View Full Version : Great game reviews of our time (culled from Amazon)

17-03-2004, 22:50:22

mike, wallington,england, January 7, 2004
THE BEST GBA GAME EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Beyblade Vforce ultimate blader jam is amazing it's just amazing.I must warn u though u will find it really really ard if u r rubbish at gba.But if u r good then u will really enjoy it but still find it ard. The blades are really realistic.p.s. Be ready to use up loads of batteries becoz ur gonna be on it for hours.

Beyblade Super Tournament Battle:

Best Game Ever, September 13, 2003
Reviewer: lizzie_bifa from Portugal
This game is the best beyblade game ever. The grafics the gaming, the everything. So you better get your copy NOW!
Its 10x better than those toy ones all the little kiddies play with its better than gameboy advance its the best one ever!


Reviewer: squigglemunch from Reading, UK
Its good. There. I've said it. In fact, it's better than good. Excellent or perfect, your choice. It has a greatly detailed scenerey choice of levels, and its gameplay is superb. My good reasons for it are:

*I liked burning orcs with oil

*Its better than the second one

*It does have footage from the game

*A lot of time and effort was put into this, and the outcome was what's important

Then again, it did have downfalls:

*Just like the second game, it isn't properly incorperated with the game. At the Black Gate you probably think "BIG BATTLE!! MWA HA HA!!" But then, the level really turns out to be crap.(Fighting on a hilltop, my God!)

*Again, it does have a sense of hack, hack, die start again. SNORESVILLE

*AI system is (in some places) pretty poor

All in all, it is a brilliant game, and gives you an atmosphere to how it would have been like to be in that situation. It's worth your money, so you shouldn't feel as if it was a waste of dosh.


In-game control= 8/10


Graphics(vide wise)=8/10

AI system=6/10


WWE Smackdown: Here comes the Pain

Reviewer: fresh_buba from netherlands
great game so far, but some things arn't in it what I like the most, like

TLC tag matches with 3 teams (like the famouse hardy's VS dudley's VS edge & christian)

TLC I don't know if it hase more then 1 ladder but I would like to see 1 ladder for 1 team (so when there are 2 teams and every team hase a ladder :) )

and the springboard moonsault of Jeff Hardy is gone sinds the 1 game. so why not that you can put different arials on the ladders,
so that you can do a springboard moonsault in the corner and swanton bomb of the ladder see

or if that is gonna be hard make springboard moonsault a grapple move when the opponent is in the corner.

and hehe wisper in the wind(or something like that) I like it as grapple in the corner but can it also be like when brock lesnar throuse jeff in the corner that he does the wisper in the wind as diffens (that every body has differnt diffens)

Pokemon Colosseum:

Dead cook, February 21, 2004
Reviewer: blazikens_inferno from U.S.A.
look, if your loking for a RPG(Role playing game) and battling 3D graphics, this is the best game for you. Man I gotta tell you, this is the BEST, I mean BBBEEESSTTT game ever!! There is two kinds of games. battling, or roleplaying. this is a game that needs an award winnning game ribbon, or somthing!!! I defenatley rate this game 5 stars!! if you could rate it even higher, I'll rate it a millenium stars!! Look, but it or lose it!! but for me, its the best pokemon game ever. My uncle bought the second copy since he works at the company, (it was japanese though ^_^;) I thought it was the best game ever!! You can even SNAG!!! HOW KOOL is THAT!!! Its MY KIND OF GAME!!!!!

18-03-2004, 00:08:05
Well there's three minutes of my life I'll never get back.

Resource Consumer
18-03-2004, 10:24:40
I think Amazon reviews are pretty funny

18-03-2004, 10:33:38
Originally posted by QtFLW@Work
Well there's three minutes of my life I'll never get back.

same feeling

18-03-2004, 10:37:47
yeah well if the thread title wasn't enough of a giveaway to the content then nothing is going to stop you dumbshits wasting your lives

18-03-2004, 10:42:54
you've always posted shit anyway, so you should wear that as a badge of honor

18-03-2004, 15:46:00
Notice how much better the English is in the Portugese review. :D

I suspect squigglemunch is one of our Readingite posters.

18-03-2004, 16:22:26
I wonder if fresh_buba is really Drekkus. :hmm:

18-03-2004, 16:47:32
Which of the Reading posters is squigglemunch?

18-03-2004, 16:52:37
I don't know, but I like his/her scoring mechanism:

In-game control= 8/10


Graphics(vide wise)=8/10

AI system=6/10

Overall score:


18-03-2004, 16:56:44
Yeah, I liked that too.

18-03-2004, 17:31:27
That suggests the suspect was educated in the US before moving to Readin.

23-03-2004, 21:12:49
No. Just a professional game reviewer. ;)

07-08-2006, 15:01:48
This tickled me (from a review of Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney for the DS):

The people who wrote these storylines should get a Nobel Peace Prize for Literature...each!

While this stream of consciousness effort came from a review of Animal Crossing: Wild world:

I've never played the first one. But since I got this I never put it down! Sure I changed the games... but that doesn't mean I hate it! So much to do so much time, and I think there's changes. Well I don't no. Infact I never and can't know! So its great! Does't make use of microphone. But briiiiiiiiiiilliant! You start. What's there... aniamls! 2 Or 3! Then there's the bossy racoon! Lays hands one ya for working. Then lays off. Catching fish, bugs, bugging neibhours, befriender people are all on the agenda! Well you make your own! It is brillaint digging up fossils. I've made friends with a cranky animal! Never linked nor use wi-fi, but might if worth it. Great fun! So I've said it. Big fan ol the 1st one? Or don't know what type of game ye want? If ye like roaming about, well, this is for you!

07-08-2006, 15:28:18
Originally posted by QtFLW@Work
Well there's three minutes of my life I'll never get back.

I hadn't checked the timeline, and when I saw my own comment there, echoing precisely what I felt, again, I had a genuine Groundhog day moment

07-08-2006, 15:33:31

with my compliments

Qaj the Fuzzy Love Worm
07-08-2006, 22:04:37
:lol: I don't remember that at all :) And I think my comment was directed towards the contents of the reviews, which, if I had read them wanting factual information about the game, I would have felt entirely ripped off even given that they're free :)

Timely, too, because I've been engaged in finding similarly crap products and crappier reviews for another forum recently. Spooky how things crop up in groups like this.

04-06-2007, 15:30:08
speaking of forza motorsport 2:

Great game if u do a 1 thing!!!, 1 Jun 2007
By Stephen Mcleod "game adict" (uk) - See all my reviews

This is a great game but if you dont follow the brake lines that tell u how much u need to brake and when, it is a terible terible game. If you do this then the game is great because it has great graphics and if you watch the video review on gamespot then you will know you will be able to customise the cars. If you wana exchange views contact me on my gamertag DonutboyMc. The demos great so i think the real thing will be even better.

and one that makes Venom's Gears of War review look like Descartes' Mediatations on First Philosophy:



This is what I screamed in glee when I first cut my best mate in half using the chainsaw bayonet function of my rifle.


Is what I screamed in horror when he got his revenge and crushed my skull with a curb stomp.


Is how I taunted the poor American online as I murdered him with a sticky bomb!!!!!

GOW is by far the greatest multiplayer game I have ever experienced.

As for the story mode - ignore what these guys are saying about completing it in a few hours. We all managed to do that on the easiest difficulty level. But jump the difficulty up a few notches and you have a truly manic hellraiser of a game that will take you to the edge of the emotional razorblade, before sinking it into the back of your head!!!

04-06-2007, 15:33:07

04-06-2007, 15:55:04
Originally posted by maroule
I hadn't checked the timeline, and when I saw my own comment there, echoing precisely what I felt, again, I had a genuine Groundhog day moment

It happened again. I swear I'm not making that up.

04-06-2007, 15:55:44
Originally posted by King_Ghidra
I don't know, but I like his/her scoring mechanism:

Overall score:

There was a +2 Lord of the Rings modifier.


04-06-2007, 15:57:39
Reviewer: squigglemunch from Reading, UK

OK, cough it up guys. Which one of you is squigglemunch ?