PDA

View Full Version : Slag off music everyone else likes


Scabrous Birdseed
30-09-2004, 18:53:52
BlackMambazo, you're welcome to start if you like.

Lazarus and the Gimp
30-09-2004, 19:01:43
Can I repeat my claim that Gram Parsons was a talentless sack of shit?

Scabrous Birdseed
30-09-2004, 19:04:41
Please do. Can you do it colourfully?

BlackMambazo
30-09-2004, 19:10:43
Um... The Wonder Stuff... The Levellers... The Manic Street Preachers..

all bad..but i doubt anyone will really disagree with that...

*End Is Forever*
30-09-2004, 19:12:34
I quite liked Dizzy, even if it was a cover.

protein
30-09-2004, 19:14:29
I hate Goldie Lookin Chain. The music is absolutely fucking awful, the vocals are dreadful, the lyrics aren't funny and they look like a bunch of rich students fancy-dressed as pikeys. If Goldie Lookin Chain was a TV series it would be Last of the Summer Wine. If it was a food product it would be boiled potatoes with dog's vomit sauce.

They are utter, utter fucking bollocks. People who say they like them are only pretending so they can say various "amusing" catchphrases to each other in unpleasant crap Welsh accents. "Guns don't kill people..." is the new "Whassaaaap?!! True!" The same people who go around drunkenly slurring "I've got your number!" at closing time are now the biggest Goldie Lookin Chain fans.

I wish them a thoroughly unpleasant death and if not I hope they get dropped soon so they can get back to their agricultural degrees and start living off their rich mummys and daddys again.

Is that slagging enough?

Scabrous Birdseed
30-09-2004, 19:30:48
Joss Stone. What the fuck? She's basically a younger Anastatia. Oh wow, a producer who can put a wah-wah guitar into the usual eurodisco bollocks.

Asher
30-09-2004, 19:42:05
Can you do it colourfully next time, Scabby?

Provost Harrison
30-09-2004, 19:50:56
I think I made my feelings on Maroon 5 quite clear in the other thread...

Scabrous Birdseed
30-09-2004, 19:53:19
Why?

Scabrous Birdseed
30-09-2004, 19:54:45
I'm watching TV. Don't expect me to type coherently.

Scabrous Birdseed
30-09-2004, 19:59:37
There was an ad for her album. I thought of this thread.

Asher
30-09-2004, 20:00:02
Originally posted by Provost Harrison
I think I made my feelings on Maroon 5 quite clear in the other thread...
Everyone likes Maroon 5?

I thought I was the only one here that did.

Provost Harrison
30-09-2004, 20:07:12
Very true ;)

BlackMambazo
30-09-2004, 22:25:06
BLUR!!!

How can anyone respect a lead singer that, during the shouty bits in songs, sounds like he is fucking pleading not to be beaten up by the school bully, with tears in his eyes?

Provost Harrison
30-09-2004, 22:25:32
Bleugh? ;)

Asher
30-09-2004, 23:04:26
No one likes blur outside of the UK.

Provost Harrison
30-09-2004, 23:20:14
I used to like some of their stuff but I don't really reckon much to them now...I thought they had a relatively large following in North America?

Asher
01-10-2004, 00:52:17
The ONLY song people here know about is Song 2.

That's the only thing resembling a hit they've ever had.

King_Ghidra
01-10-2004, 08:44:38
Originally posted by protein
I hate Goldie Lookin Chain. The music is absolutely fucking awful, the vocals are dreadful, the lyrics aren't funny and they look like a bunch of rich students fancy-dressed as pikeys. If Goldie Lookin Chain was a TV series it would be Last of the Summer Wine. If it was a food product it would be boiled potatoes with dog's vomit sauce.

They are utter, utter fucking bollocks. People who say they like them are only pretending so they can say various "amusing" catchphrases to each other in unpleasant crap Welsh accents. "Guns don't kill people..." is the new "Whassaaaap?!! True!" The same people who go around drunkenly slurring "I've got your number!" at closing time are now the biggest Goldie Lookin Chain fans.

I wish them a thoroughly unpleasant death and if not I hope they get dropped soon so they can get back to their agricultural degrees and start living off their rich mummys and daddys again.

Is that slagging enough?

yep i'm with you all the way on this one

i have very little time for 'comedy bands' period.

King_Ghidra
01-10-2004, 08:55:46
but i should also decalre i like both blur and the manic street preachers, for what it's worth

in fact holy bible and generation terrorists are two of my favourite albums

Scabrous Birdseed
01-10-2004, 10:56:36
Blur are fucking awful. I read a review of a swedish band (The Plan) in Sweden's biggest broadsheet this week where the reviewer seriously made the following two claims:

(a) Music has become a lot worse since everyone stopped being ironic.

(b) The thing that matters with music is not the music itself but the ideas of the band. The Plan are bad because they're focused on the music.

That entirely antimusical viewpoint is pretty much the thing which made Blur thrive, back in the ironic nineties. It's not music, it's a statement of how blasť and cool they are.

protein
01-10-2004, 11:39:21
I used to have a soft spot for the levellers. I guess we all have phases.

Mr. Bas
01-10-2004, 11:59:52
I still like the manics, the stuff up to the holy bible anyway. Nicky Wire is a pretentious twat though.

Provost Harrison
01-10-2004, 12:21:54
I think The Levellers are alright too...but I guess this isn't the point of the thread...

Mr. Bas
01-10-2004, 12:40:20
True, true. I'm thinking of a band everyone likes to slag off, but I'm not really inspired today.

Provost Harrison
01-10-2004, 12:50:03
Radiohead are a band that are popular that a lot of people here hate. I think some of their stuff is good (Bends or some other tracks)...but in recent history they have been utter gobshite.

Lazarus and the Gimp
01-10-2004, 16:09:30
"Tonight's the night" by Neil Young.

In the 1970's, alienated by his profound disillusionment with the music industry and devastated by the loss of friends to drugs, Neil Young recorded a low-key yet searing album that veered from the disgusted to the terrified and stands up to the very best albums recorded in that decade- certainly his best album. That album is, of course, "On the beach".

"Tonight's the night", on the other hand and despite what many music critics would have you believe, is the sound of an artist too drunk to apply any sort of self-editing process. It's the sound of a bladdered piss-artist croaking and slurring through a set of B-sides, then slinging them out as a presumed work of genius in the sort of bizarrely perverse "art" gesture that Young's notorious for. The title track is decent. Every other track is completely fucking awful.

Provost Harrison
01-10-2004, 16:20:32
Inform us of your views on REM laz ;)

Lazarus and the Gimp
01-10-2004, 16:24:54
They released a really good song once. That would be something to be proud of, if it were not for the fact that one good song is a poor return on at least a dozen albums of look-at-me-clever-clever-raging-bollocks-drivel.

zmama
01-10-2004, 16:32:27
Oh, you mean like Queen!

protein
01-10-2004, 16:56:57
Oh god I hate Queen too. They are to blame for starting the whole girlish pompous psuedo-classical heavy rock music that offends my ears so much.

zmama
01-10-2004, 17:00:53
Give that man another rootbeer!

Provost Harrison
01-10-2004, 17:07:03
QUEEN! To me this is like a red rag to a bull.

They are so highly vaunted with the operatic commercial rock and I always thought they were dreadful - I just can't stand them. And don't mention Bohemian Rhapsody - how this was ever voted as this country's favourite song escapes me, I just find it immensely irritating. Why oh why oh why does the record buying public allow travesties like this to perpetuate out of control? Freddie Mercury, Anita Dobson and other bloke should never have been allowed to embark on this "musical" mockery.

Lazarus and the Gimp
01-10-2004, 17:16:23
On the other hand, the use of "Don't stop me now" in "Shaun of the Dead" is hilarious.

*End Is Forever*
01-10-2004, 17:16:28
I'm afraid the award for "most pretentious pile of crap" goes to Muse. Now, I don't disagree that Matt Bellamy is a superb guitarist and capable of shredding his vocal chords - in fact, that makes the pretentious, self-indulgent tripe they turn out all the more disappointing.

zmama
01-10-2004, 17:16:43
No no no no no

You're supposed to like them! Otherwise whats the point of me hating them? ;)

protein
01-10-2004, 17:29:29
Muse are what happens if cross Thom York with Yngwie Malmsteen.

Debaser
01-10-2004, 18:36:23
Nobody will know what I'm talking about, but there's a band called Bidgie Reef & the Gas who play around Reading quite a bit. They're pretty popular and well known locally, but I just can't stand to them. Longest I've ever lasted before having to leave the venue has been two and a half songs. Kate Winslet's dad is their singer. He's a wanker.

Provost Harrison
01-10-2004, 18:40:36
I must admit I have never heard of them...what kind of stuff do they do?

protein
01-10-2004, 18:40:36
:lol:

Debaser
01-10-2004, 18:45:14
Originally posted by Provost Harrison
I must admit I have never heard of them...what kind of stuff do they do?

They seem to think they are "art-punk", but they sound to me like a sub-Jamiroquai jazz/funk group with a wanky old man trying to be a bit zany over the top. Truely awful. The keyboard player has a shit jazzy beard too.

Lazarus and the Gimp
01-10-2004, 19:14:54
Great heckling potential, however.

"Hey! I've seen your daughter's minge in more than one film. Have you?"

BlackMambazo
02-10-2004, 08:28:31
Bigie Reef And The Gas...

This is how they describe their own song on their website...

"A hollow emotionless vocal begins a sermon to the self. Music interferes with your thoughts and the journey begins.Growing, urgent, searching strings wash your brain while the bass engine insists on probing through. The mind breaks down, and reassembles itself with a Lynchian feel, travelling on this wave of paranoia with increasing rhythmic drum and bass infusion.
e anger takes over and Spiritualized noise levels are reached. The guitar and bass dissolve, and a latin section ensues. Imagine The Queen Is Dead-era Smiths playing Weather Report and youre halfway there. Screaming guitars kick the final chorus into your brain, hammered in by the predatory piano before a reflective close"

I think everybody can agree these people MUST be tossers...

Provost Harrison
03-10-2004, 10:33:40
Motherfuckers!

Stefu X
03-10-2004, 12:16:04
"Hey! I've seen your daughter's minge in more than one film. Have you?"

Do the Brits have a committee or something where they weekly come up with new stupid slang terms for erogenous zones? I've been considering this theory since I saw PH referring to breasts as 'norks' and this just goes further to prove it.

zmama
03-10-2004, 12:19:03
Norks is Ozzie slang.

Oh and Pink Floyd sucks

Provost Harrison
03-10-2004, 16:34:04
You'll find minge is a very well established term for a mimsy ;)

Lazarus and the Gimp
03-10-2004, 18:12:23
We are blessed with a multitude of euphemisms for the tuppence.

Lazarus and the Gimp
03-10-2004, 18:15:23
I have a theory that it's an eccentricity of the British mindset. My theory is that you could, off the cuff, spontaneously invent a new slang expression for female genitalia- and every Brit present will instinctively understand what you're getting at.

Bear that in mind next time you encounter a velveteen oven-glove.

Provost Harrison
03-10-2004, 19:27:13
Stefu, I recommend you refer to the great reference work Roger's Profanisaurus for many examples of the vast vocabulary of the English language :D

Debaser
03-10-2004, 19:36:05
My current favourite term for a ladies snatch is twinkle.

Lazarus and the Gimp
03-10-2004, 20:42:36
That's a good one. I'd never heard that before.

Funkodrom
04-10-2004, 08:47:44
Sounds like a pet name Dirty Den would give his daughters.

This is a good thread though.

The Coral

Apparently these clowns aren't actually refugees from some inner city Liverpool farm although I'm not sure I believe that. Why else would they dress up as farmers and play a mixture of the horrible folk music I've only previously heard on a Thursday night at the Retreat (oh god did our heart sink when we accidently went there on a Thursday) and sea shanties. They are even more annoying than the fucking Levellers, and I never thought that would be possible in a band.

The Music

If you are going to be arrogant enough to call yourselves The Music you'd better be absolutely amazing. Needless to say they are in fact turgid recycled indy toss.

Debaser
04-10-2004, 10:32:19
The Happy Mondays

Sorry, but the crack addled rantings of a fuckhead minor criminal are far from the stuff of genius that everyone makes them out to be. They don't even have one song that I think is ok. The best thing about Shaun Ryder is his uncanny resembalence to Darth Vader when Luke removes his helmet at the end of Return of the Jedi.

Funkodrom
04-10-2004, 10:34:02
I think I made a mistake with my choices... I forgot this was a thread to slag off bands people actually like.

protein
04-10-2004, 11:06:38
That's okay, I quite like The Coral, your entry still counts. :)

Scabrous Birdseed
04-10-2004, 11:11:06
New Order

I detest Joy Division. They're turgid, pretentious, their melodies are dull as hell, they've got the energy of sloths on valium. Nevertheless, considering what followed, I think Ian wossname offing himself was a great loss to music.

Synthesisers are brilliant instruments and in the hands of just about anyone except a bunch of flaccid sub-disco manchester turds they are definately a positive thing for the music itself. Their strength lies in their brutality, their minimalist spacing, the harsh basslines and driving rhythms. Which is why New Order decided that the best thing to do would be to make music with no edges whatsoever. The merest of weak melodies are smothered in a diarrhoea of a million piddly non-sounds, thin as hell but ultimately cloying.

Where Kraftwerk was funk (as demonstrated by the near-identical sounds of Afrika Bambaata et al), New Order was desexed twice, first through disco's sapping of all testosterone and then through their own brand of monotonously castrating even the still-twitching remains.

No wonder they're liked by Indie people.

Debaser
04-10-2004, 11:15:10
:lol:

Funkodrom
04-10-2004, 11:25:26
The Sex Pistols

If my previous entries are only barely allowed in this thread due to the "people like" criteria then the Sex Pistols are barely allowed in due to the "music" criteria. Ok, they may have appealed to the kids at the time because they looked rebellious and had spikey hair. There's nothing wrong with having your whole appeal based around swearing and cheap innuendoes but I see no reason why anyone would actually ever want to listen to their music now. They had their affect on the music industry and society but their 'music' is a total load of unlistenable shit. If they played at a local band night people would say "This is the worst band I've ever seen, but they look good." Fine, and of course image is related to musical success but that's all they had. At the end of the day they were a bunch of childish ignorant pikey thugs who couldn't play any music but had an absolutely amazing manager and stylist.

What's amazing to me is that so many people who detest bands like Green Day or whatever love the Sex Pistols who were, musically at least, far shitter on every level.

protein
04-10-2004, 11:29:49
That's bollocks. Greenday are watered down american nice teenybopper pap. The Sex Pistols had masses and masses of rock energy. They could infact all play their instruments really well until they hired Sid.

Funkodrom
04-10-2004, 11:31:54
This isn't the argue about music thread, it's the slag off music other people like thread.

protein
04-10-2004, 11:37:37
Oh. Well I can't be bothered to justify all the pompous metal I hate because you've heard it all before.

Scabrous Birdseed
04-10-2004, 11:37:50
Ah but you've offended someone enough to generate response. Time for a polyesque 500-post spinoff.

Funkodrom
04-10-2004, 11:40:38
Originally posted by Scabrous Birdseed
Ah but you've offended someone enough to generate response. Time for a polyesque 500-post spinoff.

That was the point wasn't it? :D

And there's probably very little I would disagree with protein about pompous metal.

protein
04-10-2004, 11:42:58
I know. Alot of the things that I will say I hate about it you will say you love about it. It would be like discussing gammon steak with pineapple. You either like it or you don't.

Funkodrom
04-10-2004, 11:46:35
No. I meant, I would probably agree with most of your points. Probably the only difference is that I find it really amusing - and have some good childhood metal memories - and you don't. Musically I don't really like it at all.

Mr. Bas
04-10-2004, 15:26:38
Opeth

This is probably the wrong forum to post in, since I'm not sure if any of you guys actually listens to Opeth. They're worshipped by many metalheads though.

There are two things I must admit about Opeth: they're damn good at playing their instruments, and lyrically they're not nearly as bad as the average metal band. That does not necessarily lead to good music, however. Opeth play something that would be best described as prog-black metal, I suppose, which in itself is not necessarily a bad thing (look at Tool and Neurosis for example). Their songs are rather complex instrumentally as any Opeth fan will not fail to emphasize, but the only purpose of that seems to be to show off their instrumental skills. It's completely devoid of any real emotion or energy whatsoever, and after listening to 'Still Life' for too many times, I still can't imagine why anyone would only listen to that kind of pompous shit, let alone consider them the best band in the fucking world.

Funkodrom
04-10-2004, 15:32:20
Sounds like Nills would like them.

King_Ghidra
04-10-2004, 16:19:03
the only bands i hate that other people like are the ones that everyone else here would also hate, e.g. westlife, etc.

most of the bands people have put in this thread that they hate i like

but then it's all the hating that makes this such an unpleasant forum to read at times

Lazarus and the Gimp
04-10-2004, 16:43:45
Yeah! Great, isn't it?

Rodgers
27-10-2004, 15:18:42
Originally posted by King_Ghidra
the only bands i hate that other people like are the ones that everyone else here would also hate, e.g. westlife, etc.

most of the bands people have put in this thread that they hate i like

but then it's all the hating that makes this such an unpleasant forum to read at times


If it makes you feel any better I quite like Goldie Lookin Chain, but then I know fuck all about music and I'm never really here much :)

Funkodrom
27-10-2004, 15:21:47
I really like Goldie Lookin' Chain, must get their album.

Resource Consumer
27-10-2004, 15:54:03
OK - and I am sure nobody else likes them (but I am hoping someone does so we can all ridicule him/her)

What about Jamiroquai? Best thing about them is the stupid fucking hat and that is just funny because he looks like he has his head up a buffalo's arse

What about Simply Red? Basically, an ill-spelled euphamism for someone who is illiterate. Musical and cultural value doesn't even get on the scale above a blue-eyed squeaky gatepost.

And then. Top this - UB fucking 40. The singer looks like he has been hit in the face by the weekly takings of an overworked fruit machine. Worse than that he sings like he has been hit in the nuts with it too.

Debaser
27-10-2004, 16:00:04
My favourite Simply Red story is when Mick Hucknell was going out with Martine McCutcheon he had to shave of his beloved dreads because after a boozy night out she puked all over them.

Hahahahahaha etc

Resource Consumer
27-10-2004, 16:01:44
:D :lol: The wanker should not have been so vain as to play her his own music (or was she listening to her own?)

Kitsuki
18-11-2004, 13:16:22
ORBITAL

Turgid, turgid shite.... Saw them at Glastonbury this year and they are just tragic... Sure someone here probably likes them for some misguided reason. The only worse act is

Morrissey

Dont know where to start, but have been subjected to him live *twice* and both times he couldnt have fancied himself more on stage. Its old, redone music and the man should be put in a retirement home. Never really like The Smiths (except "This Charming Man"

Funkodrom
18-11-2004, 14:44:44
I get the feeling his songs might be good if he got someone who didn't have such an irritating voice to sing them.

protein
18-11-2004, 14:54:55
The Smiths are all about the lyrics. There are about four Smiths songs with good music though.

King_Ghidra
18-11-2004, 14:56:22
I really like morrissey's voice. Hearing him live at Reading gave me a new respect for him.

Funkodrom
18-11-2004, 15:01:13
He was at Reading? :confused: I'd totally forgotten that. :lol:

I actually like some of the music of the smiths, just not the vocals. They totally put me off. I think it's a problem most vocalists with really distinctive voices have, some people will hate it. Not saying he isn't a good singer, I just find that sound intensely annoying.

Kitsuki
18-11-2004, 15:01:14
Hes so up his own arse though - think that annoys me so much I probably dont give it an entirely fair hearing....

Funkodrom
18-11-2004, 15:02:29
There's that too.

Kitsuki
18-11-2004, 15:08:21
Before his Glastonbury gig he read out about three minutes of things he didn't lile slowly, "War, poverty, the Tories, unemployment" etc etc.


One of the last ones was "self-indulgence." Fuckwit.

Funkodrom
18-11-2004, 15:12:32
:lol:

That's actually quite funny, I think he might have meant that as a joke.

Beta1
18-11-2004, 21:47:14
I almost never read this forum but just have say

Best. Thread. EVER!

Been laughing mo much my girlfriend stopped working and came to find out what was so funny!

Mr. Bas
06-12-2004, 16:46:06
I was just browsing through the Guardian, and they have been doing the exact same thing. It's a pretty enjoyable read, and you're bound to see someone you like slagged off.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/arts/features/story/0,11710,1365982,00.html

Lazarus and the Gimp
06-12-2004, 17:10:25
They're right about "Pet Sounds", and having just heard "Smile" I can confirm that the "lost masterpiece" is even worse. I've never encountered such a glaring example of ambition outstripping ability.

"Teenage symphony to God" my arse.

Funkodrom
06-12-2004, 17:38:27
They're right about all of them. When reading the article I had to acknowledge that if they were right about the ones I agreed with (like the Strokes) they were probably right about the ones I didn't too.

Eklektikos
06-12-2004, 18:10:15
Waits is a cool actor, who makes "dramatic" music - but if you value anything remotely like authenticity, or involvement with the music you listen to, then this is just clanking nonsense about dwarves.
I think Tom Waits is great, but I still can't find a convincing argument to counter that. :lol:

Funkodrom
07-12-2004, 09:20:59
Yeah, that's what I was trying to say.

*End Is Forever*
07-12-2004, 11:47:07
Nirvana
Why did Kurt Cobain whine and grimace like a man with crippling haemorrhoids? Maybe it was because he was a genius who channelled the existential despair of an entire generation through his poetic songwriting. Maybe he did have haemorrhoids. Or maybe it was because he was embarrassed. Embarrassed by the fact that Generation X had mistaken his navel-gazing lyrics and tuneless, guitar-thrashing noises for something more meaningful. Embarrassed by his crappy old jumper and lifeless, can't-do-a-thing-with-it hair. Embarrassed by the knowledge that, yes, he was in the defining band of the early 90s; but that the early 90s was the most rubbish era in pop history. Who were the competition? Ned's Atomic Dustbin? Sven Vath? Soho? He must have felt like Daley Thompson winning We Are The Champions. Nirvana was heavy metal by the back door, heavy metal without the consolation of Spandex and hairspray. Kurt knew it and he was so embarrassed he blew his own brains out. I didn't blame him.
SD

Yes, yes, yes!

Funkodrom
07-12-2004, 11:58:20
"Embarrassed by the knowledge that, yes, he was in the defining band of the early 90s"
"Nirvana was heavy metal by the back door,"

It's actually complimentary. ;)

Eklektikos
07-12-2004, 12:05:38
Originally posted by Funkodrom

"Nirvana was heavy metal by the back door"
:brwncard:

King_Ghidra
08-12-2004, 13:20:43
i wholeheartedly disagree with just about everything written in that guardian article but it is very amusingly written

funny how much more interesting people are when they're saying nasty things - it's like tolstoy's 'all happy families are the same' principle

Funkodrom
08-12-2004, 13:24:17
You obviously believe the hype. :D

I'm surprised The Strokes made it into such exhaulted company though.

Debaser
08-12-2004, 13:26:05
Charlie Brooker is the guy who used to run www.TVgohome.com. He's a very funny guy. His column is the best thing about the Guardian's The Guide section.

Funkodrom
08-12-2004, 13:41:17
Ah right, he did the Rolling Stones one, that was probably the one I enjoyed most. :D

Nills Lagerbaak
08-12-2004, 13:51:58
ha ha! I couldn't agree more with that article.

Funkodrom
08-12-2004, 13:56:33
Yes, having read it again their criticisms of even the 4 artists on the list I really like are pretty fair.

Lazarus and the Gimp
08-12-2004, 17:29:51
Originally posted by Debaser
Charlie Brooker is the guy who used to run www.TVgohome.com. He's a very funny guy. His column is the best thing about the Guardian's The Guide section.

He used to write for PC Zone. One time on their forum, someone wrote a huge diatribe about how he had "undermined his integrity as a journalist" by some tedious old bollocks or other.

Brooker simply replied "You am big bum pooh". I like the concise approach.