View Full Version : Discussion thread for La morte...

29-01-2002, 11:14:54
This piece was inspired by the heroic tales of Middle English, La morte D’Arthur and Beowulf in particular. I thought it would be interesting to tell the story of my heroic Phantasy Star Online character, the robot Ranger Richtofen, in this kind of style. After starting this just to try it out, I thought I’d like to fill out the tale and expand it, so this is just the account of one battle and I will post the complete tale as and when :-)
For those unfamiliar with PSO, it’s a kind of futuristic world where magic and technology mix, and where Hunters (Forces, Rangers and Hunters) work as mercenaries for the government and civilians alike.
The major thrust of the story is that people from a dying planet take off on a huge spaceship to colonise a new planet (just like SMAC!). 7 years later the rest of the population arrive on the new planet (Ragol) to complete the colonisation, but a huge explosion rocks the planet, and no trace of the first colonists can be found. Hunters beam down to the planet to investigate…
At the end of the second level, the hero descends into the depths of underground caves to fight the mutant beast De Rol Le, which has infected the wildlife of Ragol and turned them into monsters…

let me know what you think!

29-01-2002, 12:14:11
I like it. The subject works well with the epic style.

29-01-2002, 13:07:40
While I personally don't much care for the epic poem style of writing in general, I think you did quite well with this. I read the story before coming to this thread, and the very first thing that came to mind while reading was Beowulf, so I would say you've succeeded. I also like that you're using such an old art to express such a modern subject. Very creative! Keep it up!

29-01-2002, 13:46:32
I like epic poem style, think of how many metal songs they've inspired. ;)

29-01-2002, 23:15:52
My apologies upfront. I do not have a grasp of all the literary speak ya'll seem to have...hence Lady of Chicken and not something more elegant. So please forgive my layman speak.

I thought your poem was tight and consistent from beginning to end. You successfully put your story (the initial part of the tale) into the style that you aimed for, it seems.

I kept expecting to read wyrm or wyrme...and suddenly there it was! Is this an oversight or were you using the change in spelling for dramatic effect? (Or were you, like me, thinking modern words in older form of writing, and finally an older word slipped out? :) )

I also expected that you might draw on older stories and themes since that seems to be part of what is usually encountered in this style of writing. I am thinking of some of Canterbury Tales and Paradise Lost, not to mention Sir Gawain and The Green Knight.

Don't those stories use (casual) references to older myths and fables to support the story? I'm sorry but I can't recall what the term is for that, but when I read what you have done it seems that those things are missing. To keep with what you are doing--taking something modern and 'dressing it in an old suit' maybe your casual references would include references to other modern stories/games/tales of the sort that your reader will recall...and/or perhaps they will be references to your character's own history in those settings.

Not saying that you have done a poor job at all, but could you meet the challenge with that aspect of writing...or would it just not be what you are aiming for at all?

You may know better than I do (as might some of the other posters here) what I was trying to refer to about epic poems and 'casual references' to other myths and whatnot.

:) My two cents.