:love:

Funkodrom
27-01-2005, 16:07:33
Originally posted by MOBIUS
Anyone else notice that IW was an incredibly elderly prostitute when he was hanged?:cute:

I meant 1787, you twatbrain.

MDA
27-01-2005, 16:07:52
Originally posted by MOBIUS
Anyone else notice that IW was an incredibly elderly prostitute when he was hanged?:cute:

:lol: oops!

Gary
27-01-2005, 16:08:16
He ?

Funkodrom
27-01-2005, 16:11:08
One slip of the keyboard and all your good works go out the window.

Like when MOBIUS was working as a Priest in the Wild West, do they name anything after his many good works or charitable acts? No. But one late night trip to the outside toilet, an unfortunate death and suddenly it's Cactusass Preacher Row.

Drekkus
27-01-2005, 16:11:56
Originally posted by MOBIUS
Anyone else notice that IW was an incredibly elderly prostitute when he was hanged?:cute: You should be rolleyed for that, but it's funny. :lol:

Martini
27-01-2005, 16:12:56
Purple

Bruises

Funkodrom
27-01-2005, 16:16:23
Martini

Another famous one! We are quite a bunch here at CG. Robert Pershing Wadlow - at the time the world's tallest man at 8' 11.1" - 273cm.

Drekkus
27-01-2005, 16:26:59
He was as big as a tank!

Venom
27-01-2005, 16:30:36
I'm famouser and more important.

Funkodrom
27-01-2005, 16:33:36
Woah-oh-oh-oh, camouflage
This was an awfully strange (big) marine

Drekkus
27-01-2005, 16:33:44
So the people who were famous in past lives fucked up pretty bad if they have to come back as a counterglow poster.

Martini
27-01-2005, 16:33:57
But I could crush you like a bug. I win.

Venom
27-01-2005, 16:36:36
I'm the great grandson of a god. Crush that you big, slow piece of shit/

Martini
27-01-2005, 16:40:25
Consider it done

zmama
27-01-2005, 16:40:52
I wish I were still made of money

Funkodrom
27-01-2005, 16:41:17
This always happens when people find out who they used to be.

No Chinese yet - surprising.

Venom
27-01-2005, 16:41:22
Can't catch me and proto-samurai skills. Beeyotch!

miester gandertak
27-01-2005, 16:56:23
:lol: best thread ever.

really pissed my pants with: WORSHIP ME! BITCHES-SAN!

Venom
27-01-2005, 17:05:09
Don't feel bad. You're not the first person I've made piss their pants today. Including myself.

Funkodrom
27-01-2005, 17:06:38
mr g has not only never had a past life, he doesn't even exist in this one.

Venom
27-01-2005, 17:07:52
His dingding has no future.

miester gandertak
27-01-2005, 17:07:52
Venom you really are a jolly jolly funny boy.

zmama
27-01-2005, 17:11:02
Fat people are the jolliest

Venom
27-01-2005, 17:12:31
I'm only happy when I'm insulting.

Dyl Ulenspiegel
27-01-2005, 17:12:57
Cheese

My sofa

miester gandertak
27-01-2005, 17:13:26
Originally posted by Funkodrom
mr g has not only never had a past life, he doesn't even exist in this one. hmmmm thats deep, can i see my daddy soon?

Drekkus
27-01-2005, 17:14:48
Maybe you had a pasta life?

zmama
27-01-2005, 17:15:48
Rotini...the screwy pasta

miester gandertak
27-01-2005, 17:37:01
Originally posted by zmama
Rotini...the screwy pasta hmmmm thats deep, can i see my daddy soon?

zmama
27-01-2005, 17:39:27
You're gonna make me cry

miester gandertak
27-01-2005, 17:40:30
wish i could

zmama
27-01-2005, 17:43:43
That did it :(

:cry:

fp
27-01-2005, 17:43:53
I can't decide if this one or the Jom N;;er sit com thread should be Thread of the Month.

1. Cheese
2. My duvet

Venom
27-01-2005, 17:46:25
Nobody makes zmama cry! I hope Tizzy's got some steel toed boots ready.

zmama
27-01-2005, 17:49:11
Hey you made me cry about your doggie!

She'll have to visit the US with them beautiful boots :)

Tizzy
27-01-2005, 17:50:19
These boots were made for travelling... :)

zmama
27-01-2005, 17:52:01
Tizzy has the Excellent Blue Steel boots of Travel and Chase

Venom
27-01-2005, 17:52:23
Pepper is a special case! And if you tried to kick me, the ghost of Pepper would rise up and rip you to shreds.

MDA
27-01-2005, 17:58:51
Originally posted by Tizzy
These boots were made for travelling... :)

No! Don't post it Provost!!! Fight it!

The Shaker
27-01-2005, 17:59:39
cheese
cheese

zmama
27-01-2005, 18:00:33
*flash*

Nice picture

You were a Dutch Mexican in your past life

http://www.loudmedicine.net/unholypics/mexricsm.jpg

MoSe
27-01-2005, 18:05:46
cheese
velvet

miester gandertak
27-01-2005, 18:31:01
dutch?

the beer?

zmama
27-01-2005, 18:31:44
ja

miester gandertak
27-01-2005, 18:36:03
goedzo

sleeping_satsuma
27-01-2005, 19:47:41
Originally posted by Funkodrom
I have recently learnt a new technique. I can ask you two simple questions and immediately find out at least one of your incarnations in a past life.


1. Cheese or the colour purple?
2. Name something blue.

Post your answers and I'll tell you who you were. The scientists amongst you should see if you can work out the secret.


Yaay! do me! do me!

1.fromage
2. lapis lazuli

fp
27-01-2005, 20:15:07
That already tells us that you were something pretentious in a past life. :D

zmama
27-01-2005, 20:30:55
And amazingly there was a bit of carry over

Venom
27-01-2005, 21:06:28
Just a bit.

Chris
27-01-2005, 21:35:03
Cheese

Water

Lazarus and the Gimp
27-01-2005, 23:06:55
1- Gruyere

2- "Debbie does Dallas"

jsorense
27-01-2005, 23:35:17
purple
The Blue Man Group
:nervous:

BigGameHunter
28-01-2005, 07:26:09
Cheese. The ocean.

DaShi
28-01-2005, 07:39:02
Cheese

:(

Funkodrom
28-01-2005, 10:00:11
Shit! that's a lot of pasts to tell.

fp:

A confused young man, you were locked up in a quite horrible institution after getting a bit confused one day and deciding to make some money on the streets as a monkey grinder. Gruesome, but some people seemed jolly amused by the monkey deaths and more than a few households had meat for the first time that month that night.


The Shaker:

You were the elephant keeper at London Zoo! Nice. Apparently they had to keep you away from smaller animals for some reason.

MoSe:

Hey, you are buried in the Great Wall of China! You weren't working there, just one night, as a kid, you went to have a look at the site and fell in a big hole. You idiot.

sleeping_satsuma:

You used to be a colony of especially pungent bacteria that made some particularly strong cheese for the court of Louis XIVth!

Chris:

Now this is a coincidence! You were a jester who was amongst the first in England to wear the new boots with bells developed by alsieboo!

Lazarus and the Gimp:

Anothe famous one! This time the Venesualan explorer Morón!

BigGameHunter:

A bit of a step down from your current title but back in Victorian England you were a flea catcher for one of the largest Flea Circusses in the north of England!

DaShi:

You were once instant noodle soup. Just add boiling water. Disappointing that probably. Sorry.

Drekkus
28-01-2005, 10:09:53
:lol:

miester gandertak
28-01-2005, 10:10:19
:lol:

BigGameHunter
28-01-2005, 10:14:33
Flea catcher? Figures.

Sir Penguin
28-01-2005, 10:14:49
1. Cheese
2. #0000FF

SP

miester gandertak
28-01-2005, 10:25:54
what is your story Funko?

Scabrous Birdseed
28-01-2005, 10:27:21
1. The colour
2. Me, 'cause I miss my GF, though I'm flying back tonight so I shouldn't be really.

Funkodrom
28-01-2005, 10:28:24
I can't do myself unfortunately. Knowing the science means I skew my answers.

I'll do more later. That many at once is a bit tiring.

miester gandertak
28-01-2005, 10:38:53
one question Oracle Funko:

How can you read my past without two simple questions?
Is that why you saw: mr g has not only never had a past life, he doesn't even exist in this one ?

if you wanna doe a proper one.

1.saturday
2.Queen of England. hehehehe naked.

Chris
28-01-2005, 12:44:01
Now this is a coincidence! You were a jester who was amongst the first in England to wear the new boots with bells developed by alsieboo! They are on display to this day at the imbecile museum in Surrey.

sleeping_satsuma
28-01-2005, 13:16:32
Originally posted by zmama
And amazingly there was a bit of carry over

wow, you must have been something smug and irritating!

King_Ghidra
28-01-2005, 13:18:16
i'd be happy if someone could just locate my current life

sleeping_satsuma
28-01-2005, 13:19:23
Originally posted by Funkodrom
sleeping_satsuma:

You used to be a colony of especially pungent bacteria that made some particularly strong cheese for the court of Louis XIVth!



that explains my love of roquefort :)

sleeping_satsuma
28-01-2005, 13:20:35
Originally posted by King_Ghidra
i'd be happy if someone could just locate my current life

I'm sure there's a joke in here about raisin hell :)

King_Ghidra
28-01-2005, 13:26:56
that's currant :P

anyway i'd be grapeful if you didn't wine about it

sleeping_satsuma
28-01-2005, 13:28:29
fig-et about it!

mr.G
01-09-2005, 14:19:41
Originally posted by miester gandertak
one question Oracle Funko:

How can you read my past without two simple questions?
Is that why you saw: mr g has not only never had a past life, he doesn't even exist in this one ?

if you wanna doe a proper one.

1.saturday
2.Queen of England. hehehehe naked.
i'm waiting I'm waiting.....

Venom
01-09-2005, 14:22:15
Nice bump, asshole.

Funko
01-09-2005, 14:22:25
Originally posted by miester gandertak
one question Oracle Funko:

How can you read my past without two simple questions?
Is that why you saw: mr g has not only never had a past life, he doesn't even exist in this one ?

if you wanna doe a proper one.

1.saturday
2.Queen of England. hehehehe naked.

The questions are just a prop, I don't really need them and it doesn't matter what you answer. I can see/feel the answer.

Dyl Ulenspiegel
01-09-2005, 14:23:31
Can you smell the answer?

self biased
01-09-2005, 14:29:02
cheese,
pictsies.

Fistandantilus
01-09-2005, 14:37:17
:lol: at the whole thread

*worships Venom*

mr.G
01-09-2005, 14:51:38
Originally posted by Venom
Nice bump, asshole. thanks sweety pie

Venom
01-09-2005, 15:01:51
Another minon for my army.

Aredhran
07-12-2005, 09:52:45
I can't believe I missed that thread !

1. cheese (of course)
2. my wife's eyes

mr.G
07-12-2005, 09:57:40
guess Funko has lost it.

Nav
07-12-2005, 10:40:49
I remember this thread but must have had funko on ignore then...

1. Purple
2. My bedroom walls.

mr.G
07-12-2005, 10:41:49
1. Purple
2. Will's bedroom balls.

Tizzy
07-12-2005, 11:10:27
I wanna try again.

1. Purple
2. Eeyore

Kitsuki
07-12-2005, 13:06:26
I wasnt posting back then!

1. Purple
2. My jumper today

mr.G
07-12-2005, 13:09:08
Kitsucki Date Registered: 20-05-2003
thread started 27-01-2005 16:18 but wasn't posting properly till last februari / march

half liar

Kitsuki
07-12-2005, 13:10:28
Mr.G - poor reader - I didnt start posting properly until about February/March - liar!

mr.G
07-12-2005, 13:17:48
damn you, politics hah.
better go now before you debate me a huge headache.

Nav
07-12-2005, 13:37:57
maybe funko has quit his past life locator life, maybe because he discovered that in his own past life he was a past life locator, who discovered that in his past life was a past life locator, who discovered that in his past life was a past life locator, and he just couldnt be bothered anymore..

mr.G
07-12-2005, 13:40:58
just like the droste-effect?

Japher
07-12-2005, 13:42:42
or Jean Claude Van Damme went back and arrested him while doing the splits

Nav
07-12-2005, 13:46:45
Funko doing the splits and being arrested at the same time.. that would be funny.

Funko
07-12-2005, 13:47:13
Maybe Funko is lazy.

Funko
07-12-2005, 13:47:57
I was inspired to do this when it first came up, now I think any past lives would be lame semi-copies of old ones I did. It's time has gone.

I think most of the later ones I did were a bit shit.

maroule
07-12-2005, 13:57:06
"Its time has gone"


I used to be an English teacher, I suppose

Funko
07-12-2005, 14:01:32
:lol:

mr_G
22-05-2007, 08:34:29
bump

Funko
22-05-2007, 08:52:03
This thread sucks.

MOBIUS
22-05-2007, 09:02:02
Why the big bump?

Tizzy
22-05-2007, 09:04:42
:rolleyes: It was a mrG sized bump

mr_G
22-05-2007, 09:11:41
:rolleyes:

Greg W
22-05-2007, 10:08:27
1) Roman Purple!
2) Blue ringed octopus

Am I too late to get a reading? :(

C.G.B. Spender
22-05-2007, 10:13:57
Cheese
Bavaria Blu

Funko
22-05-2007, 10:14:14
Yes.

C.G.B. Spender
22-05-2007, 10:14:45
sucker

Funko
22-05-2007, 10:17:16
No more readings because I can't remember what I said before and am likely to repeat myself and it's way too embarassing reading stuff like this back.

Greg W
22-05-2007, 10:18:29
What a lame excuse! :(

Vincent
22-05-2007, 10:21:44
what a sucker

Posting counsellor
22-05-2007, 10:41:14
Please continue with your analysis of the postings as described in you initial post, Funko. You should never abandon a thread you started, or people will lose confidence in you.

Funko
22-05-2007, 10:44:08
Thanks, your advice is worth every penny.

MOBIUS
22-05-2007, 10:53:54
Originally posted by Funko
No more readings because I can't remember what I said before and am likely to repeat myself and it's way too embarassing reading stuff like this back.

He might turn you into an extremely aged 19th century prostitute...:cute:

Fistandantilus
22-05-2007, 10:57:58
Originally posted by Posting counsellor
Please continue with your analysis of the postings as described in you initial post, Funko. You should never abandon a thread you started, or people will lose confidence in you.

:lol:
Genius dl.

While you were at it you could remind Funko to focus on posting.

Vincent
22-05-2007, 10:59:47
As if someone ever had confidence in Funko

Vincent
22-05-2007, 11:04:45
I guess I was a boring old fart in my past life. Nothing ever changes

MoSe
22-05-2007, 11:10:35
you're a metempsychotic invariant

Vincent
22-05-2007, 11:13:18
I always was!

Venom
22-05-2007, 12:41:30
I am Emperor Jimmu.

Immortal Wombat
22-05-2007, 12:45:30
Originally posted by Funkodrom
Immortal Wombat -

You were a smalltime prostitute in the late 18th century. You were eventually hanged in 1887 for stealing from a gentleman, a charge you denied, but didn't have the necessary clout to get the verdict changed to transportation. Possibly the gentleman pulled strings!

Amusingly, I found a series of novels in which a character with my name is a thief-taker in the 18th century, often dealing with prostitutes who get hanged for stealing from gentlemen, and such things.

Lurker the Second
22-05-2007, 13:40:27
Missed this thread the first time around. Maybe it was in the secret forum.

If Funko were inclined to continue his readings, I'd say:

Cheese
Emperor Jimmu's balls

Venom
22-05-2007, 14:16:24
TO MY BALLS!

Tizzy
22-05-2007, 14:24:27
BLUE YOUR BALLS!!

(I think I might be turning into MoSe :nervous: )

Fistandantilus
22-05-2007, 14:26:36
Originally posted by Venom
I am Emperor Jimmu.

:bows before Venom:

MoSe
22-05-2007, 14:26:57
call me Odo

King_Ghidra
22-05-2007, 15:29:53
we'll stick with Weirdo

C.G.B. Spender
22-05-2007, 17:35:49
I stay then

mr_B
23-12-2009, 23:31:50
No more readings because I can't remember what I said before and am likely to repeat myself and it's way too embarassing reading stuff like this back.

you can't?

alsieboo
23-12-2009, 23:44:35
I can't believe I made those jester shoes. That's actually awesome, especially the bells bit.

jsorense
24-12-2009, 06:39:54
Please, let this sink to the bottom of CG hell.

Provost Harrison
24-12-2009, 11:18:22
We're already there.

MOBIUS
24-12-2009, 12:03:51
It's the inverse sinkage law - the scum floats to the top.

Cheshire Cat
24-12-2009, 16:05:59
sin cage