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Funkodrom
14-09-2004, 14:57:15
I've just discovered the joys of Dr. David Thorpe on Something Awful (thanks to Stefu)

Genius!

http://www.somethingawful.com/yourbandsucks/

Worth starting with his most recent one criticizing modern rock bands:

http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=2371


(Note: I don't always agree with him but he is very entertaining)

Funkodrom
14-09-2004, 14:58:51
Oh and the one on Indie's sacred cows was really funny too.

(Gramercy Riffs shouldn't read this one...)

http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=1880

Scabrous Birdseed
14-09-2004, 15:15:12
He's very mildly entertaining. I prefer my language a bit more colourful, he's too academic for my liking.

Funkodrom
14-09-2004, 15:19:59
Well he is a NASA scientist!

As always the reader letters are the best:

From: thestrokes1fan@hotmail.com
Subject: something awful

YOUR FUCKING AWFUL!!!! The strokes failed to save rock? you reject ass retard, the strokes did fucking save rock!!! i have TWO strokes tattoos, the strokes are the greatest thing to happen to music since the beatles... YOUR GONNA FAIL, AT TALKING YOUR WAY OUT OF THIS FUCKING ASS BEATING IM GONNA GIVE YOU!! YOU NO DICK PUSSY LOSER!

Jesus, Id better hire some personal security. Never underestimate the wrath of a man with two Strokes tattoos. One Strokes tattoo is enough to show that you are pretty keen on the Strokes, but TWO? That can only mean one thing: bad motherfucker.

Asher
16-09-2004, 23:18:20
Originally posted by Scabrous Birdseed
He's very mildly entertaining. I prefer my language a bit more colourful, he's too academic for my liking.
You've got to be kidding me. He's a far better writer than 99% of the "music critics" out there, yourself included.

I enjoy reading his work, for one...

*End Is Forever*
16-09-2004, 23:30:56
He was spot-on about Muse. :D

King_Ghidra
16-09-2004, 23:37:45
sorry this guy isn't funny at all, and whatever asher's definition of a good writer is is clearly grossly deviated from mine.

but then asher writes "music critics" like that for some reason so it's hard to take him seriously

Asher
16-09-2004, 23:58:29
I write "music critics" in quotes, because they're nothing more than idiots who lack any real musical talent of their own, and hold their judgement to be superior to everyone else's.

Someone who truly appreciates music knows the only "good" or "bad" is relative to the person listening to it.

And I'm sorry that you don't find this guy funny, but that's your problem, and not mine.

Funkodrom
17-09-2004, 09:26:42
He's more a band insulter than a music critic but I enjoyed it. :)

Scabrous Birdseed
17-09-2004, 11:08:38
He's just a very dull writer, that's all. His opinions aren't bad but they could be written infinately more consisely, wittily, intrestingly.

Asher
17-09-2004, 12:57:30
Originally posted by Scabrous Birdseed
He's just a very dull writer, that's all. His opinions aren't bad but they could be written infinately more consisely, wittily, intrestingly.
Nonsense. The crap you write, and most music critics write, makes me gag. The ability to use a thesaurus doesn't make it more interesting. The opposite, in fact...

Asher
17-09-2004, 12:58:03
Originally posted by Funkodrom
He's more a band insulter than a music critic but I enjoyed it. :)
AFAIK, band insulter and music critic are synonymous. They're critics, after all...

Scabrous Birdseed
17-09-2004, 16:24:16
I read to be entertained and informed. This writer fails to do either beyond the mild.

Lazarus and the Gimp
17-09-2004, 16:36:14
Does he make a living out of that? That's the job for me!

Scabrous Birdseed
17-09-2004, 17:03:20
And you'd be so much better at it.

Now, Asher, Laz, he's a good writer.

Asher
17-09-2004, 17:27:09
Originally posted by Scabrous Birdseed
And you'd be so much better at it.

Now, Asher, Laz, he's a good writer.
That last sentence is awesome.

It really shows how well you can judge "good writing". :b:

protein
17-09-2004, 17:32:27
If he doesn't like music then he shouldn't listen to it. I don't have a football and hunting blog. It just seems like a pointless waste of time.

Scabrous Birdseed
17-09-2004, 17:57:24
You know, Asher, unlike yourself most people put an effort into writing stuff they consider to be worthy of putting an effort into. We don't just ramble on as we would in normal posts... You know, putting "thought" behind our writing and all.

Asher
17-09-2004, 19:22:58
Originally posted by Scabrous Birdseed
You know, Asher, unlike yourself most people put an effort into writing stuff they consider to be worthy of putting an effort into. We don't just ramble on as we would in normal posts... You know, putting "thought" behind our writing and all.
You put too much "thought" behind your writing.

I prefer writing that comes off as natural. Something free-flowing and informal.

I cannot stand writers who claim to put "thought" into their writing, when all they do is make ridiculous metaphors and similies and couple them with the ability to use a thesaurus.

They come across as artsy f*cks without a true talent.

Scabrous Birdseed
17-09-2004, 20:21:04
Thought is required for all effective communication, whether it involves just switching sentences around or rephrasing subclauses, or whether it involves large-scale concious deicisions on style and angle. Try to write up a news story, a music review or a piece of fiction without thinking and it'll turn out wank no matter how "natural" it flows.

It's paramount to a good review that the reviewer's opinion gets accross plainly and without too much waffle. This man is mediocre in both aspects because he can't write consisely or chose his words well. Metaphors, though I totally enjoy them if they're done in a fun way, have nothing to do with it.

Lazarus and the Gimp
17-09-2004, 20:55:37
Plus the fact that he's not dirty enough. It's stranded between serious and scabrous.

Scabrous Birdseed
17-09-2004, 21:02:52
Watch out Laz, any emotional or instinctive content in the review is seen by dear Asher as "artsy". Presumably that includes anything vaguely gonzo.

Asher
18-09-2004, 01:58:40
Originally posted by Scabrous Birdseed
Thought is required for all effective communication, whether it involves just switching sentences around or rephrasing subclauses, or whether it involves large-scale concious deicisions on style and angle. Try to write up a news story, a music review or a piece of fiction without thinking and it'll turn out wank no matter how "natural" it flows.
Too much thought, I said, not no thought.