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Darkstar
04-01-2005, 00:23:53
I watched a bunch of movies over the New Year holiday. The highs and lows for me were...

The Best
* Underground: Actually a fairly good movie. The trailers and ads made it look like a straight World of Darkness rip-off to film, but it turned out to be worth not pissing on. That level is fairly difficult for Hollywood to reach these days.
* Van Helsing: Another movie that actually rose about its truly crappy trailers, reviews, and general buzz. It did a fair job at mixing up the old classics, being a fair FX monster flick, and in general not being a complete waste of time.

The Worst
*Hero: Horrible, horrible movie that pee would only improve. Lousy wire work (wires are visible in several shots), and lousy martial arts (very sloppy, some scenes looked like the actors were just following out what some stunt coordinator was shouting at them). Where did the buzz about this film come from? I don't remember. After watching this movie, I was pissed off I wasted a few cents of electricity on it. Those guys OWE ME MONEY!

So, what did you guys waste your movie time on this holiday season?

Japher
04-01-2005, 03:34:43
I got shit on the whole holiday. Everytime I went to see something it was sold out, and me in my ignorance saw anything else.

I went to see National Treasure and ended up seeing Life Aquatic because my mom wanted to... it sucked

I went to see Finding Neverland, and ended up seeing Fat ALbert because my friend had a 4 year old with them and didn't want to see a violent flick.

I did go see Meet The Fockers, it sucked IMO

Lazarus and the Gimp
04-01-2005, 17:11:25
Watched the Soderburgh/Clooney version of "Solaris" and it was a lot better than I feared it would be.

Watched "The Bourne Identity" it thought it was pretty good.

"Spirited Away"- yes, it's very good.

Funkodrom
04-01-2005, 17:14:15
Apparently they are making the third in the Bourne trilogy, it involves his infiltration and escape from an oil refinery.

They are going to call it Bourne Slippy.

King_Ghidra
04-01-2005, 17:19:32
in a strange coincidence, i watched the bourne idenitity recently too and i too thought it was pretty good

protein
04-01-2005, 17:48:09
Went to watch the Lemony Snicket film and I really enjoyed it.

Watched The Shining on DVD and I still love it. One of my favorite films I reckon.

Watched Jack Frost 2 the revenge of the killer snowman and couldn't watch through the whole thing because it was utter shit. It had the same cast as the original but was shot on video and so looked like a daytime soap opera.

protein
04-01-2005, 17:50:26
http://www.scifilm.org/reviews3/jackfrost2.html

The Shaker
04-01-2005, 17:53:19
Strangely I just got Borune identity through the post.
will watch it tonight.


Hero was good.
Van Helsing was shit.
Battle Royale 2- Sadly boring.
Star trek nemesis- Average
Once upon a time in America- Weird, disjointed, incomprehensible. then when it finished 3 hours later I realised I'd only watched the second half.

fp
04-01-2005, 18:23:20
The only film I saw for the first time over Xmas was an old Coen Brother flick called Blood Simple. It was really good in places but was probably the slowest paced movie I've ever seen.

Immortal Wombat
04-01-2005, 18:34:05
Originally posted by Funkodrom
They are going to call it Bourne Slippy.
Worthy of Pun Hell, that one.

Monday is 11-hour LotR:EEs day! :bounce:

The Shaker
04-01-2005, 18:48:19
Just discovered my sister now has an IMDB entry after appearing in phantom of the opera. Might have to watch that as well.

MDA
04-01-2005, 19:39:26
Hero was... strange. I'm glad it was my brother-in-law's money and not mine.

Saw the Bourne Supremacy, too, and enjoyed it. I figured out the plot twists ahead of time in parts, which is pretty rare for me, so maybe it wasn't so imaginative, but enjoyable.

Also, Harry Potter and the Prisoner... I enjoyed that one, too.

Beta1
04-01-2005, 20:04:06
saw phantom of the opera, pretty good. Actually thought it was better than the stage version.

and emmy rossum was absolutely stunning

jsorense
04-01-2005, 21:28:15
LotR, ee

Japher
04-01-2005, 22:06:39
Terminal - slow, but good
Spiderman 2 - Peter Parker is a dork
I, Robot - sheit

sleeping_satsuma
05-01-2005, 00:40:40
phantom- kind of good but I just kept thinking 'i bet this is better on the stage'
Bridget jones- kind of good but I just kept thinking 'this is very similar to the first one'

Debaser
05-01-2005, 01:18:22
Napoleon Dynamite - Best. Film. Ever. I watched it twice on Christmas day and twice on Boxing day. (though it could be a bit close to the bone for some of the Technoglow gimps that post here)

A Mighty Wind - Is it better than Spinal Tap? It's certainly close...

Spiderman 2 - While I'd basically enjoy any film staring Kirstin Dunst, Spiderman 2 deserves special praise for having the nerve to be kind of talky and intelligent when it must have been very easy for them to make a stupid overblow fights & explosions kind film. Did I mention that Kirstin Dunst looks lovely in it?

Debaser
05-01-2005, 01:19:14
.

sleeping_satsuma
05-01-2005, 03:04:43
she has weird little gremlin teeth and spooky eyes.

i want to see napoleon dynamite but there is no chance of my local chav cinema showing the good shit.

The Mad Monk
05-01-2005, 09:05:38
The clock on the wall, while transfering the portions of my music collection on cassette and LP into my computer.

King_Ghidra
05-01-2005, 09:11:25
Originally posted by Debaser
Spiderman 2 - While I'd basically enjoy any film staring Kirstin Dunst, Spiderman 2 deserves special praise for having the nerve to be kind of talky and intelligent when it must have been very easy for them to make a stupid overblow fights & explosions kind film. Did I mention that Kirstin Dunst looks lovely in it?

you found it talky and intelligent, i found it massively labouring the point

yeah so it's hard to juggle being a superhero and having enormous responsiiblity and having a personal life, i get it already

protein
05-01-2005, 10:24:04
Originally posted by Debaser
Napoleon Dynamite - Best. Film. Ever. I watched it twice on Christmas day and twice on Boxing day. (though it could be a bit close to the bone for some of the Technoglow gimps that post here)

Where did you see it? I like the look of that film too.

Funkodrom
05-01-2005, 10:25:22
I heard that was really good too.

Nills Lagerbaak
05-01-2005, 11:25:35
Originally posted by Debaser

A Mighty Wind - Is it better than Spinal Tap? It's certainly close...




Ha ha ha. That film was ace.
I like the spinal tap tribute....

"Is that the real stage furniture? It's only two dimensional, no-one's gonna fall for that"

"Firstly it's not furniture, it's a set and secondly, the audiance is so far away it looks real, and anyway it's not supposed to be a real giant chello"


Genius.

Funkodrom
05-01-2005, 11:57:21
I haven't seen that yet.

Debaser
05-01-2005, 12:18:27
Originally posted by protein
Where did you see it? I like the look of that film too.

I downloaded it off the internet. Do you have a multi-region DVD player? The DVD's out in America already...

Originally posted by protein
you found it talky and intelligent, i found it massively labouring the point

yeah so it's hard to juggle being a superhero and having enormous responsiiblity and having a personal life, i get it already

Haha, I don't mean it's The Seventh Seal or anyting, just pretty talky and intelligent for a kids action superhero film. *slight spoiler* Come on, when was the last time a bad guy killed himself in a film like this?

Gramercy Riffs
05-01-2005, 12:24:13
Seceratary (sic?) - How can a film with spanking in be so poor?Maybe I missed the point but this bored me shitless.

King_Ghidra
05-01-2005, 12:35:07
Originally posted by Debaser
Haha, I don't mean it's The Seventh Seal or anyting

btw saw this recently and thought it was pretty stunning. i have it on dvd if anyone wants to borrow it.

Darkstar
05-01-2005, 23:19:05
Originally posted by Debaser
Haha, I don't mean it's The Seventh Seal or anyting, just pretty talky and intelligent for a kids action superhero film. *slight spoiler* Come on, when was the last time a bad guy killed himself in a film like this?

Oh, about 50% of all the Japanese films that are exported out of that country. You know, that "I really am not a bad guy, so to prove it, I'm going to save the world from the destruction I was about to unleash on it, so grab the girl, Mr. Hero, and run out now." Or the other alternative, "Combat with you has cleared my complete insantity and granted me perfect clarity once again. Even though I totally kicked the snot out of you and shamed you before the entire world in such a fashion that all of humanity will have to know put your entire bloodline to death just as an act of kindness, in doing so, you reminded me of how much I was like you at your age. Therefore, I have decided to stop my lifetime scheme to destroy all the world, and will now destroy the world destroyer before it reaches critical stage. This, I do as an act of selfless love to you. One day, when you are stomping the backbone out of some young snot while you destroy the world, then you too will experience a moment of perfect clarity, and understand that this gift must be passed on to future generations. Farewell, and on your way out, don't forget to pick up your three gay lovers that you stomped the livers out of, so that you might prove you would be able to be the one to defeat me. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

And Spidey 2, come on! You cannot drown the fusion ball in a metal, but WATER is going to put it out? Look ma, no steam! PUHLEASE, you are just giving it a shit load of HYDROGEN, WHICH LOVES TO FUSE! THAT"S WHAT THE HELL THE BALL IS MADE OF TO START WITH!

Even for comic book physics, it didn't make a bit of sense! And that is really saying something!

Spidey 2 was a serious piece of shit. It was all... The universe always shits on Spiderman, so we are going to give him the biggest set of props you ever seen! Everyone loves him! All his problems just go away!

Bah. Just one bit of feel good would have been enough. Mary J, or his Aunt, or the Elevated, or Jamieson, or his best friend first deciding not to kill him, or Doc Ock or... but ALL OF THEM? WHO WROTE THAT PIECE OF SHIT? Superman's writer was filling in? Sure seemed it... A complete and total diss on all things Spidey.

Venom
06-01-2005, 00:43:38
Saw Troy last night. Pretty good. Not great, but better than I thought it would be. Pretty much threw a lot of the original story/mythology out the window but fairly interesting.

Lazarus and the Gimp
06-01-2005, 20:15:06
Originally posted by Darkstar
And Spidey 2, come on! You cannot drown the fusion ball in a metal, but WATER is going to put it out? Look ma, no steam! PUHLEASE, you are just giving it a shit load of HYDROGEN, WHICH LOVES TO FUSE! THAT"S WHAT THE HELL THE BALL IS MADE OF TO START WITH!

Even for comic book physics, it didn't make a bit of sense! And that is really saying something!



I didn't know that. Now that I know it, I still don't really give a shit either way.

Venom
06-01-2005, 20:38:12
I can't believe they had a man with metal arms. That's bullshit. I mean those arms were way too heavy and seriously...attached to his spine? Come on.

Also, this just in, there is a man with spider powers in the movie. What kind of crap is that?

zmama
06-01-2005, 20:41:50
:mad:

Damn, now you've spoiled it!!!

Venom
06-01-2005, 20:56:14
Futhermore, anyone who likes Van Helsing has questionable taste in movies. If the plot holes and inconsistencies in Spider-Man bothered you, I can't believe Van Helsing didn't drive you insane.

I hereby state that all Dorkstar movie reviews should be taken with a grain of salt the size of Utah.

The Shaker
06-01-2005, 21:25:58
Just watched 'Sexy Beast'
Quite good, whilst it toyed with falling into 'typical british gangster flick' it is actually very much a psychological movie. Very unsettling.

Darkstar
06-01-2005, 21:51:05
Hey, back when I first dissed S2, I told you... I'm an old rabid fanboy of Spiderman. Rabid fanboys rarely like Hollywoodizations. How many LoTR did it take to not get pissed on by every hardcore fan of Tolkien? ;)

Now, I bet vampire and wolfie fanboys and gals had a lot of nasty things to say about the silly little movie (Van Helsing). But it did fairly well, for being something in "The Mummy 2" genre (straight monster bashing action, no suspense).

It's all in your bias. I'm honest about mine. Unlike a certain Mr. Venom, who thinks that Spiderman2, being the ultimate "Happily Ever After" for the Big Pete, thinks is just the bestest greatest most fantastic movie, ever. Too much self indentification with the P^2 on that, I think, and not enough fan/genre focus on the movie. Or he'd see it was a seriously crappy movie for the "Average Joe as a Superhero". Fantastic movie for Superman (Everything always comes out perfect and we all live happily ever after in the Utopia I forge for the world) genre though, I suppose.

Venom
06-01-2005, 22:32:45
Happily Ever After? They both pretty much acknowledged that it was going to be extremely tough. Which will be played out in the next movie.

In conclusion, I end this discussion in the internet tradition. You're retarded and wrong. I rule. PWNED!

Darkstar
06-01-2005, 23:17:39
I may be retarded, but I'm right on this biatch! They both acknowledged they were going to live happily the ever fuck afterward. The only downside was she was going to have to put up with him chasing sirens. Put the movie in again and watch it, punk.

And to end this discussion in internet tradition, you need to drag in the Nazis, how America is evil, and finally compare Spiderman to Hitler, and how their lives are identical. You stupid, fuckeared, goat licking, frog hunting punk!

Venom
07-01-2005, 02:04:02
Too late. You have been declared PWNED. Nothing you say matters.

Funkodrom
07-01-2005, 09:28:24
Happily ever after? :lol:

Lazarus and the Gimp
07-01-2005, 17:29:03
Saw "Spun" last night, and it kicked arse. Mickey Rourke's best film in about 20 years.

sleeping_satsuma
07-01-2005, 22:04:32
Re Secretary- I havent seen it but really want to.
James Spader rocks
He always plays complete twats so I reckon he must be the most lovely guy irl

Darkstar
07-01-2005, 22:47:07
AHA! Venom admits the truth! When you PWN someone, you don't ever RESPOND.

You've been 54rv4d!!!!1111!!!

Debaser
07-01-2005, 23:22:15
Originally posted by Lazarus and the Gimp
Saw "Spun" last night, and it kicked arse. Mickey Rourke's best film in about 20 years.

That is a fucking excellent film. It would be worth renting just to hear David Pajo's excellent cover of Iron Maiden's Number Of The Beast, but whole film is really really good too. It's one of the few films I rented, then ordered from Amazon immediately after watching it.

jsorense
08-01-2005, 20:09:35
After years of curiosity I finally watched "The Last Wave" (1977) Peter Weir's second feature lenght film after the success of " Picnic at Hanging Rock". The film is 80% wonderfull but the ending is too confused to make an impact, imho.

Lazarus and the Gimp
08-01-2005, 20:13:59
I was about 12 when I saw that, and I thought the ending was chilling.

jsorense
08-01-2005, 20:27:01
Ah. but knowing something of anthropology it made no sense at all. However I totally understant why it didn't and shouldn't touch on anything real.
There is a short interview of Weir on the DVD which is interesting.

Mr. Bas
11-01-2005, 13:37:56
I watched "Das Experiment" yesterday, it was excellent. It's based on the Stanford prison experiment, although things escalate even further in the movie.

I also finally got to see the last part of Lord of the Rings, it was okayish but not great. Some nice scenes, but it gets rather long-winded, especially in the end.

Lazarus and the Gimp
11-01-2005, 17:08:47
Just bought "Brotherhood of the wolf". It's got martialn arts, monsters, a ninja red Indian, and nearly every little bit of Monica Bellucci. This makes it possibly the greatest film ever made.

fp
11-01-2005, 18:03:32
Indeed. That's a good movie, although I thought it got gradually worse as it went along.

JM^3
11-01-2005, 20:09:41
yeah, it was decent

my freinds kept on expecting it to end earlier

and think that it was too disconnected

JM

BigGameHunter
14-01-2005, 21:06:08
Saw Garden State last night. Very good...with an actor/writer/director credit to a 20 something genius that only further drove me to the edge of absolute "I've wasted my life and am washed up at 34" despair.

Immoral Wombat
14-01-2005, 21:32:26
I think Dashi wins cos his insults were better.:)

sleeping_satsuma
15-01-2005, 15:42:24
Originally posted by BigGameHunter
Saw Garden State last night. Very good...with an actor/writer/director credit to a 20 something genius that only further drove me to the edge of absolute "I've wasted my life and am washed up at 34" despair.

JUST WRITE THE FUCKING BOOK!!! :D

jsorense
16-01-2005, 18:59:07
Saw both "Garden State" and "The Village" last night. One was a lot better than the other.

Debaser
16-01-2005, 20:59:42
I'm currently 23.4% of the way through downloading Garden State. I'm quite looking forward to it.

BigGameHunter
16-01-2005, 23:56:40
It's pretty awesome...I didn't like Natalie Portman much before...now I'm actively stalking her.
Also saw Collateral. Excellent.

The Shaker
17-01-2005, 19:07:31
saw city of god....that's a real good film.

Scabrous Birdseed
17-01-2005, 19:54:45
Originally posted by jsorense
After years of curiosity I finally watched "The Last Wave" (1977) Peter Weir's second feature lenght film after the success of " Picnic at Hanging Rock". The film is 80% wonderfull but the ending is too confused to make an impact, imho.

Man, I've always wanted to see that, ever since I saw "Picnic..." in fact. (Although last weekend's attempted viewing of "Gallipoli" which we never got around to finishing reminded me that this is also the man who directed "Green Card" and "Dead Poets Society". But also, confusingly, conceptual tour-de-force "The Truman Show. Weirdest career ever?)

Anyway, in January I've seen three films at the cinema so far.

Melinda & Melinda, which is so reassuringly and unadventurously Woody Allen (New York set tragedy/comedy with jazz music, neurotic-yet-witty characters and a cast in alphabetical order) that it would be a crap rehash if the man wasn't as great. He's on form, definitely.

Garden State, which I found a bit too ponderous especially the first half. Braff should have had a good go at cutting out fluff, he's an extremely talented scenemaker who hasn't quite grasped the concept of "kill your darlings" yet. Plus the music sucked ass, why do Americans think they're wonderful and smart because they listen to Coldplay? Otherwise it shows a lot of promise, with some unforgettable scenes and shots.

Team America: World Police which was probably my favourite of the lot. But then I like clever, multi-edged satire. And funny soudtracks. And South Park.

Mr. Bas
18-01-2005, 17:37:53
Saw 'Contact' yesterday, and it was fucking awful. Most of the movie is completely boring, lots of bullshit science and caricatural characters. Don't watch it.

zmama
18-01-2005, 17:43:26
I saw it when it came out

Awful awful movie...yuk

Funkodrom
19-01-2005, 09:21:27
Starship Troopers was on tv the other day. I love that film. Absolutely hillarious. :lol:

The Shaker
19-01-2005, 19:12:40
K19 - the widowmaker.
Not entirely awful.


Does liam neeson play any other character than the one he always plays?

Lazarus and the Gimp
19-01-2005, 20:42:46
In fairness, it's a good character- and he puts more effort in than Christopher Walken tends to.

Saw "Hulk" last night. All the character stuff was pretty good, but the actual ol' big greenie was desperately shit. Ang Lee's direction was too clever-clever by far, so I can't help wishing someone line Joe Dante had directed it.

Japher
19-01-2005, 22:53:06
Liam was good in Darkman, and different

Hulk was a disappointment IMO, also because of Ang Lee's direction; which was nice, but to artsy for this movie. Joe Dante or even John Wo could have done better. At least Marvel wisened up with getting Raimi for Spiderman.

On a similar note Tim Story is directing Fantastic Four; who the hell is that?!

Darkstar
24-01-2005, 08:00:41
Saw Catwoman over the weekend. How can anything with Halle Berry in a leather suit turn out that reeking bad? :cry:

fp
24-01-2005, 08:24:21
Because she's ugly?

sleeping_satsuma
24-01-2005, 13:43:37
I saw The Day after Tomorrow (I actually watched the first 20 minutes of Jersey Girl, but was repelled once again by Ben Afflecks bouffant gel 'do and the obviously limp 'forlorn man finds love' type script.

DAT was pretty good in terms of the effects- and it seems more sinister after the recent tsunami, but I had to laugh at the overall cheese factor ie the way Jake Gyllenhaaaaaaal sees a wall of water at about 3 seconds away coming towards him, yet has time to run down the city library steps, collect his girlfriend, get her to look on in horror, then run back in to the library (wading over cars etc) up the steps, and right up the staircase inside the library before he looks round, pauses, and then the windows smash in as he JUST escapes.

Also Dennis Quaid declaring that he must find his son 'I have to do this' to a solemn nod from his wife, then wading across New York State on ice shoes & escaping the coming ice age (which he sees approaching as its frosts everything within spitting distance) like iceman) by jumping down a hole and using only a two man tent and some woolly jumpers for survival.

The convenient mooring of a Russian ship which is easily reached by the people who survive in the library, and which conveniently has a medecine cupboard in the first room they look and which conveniently contains penicillin labelled, conviniently, in ENglish
The inevitable scramble back to the library followed by Jack Frost which they slam the doors on (because thats how ice age conditions work folks)

The wolves. Period.

And my favourite bit of all- The presidents contrite speech about how America is so grateful for the help its third world cousins have meted out after they have evacuted the entire continent in a day and going on about how they shouldnt have abused the worlds resources 'We were wrong *pause for dramatic effect*I was wrong*' Meanwhile he sends a search party of helicopters to NYC to rescue Dennis and Jake and their plucky friends, and lo! survivors abound on top of all the city's skyscrapers! How heartwarming to see the survival of man! Naturally it ends with astronauts looking down on a now peaceful and united earth. (WHich presumably, since the northern hemisphere has been eliminated, would now be run by Mexican gangsters, Muslim fanatics, and perhaps more terrifyingly, Australians)

Ah the world can rest easy!

I actually quite enjoyed it until the Jurassic Park/Independence day with weather ending. I should have learnt by now, the old Hollywod adage-

Hire Dennis Quaid, film shouldn't be made.

:)

Funkodrom
24-01-2005, 13:50:56
No way! Innerspace!

fp
24-01-2005, 13:52:10
I dunno, I quite liked Inner Space.

fp
24-01-2005, 13:52:49
:lol:
x-post!!! (2 minute time difference, I know, but satsuma's post was so long I needed a bathroom break in the interval)

sleeping_satsuma
24-01-2005, 14:06:25
OK, I'll allow Inner Space. That was quite good despite Meg Ryan.

Funkodrom
24-01-2005, 14:07:03
Maybe that's the exception that proves the saying.

sleeping_satsuma
24-01-2005, 14:09:34
or the plum that proves the pudding :hmm:

Funkodrom
24-01-2005, 14:11:11
Did you just make that up?

sleeping_satsuma
24-01-2005, 14:12:43
yes- want to make something of it? huh? huh?

Funkodrom
24-01-2005, 14:15:15
Maybe I'll make a plum pudding.

sleeping_satsuma
24-01-2005, 14:35:12
I set you up for that one :)