View Full Version : um, Poetry?

21-03-2004, 03:52:43
Weirdoes in the night.
We like to
With little children.
To stroke their
Is far beyond
Your reach.
To watch their eyes
Light up
The flame
Ensues their pleasure.
We know
You like it
You can not
Deny it
You crave us
Wandering hands
Comforting words
The feeling
We give you.
You feel the need
For your pulse to speed
Your breath
Gets heavy
You start to
With heady pleasure
You want
To cry, but
Holds you back.
The right
Begin to
The parents
Are taking
The thrill dies
And turns to
Youíre hurtingĒ
Is what you
Cry out.
We know
You donít
Mean it.
We carry
Our dream.
Itís best
In the long run.
Itíll be alright
Calm down
We donít want
Itís for
Your own

How can i tame this tourtured soul
rescue it from depths unknown
fill it with love and joys untold
but is it deserved?
will it be wasted
how can we tell what is for show
maybe it is destined to be do
what will become
of that poor wretched girl

All hope is lost
It can not be revived
the life goes on
in search of an answer
but such can not be foound
"it is to be so"
they tell themselves
it is to be so...

what are we
mere pawns
part of a greater scheme
living in endless pain and suffering
never knowing real happiness
it is a quest many embark
but how many fulfil their task

I stare into the candle light
it flickers in the breeze
lighiting up the world
blinding me from natural beauty
it dances and it quivers
blowing strong and free
but is it good
it destroys
it burns
it brings light

Why do we put ourselves in times of trouble and strife
such torture and unpleasantness
it's self created
and could be avoided
but still we carry on
if we stopped to think,
consider our actions,
things could be different
but they're not.
Fighting and hostility everywhere
bringing sandess and injury
to the soul and the hear
such things are more than skin deep
look beyond those harsh facades
into those eyes
and see the truth

As I stare at the plains before me,
I contemplate how wonderful they would look
decked in red.
A streak here,
a dash there,
it would brighten things up no end.
They burst into life like fireworks,
explosions of colour on this pale land.
Joy, oh joyous relief.
If only it were so easy.
If it could only come together
Like it does in my dreams.
But, alas,
Dreams are only dreams.
They can not come true.
That is what ruins them
For one moment
You are blissfully unaware of everything
Nothing else exists
You are all.
They are naught.
All that is
Is in your mind.

It'd be all too easy to blame it on him.
his return into my life
to wreck it all over again
but no
i have to take responsibility
for my petty actions
reaping havoc with other peoples emotions
i can not help the way i am
despite your protests
it's not that easy to change how you are
the way you act day in day out
no means of escape
no making it to the next level
this is the only chance you get
and you're well on your way to destroying it all
after this
thats it
it's an end of sorts
but there is no more after that
no pain or suffering
no more of this life
it'll be bliss up there
no harm to be done
i wish i was there

self biased
24-03-2004, 04:24:43
"an ode to counterglow?"

26-03-2004, 03:57:24
I walk into the room
feel their eyes burning into me
boring into my skull
prickling at my skin

Questions are thrown at me
every way I turn
Who are you
What are you doing here
Why are you here
What do oyu want
Reverberating in the space around me

I donít know
I donít know
I donít know

I long to tell them
of my plight

make them listen
prepare to fight

but I canít speak out
somethingsí holding me back

I can not speak
If I know not of the answer

The questions continue
itís beggining to hurt
Iím loking around
but thereís no one there.

No one to run to
nowhere to hide

Still they continue
searching my soul
feeding on my fear

I wish I could fight
but how can you conquer
what you can not see

Itís all in my head
Itís all in my head.

You canít let out
whats already in...

this one isn't so me
Their words are ever haunting
hurting me so
from the inside out

Do they realise the pain they cause
the damage they are liable to wreck
bringing doom to all they encounter

My army will soon be upon yo
pwning you so bad

your ass will be more ripped than goatseís
eating more shit than tub girl
and crying more than dellis

All day I will teach you
show you the error of your ways
night will be sweet release
if only we didnít reign your dreams

26-03-2004, 19:41:35
Well. I am no poetry critic but this is good stuff. Especially the first one.

26-03-2004, 21:27:05
thanks, everythings appriciated

Qaj the Fuzzy Love Worm
28-03-2004, 02:15:23
Kinda creepy and uncomfortable, those first ones. So I guess, as poerty, it's a success since it makes you feel something, rather than most poetry I read/hear which is just boring nonsense. So I give it three thumbs up.

28-03-2004, 03:14:03
when i wrote them i didn't mean for them to be uncomfortable or creepy, and it took me a while to see how people were getting freaked out by the first one, but thanks Qaj

Qaj the Fuzzy Love Worm
28-03-2004, 03:21:48
How did you mean them to come across, or see them as coming across originally? I mean, they're fairly dark subject matter, there's pain and despair etc. It's not happy poetry (though I'm not saying poetry should be) - would have guessed it was obvious :confused:

Detailed critic I am not, that would be LoC's forte. And I usually can't stand poetry either. But this is pretty good. Keep it up.

28-03-2004, 03:43:11
I never mean for any of them to come across in a particular way, but I can be quite naive when it comes to my own work.

and thanks for the encouragement, you have now subjected yourself to my teen angst :p

Qaj the Fuzzy Love Worm
28-03-2004, 03:45:09
Crap, as if my own teen angst wasn't enough when I went through it.

28-03-2004, 03:50:19

16-04-2004, 23:26:24
It happens over and over
You can't seem to break the cycle
Everyone knows the drill
Obeys without question
Just to make your life
A torrent of emotion
Surging through your veins
Giving you strength where others fail
You've been here before
They'll never get you
Further down they strive to push
But you rise to the surface
Defying their authority
You see the look on their faces
Contorted in frustration
These moments are what you live for
It's how you live.
One day
It'll all change
No more will they control you

16-04-2004, 23:56:13
Youre' all clueless
None of you know what really goes on
What happens inside
Everything that goes on
Everything I feel
Everything I do
Everything I'm critised for
Everything I'm not praised for
Everything I'm made to feel
Everything I'm made to do
Imprisoned in this life
Escaping is no option
You're being punished
For all of your misdoings
So many have there been
It will never end