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alsieboo
31-12-2003, 22:17:56
Weirdoes in the night.
We like to
Play
With little children.
To stroke their
Soft
Smooth
Skin
Is far beyond
Your reach.
To watch their eyes
Light up
The flame
Ensues their pleasure.
We know
You like it
You can not
Deny it
Secretly
You crave us
Our
Wandering hands
Our
Comforting words
The feeling
We give you.
You feel the need
For your pulse to speed
Your breath
Gets heavy
You start to
Shake
With heady pleasure
ďMore
More
MoreĒ
You want
To cry, but
Something
Holds you back.
Denying
The right
You
Begin to
Fight.
The parents
Words
Are taking
Effect.
The thrill dies
Down
And turns to
Fear.
ďStop
Youíre hurtingĒ
Is what you
Cry out.
We know
You donít
Mean it.
We carry
On
Pursuing
Our dream.
Itís best
In the long run.
Itíll be alright
Calm down
Stop
Shouting
We donít want
To
Hurt
You.
Itís for
Your own
good

it's crap and unfinished but hey. thats life

Oerdin
31-12-2003, 23:25:45
Hmmm.... Strangely disturbing.

That said it's new year's eve so I'm off to get pissed.

Vincent
31-12-2003, 23:30:55
I like the quotes in the thread title

Vincent
31-12-2003, 23:33:03
Flies all green 'n buzzin' in his dungeon of despair
Prisoners grumble and piss their clothes and scratch their matted hair
A tiny light from a window hole a hundred yards away
Is all they ever get to know about the regular life in the day;
An' it stinks so bad the stones been chokin'
'N weepin' greenish drops
In the room where the giant fire puffer works
'N the torture never stops
The torture never stops

Slime 'n rot, rats 'n snot 'n vomit on the floor
Fifty ugly soldiers, man, holdin' spears by the iron door
Knives 'n spikes 'n guns 'n the likes of every tool of pain
An' a sinister midget with a bucket an' a mop where the blood goes down the drain;

An' it stinks so bad the stones been chokin'
'N weepin' greenish drops
In the room where the giant fire puffer works
'N the torture never stops
The torture never stops
The torture
The torture
The torture never stops.

Flies all green 'n buzzin' in his dungeon of despair
An evil prince eats a steamin' pig in a chamber right near there
He eats the snouts 'n the trotters first
The loin's 'n the groin's is soon dispersed
His carvin' style is well rehearsed
He stands and shouts
All men be cursed
All men be cursed
All men be cursed
All men be cursed
And disagree, well no-one durst
He's the best of course of all the worst
Some wrong been done, he done it first

(Well, well) An' he stinks so bad, his bones been chokin'
(Yeah) 'N weepin' greenish drops,
(Well) In the night of the iron sausage,
(Well) Where the torture never stops
The torture never stops
The torture
The torture
The torture never stops.

Flies all green 'n buzzin' in his dungeon of despair
Who are all those people that he's locked away up there
Are they crazy?,
Are they sainted?
Are they zeros someone painted?,
It has never been explained since at first it was created
But a dungeon like a sin
Requires naught but lockin' in
Of everything that's ever been
Look at hers
Look at him
That's what's the deal we're dealing in
That's what's the deal we're dealing in
That's what's the deal we're dealing in
That's what's the deal we're dealing in

alsieboo
31-12-2003, 23:45:30
oi, post in your own thread!

yes, i always seem to get the 'slightly disturbing' remark

Vincent
31-12-2003, 23:57:44
why not << >>?

alsieboo
01-01-2004, 00:15:33
because lil allie don like it, lol

johngalt
01-01-2004, 01:02:03
lol - with poetry like that, Alsiboo, I can understand why yer attractin the pedos and such on the Net.

But still - it was well written.

alsieboo
01-01-2004, 01:43:03
that was written because of the pedos darling. when most of the damage had been done. thank you for actually saying something other than 'disturbing'

johngalt
01-01-2004, 03:24:41
I realized that it was written in response to them - I was being facetious.

And I am always dancing to a different beat - as long as it is faster than 132 bpm....

Greg W
01-01-2004, 04:47:41
A bit bleak for my liking.

Funkodrom
02-01-2004, 00:51:00
I like
the
Pace of it.

Lady_of_Chicken
02-01-2004, 17:45:29
Two thoughts:

1) I like how the persona (the abuser) seems to be trying to work out the molestation as if the persona is one who may have also been abused. That makes the poem complex and psychologically intriguing...and different. Not the expected helpless victim or fighting-back-victim persona (nothing wrong with that, mind you)...which makes me consider that the complexity of this does stem from personal wisdom, compassion, strength and healing.

2) The literal shape of the poem seems to be like a sword (pointing down)...I can imagine the shape with a little creative spacing of the wording.

Debaser
02-01-2004, 20:05:39
I can't help but read it in the style of Vincent Price at the end of Thriller. Maybe you could end it with a Mwahaha hahaha mwahaha hahah type thing?

alsieboo
02-01-2004, 23:34:47
debaser, why don't you just add that in yourself.

lady of chicken, wow. someone actually took the time out to write something constructive and complimentary. thanks.

funk, you can do no wrong anyway ;)

TV4Fun
06-01-2004, 07:53:50
alsieboo writes poems
She writes about pedophiles
Winter poems get strange

Lazarus and the Gimp
06-01-2004, 17:29:03
That haiku's a bit flabby unless you pronounce "poems" as a one-syllable words.

TV4Fun
06-01-2004, 18:09:29
It can be either way. How about this?
alsieboo's poem
Poetry about pedos
Spring poem not bad