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devilmunchkin
18-03-2002, 23:19:52
THis is a poem (title above) that i wrote my senior year, on the cusp of me becoming an atheist. Perhaps my most known work, it was published three separate time (not money though. dammit!)....i hope you like...it's also rather self biographical....

OMinous, Superior Being
Prevent the downward spiral
Halt the spouting enmity
Of all that's pure and Divine
Of love, emotion, and ardor
Hinder the abhorrence for lovers and soul mates who possess the ability
While i brood over an empty plate
Empty of singular light
That bursts into a nova of enchantment
Raining down to sooth the INfernal curse,
Growing a Garden, budding with sumptuous fruits
And innocence
Bestow the rose-colored glasses that were never received
Underneath the holiday pine
AId in constructing an untrodden heart
To supercede the caring soul that flew away like the Dove of Peace
While i lay sleeping, in the reverie of glowing autumn light
Safe in a cocoon that cautiously cracked prematurely
Never suspecting the Battle was Lost.

Sean
18-03-2002, 23:23:36
What’s with all the definite articles?

I don’t like poetry, so my opinion is as useful as a chocolate teapot, but you I think you have too many clumsy words; ‘emnity’ and ‘abhorrence’ are good examples.

In addition, I don’t get it.

devilmunchkin
18-03-2002, 23:35:55
keep in mind this was written 4 years ago. :lol: but alot of the clusiness was purposely added in there to show how i felt about everythign at the time. i was undesirable..at never really had a boyfriend..rejected by anything i touched..except my writing. i was pretty much considered insane...so why not reflect that.

i 'll go line by line

ominous superior being = god.....i'm invoking him..because i'm not sure he exists..crying out..

Prevent the downward spiral = i was sinking..need to be Saved


Halt the spouting enmity
Of all that's pure and Divine
Of love, emotion, and ardor
Hinder the abhorrence for lovers and soul mates who possess the ability
i was hating people....learning to even not believe in GOd....

Empty of singular light
That bursts into a nova of enchantment
Raining down to sooth the INfernal curse,
Growing a Garden, budding with sumptuous fruits
And innocence

what is a metophor for god? light..one light..one god....monotheism. nova..spreading inside me..this is what i want.
INfernal curse..i felt i was cursed..it's also a dual reference to Dante's "inferno"....epic poem about hell...first part of a trio about hell, purgatory and heaven.

Garden = eden .....

Bestow the rose-colored glasses that were never received
Underneath the holiday pine

I never had a cutsy vision of life that most kids have...holiday pine = xmas tree...i never got things that other kids got

AId in constructing an untrodden heart
To supercede the caring soul that flew away like the Dove of Peace
While i lay sleeping, in the reverie of glowing autumn light

untrodden heart- by this time, i'd already been shit on my anyone and every one known to man.....i felt shattered and broken.
dove of Peace = my mother..she abandoned me...
autumn....wainging season. = dying..winter is death

Safe in a cocoon that cautiously cracked prematurely
Never suspecting the Battle was Lost.

cocoon = usually kids are protected intheir home till the leave the nest..i was thrust out early due to lack of love..
battle lost...reference to Paradise Lost by John Milton....implying that Satan really won.

Lady_of_Chicken
29-03-2002, 17:28:31
In the mortal womb
I seek death
so that I might breathe.

I draw from the well
yet find Living Water
in the desert.

Unbroken, I remain
single and without harvest,
but in the breaking
I have been fed.

When my arms were fullest
I was most empty;
yet in complete abandonment
I have been found.

walruskkkch
29-03-2002, 17:43:48
The once was a man from Nantucket...

Sorry. Wrong thread. :o

Lady_of_Chicken
29-03-2002, 18:10:20
Could work...

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose life put his head in a bucket
No God had he found
Though his voice did resound
'Til regarding his faith he said......."Eh...what're you gonna do?"

By Homer J. Simpson

Sean
29-03-2002, 18:16:56
:lol:.